Another cause to care about.
Evangelicals are great activists. We're engaged on practially every issue. As a church, James told us to take care of the widows and orphans. Both metaphorically and literally we do. A prime example is the care given to AIDS victims in Africa, where the disease has made orphans and widows of millions.
But here in the U.S., we tend to think that the few widows and orphans we have are taken care of. Not so. A recent New Yorker article describes the way aging has changed and how we have regressed in our ability to care for the elderly. For Christians, who have been commanded to care for widows, this news comes with particular urgency: "More than half of the very old now live without a spouse." Add to that the facts that today's elderly had fewer children than other generations and those children are likely scattered across the country. In addition, medical care and nursing homes are extremely expensive. Add to that the fact that a major response to the abundance of care needed and the lack of resources available has been a major cause for advancing the argument for assisted suicide, and I think you have a major reason why evangelicals need to quickly get the activists in gear on this issue.
Because most others are not. "People natually prefer to avoid the subject of their decrepitude," writes Atul Gawande. Still, there are costs to averting our eyes from the realities. For one thing, we put off changes that we need to make as a society. For another, we deprive ourselves of opportunities to change the individual experience of aging for the better.
Gawande focuses on policy problems. Insurers don't want to pay for preventative care. Hospitals lose money treating arthritis instead of the hip replacement that might be caused by an arthritic toe which makes walking difficult. Assisted-living facilities and nursing homes are ridiculously expensive. And nurses are more and more difficult to find. We're losing geriatricians, who specialize in managing a person's decline to allow for a gradually increasing frailty instead of one big emergency that lands someone in a nursing home. Instead doctors, 97 percent of whom take no courses in geriatrics, are practicing plastic surgery. "When the prevailing fantasy is that we can be ageless, the geriantrician's uncomfortable demand is that we accept we are not."
Christians haven't been hesitant to apply their activism to stop slave trading, HIV/AIDS, or religious persecution. In many ways this seems a simpler problem. Let's do better to visit the elderly, include them in our churches, and learn from them as they navigate one of the most difficult periods of life--when they face their mortality eye to eye. Surely they have spiritual lessons to teach us about loving not the world. And in the meantime, we'll be fulfilling James's command: "Look after orphans and widows in their distress."
Posted by Rob Moll on May 1, 2007 2:09PM
Comments
God bless you for this reminder. It's not always the flashiest causes that are the most important. I recently visited a residential care facility and spent some time with the seniors there. The look in their eyes when I spoke with them as fellow humans was priceless. I intend to go back.
Loneliness can be as painful as any disease.
Posted by: Rob Rumfelt at May 1, 2007
Being elderly and living in a smaller community also is a problem. Frequently they don't get enough to be able to keep their vehicles. I see many, either elderly or disabled, hobbling to and from the store because what little public transportation we have here costs so much (a round trip to the store can cost as much as the groceries they're getting). People make the mistake of thinking there are all kinds of programs to help them, but what they don't realize is there are more referral services than there are actual services. The federal government may give them a cost of living increase each year, but the states then take it away from them by cutting medical benefits and food aid, and increasing their housing costs. What's more, the government gets to write more and more people off because while it may SET the poverty level every year, they only ADJUST it every 5-6 years - and it DOESN'T keep up with inflation.
Posted by: S.A.M. at May 2, 2007
PS: Thank you for a MUCH NEEDED article!
Posted by: S.A.M. at May 2, 2007
ONE OF THE BEST RESOURCES FOR SERVICES TO THE ELDERLY IS THE ELDERLY. I AM AN OLD MAN WHO VISITS AND / OR CALLS SOME ELDERLY PEOPLE REGULARLY. THE NUMBER OF SMALL THINGS I CAN DO FOR OTHER OLD PEOPLE IS MUCH APPRECIATED. THE PEOPLE I CAN SERVE APPRECIATE THE SERVICE. I APPRECIATE THE GIFT GOD IS GIVING ME. IT WORKS OUT QUITE WELL. I STRONGLY RECOMEND IT.
