Leading in the Lands of the Free
My seven-year-old son is on a freedom kick. Whenever we talk about a country (and this is often, since he and my five-year-old daughter are also on geography kicks), he’ll ask: “Do they have freedom there?”
I love that he asks this. Because when the answer is “yes” it gives us an opportunity to talk about what cool things and amazing opportunities freedom allows people in whatever free country we’re talking about. And when the answer is “not really” or “really limited” we talk about the injustices and oppression and the horrors lack of freedom brings about.
While this certainly isn’t the most cheery mom-and-kid talk, I think these conversations are among the most important I have with my kids. I want them to grow up understanding how precious the freedom we enjoy in our country (which is, by the way, the U.S.)—how historically and geographically rare it is. I want them to understand it and appreciate it because I believe that the luxurious freedoms we enjoy falls under the “jurisdiction” of Jesus’ words: “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required” (Luke 12:48).
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 30, 2009 | Comments (1)
Weary of the Gender Wars
I grew up in the faith while “Onward Christian Soldiers” was still regularly sung at church. However, due to the Viet Nam War, it lost its appeal as we were bombarded with the images of war on the nightly news. I learned very quickly that war is costly: two members of my church youth group were killed within months of each other.
Then, through my reading of Scripture and the teaching I sat under, I came to understand that when I accepted Christ as my Savior, I entered a spiritual war against the forces of evil. I could expect persecution and rejection on many different levels. I accepted this as part of the cost of following the Lord Jesus. What I didn’t know then, and would not come to understand until years later, was I also had been conscripted into a battle within the church that has now come to be known as the “Gender Wars,” the women-in-ministry debate.
In the June 2008 issue of Christianity Today (GFL’s sister publication), a pair of articles were published under the title, “Wounds of a Friend,” one addressing complimentarians ; the other, egalitarians. Because I am in vocational ministry, these articles drew my attention---either because of a sadistic curiosity to see what’s being said about women like me or an eternal hope that perhaps the discussion might change.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 26, 2009 | Comments (10)
How to Take a Compliment
While checking my children into the nursery at church last week, an acquaintance of mine approached. “Susan, this is who I’ve been telling you about!” she exclaimed, pulling her friend behind her. She turned to me with a big smile. “I’ve been telling Susan all about you, how you’re so good at speaking. You are the best teacher!”
I froze, not sure what to say. She continued, “I don’t know how you do it all, with all you do at church, and your kids are so well-behaved and you are so thin!” I smiled and coughed out a “ha…” Inside, I was cringing. I knew she meant well, but I felt incredibly awkward. I ran through some of my possible responses:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 19, 2009 | Comments (11)
Leaders Should Consider Twitter
Though it’s been around for three years, Twitter hit the main stage of American culture when Oprah decided to write her first tweet. Though the site was excelling before the Oprah nod, more people are on Twitter today than ever before. So why should you consider signing up?
1. By Signing Up for Twitter, You Can Avoid the Blank Stares. In our modern age, there are some products, people, and Internet sites that everyone seems to know about. For example, most of us have heard of ShamWow and the Snuggie even if we don’t own them. It’s hard to check out from the grocery story without learning the latest about Brangelina (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie) and more recently the sad news of Kate and Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8. There are just some things that everyone knows about, so go ahead and add Twitter to your list. It will take you less than three minutes to open a free account and send your first tweet of 140 characters or fewer. That’s right: You only get a sentence or two. Then, when someone asks you if you know about Twitter, you can offer more than a blank stare—you can give them give them a warm smile and an invitation to follow your tweets.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 16, 2009 | Comments (17)
Wondering Why We're Sent
When I walk into a roomful of strangers, I engage in what is, at best, a self-imposed test in discernment; at worst a superficial gamble. I scan the women to whom I will be speaking and instinctually begin an imprecise version of memory, flipping cards in a lame attempt to match the earnestness of their smiles with the state of their souls. I do it with pretense, albeit pretense with an asterisk. Pretense: I want to know their stories. Asterisk: I want to know their stories to know if I’ll hit my mark. I toss God a prayer: Okay, You sent me here, now show me why.
Then I wait.
But at a recent event, he didn’t answer. Or so I thought.
