Leading After Failed Change
November 13, 2007 |
It was Saturday and I was at home. So I was a little puzzled when I answered the doorbell to find the church’s office manager dropping by. It was near Easter, and she had used the excuse of bringing some homemade treats over for my family as her reason to make the half-hour drive to my house. But there was more.
She also came by to let me know that she had found a job at another church and would be leaving her position in two weeks. We were good friends, and she wanted to be able to tell me in person, not over the phone or email. I thanked her for that, wished her well, closed the door, and sat down on the steps in shock. This was the sixth resignation from our small church’s staff in five months. We were down to just two—myself and our youth director.
Two-and-a half years earlier, our leadership team had sought long and hard for ways to become more accessible to our community to be able to share the Gospel beyond the walls of the church. We implemented several significant program changes—all with the best of intentions, but with distressingly horrific results. The church fractured. Many people left. Eventually our pastor resigned. The overarching hard lesson learned by me during this time was that leadership, myself included, tried to change too much too fast, and we lost the trust, heart, and integrity of our church.
It seems there are volumes of literature written on how to lead change, through change and with change. But I am aware of very little available instructing how to lead after change—especially change that failed. How do you shepherd a flock after nearly blowing up the church?
An interesting thing about leading after failed change is that you still have the same two major people groups present—albeit less of them—that you had when you started: those who were gung ho about the changes and are drawn to visionary ideas, and those who were leery and prefer the status quo. Only now, both groups are discouraged, disheartened, and grieving. And both are waiting to see what will happen next. The first group, the visionaries, are waiting to see if leadership will regress, go back to “how it’s always been” and lose the missional focus. The second group, the cautionaries, are waiting to see if leadership is going to try it again, be “all about church growth” and forsake the heart of the community.
It’s a delicate situation. How do you rebuild trust with both groups without indulging either? How do you lead strongly a wounded flock? Or do you? Maybe the best plan would be to call in a ministry hospice advisor and simply close the doors for good. What would honor Christ best in this situation?
When things get complicated, my tendency has been to fall back on what I know to always be the will of God - love God and love others. And so, that’s where we started. I challenged the church to do two things as soon as possible: pray and invite.
Pray for God’s will for our church to be done. For him to remove any and all obstacles to his will being done. And to resist telling God what his will is.
And second, to invite. To commit to inviting one other person from church either out for coffee or over for a meal sometime in the next 30 days—because somewhere along the line we forgot to take care of one another. No. Worse. We made caring for one another secondary or somehow wrong. We sacrificed the beauty of gathering in Christ’s name for the goal of "scattering." Our hearts longed for God’s kingdom to come to our greater community. Instead we lost the community he had called us to be. By committing to prayer and invitation, we intentionally submitted ourselves to God’s purposes and plans.
And he met us there. We had to lean into our healing, participate in it. We had to rebuild trust, on multiple fronts. It was hard work and a painful season. But it was fertile, and God brought life from it.
Recently, we’ve hired a new pastor. Our challenge now is to figure out how to move forward together. Still missional, still called to be sent, but with a greater appreciation of the community we are called to be together.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 13, 2007
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Comments
Leading through change is definitely not simple. I've been reading a terrific book by Gardner, called Changing Minds. It could be excellent reading for any group about to embark on a path of change. Or, if change has come and gone in a tumultuous way, it might be a place to begin to evaluate what happened and how to move forward in the wake of difficulty.
Posted by: L.L. Barkat on November 13, 2007
Adie,
Sounds like you are heading in a good direction.
As a word of encouragement, God uses our shattered dreams to draw us nearer to Him. This is so important because in our pain our spiritual ears are more acute to hearing from God.
So rather than look at what has transpired as a "mistake" you can individually and collectively gather to thank God for this opportunity to recognize once again how sovreign He is and how dependent upon Him and His intervention in our lives we are. It's good to know that in God's sovreignty, we can depend upon His everlasting loving kindness and direction.
Posted by: Doreen Pettit on November 15, 2007
I've been thinking about this on and off since I read it. It is close to home because I was in such a church and we left and the church eventually dissolved. At least you can afford to keep going and still pay staff.
Perhaps it isn't about "leading strong". Perhaps it is looking at who is left after all the sifting, and embracing them as your new family. Today's generation don't want to be told what to do or what you think is a good idea (ie. leading strong). They want to be part of the process. It means inviting them to develop the church into what they are sensing from God.
It should also mean for you and the new pastor to not step into the middle of ongoing arguments. On one hand it takes wisdom to remind people to follow the Scriptural outline for settling offences, but on the other hand after trauma, people need to "be heard" in order to move on with their grief. So providing a safe place individually might be important for that. Being heard means listening, not becoming defensive at all.
Servant leadership comes to mind for the rest, as you are hired by them, while appointed by God. But, remember when Jesus washed the disciple's feet, he told them they didn't need an entire bath. He set a boundary by only doing so much and expecting they could take care of the bathing themselves.
Loving, engaging in participation, and not looking back except to learn from errors, but moving forward is all good.
Does any of this make any sense?
Posted by: Rosalie on November 17, 2007
Yes, Rosalie. It all makes sense. In a short article like this, all the details can't be told, but we have done multiple things to give people a voice, a place to be heard, and a place to heal. I think perhaps I would define "leading strong" differently than you are. To me, leading strong means choosing how leadership would respond to the situation. It was never a question of embracing those still here, but how to do that. What would be most supportive and healthiest.
Posted by: Adie Johnson on November 19, 2007
Here I am in a church that was supposed to be healthy and I find that the committees don't function and there has been actual sabatoge by the previous secretary. Not only that but 2 of the pillars have died in the last year and a half. Some people are grieving, others are oblivious.
I am hoping to lead a specific grieving service and look to a new beginning in January. Some are ready for change others are still in denial.
One of the hard changes is that I am the first woman pastor. I arrived 4 months ago. I think long term that will be fine. Now I am trying to stop the destructive criticism, but that will be hard. at least 2 people are fighting against the time needed to enter a new situation. I should have "known it all yesterday."
I want to keep my focus on Jesus. I want to keep my prayer time up for wisdom and inspiration.
comments?
Posted by: Patsy MO on November 20, 2007
I can somewhat relate to this situation. Our congregation was distroyed by our pastor about a year and a half ago. Now we have a new one, but it has been very hard for everyone that has stayed. Before the new pastor arrived we struggled with everyone wanting to be in charge and getting into everything going on. Our congregation went from about 200 people to about 70. We are still struggling because with this new pastor we have his trying his best to get thing straight, but he lets others influence him on alot of the choices.
He says he has talked to some of the people that still like to get into everything but we have not seen any changes. I myself was the Women's Ministry Leader at the time and now I am the Secretary for the Women's Ministry. And I do thank God for him in my life and the choices made. But we still need to continue to grow in the Lord and seek him more everyday. Alot of the members sometimes show up for service and meetings and at other times don't even want to be called or visited.
Posted by: Norma on November 21, 2007
As a participating member of a church with a "divide" I have to say that allowing for a way/place to grieve and be heard is huge! This is the first time in my life I've been part of something like this, and it has really shaken my faith in leaders. We are now in a new church, but I find myself doubting whether or not these new guys have a clue (and we are all kinda new - it's a church plant with elder leadership...which is something new in itself to me) or if they are unwilling to listen to advice like the old church's leaders.
I am afraid to speak up too often with my ideas b/c I don't know how much of my "idea" is reaction from the past and fear of being hurt again. Being able to really be heard and understood would help me move forward with more confidence...so I encourage you all to see the hurt behind the angry words you may encounter (with God's help!)
Posted by: Mrs Ruz on November 23, 2007