The Rise of the Postmodern Feminine: Part I
October 5, 2007 |
At five feet one, Laurel has never escaped the petite section at the local department store. But one thing is certain: Her faith does not match her dress size. Here is a woman who immerses herself in the Scriptures daily and who prays regularly for acquaintances, loved ones, unloved ones, and imperfect strangers. Laurel’s faith is plus size and growing.
At face value, Laurel would seem like the poster child for one of those large evangelical women’s conferences. The necessary trappings of conservative femininity are all there. At church, she wears over-the knee skirts that gather at the waist with bright but shapeless linen jackets. She’s devoted to her family. Most of all, she acts the part. At least on the outside, she evidences a quiet, diligent spirit and a comfort with “working behind the scenes.” In short, Laurel doesn’t seem to have anything, do anything, or say anything that calls attention to herself.
That trait alone would be enough to elevate her to sainthood in some religious circles. Feminine invisibility and inaudibility may have been the battleground on which millions of women fought over the last century, but those qualities remain prerequisites to acceptability in more churches than we would imagine.
Ironically, the real Laurel is hardly invisible or inaudible. Laurel’s late-night co-workers who stock the shelves at Target know her as a powerhouse of a woman. Not only is she a hydrant of comedy, but the way she invests time in her co-workers, Laurel’s lived spirituality makes the four spiritual laws sound like a multi-level marketing come-on. At 12:30 a.m., Laurel and Suzanne are doubling over in laughter about Suzanne’s Match.com disaster on Saturday night. At 2:25 a.m., Laurel hefts big boxes of laundry detergent onto her motorized cart and tries to help 26-year-old Jennifer figure out what to do about her autistic son’s latest bout. At 4:05 a.m., Laurel is stocking dog-food, engrossed in Bob’s tirade about his alcoholic wife. At 7:33, she’s punching out, heading to the pancake house for breakfast where the coffee, pancakes, teasing, guffaws, and conversation will be flowing non-stop. At 9:00 a.m., she’s driving home to have a last cup of coffee before her pastor-husband leaves for work. Maybe she’ll be able to catch a few hours of sleep before her grandson arrives at 3:30, but only after she checks out that quirky journal article on Kierkegaard she’s been waiting to read. She’s been a Kierkegaard fan since seminary days. Her seminary days.
In many ways, Laurel is an anomaly within American religion and most certainly, within evangelicalism. Ordained and newly planted in a rural/bedroom community, Laurel rejected a comfortable church job (her husband had secured a pastoral position only 20 miles away), striking out in ministry completely on her own. What could have been the picture-perfect scenario—“clergy couple pastors neighboring parishes”—became “middle-aged woman hangs out with Target misfits.”
It was more than just burnout and cultural analysis that propelled Laurel into her gutsy decision, however. It was a life-crisis of major proportions. The call came after midnight: Laurel’s daughter and one of her granddaughters had been found murdered, the result of a domestic fight. Her son-in-law had killed them both. One granddaughter survived. Laurel entered a darkness she’d never known—a careening, agonizing descent into unimaginable pain. After six months, Laurel began to share portions of her grief journal with friends: a few e-mail snippets, tendril-like, stretching out to connect with life. Those e-mails were forwarded to friends of friends, then onward to a conflagration of unknown but hurting recipients. What started as Laurel’s missives of private grief —her own brave step toward survival—became a lifeline for hundreds of people. She now writes an e-devotional sent across continents.
When the question is asked, “What is it to lead the church in the postmodern context?” and then, more specifically, “What is it for women to lead in the postmodern context?” it is hard to get around the refreshing, contrarian turns in Laurel’s journey. At base, the way she influences, whether at Target or through her e-devotional, is unapologetically organic. There are no top-down systems here, no grandiose, lone-ranger dreams, no mega-church blueprints. Rather, here is a woman, showing up with her full self, her full story, and in full presence—on the people’s turf and in the rhythm of their lives.
Her organic style of influencing is indeed radical. But it is Laurel’s persistence in working the cracks of life—far from the reach and drone of the institution – that is more radical still. If it is true that change comes from the fringe, then Laurel is living on the fringe of the fringe.
Sally Morgenthaler is a frequent speaker and writer, Christian educator, author of Worship Evangelismand other books, and innovator in Christian practices worldwide.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 5, 2007
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Comments
Does Laurel ever sleep, pray, read, go to the bathroom? When does she have time? And who has ever been in a comfortable church job? This babe is not real. So get real, please.
Posted by: Myrna on October 6, 2007
I think that too often, we restrict ministry to within the four walls of a church, or at least under its umbrella (when speaking of outreach). There is much to be said for the person who can live their faith. How many of us truly do that? Sounds like Laurel is someone I would like to meet!
Posted by: tana on October 6, 2007
I would like to meet Laurel, she sounds like a wonderfull woman. But she should be carefull that she's not going to do to much. If you don't have time for yourself, it will kill you.
Posted by: Angelique on October 8, 2007
i think it is hard for a lot of us to relate to laurel - not because she is a superwoman or doing way too much - but because we don't live our lives that way. it sounds like she is living full out for Jesus - and if that is what he has called her to (online devos and a night shift at target) then he will more than equip her and refresh her to do it...may i be brave enough to be obedient as she has...
Posted by: JPierce on October 8, 2007
So often women continue to try to find their 'niche' in the church political. What is clear is that 'we' are going about this whole understanding of identity in CHRIST the wrong way. I believe that Laurel has the right idea....ministry is a way of living, not just a 'pastoral position'....