Several of us were chatting easily over dinner, typical mom small talk—number of kids, gender, ages—when a card was flipped and the match was breathtakingly unexpected.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 12, 2009 | Comments (7)
Leading Through Downsizing
I’m an old pro at downsizing. It’s true.
While the rest of the world has watched recent events with anxiety at the possibility of losing their job, I’m quite familiar with this life of uncertainty. A veteran of the textile industry for 15 years, I’ve spent the last five watching the companies I’ve worked and cared for slowly shrink into oblivion. It’s been difficult. It’s been unpleasant. But, it’s been a learning experience like no other.
As one of the few Christians in my workplace, I often found I took a special outlook on the situation that kept me calm and gave me the ability to calm the storm in others. Not that I didn’t get angry. I did. Not that I didn’t get unnerved. I did. But at the end of each round of layoffs or downsizing (and there were many), I was able to step away from the situation with a larger view than most. Even when I fell into the crosshairs, at the core I knew that I would be okay.
I found that being a leader during times such as these were a very different challenge than leadership needed during other times. The type of leadership that leans on Christ more than ever before. The kind of leadership that presents the opportunity to show the love of Christ to people who are desperately searching for something to hold onto. The kind of leadership for which you will one day be proud.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 29, 2009 | Comments (1)
Sotomayor, Sexism, and the Supreme Court
When I was in sixth grade, a classmate told me that his dad told him that a woman could never be president because she’d “get all PMSy and probably ‘push the button’ in one of her mood swings.” This was in 1983, so that button she’d push was the “nuclear-war starting” button we all imagined on the big red phone next to the president’s bed. I ended up hearing this argument more than one time in the course of my coming of age.
This was one of several comments I heard growing up that at once sickened and angered me—and definitely shaped the way I felt about women in leadership. Thanks to the truths my parents fed me, even at a young age, I recognized these comments to be sexist and ridiculous—and totally out of whack with how God equipped women and who God made women to be.
So throughout my life, I’ve cheered any time a glass ceiling has been shattered. Any time a woman has made it to where no woman made it before. When this happened in the political realm, I’ve cheered on and celebrated women on both sides of the aisle. Though I DO have a definite political preference and do not vote simply on gender, I still find myself rejoicing under the glass shards.
So I was ready to celebrate once again when I heard President Obama’s nomination of Hon. Sonia Sotomayor as a Supreme Court justice. While she wouldn’t be the first woman on the court, as the mother of a Latina, I’m always thrilled for new role models for my daughter (and sons) who share part of their Latin heritage.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 27, 2009 | Comments (20)
Who Do You Follow?
I don’t often have a strong reaction one way or the other to people’s Twitter updates—or “Tweets”—but this one from a friend of mine got me. He wrote: “Twitter is one of the few places where you need to be a good leader & follower at the same time—a unique dynamic.”
Huh?
I thought about this throughout the rest of the day—because I couldn’t disagree more. One of the few places? Totally unique? I have a hard time coming up with places where a good leader doesn’t also have to be a good follower! I mean, how often do leaders lead at the top—in a vacuum—with no one or thing to follow? Old-world kings and new-world dictators come to mind. But even presidents and prime ministers have to follow something—the rule of law, a constitution, a code of ethics (we hope), the wisdom of advisors, perhaps the will of the people.
While good leaders certainly do need to be able to “take the reigns,” “put down the hammer,” or let “the buck stop” with them and while good leaders are often called to step out, go places, or do things on their own (or ahead of others), I think the best leaders are always good followers.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 26, 2009 | Comments (2)
Sometimes We Do Get It Right
At Gifted for Leadership, we spend a lot of time griping about women's ministry. And I don't necessarily mean "griping" in a negative way - most of the discussions we have are constructive. We've simply been burned by the traditional systems and are looking for better ways to foster true discipleship and community in the lives of women beyond surface-level social gatherings. When we see healthy examples of these values, then, we figure we'd better share them with you.
I went on my church's women's retreat last weekend. I surprised myself by attending. I wasn't going to go, but my friend was leading worship and she asked me to come and sing with her, so I agreed. I don't know why I was so reluctant. I went through a mental checklist. Let's see? Do I love my church? Check. Do I love the women in my church? Check. Do I love retreats? Check. So, what was my problem?
