Ideas for Women's Ministry
September 28, 2007 |
Last month, I wrote an article about Why I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry. It sparked quite a conversation. Obviously, women have some strong feelings and opinions on how to do women’s ministry—and about their experiences in women’s ministry programs.
This conversation was so lively and challenging, I knew I had to write a follow-up post in the hope that it will generate some ideas for how we might make women’s ministries more effective.
Mostly, I’d like to hear your ideas. But in order to get this conversation started, let me share a few of my own:
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on September 28, 2007 | Comments (45)
Food for Thought
September 27, 2007 |
When we are alone, it’s easy to think, incorrectly, that we are spiritually advanced. I can watch a Hallmark commercial alone and find myself moved to tears. I tell myself that I am a very compassionate person. But when I spend time in community with a person who annoys me, it’s amazing how quickly I experience “compassion fatigue.”
In community we discover who we really are and how much transformation we still require. This is why I am irrevocably committed to small groups. Through them we can accomplish our God-entrusted work to transform human beings.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 27, 2007 | Comments (2)
Gossips Anonymous
September 25, 2007 |
A little while back, I learned a very juicy (and heartbreaking) tidbit of info. While I was dying to follow up with a “Why? What happened?” I didn’t. I simply said I’d pray for the people involved but wouldn’t talk about it anymore. And although immediately five friends sprang to mind who would LOVE to hear this tidbit, I didn’t call or email any of them. Not because I’m so righteous or so above gossip. Instead it’s because I’m so broken and am a gossip—albeit, one in “recovery.”
You see, a few years ago after working through a “fearless moral inventory” of myself, of all the bad things I am (jealous, materialistic, judgmental…) gossip really rose to the top (the cream of my sins, you might say) as something that eats at my soul and hinders my Christian life. While I was never the type of gossip who’d start rumors or betray a confidence, I certainly listened to rumors and to others betray confidences (thinking this was okay since the buck would stop with me. Which it did.) And I did my fair share of passing on “news” or sharing someone else’s unfortunate experience simply so I could dissect it with friends—thinking we did this only out of concern and love, of course. But all the while I got quite the rush out of all that “concern” and “love.”
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 25, 2007 | Comments (11)
Becoming Enough
September 22, 2007 |
Every organization has its dominant personalities. Some people simply have a need to control, whether it’s the direction of conversations, projects, or entire organizations. Often, these are people with well-above-average skills and intelligence, so they have a fair amount to contribute that is valuable. Their minds work like lasers, cutting through vast amounts of material in a single swipe. While others may be stuck cogitating in a cul de sac of minutia, bright dominants can be the ones who create new paths forward.
It can be frustrating to be around co-workers on the extreme side of dominance. They tend to control their image at all costs and continually offer up whatever they’ve accomplished for display. They also tend to take up a great deal of emotional space, leaving others with precious little. Having worked with plenty of extreme dominants, I’m also familiar with the feeling of loss: loss of voice, loss of confidence, loss of self. It’s as if big chunks fall away—sort of like an iceberg, sheering off its edges as the heat rises.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 22, 2007 | Comments (19)
Why Women Pastors Make More
September 21, 2007 |
1. If you want to earn more, change denominations.
Briefly, if you want to earn more as a senior pastor, become a Presbyterian. If you want to earn more as a youth pastor, become a Baptist.
Presbyterian senior pastors earned the most in our survey—their average salary plus housing/parsonage was $78,000—while Baptist senior pastors earned next to last--$67,000. But virtually the opposite was true for youth pastors. Baptist youth pastors earned near the top--$44,000 in salary plus housing—while Presbyterian youth pastors earned near the bottom--$36,000. Why?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 21, 2007 | Comments (4)
Working to Serve or Serving the Work?
September 18, 2007 |
We recently had a “worst or weirdest job ever” conversation among the adults in our Sunday school class at church. One friend had spent two years collecting umbilical cords for research (i.e. personally picking them up, packaging them, and taking them back to the lab in her car); another had worked the graveyard shift at a cherry-packing factory, quickly grabbing rotten cherries off the line…all night long.
