No matter what you call it, it's no day in the park for believers.
The word scrupulosity and its derivatives don't show up much in today's language. But the mental state it describes - an obsession with one's sins and ridding them at all costs - has caused the suffering of many a Christian both past and present. It's derived from the 14th century Latin word scrupulus, meaning a "sharp stone or pebble," used figuratively by Cicero to describe that which causes unease or anxiety. Think of it as a jagged pebble lodged firmly in the recesses of the mind, causing Martin Luther, for example, to go through confession marathons with annoyed priests to make sure he hadn't left one sin unconfessed.
An article on today's ABC News "Mind & Mood" website, a mental-health forum, shares the story of one modern-day sufferer. Cole M.'s scrupulosity (what psychiatrists have labeled a "religious form of obsessive-compulsive disorder") manifested as a fixation on counting the number of letters in his sentences to make sure they were multipliers of the number 7 (God, holiness) and not 6 (Satan, sin). He would also go through daily bowing rituals before icons before heading to school, and experienced panic attacks when his fellow classmates used profanity.
Even during conversations, Cole silently counted, multiplied and added letters in words to make a sum of seven. For instance, take the sentence: The cat is gray. In less than a second Cole has an answer: "Cat plus gray equals seven letters. 'The' and 'is' equals five," said Cole. "So, in order to get the [second] seven, I'd make the cross of the 't' count and the dot of the 'i' count. . . . Nobody would be able to tell that I'm doing this," Cole said. . . .
Such activities, though seemingly minute, become debilitating due to the excessive amount of mental energy they require. For the believer, an obsession with moral purity can stifle fruitful relationships with other Christians, and perhaps ironically, with the Lord himself. Instead of leading a believer to a deeper trust in God's mercy on account of their sins - a trust that is meant to bring "peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ" - scrupulosity focuses the person back on the efforts of him or herself, which usually leads to excessive guilt and despair.
One answer for those who suffer comes from Ian Osborn, a Penn State psychiatrist who has just released Can Christianity Cure Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?: A Psychiatrist Explores the Role of Faith in Treatment (Brazos Press). Though Osborn makes clear that in most cases, no amount of praying and confession will "cure" someone of OCD (or scrupulosity, whichever you prefer), specifically Christian teaching has significantly reduced the symptoms of OCD in the lives of his patients. Osborn argues his case by examining the lives of three Christian giants who were noted for their scrupulosity: Luther, John Bunyan, and Saint Therese of Lisieux. He traces each's journey from obsession with sins to eventual freedom in a reclamation of justification by faith alone - or in psychiatric terms, "responsibility modification therapy." Through the Holy Spirit's illumination of Scripture, Luther, Bunyan, and Therese came to the realization that they could "transfer responsibility" from themselves to Jesus for being clean before the Lord. Whether this is effective psychology or just really good theology, there is hope for Christians who are trapped in this life-squelching obsession.
Posted by Katelyn Beaty on March 31, 2008 2:14PM
Comments
Muslims and Jews can also suffer from beint too scrupolous.
Posted by: Moishe at April 1, 2008
I'm glad to see this subject addressed. I've always known I was a Martin Luther but haven't known what to do about it. All I can say is that it's agony. Until I heard the word scrupulosity, what I experienced was something I was unable to describe to anyone. And even yet, I'm not sure I would call what I have scrupulosity or OCD. I've recently read a study that defines me even better. It explains the difference between someone who acts like a fully adopted son of God, versus someone who is a fully adopted son of God but still has an orphan mentality (although I might compare it to a bad marriage where you walk on eggshells because you never know what's going to make your spouse throw you out, beat you up or kill you). People with an orphan/bad mariage mentality live in constant fear. We are always waiting for the other shoe to fall; we're waiting to do the unintentional and yet inevitable thing that's going to get us kicked out of heaven, or at least bounced off the face of the earth. We know that we can never please God and eventually we are likely to quit trying. At night we fearfully lay on our beds in a fetal position wondering whether God will allow us to live until morning, until we cry ourselves to sleep by repeating over and over the words, "You know my frame; you know I am just dust." This "condition" has rarely been written about, and when it is, it is usually referred to as a "Catholic" disease without a hint of a cure. I am looking forward to reading Osborn's book. And, in the meantime, I will resort to the only cure I know, which is to be repeatedly told, "God loves you, God loves you, God loves you." It is impossible to say (or hear) those three words too often.