Most of us have yet to be delivered from feminist thinking when it comes to our identity in the Body of CHRIST. When we all finally do 'get free' by the HOLY SPIRIT, separation of 'men's ministry', 'women's ministry', 'youth ministry' will become an anamoly. It will all be the ministry of the Gospel of JESUS CHRIST....the Only Ministry that counts.
Posted by: Helen Thomas on October 8, 2007
Laurel is very real, and I applaud her ministry for the kingdom. If a writer were to list our everyday activities like she did for Laurel, we'd all look like superwomen too. But, we're not. We're just everyday people trying to do as God called us.
Posted by: Patricia on October 8, 2007
Helen Thomas,
I would be interested to hear a further explanation on "When we all finaly do 'get free' by the HOLY SPIRIT, separation of 'men's ministry', 'women's ministry', 'youth ministry' will become an anomoly."
I am not sure what you mean by this.
Posted by: Joseph on October 8, 2007
I would hardly think that Laurel is doing too much. It's a normal thing to spend time with family, work, and do volunteer stuff on the side. Sounds great to me. You go girl! Be satisfied living fully in Christ!
Posted by: Donna on October 8, 2007
I was touched by Laurel's down to earth ministry through her vocation as a sales associate and stocker. I wonder what it is about the church that forces her to take on a whole different style? Why does it seem that the two sides of Laurel are essentially incongruent?
It seems to me that the expectations of church members for prim and proper people stifles the "real" side of those who enter into the world to bring God's Good News. It also stifles the influx of people who wish to come and worship a God who loves them as they are.
Will the real side of Laurel please stand up and be noticed...especially in the church!
Posted by: debmb1 on October 9, 2007
The concern that Laurel is doing too much is not for anyone else to determine. She is only doing too much IF she has taken on activities to which the Lord did not assign her. Our strength, our literal strength, comes from God. It always has and it always will. One reason we chickies don't have excuse for retiring because of whaever reason, age included. Also, the loss of and grief in losing children brings a person to a new level of reality; that life is indeed a transient thing and we must live it to the full because when the day is over we must have done all we could do; our rewards in Heaven and the Lord's "well done" depend upon it. "What is your life but a vapor that appears for a moment and then fades away?"
Yes, we gaurd ourselves by the Holy Spirit's counsel, but all that we need comes from Him ultimately. The assignment for one of us is not the assignment for each of us. We each one get our own marching orders.
Posted by: Ramona on October 9, 2007
I am so glad that someone else out there is thinking "out of the box". I am currently in seminary after having devoted 14 years as a Registered Nurse. Many people think I am leaving my career as an RN, but that is not where God wants me. I pray I am as brave as Laurel when I step out to do God's will.
Bravo Laurel! You are an inspiration :)
Posted by: Clarissa on October 9, 2007
Laurel brings her faith and ministry to work. By working with these people, she is able to relate, develop relationships, and build trust with people she might not otherwise be in contact with. She provides real-time ministry to them. What a blessing she is to them!
Posted by: Nancy Branton on October 9, 2007
when i went to Bible college, the last page of my application form asked me to explain my long-term ministry goals. i am not and have never been called to evangelism, and have not been given the gift. i have never been called to social ministries (ie. inner-city, AA, etc.). what i have been blessed with abundantly is a good imagination, a head for problem solving, and skill with my hands - and so i put down that my long-term ministry goals were to work in some sort of artist's studio and minister to the other artists through friendship and example. now, i am a Bible college-schooled, technically trained full-time glassmaker, working in an intimate setting where teamwork is key and relationships are easily forged through the common ground of our work, as our team celebrates successful pieces, helps each other shrug off mistakes, and relax with a beer after a good day's work. i come home from the shop face smuged with ash and reeking with sweat, burnt smells, and chemical fumes.
and yet, people who don't know me see me, like laurel, as the poster child for conservative (read: stuffy and unpleasant) Christianity. i have fairly conservative doctrinal views. i am happily married, and enjoy cooking for my husband, and look forward to making a family with him one day. i am pro-life, don't celebrate homosexual unions, and still aren't sure how i feel about egalitarianism. and yet, i am a full-fledged member in good standing of an artistic community most commonly associated with free-thinking hippies and radicals who make bongs and preach that there's no such thing as truth - and know some folks like that, and am friends with them.
and it is hard serving Christ there, when my nature wants to be that free-thinking, potty-mouthed hippie, and all my mistakes serve to reinforce my peers' negative opinions about people of faith! i don't think enough people realise how hard it is to live in ministry outside of a Christian ministry setting.
Posted by: Dana on October 10, 2007
Wow...her seminary days ? Pastor's wife ? working at Target? hugh.
All the women who clamor for womens ministry should read this one. Go figure.
I'm sure in their eyes she's second rate now.
Posted by: Dana on October 13, 2007
Dana from Oct. 13, I'm having trouble understanding your comment. what do you mean by 'clamoring for women's ministry' and 'second rate'?
Posted by: Dana from Oct. 10 on October 16, 2007
i lift my hat off to people like laura- this is what christ did when he came down to us. he walked amongst the people , others would not associate with. I pray god give us the eyes to see this.
Posted by: odete gomes on November 4, 2007
what i think is most interesting, is the wide variety of responses here... i have not read all of these, but of all the articles i have read, this one seems to have provoked the most wide ranging responses... i think that is a commentary in itself!
Posted by: bonnie on November 10, 2007