Beth,
I've never heard of you. You should be able to find a church where you just be.

We perpetuate the myth of perfection and then expect people to treat us otherwise? Interesting. As speakers, writers and ministers we always want to put the best foot forward but we need to let people know we are on the journey of faith with them. We may be at a different place in the journey but we, like them, face difficulties and experience doubt, anger, fear and a whole list of other emotions. We must deal with these emotions and situations the same way they will -- using the Word and faith and what we've learned along the way. We're not professional Christians, we're experienced.

It helps if we have dealt with our issues and learned to balance life before we put ourselves out there for all to see and hear.

We can open ourselves up to our church community once we've taken off the masks and come to terms with our own identity and value. Being vulnerable and transparent is freeing and contagious once you get used to it. Keep it up. What do you have to lose but false perceptions?

It makes no difference, whether you’re a house hold name or not, every soul is precious in the sight of God. Now, how other people view that is another matter. However, everyone is entitled to be who God created and purposed them to be. No one is insignificant. Everyone has a job to do and a place to abide in Christ. Some just get there sooner than others usually after going through a challenging process of personal acceptance of God’s will for their own life.

We live in a society that promotes individuality, but most often the pressure is to conform to a fish bowl mentality where all the fish look and act identical and carefully swim in such a way as to not cause any waves or ripples. So its easy to see why individuals may find resistance to “just being “ as they “grow in grace”…II Peter 3:18.

"It helps if we have dealt with our issues and learned to balance life before we put ourselves out there for all to see and hear. "
Angela, I agree with you to a degree. I think leaders often become leaders because they've done this. However, the faith journey is not a linear one. We may deal with our issues and learn to balance life...and then, wham!, something really hard happens and threatens that (a death, a divorce, a move, depression, a rebellious child). No leader will make it from start to finish without struggling (David, anyone?) The long faith walk of a lifetime will have many twists and turns and will go uphill and down.
So what are we to do -- as leaders -- when our road of faith is in the pits? What are we to do when we struggle daily to just believe? To be joyful? To stay afloat?
Is there a place in the role of leader to struggle with those things? Will anyone allow it? And who can we trust to talk to about it when we do?
And throw in the added pressure of finances when your leadership role is your vocation. Can you really trust anyone with those core struggles when your job is on the line -- because it is inextricably tied to your faith?
So I'll ask it again: can a leader honestly be honest about faith struggles? Will the church support him or her through it and anticipate the leader's faith walk to crest a hill again...or will they leave the leader for dead, alone in the valley?

I agree with you Mia. Life is not linear and major struggles will happen. I've been there struggling through major crises. And there will be more in the future. It's a part of life.

There are no guarantees about how a church will respond to a leader's faith struggles. It may depend upon our relationship with them and their spiritual maturity.

There are some leaders who give the impression that they have it all together and have arrived at super spirituality. There are others who are transparent about their struggles along the way. Which do you think will have the support of their church?

If we're struggling daily to "just believe" then we really do need to ask for support. We need to find someone we can be honest with and humbly ask for help. Maybe it should be another leader in whom we have built a trusting relationship. The body of Christ is interdependent which means we need one another. Or, it may have to be a counselor who doesn't even know us -- someone bound to confidentiality.

There are some Christian agencies who have people who will minister to spiritual leaders. Emerge Ministries in Ohio is one of those.

It is difficult to trust, especially when rejection, betrayal or disloyalty is part of the problem. Sometimes having no one forces us to go to God alone. We can pray and trust God.

No easy, pat answers but I Corinthians 10:13 is true --"but God is faithful..."

You may find "Leading with a Limp" by Dan Allendar interesting reading.

Thanks Beth, for this wonderful message. It really spoke into my heart. Whilst I am not in any way a high profile church member or high profile in my community I am currently doing a Network course at my church and as part of it needed to identify my spiritual gift/s. It came out that my gifts are those of encouragement and mercy - wonderful gifts to have but really scary when you feel that also need encouragement in your own Christian walk. Your message has shown me that God can use me just as I am and that in the process of encouraging others I in turn will find the encouragement I need.
Thanks so much for this article!

Beth--
I too have nearly drowned in the fishbowl. I have several books (Move Over, Victoria--I Know the Real Secret and When He Doesn't Believe to name two) AND I write a weekly faith column in the local newspaper, which makes me a mini-celebrity in my community.
My ego loves being recognized, but I cringe every time someone approaches me in the market and asks, "Are you Nancy Kennedy?" and then goes on to gush and fawn.
Even though I write the truth, that sometimes I want to quit Jesus and sell vacuum cleaners door to door, people think of me more highly than they ought, and that terrifies me--I don't want to disappoint them.
People don't want to be disappointed by us, either. Sometimes at church I sit and pray to be invisible.
Thank you for this column. I know exactly how you feel.

Beth,
There is so much truth in what you write, yet so much heartbreak. One area I struggle with as I dream of having my first book published and becoming a conference speaker is the area of recongnizability. I enjoy my go-to-the-store-in-sweats-and-messy-hair life, but I so desire to "Make it Real" to women around me. I know that I have an authentic message, a message that will debunk myths and lies, but at what cost to my family? So, I wait, and work, and pray, and take small time recognizability as learning ground.
Keep it Real- women need and want it today- we've become disenchanted with the appearance of having it all together!

I can relate to what you felt, many times we just need to go in and just " let them see behind the curtain" (yours). I had to do that, they received me with open harms.
They now are learning a side of me that is different than they expected.
Yvonne

I know what you are talking about. I have been there, maybe not on the scale you are talking about, but I have been there.

Its hard, but I have come to terms with the fact that this is the life that God has called me to. Its that simple, and it helps me accept it all.

wow. interesting. i get annoyed with 'secular' celebrities that complain about being noticed when it was their dream to be known. I question whether Christians were ever meant to be 'famous'. I too am recognized in my church and around town for having a teaching ministry. I find it confusing, especially since i am so candid in my teaching. however, i have never felt like i had to 'put up a good face' in public any more than anyone else. We all have struggles and pain in our lives. I find it kind of arrogant to think our church experience is different than anyone else's. everyone has days when they wish they were invisible, areas where they feel misunderstood. i don't think it's because you have been published that you feel defensive. it's our normal egos in need of Jesus.