Posted by: Alison at April 1, 2008
thanks for article..i know theology well yet suffer from this disease..like samuel johnson did..who i relate to as a comfort..the killer is the energy used..can't sequence out stuff i want to do..stuff i like..it all converges at once and leaves me semi-catatonic..thinking times 10..then again..from theolgy to cooking supper..i hate it and have asked our Father to accept all my thinking or talking as a form of constant prayer..which actually becomes conscious..this helps me.. and knowing difference between real sins and eccentric personality quirks etc..that arent..also, don't make agendas for yourself..just be true to your new self in Christ..a modification of shakespeare's saw...glad someone brought this out..
Posted by: bob at April 1, 2008
alison,
where did you read the article on living as an adopted child or on with an orphan mentality?
jack
Posted by: jack at April 2, 2008
As one who has suffered from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and specifically, scrupulosity, it was the most challenging, most difficult "dark night of the soul" I have ever experienced in my entire life. Before being diagnosed with OCD and scrupulosity in 1992 by a Christian psychaitrist, I was overwhelmed with the most hiddeous, blasphemous thoughts imaginable that would race through my mind constantly. To remedy this, thinking it was Satan's attacks, I would cry out to God over and over again in a ritualistic, sort-of prayer. And although it may have given me temporary relief, in essence the blasphemous thoughts would only worsen and become more intense. I also felt like I had to be a "Super-Christian"--reading my Bible for literally hours every day, as well as pray for hours on end, or otherwise I was going to hell. I was always under a state of guilt and anxiety, just knowing that God was on the verge of dropping me into the Lake of Fire. I would go to the altar at church several times during services, even when invitations had not yet been given. I was plauged even with thoughts of suicide. The Bedrock of my faith in Jesus Christ that I had claimed since I was 4-years old was shaken to its roots, and I truly felt abandoned by God. However, once I was finally diagnosed with OCD and started to understand that my difficulties were not directly related to Spiritual Warfare but a Mental Illness (although I know that Satan was laughing in the midst of my suffering), and began treatment with medication and psychotherapy, God began to bring healing to my life. I can now look back and see that where I thought God had abandoned me, He was really holding me closer than I could have ever imagined. He was not going to let me go. Now, I have continued to struggle with OCD in one form or another since then, though not directly related to my spirituality, but God continues to remain faithful and guides my life every day. I want to encouage anyone reading this Blog that may be suffering in this way not to lose hope but to seek help from both mental health professionals and spiritual advisors. May God minister to your brokenness and make you whole again.
Posted by: Adam R. Hunter at April 24, 2008
Hello I have OCD and I say things in prayer I don;t mean and then have to pray to tell God that I don't mean them and then ultimatley messing that prayer up and the cycle repeats every day all the time and it drives me insane. What can I do to stop the cycle.
Posted by: Mike at July 6, 2008
This is for Jack's posting back in April 2, 2008. I can so much relate...and finally on medication now too, I believe that God brought these doctors into my life and they have been wonderful. I'm taking baby steps and keep my faith in GOD and Jesus in my heart and soul.
Posted by: Diane at July 21, 2008
I'm not sure I would call what I have scrupulosity or OCD. I've recently read a study that defines me even better. It explains the difference between someone who acts like a fully adopted son of God, versus someone who is a fully adopted son of God but still has an orphan mentality although I might compare it to a bad marriage where you walk on eggshells because you never know what's going to make your spouse throw you out, beat you up or kill you.The Bedrock of my faith in Jesus Christ that I had claimed since I was 4-years old was shaken to its roots, and I truly felt abandoned by God.
----------------
Ancil
Alabama Alcohol Addiction Treatment
Posted by: Ancil at August 22, 2008
hey i have ocd and im only 15 years old im not as bad as i was
when i was younger but i would like to know could ocd lead to anykind of health problem of even couse an death problem
Posted by: Emily at November 6, 2008
Hi there!
I'm a casting producer on a new documentary for A&E and I came across your profile. I thought you or someone you know might be interested. I've pasted the info below. Hope to hear from you! We are looking for people who live in Southern CA only at this time.
OCD Documentary Seeks Participants!
A new documentary series about OCD and related disorders is searching for people that are in need of help. This non-exploitive documentary will have the goal of improving the participants' lives through sessions with a licensed therapist who specializes in obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Is your OCD severely affecting your life and the lives of your loved ones?
Are you a washer/cleaner? A checker? A hoarder? An orderer?
