Bold Forgiveness
August 26, 2008 |
The last place we expect to get hurt is within the family of God. We assume church people are safe people. But, hurt comes with church leadership. When it happens, the wounds it brings can quickly become a breeding ground for bitterness.
Bitterness can become a gnarly vine that chokes our souls. It poisons our hearts and actions. Scripture says we and others will pay a great price if it is left unchecked (Hebrews 12:15).
What’s a Christian to do? When we are wronged, justice demands that someone pay for the wrong. We know that the Lord wants us to forgive. But how can we handle the tension between justice and forgiveness?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 26, 2008 | Comments (4)
Tentative or Extravagant Hope
August 22, 2008 |
[S]he who has never hoped, can never despair.
--George Bernard Shaw
It seems we can’t have one without the other—hope and despair. But truth-be-told, we don’t want that package deal. We’re afraid to hope precisely because we do not want to know despair, pain, suffering, disappointment. We work to keep our hearts intact and (hopefully) despair-free. This kind of tentative hope though, has profound impact—on our identity, our relationships, and our actions.
Tentative Identity. Have you noticed how much easier it is to name your sins, failings, and deficiencies, than your beauty, talent, and desire. We dare not speak with hope about or for ourselves. It’s self-centered and presumptuous, isn’t it? So we compromise. We tone ourselves down. We rarely acknowledge our deepest longings because they create potential for disappointment. We can’t dare to believe that we can be, offer and do so much more. We still hope, sort-of, but only tentatively.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 22, 2008 | Comments (1)
When Yes Means No
August 19, 2008 |
Remember the song Ado Annie sings in Rogers and Hammerstein’s musical Oklahoma? “I Can’t Say No”? Some of the lines go like this: “I'm jist a girl who cain't say no; I'm in a turrible fix. I always say, ‘Come on, let's go,’ jist when I orta say nix!” The song’s about relationships, or physical intimacy more specifically, but I think a lot of women who don’t have a problem saying no to men can identify with Ado Annie’s dilemma because we also like to say yes. We say yes to other things, though: yes to people, to church, to responsibility, to requests for favors, to real and imagined needs.
It feels good to say yes because it feels good to be needed, and it feels even better to be able to respond to those needs.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 19, 2008 | Comments (6)
I Had an Affair
August 18, 2008 |
We drove into the Rocky Mountains to a small retreat center. With our hopes high and our hearts still aching, we entered the weekend eager to heal. The days included group meetings where volunteer couples modeled good communication skills, then gave us a topic to discuss. Throughout the weekend Allen and I rehashed recent events, talked about the kids, money, forgiveness, and our future. We were able to break through some walls of hardness and spent a lot of time crying, laughing, and holding each other.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on August 18, 2008 | Comments (2)
The Fine Line Between Passion and Idolatry
August 15, 2008 |
If I say, “vegetable farm,” do you think, “passion”? My friend Michelle does. She’s a P.R. consultant to a prominent company, and her husband is an engineer. But responding to God’s call, they’re trading in their jobs and corporate incomes to take over her family’s vegetable farm. She loves whole foods, natural living, cooking – a perfect fit. It’s a great example of how God can use and work through our passions for his purposes.
In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren defines passion as the “bundle of desires, hopes, interests, ambitions, dreams, and affections you have… what you love to do and what you care about most.”
Our passions are customized gifts to us from God. We feel alive and fulfilled when we engage in them. And through them, we meet and revel in God. When we embrace our passions and live them out well and to God’s glory, we display him to the world. And conversely, ignoring or minimizing our passions disserves God, ourselves, and the people in our lives.
But what about when we O.D. on our passions?
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 15, 2008 | Comments (3)
"God, Rock The Summit"
August 12, 2008 |
This year's roster at Willow Creek's Leadership Summit conference includes an impressive lineup of leaders from both the ministry and secular business realms. Pastors John Burke and Efrem Smith, and Bill George (current Harvard Business prof and former CEO of Medtronic Inc.) spoke yesterday, as (of course) did Bill Hybels. Today we heard from Craig Groeschel and Chuck Colson, and later from Brad Anderson, vice-chairman and CEO of Best Buy. But for my money, the two most challenging and inspiring presenters were relative unknowns--two women who lead small but incalculably influential organizations.