Posted by: LOU SANDBERG at May 3, 2007
My mother is 87 years old and has cancer. The denomination that she has belonged to for more than 50 years and the church that she has attended for about the past 15 years is really delinquent when it comes to doing anything for my mother. When she goes to church which is seldom lately, she has to take the church bus. Yesterday was one of those days when she got herself ready and went downstairs to get the bus, the bus never showed up. Apparently someone had been told to call and tell her this, but either they called and my mother was not in or they didn't call, I don't know. However, my mother got ready to go to church and no one picked her up. Furthermore, she was then told that there wouldn't be a bus next Sunday. Last week, my sister's pastor from another church dropped by in a surprise visit! This is a pastor that gives my mother a hug whenever she has visited his church, and so now next Sunday, since she can't get to her own church, she has expressed a desire to go to this church. To me it is very sad to see something like this happen. My mother really perks up when she gets occasional visits from people, but I really believe that someone in my mother's condition should be even delivered the occasional meal. Of course, there are family members in the city, but one works and also has four children. And my sister, and her mother, chooses not to do much for my mother as well except to occasionally have her over for a day or two.
Posted by: Valerie Battaglia at June 11, 2007
Please also remember that their are young women who are made widows and thier children as well as others that are made orphans. If Jesus thought enough to mention us much less hold us for example to his believers then why is it that our society forgets us altogether or excludes us to the point that wee too have to struggle to survive...whether it is housing, food, gas money, transportation or even a genuine hug and concern. I happen to have been a widow at 39 years old with a 14 year old child and no family due to a history of only children.
The best give I have been given is the love of the Lord who is probably the only person who loves me as completely as he does. What better example do we have to lead us to complete humility? Please don;t forget the other widows, widowers and orphans who may not be seeing their golden years.
Posted by: Dale Seaverns at December 28, 2007
When I read the article by Miriam Neff, I kept thinking, "But what about me, what about us?" What about the women whose husbands leave? While I was deeply touched by the article, I was also angered. We have no grave to visit, no words of praise we can say. We are every bit as alone as the widow - perhaps more so because of the social stigma, the people who look at you and think, "What did you do wrong?" There is no life insurance, there are no social security benefits. There are no Biblical commands about how God values us or how the church is to care for us. We have the same gaping wounds, the same unbalance that makes us feel like we've had a limb ripped off, our hearts are equally broken. What about our children - they are for all practical purposes orphans, but not technically so, and for those who follow the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law, we no longer exist - we're not even sure we exist to God, and if we do, it's barely. We don't have the instruction scripture give to young widows to remarry. In fact, scripture is so muddied on the subject, most of us can't even consider remarriage. Our trust in our spouse is gone; our trust in the body of believers that we thought would help us through our pain is gone; our trust in God and the clarity of Scripture is gone. God bless widows everywhere. How I wish I was one.
Posted by: Alison at January 18, 2008
Having just experienced the death of my father the day after Christmas, I have a new awareness of widows and widowhood as I walk with my mother through the greatest transition of her life, and that at the elderly age of 79. She is stronger than I realized, and God is supporting her in so many ways. But she has so many needs, and I and my siblings cannot meet all of them. She is blessed with a beautiful body of local believers who are supporting her; probably she has a stronger support system than many widows.
Still, there are huge gaps in her life now. And I must admit that I have lived with the majority of Christians in my "un-awareness" of the widows around me. The church certainly needs to grow in intentionaltiy and awareness in this ministry so near and dear to the heart of God. Thank you for your article, which I will be passing on to others.
Mary
Posted by: Mary M at January 19, 2008
Praise God for this information it is timely and TRUE!!! We live in a "grief denying' society and our churchs, unfortunately , act in society as well. It is no wonder God pointed out the needs of widows and orphans since the least seen are frequently those ignored. Thanks for the info...Keep on keeping on and have FAITH- Forsaking All I Trust Him.
Posted by: Victoria Jardine-Naranjo at January 27, 2008
Thank you so much Valerie Battaglia for your post I was just about ready to say the same thing you did until I saw yours. Alot of times the younger widows are forgotten. I am soon to be 40 years old and my husband died suddenly during the night this past September (07) Thankfully I have a great support system in my parents and my best best girlfriends. I don't know what would've happened to me if I hadn't had them. I too was left with a 14y/o child to take care of, I am disabled so therefore am unable to work and his was the only income for the family. Thankfully we qualified for social security survivors benefits or I don't know where we would be right now.
Posted by: Dee at January 31, 2008
This article for me as new widower with a son helps me to know that God looks at how we are treated and cared for by the church and the support of others if we are put away out of sight we suffer friends may pull away bot the Lord does not closer to thee
Posted by: steven givhan at February 24, 2008
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