Do you have intense anxiety or phobias that prevent you from living your life the way you want to?
Are you ready to get your life back and rid yourself of these behaviors forever?
Chosen applicants will receive FREE cognitive behavioral therapy from doctors and licensed therapists including:
John Tsilimparis, MFT, and Karen Pickett, MFT
For more information, send us an email at TherapyCasting@yahoo.com or call us at (310)341-2500 and ask for casting.
Posted by: Jane S at November 14, 2008
Mike,
Just let the thoughts be there, knowing that they are not sins but are the result of a malfunctioning brain. God knows and understands your plight. Trying not to think of them just keeps them in your mind. Practice letting them be there and ignoring them. They are junk mail from the brain. Treat them as you would the rantings of a drunk on the street corner. Check out The Scrupe Group, an online self-help group of fellow sufferers monitored by a Lutheran pastor.
Posted by: Steve Herman at January 10, 2009
I feel like I must pause and think the names GOD and JESUS whenever I think to do it. Also, I feel like when I read or say GOD or JESUS then I must them out loud(or louder than the other words in the sentence or song) and then and focus and think of Them. Also, I have trouble keeping bad thoughts out of my head even if I don't mean them, then I must alpologize. I feel like if I commit a sin, even minor, or don't know if what I did was sin, then I must apologize. I feel like I have to apologize if people around me commit sin. I just don't want to do anything wrong and must do everything right. What can I do to help? What is the truth?
Posted by: Elliott at February 15, 2009
I SAY PRAYERS and say things that I don't mean then I go back and say that I didn't mean them but then worry about if he listened to the thing I didn't mean. It is very time consuming and the worry lasts and lasts what to do ?
Posted by: Mike at March 26, 2009
Romans 8:1 "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ" Through Christ's sacrifice God has forgiven you, you who He has always loved. Forgive yourself, let these thoughts go, they are not who you are in Christ Jesus, you can be truly free, just trust God's Word! Don't be afraid to tell people close to you or get help. God works through people just as he works through miracles, trust in Him always and know you are forgiven and loved!
God Bless
~M
Posted by: M at June 8, 2009
Hi All
I was just reading through your posts and can sympathize so much. After probably twenty years of off and on OCD/Scrupulous behavior, I have finally come to the conclusion that my feelings/condition results from out of control anxiety. The good news, I've found something that is helping A LOT! It's called the Linden Method (just google it to find the program). The program was created by a fellow sufferer of OCD and Panic Attacks who "healed" himself with this method and has since helped hundreds of thousands of others.
I know for those of us who suffer from religiously-based OCD or scrupulosity, it can seem like even getting better is somehow sinful. Just know (and deep in your heart you do) that God doesn't want you to live this way. Jesus is with you right now but you need to help yourself so that he can help you too.
I would HIGHLY recommend checking out Linden's program. It is a little pricey ($100) but wouldn't you pay ten times that to be free from how you're feeling? Check it out and May God Bless You and Free you from your self-imposed prison.
ps - I am in no way an employee or marketer for the Linden Method. I don't receive any kickbacks/bonuses for sending people to it either. I just wanted others to know about a program that has done a lot for me.
Take care,
Mark
Posted by: Mark B at August 18, 2009
I am a christian that has suffered many years with ocd/scrupulosity. I knew I had a problem when I was in college and I would spend hours trying to pray the sinner's prayer. I would try to pray but felt like I didn't mean what I said,so would keep praying trying to pray the perfect prayer. Then once I finally felt satisfied, I was then on eggshells to 'keep my savation"-quite a miserable existance for someone who really loves the Lord. Mike, I appreciated your posting. I think the key is to treat it like junk mail and to recognize that you can't make it go away.
Jenifer
Posted by: Jenifer at October 6, 2009
My battle with scrupulosity began three years ago Firstly i thank God Almighty who has given us knowledge which is is limitless. Common knowledge would tell us that since we commuunicate with each other we realise that we are not alone in this heavy battle I always think that i am a soldier ready to go to battle with an enemy in my mind and i always come out the victor. i dont take medication anymore since i realised that the voices that call out from my mind are harmless.I now shrug these thoutghts off and it is easy We are suffer from some form of OCD ours are more painful since it is religious. The reason why we suffer is because we may have suffered some trauma in life eg divorce, loneliness, death of a close loved one etc so we turn to God ,but the god we turn to is the one we created in our minds
Posted by: essak dada at October 25, 2009
Post a comment