July 31, 2007 10:48AM
Why I Have Sex

Texas psychologists map the motives for our intimate connections.


David Neff

An intriguing news item in this morning’s New York Times reports on a University of Texas at Austin study of why people have sex. The researchers asked subjects why they had sex (or if they were inexperienced, why they would have sex if they could). They boiled down a longer list of 715 responses into a shorter list of 237 reasons, then analyzed and categorized them.

There are few surprises in the list of top responses. The researchers write: “An astonishing 123 items, or 52% of the items, showed significant gender differences.” Duh!

Women tended toward more relational answers (‘‘I wanted to express my love for the person’’; ‘‘I realized that I was in love.’’). Men were more libidinous, more status oriented, and more utilitarian. Fortunately, relational factors still ranked high for men. Both “I wanted to please the person” and “I wanted to express my love for the person,” were in the top ten reasons for men.

What was missing from the top 50 reasons for both sexes? Jon Tierney, writer of the Times article, noted wryly: “[The researchers] even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child.” Shockingly, this item showed up in the bottom 50 for men. Maybe that’s just the sample bias that comes from relying largely on university students as subjects.

Nevertheless, the rarity of procreation as a conscious reason for sex poses a challenge for Christian believers. One of the key reasons that God invented sex is procreation. And while I can relate to many of the other reasons given in the study (“I was horny”; “I desired emotional closeness”), I have clear memories of having intercourse with my wife at various times precisely because we wanted a child (or another child).

My wife and I came of age just about the time the Pill was widely introduced to American society. We still thought in terms of the nexus between sex and children. In our contraceptive society, however, that intuitive connection has been culturally severed. I believe in using birth control to plan our families, but this cultural disconnect is one of the unforeseen side effects of the Pill. It sometimes seems that only among countercultural minority groups (such as conservative Protestants and Catholics, the Mormons, and Orthodox Jews) do the blessings of family and the acts of sex retain their fundamental connection.

So, to my countercultural fellows, I say, go make babies; go make families.

Posted by David Neff on July 31, 2007 10:48AM

Comments

I took the time to post a serious response to David's post.

I was neither inflammatory nor less than polite.

I discussed the Scriptural reasons for my response.

I then posted a link to this post and directed my large list of readers, blog visitors to visit your site.

I would love to know why you decided to delete my response.

Is this comment section at the bottom of your page only for comments that agree with the above post/author?

Posted by: Robert Irwin at August 3, 2007

I guess I don't get the point. If the author of the post believes that God created sex predominantly for procreation, then presumably, the author has sex predominantly for the purpose of procreation?? In that case, why would they need the Pill or contraceptives?

Posted by: Kirsten at August 7, 2007

I agree that God created sex primarily for procreation but don't you think that humankind has been using some type of form of contraceptives from the beginning before scientific methods helped to produce medicine? A bible professor told me that multiplying and filling the earth as commanded by God very well could be the one commandment we haver successfully lived out. Furthermore, your ending is absurd. Do you really think every single time a Christian married couple has sex they should be trying to conceive? If so, you are completely disregarding the amazing overpopulation that is occurring and would be drastically adding to it; unless, instead your advice would then be to tell Christian couples to have sex approximately 10 times or less throughout their life time to hopefully have only two children, again in hopes of not overpopulating the world any more than it already is. Don't we already have serious divorce issues and your advice is either to procreate way too many times or to stop having sex altogether undoubtedly creating more issues that would lead to marital affairs? I have to say I like the intent that God gave us sex for procreation, but I have to disagree with your conclusions.

Posted by: Morgan Greer at March 7, 2008

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