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on May 12, 2009 | Comments (7)
Unearthing Potential
By the time I was in kindergarten, I knew I was different. Not only did I stand several inches shorter than my classmates, but at 4 years of age I was also a full year younger. It was risky for my parents to send me to school so early, but they made their decision based on the potential they (and others) saw in me.
As I reflect back on that decision now, I realize my parents were putting an important leadership principle into action - "a good leader must learn to unearth potential in others." Much like Jesus saw potential in a common fisherman, a ruthless tax collector and a self-righteous Pharisee; we too must learn to look beneath the surface of what ?is' and help people explore - unearth - what could be.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 8, 2009 | Comments (9)
Grooming Leaders
"And then," the student continued, "The professor interrupted me in the middle of my presentation. He totally didn't take me seriously." My colleague and I looked at each other.
"He might . . ." I paused and began again. "You . . ." I looked at her, wrangled my courage and spit it out. "I wonder if your outfit was subliminally causing him not . . . um . . . to take your presentation seriously." She looked at me, surprised.
"You do look a little like you're going to a party," my colleague commiserated, nodding at the large flower in her hair.
"And it's cute," I said, "But inappropriate for a presentation."
Aspiring leaders long to be taken seriously. Sometimes - in some circles - we can't do much to make this happen. But we can try.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 1, 2009 | Comments (10)
Whos Afraid of Critical Women?
A few weeks ago, I got an email from a woman who had had reviewed my book on her blog. While she had mostly good things to say about it, she took issue with one of my first chapters (on the ways motherhood changes a woman). So, she graciously invited me to respond to her critiques.
So I went to her post, read the review, and starting mulling over my response to her. She had raised some good points, offered some valid arguments. And although she didn't sway me, she did make me think. So much so, that while I was still lost in my thoughts, I got another email from her. This time, she said she took down her post. And she apologized! She happened to be a frequent commenter on my Mommy Revolution blog and explained that she didn't "want to be divisive or create any controversy."
I didn't have to think long about how to respond to this!
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 28, 2009 | Comments (9)
The Final Church Barrier for Women: Church Planter
I just came back from the Exponential Conference, the nation's largest conference for church planters. I loved it. Nearly 2,700 church planters, apostles, cultural missionaries, entrepreneurs, and crazy people - the kind who take "It's never been done that way before" as a dare. My friend Dave Ferguson and a team help guide the conference, and he and his brother, Jon, are geniuses at creating life-giving cultures. Exponential is one: attenders focus on reaching people far from God, so they drop sectarian emphases and doctrinal disputes and come together for vision, teaching, prayer. Speakers and attenders represent Anglo, African-American, Asian, Latino and other cultures. Plenary sessions were led by pastors from India and Indonesia.
But where are the women?
Continue reading...Posted by Kevin Miller on April 25, 2009 | Comments (19)
The Devastating Power of a Church-Harpy
I knew a woman once who, with super-spy-like verbal finesse, single-handedly took down an entire church. Ka-pow! The congregation exists no more.
I knew another woman who waged a stealth war to get her church secretary fired. Before the campaign ended, the secretary quit, left the church, lost most of her friends, and entered into a deep depression.
Oh, and I knew another woman - a stately matron of the church - whose "helpful ideas" (i.e. biting critiques) so discouraged a new Christian eager to get involved in ministry that her sense of personal value will be devastated for years to come.
What did these three women have in common? They were women's ministry leaders.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 7, 2009 | Comments (28)
Dream Poppers
We sat in the intimate living room with friends and family.
"I've been asked to join the Proverbs 31 Ministry speaking team," I said with excitement.
Proverbs 31 Ministries is a strong group of women who support, encourage, and mentor faith-filled women who write and speak. It was not only an opportunity to pursue my passion of mentoring, but I was tired of flying solo. I longed for the accountability and friendship that come from working with others who share the same dreams. I shared the benefits, and then mentioned that travel might increase by one weekend a month.
"You don't like your husband very much, do you?" one woman asked.
She was dead serious.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 24, 2009 | Comments (18)
Emerging into Leadership
Over and over again in my conversations with women in the emerging church movement, I hear the story of women awakening to themselves. They realize that as women they too are created in the image of God and so in theory can serve their creator faithfully in whatever way they are called. Intellectually, they understand this. They want to engage theology, attend conferences, interact online, and visit discussion groups. They want to have a say in the direction of the emerging conversation and lend their particular understandings to shape the movement. They see in this emerging moment in time an opportunity for them to be fully alive as women, to grow their faith in new ways, and to be truly respected in the church. But at the same time they have difficulty actually doing those things.
