Nationally syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker released a book this summer that may prove an unlikely ally for those concerned about the lack of engaged men in American churches. In Save the Males: Why Men Matter, Why Women Should Care, Parker identifies our cultural moment as one in which it's acceptable to portray men as dumb, violent, sex-crazed, or irresponsible husbands and fathers. (Movies and TV shows like Everybody Loves Raymond, Two and a Half Men, and Knocked Up, to name but a few, typify this depiction.)

Parker, who frequently writes on families and sexuality, believes cultural "male-bashing" in part comes from the mainstreaming of a feminism that assumes men must be devalued so that women may rise to a place of equal treatment politically and professionally. What is refreshing about Parker's argument is that it's rooted not in shrill, anti-feminist rhetoric (she calls herself a feminist), but in Parker's personal history and current family situation: She was raised by a single father after her mother died, and now has three young boys. Her adolescence was marked by the realization that men are, well, human. Here's how she described it to Karen Spears Zacharias:

Each day after school, I joined [my father] at his law office where I did my homework until he finished up. Once home, we convened in the kitchen where he cooked while I perched on a wooden stool peeling potatoes. We talked.
In that ritualized communion, I learned many useful lessons about the opposite sex. I learned that men like to talk while doing something else. . . . I learned that fathers adore their children and will sacrifice anything to help them succeed. I learned that fathers will lay their lives down for their children. I learned that men are capable of honor, valor, compassion and courage and that they are essential to instilling those virtues in their sons and daughters.

Given Parker's thoroughly personalized vision of men and subsequent sensitivity to male-bashing, some of the antidotes to American churches' lack of men offered by David Murrow, author of Why Men Hate Going to Church and ChurchforMen.com, strike me as ironic. Could it be that Murrow's solutions -- shorter, to-the-point sermons, action-oriented worship songs like "Onward Christian Soldiers," ministries that feature cars or extreme sports -- play on the very caveman stereotypes that belittle men instead of help them utilize their gifts through full participation in church life?

Posted by Katelyn Beaty at August 15, 2008 | Comments (5)

Saddleback church's Rick Warren and his wife Kay have never been shy about using computer technology to get out the messages of their respective books (mega-seller "Purpose Driven Life" and Kay's new book, "Dangerous Surrender").

But a new opportunity opened up recently with their joint appearance at Gordon College, Wenham, Mass., near Boston, where Rick delivered the graduation commencement address.

Gordon President Jud Carlberg and his wife Jan separately video-interviewed Rick and Kay respectively and the full interviews (as well as the commencement address) are now featured at:

Gordon's i Tunes U.

During the commencement address, Gordon College notes:

[Warren] said students should invest their lives in things that will last such as God's Word and human relationships. "It's not the duration of your life that matters, it's the donation."

At the end of May, I spent time with both Warrens at Saddleback church during the recent 2008 Purpose Driven Community Gathering, where Rick launched PEACE 2.0, an updated version of the PEACE Plan he launched several years ago.

At Saddleback, the Warrens have an unusual ability to put people at ease and insert humor into situations. At one point during the three-day event, Rick made a comment about his own marriage when suddenly Kay (off-stage in the green room) walked on stage and comically threw a shoe across the stage at him. Of course, they kissed and made up, but the laughter that resulted added a human touch.

Later on, during an evening breakout session on HIV and Christian ministry (or rather the lack thereof), Kay invited a church-goer with HIV to share his story on the spot. For the first time in public, he admitted to being HIV positive and that he had been "hiding in the pew" for years, not telling anyone. His message to pastors was a simple one: Don't suppose your own church doesn't have people like him.

It was a powerful witness.

Why are so many Christian leaders critical of Saddleback's strategies?

Posted by Tim Morgan at June 3, 2008 | Comments (8)

Not so long ago, the average mid-twentysomething had achieved most of adulthood’s milestones—high school degree, financial independence, marriage, and children. These days, he lingers—happily—in a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance. Decades in unfolding, this limbo may not seem like news to many, but in fact it is to the early twenty-first century what adolescence was to the early twentieth: a momentous sociological development of profound economic and cultural import. Some call this new period “emerging adulthood,” others “extended adolescence”; David Brooks recently took a stab with the “Odyssey Years,” a “decade of wandering.”

But while we grapple with the name, it’s time to state what is now obvious to legions of frustrated young women: the limbo doesn’t bring out the best in young men. With women, you could argue that adulthood is in fact emergent. Single women in their twenties and early thirties are joining an international New Girl Order, hyperachieving in both school and an increasingly female-friendly workplace, while packing leisure hours with shopping, traveling, and dining with friends [see “The New Girl Order,” Autumn 2007]. Single Young Males, or SYMs, by contrast, often seem to hang out in a playground of drinking, hooking up, playing Halo 3, and, in many cases, underachieving. With them, adulthood looks as though it’s receding.

So begins an article by Kay S. Hymowitz, "Child-Man in the Promised Land: Today’s single young men hang out in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood," published in City Journal.

I've had a few conversations recently with 20-something women about 20-something men. The women, to say the least, are not impressed with their counterparts. This article explains, in part, why that might be so--even in the Christian community. While some of the behavior described does not fit the Christian subculture, the larger picture seems to.

I'm not sure what "the answer" is, but Hymowitz does us a service by simply naming the problem.

(Cross posted on Galliblog)

Posted by Mark Galli at February 12, 2008 | Comments (25)