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on August 12, 2008 | Comments (4)
Letting Mother Mary Be
August 8, 2008 |
The house was perfect. The four-bedroom tract house in a kid-friendly subdivision was what our family needed. I loved the retro-feeling kitchen with the big window that looked out at the backyard, and our children were thrilled that the chain-link fence all but guaranteed them a dog.
The one thing that concerned me was the three-foot concrete statue of Mother Mary standing in the overgrown flowerbed in the back of the property. Don’t get me wrong, I like Mother Mary. My Catholic upbringing taught me to respect her and, before I became Protestant, pray the rosary. I just never imagined her concrete likeness standing in the middle of my Black-eyed Susans.
After negotiating price and repairs with the sellers, we happily approached our moving date. But we left the closing table in tears when, as we sat across from Joseph and Jouella, the former owners, we realized that our new home signified a beginning for us and an ending for them.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 8, 2008 | Comments (40)
Ethnic Blends
August 8, 2008 |
When a position becomes available in most churches, leaders tend to contact those they know and trust for names of those they'd recommend for the job. The people we contact and those they recommend are, more often than not, people just like us in ethnic, economic, and educational background.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on August 8, 2008 | Comments (1)
Surprised by the 'Old Guard'
August 6, 2008 |
As the daughter of academics I was encouraged to be a free-thinker, especially when it came to God. My parents were not afraid of questions because their faith was so strong in the One who gives answers. Yet I lived (and still do) a paradoxical life: A home life of free-thinking and free-discussion amongst a community of “don’t rock the boaters”—the Old Guard of evangelical tradition.
Amidst the Old Guard of evangelicalism, when I came out of Wheaton College in 1992, there was a group who left appreciating our evangelical roots, and willing to think bigger. One of my friends became the religious editor for the Chicago Sun Times. Another friend founded a church. It grew to over 10,000 people assembling each Sunday in less than a year—and is still going strong. This friend also started a not-for-profit, making short films with this ‘new’ take on Christianity. As a woman with leadership skills and a call to ministry this new direction for evangelicalism was very exciting.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 6, 2008 | Comments (15)
Developing a Business Plan and Strategy
August 4, 2008 |
In identifying your weaknesses, include what you need emotionally. Due to my background, I don’t handle rejection well. I don’t have a natural sales personality. I don’t have a deep emotional reservoir and criticism causes me to crater on the inside. I do not have a bold personality where I naturally fight for my rights. I tend to back away from conflict because assertive or aggressive people scare me. One thing I desperately needed was someone on my board who would peel me off the ground every time I felt flattened by someone’s criticism. I needed someone who would encourage me to get back in the saddle when thrown off. God blessed me with such a person. She reminded me to see myself through God’s eyes. Her encouragement helped to reshape my self image. I strategically picked her to help me through my emotional weakness.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on August 4, 2008 | Comments (2)
Feeling Like a Big Nothing
August 1, 2008 |
It’s happened more than once during the course of a conversation. Somehow, we get to the topic of “formal education” and next we’re talking about the Masters degree my husband earned. Discovering that he has one is always of great interest, and after the usual questions as to what subject it’s in and from which graduate school it came from, etc., etc., everyone within earshot of the conversation looks very pleased to have learned about it. It’s as though the listeners discovered yet another reason to like my husband just a little bit more than they did moments ago.
What most people won’t learn during that same conversation is this little secret: I have a Masters degree too. If Steve doesn’t proudly offer the information out (thanks, Steve!), it’s rare that people will ask about it.
I’m not entirely sure why. I imagine that there’s the great fear that Steve married the only female from his generation who flunked Kindergarten and wants nothing to do with “book-learnin’.” How awkward would that discovery be? The smiles would melt off their faces, and they’d have to start pitying Steve for his degree instead of being happy for him. Maybe that’s why no one asks.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 1, 2008 | Comments (14)