The problem isn't so much women being told that they can't participate or lead, although there are churches in the emerging movement that still set limits on women, for the most part women are fully affirmed. The men in the conversations wish there were more women contributing their voices and stepping up into leadership. But while such stepping up might seem perfectly natural to these men, I've encountered numerous women who feel they just can't do that. Even if they believe they can be leaders, the message that the church and their culture has imparted to them over the years is that nice Christian women just don't do things like that. They don't assert themselves. They don't impose themselves on others. They don't show up where they haven't been invited. They don't make a scene.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 10, 2009 | Comments (17)
Does 'Complementarian' Equal Anemic Women's Ministry?
In 2007, Amy Simpson wrote "Why I Don't Do Women's Ministry," citing the reasons for her struggle to fit in an essentially shallow church culture. She may have surprised a few readers, but clearly she spoke the heart of a silent, yet critical mass of women in the church.
These are women who want to fulfill the Titus 2 mandate, to mentor and minister to other women, who want to play a significant role in Christian education, but also want to escape the culture of women's ministry that they inherited from their grandmothers. They want a more substantive interaction with the women they lead, because they know that time is a priceless commodity and they want to make the most out of every opportunity. They are tired of women's ministry being the equivalent of event planning, and they want their "relationship with Jesus" to be more than an inner-circle catchphrase that accompanies the obligatory secret hug (because secret handshakes don't exist in women's ministry).
For these women, community encompasses more than fellowship around a meal or taking care of each other in a time of crisis. They want to know Jesus through the Scriptures in the deepest possible way, and they want the tools to do it. They want to think "Christianly" about every area of life, proactively thinking about how to contend with the issues women face instead of reacting to them when they surface.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 20, 2009 | Comments (35)
Bible Study and the City
One particularly summery evening last May, I headed to downtown Dallas. For me the road from my sedate suburbia to downtown entailed much more than thirty minutes of my time. It was a trip into another culture where beautiful, successful 20-somethings live, work, and love to party. Even though my well-worn NIV Study Bible sat on the seat next to me, my mind was far from memory verses or prayers. I stared down at my jeans murmuring to myself, "What were you thinking when you purchased these matronly things?" Then my eyes moved to the rearview mirror and I sat aghast at the face of a 50-year-old woman looking every wrinkle of the journey. Lastly, with a tightening in my chest I screamed, "Why did you ever agree to meet with a bunch of skinny, tan, unwrinkled 20-year-old women?"
Here's the story behind my frenzy: My 24-year-old son, Matt, dates Jill. Through their college years and now as young professionals working in Dallas, I have gotten to know Jill and her girlfriends at barbecues and birthdays. They have a close relationship, and together they adore Oprah, volunteer in the community, watch The Bachelor and have a monthly book/dinner club. Yet while most of these bright young women are Christians, most are not a part of a church family. Wondering how I might help them connect spiritually, last May I emailed Jill to see if she and her "girls" (as Matt refers to them) might be interested in meeting for a casual summer Bible study. I did not hear back for a few days, but then my inbox was flooded with unanimous reply-to-all "I'm in!" responses. We set a date. And now I found myself wending my way to our first meeting.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 6, 2009 | Comments (8)
The Rested Leader---Part II
In part I of this conversation, I mentioned Jim Loehr. He was a performance psychologist who evaluated top-ranked tennis players in an effort to determine what made those who held the highest world rankings better than their lower-ranked competitors. What did they do as they played tennis that made them superior players in a highly competitive sport?
Loehr discovered that the strokes and techniques of all the players were infuriatingly similar. But eventually, he noticed that the difference lay in what the players did between points. Top performers, Loehr discovered, knew when to work hard and when to rest. Their strength lay not in the perfection of their strokes or their level of effort, but rather, in their ability to recover. The top tennis players, Loehr discovered, found rituals (the way they walked, breathing patterns, self-talk) that actually lowered their heart beat, calming them, and, in effect, allowing them to rest both physically and mentally between points. And the rest and recovery, even in the thirty to ninety seconds between points in a tennis game, is what made all the difference.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 3, 2009 | Comments (2)
Catch-Phrase Christians
Here's my up-front disclaimer: I'm not fond of Christian jokes and one-liners. I might be a terrible stick-in-the-mud, but when I pass a church marquee sign posting a "Christian" message, I wince. Although I fight the urge, I read it. And sometimes I need to seek God's forgiveness for the thoughts that enter my mind after my car has passed by.
