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March 31, 2008
How Senior Friendly Are You?
We must consider the implications of the labels and terms we use.
Which would you rather be called? “Shut-in” or “home-centered”? The elderly or ill are not really shut-in. Because of their condition they just have to stay centered in their home.
When I was in college, I wanted to serve in the local church in some way. I chose to bring the weekly service tape to a local “shut-in.”
As I think back, I cringe at that term. I didn’t know if I wanted to go and visit a person who had been “shut away.” Overcoming my reservations, I quickly came to the conclusion that a statement was being made about Miss Johnson that I didn’t like.
She had been a college professor in the School of Home Economics. She was in her mid-eighties and had macular degeneration. She was the neatest lady. Miss Johnson was so happy to have a visitor—a visitor who was studying in her subject matter! She loved having the weekly service to listen to as well.
I wouldn’t stay long, but was always amazed by her attitude and how she was adapting as her eyesight worsened. She would share with me her adventures of the week, people she visited with over the phone, and what she had listened to. She often expressed her frustration at being “shut off” from society.
I remember thinking as I walked back to my dorm, “Is that what ‘shut-in’ means? Shut off?” I know in my heart that is not what the church meant when they sent me to deliver the tape to Miss Johnson. They wanted to include her, keep her connected, stay in touch even though she could not leave her home. The center of Miss Johnson’s life had become her home. She was home-centered.
None of us like to label people, but sometimes we have to describe those we care about and want to serve. I challenge your faith community to begin calling those that have to stay centered in their home because of frailness or illness “home-centered” rather than “shut-in.”
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Comments
In commenting on your nice article, I would just like to ask - why put a "tag" on the elderly in the first place. Each individual is a human being in need of a house call, and just happens to be elderly. Does it matter that much to have to put her in a particular category?
It seems like we are classified as they do in a grocery store with fruits and veggies. They put all the onions, tomatoes, etc; into separate bins and you only choose the ones you like. They don't put the age on their veggies and fruit,and sometimes it would really be to our advantage if they did. Ha!!
It might just be a very fun visit if you go knowing nothing about the person you are visiting. You know, like a surprise gift? There is something degrading about putting people in categories.
How do I know? I am there now, and I don't want anybody putting me into a category. I'm still the same person I was when I was in my 20's. Just not as spry as I use to be.
I have found that when I go to the doctor with my daughter, the receptionist & nurse ask my daughter a question about me as if I'm not even there. Some even begin to speak very loud, and I don't have a hearing problem. It is very upsetting to me. The only problem I have is my arthritis, and I do need a walker. Does the walker tell them automatically I can't hear, nor think?
Blessings to you,
Martha
Posted by: Marty on July 11, 2008 5:04 PM
I'm a pastor of a small mainline congregation that is comprised of mostly older adults. I also recently completed a second Master's Degree in Social Gerontology where I studied the attitudes and knowledge of clergy toward older adults.
I found what other researchers before me have found, that clergy hold relatively favorable attitudes toward older adults. What is lacking among my clergy colleagues is their basic knowledge about the human aging process and how to effectively help or minister to, not only themselves, but their parishioners in the journey of aging and faith.
In our youth oriented culture we have lost the reality that life - all of life - is a journey and that aging is for everyone. We all age and that aging is part of the journey of faith and journey of life.
What absolutely amazed me about my research was the finding that clergy felt that death and dying and grief and loss were the major issues that older adults had to cope with. The life of faith is so much more and the older adults I minister to and with have taught me so much more. Believe me, older adults have many of the same issues - human issues - with which to cope. I don't find that they are sitting around waiting to die or grieve over what has past.
I also found that many clergy do not visit nursing home residents or those who are home centered, leaving that to to be undone in the case of small churches or to Elders,Deacons, Stephens Ministers, or other members in larger churches. I know I am also guilty of not visiting as much as I could as a small church pastor.
The human aging process and embracing our mortality is lacking in Seminary Curriculum and in Continuing Education events. I found that the clergy in my study wanted the resources to come from upper judicatories and Seminaries.
Only one major Mainline denomination has an office of Older Adult Ministry, others have closed those offices in the past decade. I only know of two more Evangelical (non Mainline) denominations that have active offices of Older Adult Ministry.
Since our population is aging (there are more persons in the USA over the age of 65 than under the age of 18) it would seem that the Church would want to better equip those who minister to this part of our membership.
Older Adults, yes even those who use walkers, have limited eyesight, hearing loss, and coping with a chronic illness can contribute to the life of a congregation. They have a legacy of faith that builds the cloud of witnesses that surrounds us, we just need to tap into it, but we often choose to ignore it for youthful exuberance.
Blessings and Thanks for this article.
Rev. Carla Libby Gentry
Posted by: Carla Gentry on August 9, 2008 4:59 PM