Thanks Caryn for this reminder that we are not alone. I sat with Elisa over lunch at a conference years ago. At that time we both had very young children and we laughed together over the joys and challenges of those years. As I read your post, I thought that in more recent years we probably would have sat and cried together over the struggles. We too have had teen and young adult children in rebellion, and I too have wondered if we just bowed out of our ministries would Satan leave our family alone. I stand in agreement with Ivy. With time and prayer, we have watched the miracle of spiritual growth in the lives of our older children, and experienced the joy of the Lord's healing in my own heart. We continue to watch and pray for our youngest child, trusting the Savior for another miracle and hour of rejoicing. I do know that in all we have experienced God alone gets all of the glory, any touch of parenting pride we may have had has been stripped away. And we love to tell of the wonders He has done!

Oh my gosh, I wish you guys would have had this about 10 years ago. I felt so alone. It was my daughter. I was humiliated and of course, the congregation felt I couldn't tell them anything, if my child was running wild and loose. I have never in my life hurt that bad. It was about six years before I could even talk about it. She's better now, however like your son, still in need of Christ in her life, and I'm better now, with a relationship with God through Christ that's stronger than ever. I will never leave him, nor forsake him. But like you, I felt like getting out of the ministry because of the attack and pain.

This website is simply awesome. I, most of the time, feel alone although I always know God is near. My husband is a Pastor, I have been ordained Elder/Teacher... the roll of mother, wife, First Lady, etc. is quite a bit and I feel I cannot confide with anyone in the congregation. My children are 7 and 17. My 17 year old struggled with drugs two years ago and we placed him in a program and he was out of the home for 1.5 years. It literally ripped my heart although I'll place no one or situation over God almighty. He kept his grades and has now graduated from High School and is hopefully still preparing for College. Recently hew was drinking and driving so we stripped his car priviledges. He said that he would quit his job if this were the case. My husband told him in order to stay he had to work and prepare for college. He decided to move out and stay with friends mainly because he does not agree with our Christian Living. I feel like it's happening all over again but I know that God still reigns and healthy seeds have been planted within him. It is my desire that this teach me not to have a critical spirit and to be an understanding, compassionate Christian knowing that sometimes we do all we can and our children take their own route. I'd love to have some female leaders to speak with who understand and have experienced or are experiencing the pressures of life dealing with family. I must say that my 7 year old little girl is an absolute joy although this has dampened her spirit and she doesn't quite understand as she loves family and the Lord! I know I am not alone and I thank God that this can only make me stronger knowing that all things work together for the good...thank you for reading and I would enjoy any God encouragement, scripture and prayers. It is my desire to walk in the spirit and not according to my flesh and feelings of: why? humiliation, wondering what people think, etc. Thank you for your comments that will catapult me into my next level of dealing with these things the way God wants me too according to His Word.

I so appreciate the words of these ladies. I have been in ministry in various ways for the last nine years. Our daughter went from a focused excellent student who had a heart for missions into a rebellious teenager who struggled with substance abuse. She is doing better now, but it's still a long road back. In the process my heart was completely broken, but yet I know that God has made me into a more compassionate loving person because of what I've suffered. You are right. It is hard to find the right people to talk with, but I'm thankful for the resources I have found. I'm planning to start a support group for Hurting Parents of wayward teens/young adults. I too have wondered about the spiritual warfare aspect of being in ministry and feeling "targeted" because of that. I would appreciate your prayers!

I would love to give some hope to those of you suffering with and for your children. Both of our daughters became pregnant out of wedlock, our oldest daughter had two children out of wedlock. Our youngest son was involved in drugs and is still smoking pot at the age of 31.
I was so heart broken I would wake up at night crying in my sleep because I was looking for him in my dreams and could not find him. Many times I feared for his life. He recently went through a painful divorce after only 2 years of marriage to a professing christian,and has been in deep pain because of that sitution. Out of our 5 children only one has never caused any major pain in our lives.
But let me encourge you all by saying the youngest is limping along behind Jesus, going to a pastor for counseling and working on his problems, he is heading in the right direction. Our youngest daughter is 33yrs, married to the beliving father of all 3 of her children, they are active in middleschool ministry. Their children all love Jesus. Our oldest daugher who was never interested in following Jesus and gleefuly told me when she was younger that she never listened in church or Sunday School.(she now regrets that) The Lord really ministered to her during her first pregnancy with pictures of love and forgiveness when she and I would pray together. She is married to the non believing father of her children. She is following the Lord and praying for her husband. Her daughter 17yrs is following the Lord and her younger brother loves Jesus too. I pray our experience will bring all of you who are in painful circumstances now hope and encourgement.

God works wonders and he is there for us regardless how dark the night or how bright the day

Thanks for sharing "deep wounds".when I came across this web,I told my husband,"honey listen there are others like us".My husband & I are Pastors.Those of us who are in ministry must relaize we are under satan's attack & we must "war" on the behalf of our love ones just like we would for anyone else.I must be honest,not only have our family hurted,but sometimes because of our children living in rebellious & we experiencing the shame that comes along with this we have a tendency of "seeing" our son or "seeing" our daughter instead of "seeing" they also have a Soul that need to be Saved.

God is faithful, for we walk by faith (in God's word) and not by sight. I have 4 children 2 young ladies who love the Lord with all their hearts and 2 young men who are going their own way. BUT GOD has given me His word and I am standing on it and fighting the enemy with it. For if God says it that settles it. I am a Pastor's wife and my husband and I raised all our children up in the Lord. It is very hard to see this happen in our children when did all we could to raise them according to the word of God. Yes, we made some mistakes but who doesn't. The bottom line is you did your best and then they too have to find their way. We are praying now that they have a Damacus road experience that will change their lives. They no longer live with us but we still have contact with them and pray every day to love them unconditionally. God is faithful to His Word. It is His will that non perish and that all come to the saving knowledge of our Jesus Christ. I encourage you dear sisters to stand strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can resist the tricks (lies) of the enemy. Eph. 6:10-
What has helped us is that God has given us Rhema (His written word spoken just for us for our sons).This is what I fight the enemy with every day. God will do the same for you. But until He does you can lean on these promises from God's word.
Prov. 1:21; Is.49:25 and Jer.31:16-17
Praying for each one of you. Keep praying and believing, for our God is faithful!

I am so encouraged by Elisa's honesty and also by all these other comments that other mothers have posted. It is very interesting to me that I didn't even realize Elisa had been through these difficult situations with her children and we are about to have her as our guest speaker at our spring women's conference. It is amazing how God brings people into our lives to encourage us. I am a mother of 5 children and our 23 yr. old son has been a drug addict since he was 16yrs. old and he too was raised in a loving and Godly home and like many of you I came to the point of realizing that I could no longer carry the guilt of his choices but must continue to walk in faith and love him unconditionally but we also had to have some tough boundaries. I am excited to tell you he is now in jail for 6mos to a year and has surrendered his life to the Lord and is being discipled by a chaplain. We get letters almost daily and we are so encouraged with the revelation God is bringing to him and he is honest about his struggle with desire for the drugs but continues to pray and read the word. He shares that he knows God has called him into ministry. For along time I too felt as though this attack on our family was probably because of our being in the ministry and I know the enemy wanted to cause me to give up on the faith so he could win my son but praise be to God for giving me strength and grace to endure when I wanted to give up and now I am seeing what I believe to be fruit beginning to grow in his life. So mothers I encourage you to believe that those seeds you plant from infancy and on God will water and bring to harvest. We can't control the when and how of it. HE is the Master and the Gardener. I am so excited to hear Elisa in person. God bless you all and may you continue to persevere and run this race.