Making Ugly Beautiful
August 31, 2007 |
I just read a great news story: A woman raised over $7,000 for a local humane society by putting Michael Vick football cards, which had been chewed, slobbered, and generally destroyed by her dogs, for sale on eBay. I love this story for several reasons: 1.) I love dogs—particularly the “mean breeds” like pit bull terriers and Rottweilers (one of whom sits “purring” in his sleep at my feet); 2.) I hate dog-fighting and the “people” (monsters seems better) who participate in it even more than I hate puppy mills and the “people” who run them (as well pet stores who peddle the pups); 3.) I love anybody who supports her local animal shelter; and 4.) This woman is my kind of leader.
You know what I mean? The kind of woman who hears a story, sees an injustice, feels a pain, or gets dealt a blow, and instead of sitting back whining about it, says, “Huh. I can DO something about this.” And she does. She sees the ugly and tries to make it beautiful.
My friend Betty is this kind of woman.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 31, 2007 | Comments (4)
Why I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry
August 28, 2007 |
I really hate those “home parties.” You know, the ones where you go to someone’s house and hear about the latest gadgets, skin care products, or overpriced home décor. The hostess serves brownies and everyone talks about their kids and how busy they are. Then the sales representative stands up and gives a hyper-peppy presentation punctuated by polite gasps of delight from the women packed in the living room.
A few of the women get really giddy about the whole thing and start ordering everything that catches their eye. Some of them find just a couple of things they like, grab another brownie, and head home. I twitch uncomfortably and look for the least expensive item on the order form. I feel obligated to order something. After all, the hostess cleaned her house and made snacks for us, and if I don’t order she might not get her free “hostess gift.”
Posted by Amy Simpson on August 28, 2007 | Comments (73)
What Women Wish Pastors Knew
August 24, 2007 |
The purpose of my new book, What Women Wish Pastors Knew, is simple: “To help today’s pastor better understand women in the congregation so the pastor can better minister to them.”
My research included survey responses from women ages 18 to 92, working both at home and outside the home in numerous occupations, high school to Ph.D.-educated, married and single, with and without children/grandchildren, and from more than 30 denominations. My mailbox, and email box, were overwhelmed with an unexpected avalanche of responses! (I’m onto a new project: What Pastors Wish Church Members Knew. If you’d like to help your pastor share—confidentially—hopes, hurts, needs, and dreams with church members, email me at cdwg@aol.com and request a “Pastor’s Survey.”)
When I reported the survey responses to groups at the National Pastor’s Convention this past February, they listened eagerly, stated some shock at the findings, and pelted me with hard-hitting questions.
I knew I had hit a nerve.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on August 24, 2007 | Comments (17)
Responding to Emptiness
August 21, 2007 |
Where do you go when you feel low, empty, spent? When you feel beaten down by your circumstances or just by your day?
At nine months pregnant with our second child, I experience moodiness and exhaustion as norms in my life now. But of course, I have plenty of non-pregnancy-related experience in feeling down too. We all do; we’re human. And as women, we often experience our emotions fairly close to the surface—accentuated by a host of hormonal shifts that we encounter throughout much of our lives.
I’ve found that there are two contrasting responses that I and others often adopt when feeling empty or low—equally unhelpful and both, ultimately, of the Enemy.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 21, 2007 | Comments (7)
Food For Thought
August 20, 2007 |
Susan Perlman, associate executive director of Jews for Jesus and president of the board of the Interdenominational Foreign Mission Association of North America (IFMA), once asked Billy Graham, “If a woman feels the call to mission, is gifted for ministry and leadership, and comes up against a solid wall of resistance, what advice would you give her?” He said, “If God is leading her, she shouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 20, 2007 | Comments (11)
Embracing Dark Nights of the Soul
August 17, 2007 |
In his book, Dark Nights of the Soul, Thomas Moore speaks of both the mystery and necessity of the soul’s darkness. I don’t know about you, but my usual response to the dark is to switch on the biggest spotlight I can find. Yet, Moore reminds us that a life worth living (defined here as one that is changing ever more into the likeness of Christ) is full of barely-lit places. True transformation is nothing less than a deep alchemy, taking place in dim and murky places.