My contribution to the discussion was one of my first jobs ever—a regular babysitting gig as a young teen. After several afternoons with the three kids and their “adorable” shih tzu named Buddy, I reported to my dad how cute it was that Buddy kept hugging my leg all the time. Needless to say, I nearly puked when my dad explained to me what all the “hugging” really was!
All joking aside, we all know from experience that sometimes work can feel frustrating, monotonous, exhausting, and unsatisfying. Whether you’re leading meetings in a board room or are at home washing dishes, your “work” consumes at least a third of your life.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 18, 2007 | Comments (11)
The Way of Wisdom: Truth of Womanhood
September 14, 2007 |
In August, I wrote about the black hole of fear. The following offers a way into the light:
Several insights of wisdom are helping me to steer away from fear and internal anxiety. One is the fact that I don’t need to fear if someone else feels threatened by me. I need to repent, of course, if I have sin that is threatening other people. But if I’m following God’s call and someone decides to protest against me, I can keep perspective by resting in the fact that truth itself is threatening. Sadly, some people in the church feel threatened by the truth of who women are. We are women! We are human! We are made in the image of God! We are ezers (helpers; Gen 2:18) designed to co-rule the earth with men! It’s predictable, then, that the truth of who we are is going to seem threatening to everyone who believes that it’s “not a woman’s place” to lead.
Another important insight that I like to hold onto is that womanhood is a gift from God. If any of us women ever feel ashamed of our femininity, that is, if we try to minimize our femininity by distancing ourselves from other women or by trying to legitimize ourselves by saying we’re “more like men,” then we have fallen into fear once again. It is not the way of wisdom to deny the truth of our womanhood.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 14, 2007 | Comments (17)
Looking at God from Ground Zero
September 11, 2007 |
We’re sleeping peacefully through the night again. Air travel may be fraught with long lines, delays, and inconveniences in the aftermath of 9/11. But once the cabin door slams shut and the plane rolls onto the tarmac, we’re back to reading books again, dozing off for in-flight naps, and laughing out loud over comedy re-runs. We’re no longer nervously assessing other passengers or having our blood run cold at every thump of turbulence or unfamiliar noise.
Sometimes a fading memory can be a blessing. Sleepless nights and fear of flying can be debilitating. Sometimes, however, fading memories take away too much from us. We may be feeling better. But have we timidly tiptoed away from important questions we’re supposed to be asking? Have we politely excused ourselves from wrestling with God when a smoldering Ground Zero compels us to engage?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 11, 2007 | Comments (3)
The Age of the Quiet Influencer
September 7, 2007 |
I was recently part of a think-tank discussion for a company launching a new product. One of the most compelling voices around the table was Doug: creative, master-mind in the resort industry. Manages scores of hotels and ski operations in the US and Canada.
From the get-go, Doug stood out. He seemed to occupy so little space (read: had one very intact ego.) He spoke in sound-bites, questions, and “what ifs.” But most of the time, he was listening. Intently. With eye-contact, slight nodding, open body posture. Whoever was speaking received Doug’s undivided attention. But it was the kind of attention that was comforting and scary at the same time. Because Doug had this way of keying into both ideas and the person behind the ideas: in a nano-second, he seemed to be able to size up what made you tick.
As the discussion progressed, there were disagreements, ranging from mild to heated. At a couple of points, the disagreements escalated to shouting matches across the table. I was curious to see what Doug saw—how he had translated those moments. After dinner on the second day, I was able to ask Doug his impressions of the skirmishes. He was characteristically laser-like but, more importantly, compassionate in his description of the individuals involved:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 7, 2007 | Comments (4)
Why Forgiveness Works
September 4, 2007 |
I once heard a boy brag about his father locking his mother in a room until she repented for “not being submissive.” He was my teammate on a teen mission trip to Venezuela. At 16, already harboring anger toward men, it was not what I needed to hear.
The church has not always championed women, and growing up, I suffered for it. Christian girls were supposed to be “gentle and quiet.” But, I wasn’t quiet. I had things to say—important things. How could I be docile when I had ambitions to change the world? This clash caused deep wounds that are still healing today. It also required me to forgive.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 4, 2007 | Comments (14)