Read only a few of the Psalms, and you see this theme played out: Disorientation and doubt are gestational to faith. We may think that the certainty displayed in “leading the throng to God’s house” is the quintessential picture of conviction. But consider the trust displayed by the downcast and disturbed soul. Enveloped in a seemingly infinite expanse of questions, the uncertain pilgrim stretches forward to know and to see beyond herself. Beyond knowing. Beyond sight. Beyond the tangible. Just as darkness is the womb of being, so it is the beginning of faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 17, 2007 | Comments (11)
On the Outside Looking In
August 14, 2007 |
I have often pondered these two sets of verses—positioned almost as brackets at the beginning and end of Proverbs, a book that understands and describes wisdom as she:
"Wisdom cries out in the street; in the squares she raises her voice. At the busiest corner she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks?" (Proverbs 1:20-21)
"Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land...Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates." (Proverbs 31: 23, 31)
Given that there aren't many places in Scripture where that pronoun is used, particularly as reflective of God and God's character, it's worth paying attention to—and finding comfort in. Even so, I have been wont to discover it in these particular passages.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 14, 2007 | Comments (28)
The Black Hole of Fear
August 10, 2007 |
Within the past 12 months, I've been going around in my travels having casual conversations with groups of Christian women and asking them to list the women leaders they can think of who don't seem scared to them. No one ever answers immediately, except to say, "They're aren't any!" Typically it takes about 20 seconds before someone comes up with a serious suggestion.
So I clarified the question: "Can anyone think of a woman who leads both women and men in a sphere that isn't traditionally led by women and who doesn't seem afraid?"
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 10, 2007 | Comments (22)
What's Revealed in the Process
August 7, 2007 |
I am married to a jazz musician. I have to admit that there was a certain romantic notion swirling around the thought of life with an artist. We shared a love and study of music, albeit two very different styles. I was a classically trained pianist whose concept of jazz was limited to the elevator variety. He was a be-bop fanatic who thought the Eagles were a group of ball players in Philly. Needless to say, through the last few years we have contributed much to each other's musical universe, but it wasn't until my husband convinced me to study a little jazz piano that my creative world was really turned inside out.
Of course, my first thought was that playing jazz couldn't be that different from how I'd played music all my life. Give me the music and an hour and I'll give you one fabulous jazz piano performance. My husband would discreetly pull at his hair and then gently remind me that I was missing out on the essence of jazz music—that the beauty is in the journey. That sounded like sentimental musical hooey to me, so I would nod and then continue on in the way I secretly knew was best.
Perhaps I do not need to explain at this point why those jazz lessons contributed to not a few tense marital moments.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 7, 2007 | Comments (10)
The Sacrifice Survival Skills Require
August 3, 2007 |
Mariah is 13. She eschews Harry Potter for everything Tolkien. Just because. When her nose isn't in a book, she's mostly fused to her iPod, but can frequently be found playing the video game, Diablo.
She loves to draw. (Draws tattoos on her dog, Elle). Writes in her journal faithfully. Pages and pages. Avoids social situations as much as possible. Would rather observe than be observed, listen than talk. Seeks out quiet, secret places whenever she can. Has a few good friends, but mostly, Mariah is by herself.
She layers her clothes in odd pairings. Tube tops over tee shirts, skirts over leggings. Jewelry on rawhide. Orange is her favorite color.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 3, 2007 | Comments (8)
Food for Thought
August 1, 2007 |
Every Wednesday morning Toshiko Yamamoto takes a washbasin and towels to the roughest part of Vancouver, British Columbia. There she washes the feet of women at a drop-in center. Her clients are often infected with HIV or Hepatitis C. Their feet are sometimes dirty and covered with sores or needle marks. The women are almost always drug addicts who sell sex to pay for their next fix.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 1, 2007 | Comments (3)