I live in a small town where church marquee signs are prevalent. Before Election Day, one sign read, "To find God, turn right and go straight." A left-leaning friend was outraged by what she believed was a political message. Granted, the church was located on the right side of the road, but I wondered if the pastor realized that, if drivers decided to "go straight," they would eventually end up at the Davison Bacon & Sausage Works down the road. (Can God really be found between tubes of hanging salami?)
Another local church sign once read, "If God gave you the same priority you give Him, would you be saved?" My instinctive response was a low growl. I wasn't being convicted by the Holy Spirit; I simply have an adverse reaction to being smacked in the head while traveling down Main Street. It doesn't seem to reflect our Savior's style.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 26, 2008 | Comments (14)
Creative Acts of Obedience
Serene Madonna? I don't think so
Mary, the mother of Jesus, is usually painted looking so serene, but I have to wonder if that was always the expression on her face. The advent season is all about her story, as the young virgin honored to be selected to bear the Messiah. She didn't seem to struggle too much with her yes, but did she have any idea what would be coming next?
This past spring I was in Israel driving by bus from Nazareth to Bethlehem, thinking, "This would not be fun, on a donkey - in your third trimester! Besides the inconvenient travel, she encountered a fiance who wanted to break it off, a village abuzz with gossip, and a less than optimal delivery location. And that was just in the first nine months of the story.
God calls each of us to creative acts of obedience throughout our lives.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 12, 2008 | Comments (5)
Hands On Leadership
As I write, I'm delightfully basted in the scent of lemon grass oil; I just got a massage. I've only ever had one other massage in my life, so this is a fairly memorable occasion. I'm thankful for the kind woman who spent an hour of her time trying to talk some relaxation into these stubborn, over-tightened muscles of mine.
Actually, I'm a little more than thankful. I'm downright...perplexed. I guess I'm not sure what drives a person to want to be a masseuse. I'd always thought of it as "glam"--even the word sounds cool. But after the workout this woman just went through, I'm sure I was wrong. It was more than her willingness to expend energy that got me. What I'm really wondering is: What drives a person to be willling to touch someone else?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 25, 2008 | Comments (4)
Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary
Solve some problem right in front of you. Often vision is born by passing through the narrow and dark birth canal of problems. You see the problem, and you start to work on it. You don't necessarily feel inspired or see lights. All you are doing is trying to solve some problem right in front of you. But later, everyone else says, "What a great vision!"
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on November 24, 2008 | Comments (1)
Tra La La....Blah
Christmas is coming! The presents wrapped in fun and funky paper. The family. The homemade sugar cookies and sledding in three-feet snow. The break from school and pop quizzes! Sounds nice, doesnt it? But did you know that the holidays are a difficult time for lots of teens? Dr. David Lowenstein, a psychologist, says that as many as one person in four battles the holiday blues this time of year.
Depression and Christmas?
It doesnt seem like a good fit, but makes sense if dad or mom is out of the picture. Its a bummer when the only Christmas wish is for everybody to get along, and it doesnt happen, or if money is tight and the parents are stressing. If a student is dealing with the holiday blues, they might not understand the hype. Christmas becomes something to endure rather than a celebration.
If you work with teens or families with teens, how can you help as the holidays approach?
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 18, 2008 | Comments (2)
Finding Safe Women
I used to equate "women's ministry" with things like secret pals and salad suppers. Problem is I'm a horrible secret pal because I tend to forget birthdays and anniversaries. And I'm sorry, but I like warm food.
At one particularly memorable Christmas tea, which featured a desert reception, I nervously stuffed an entire chocolate-covered strawberry into my mouth in one bite. Who does that?! The other ladies at my table giggled nervously as strawberry-chocolate juice oozed from my lips.
As a young woman trying to balance a demanding career and a growing family, I'm lucky to find time to shave my legs, much less to carve out three hours to make chit-chat with people who are apparently way better at this "lady" thing than I am. I spent years wishing I could skip the women's events and just go do fun stuff with the men's groups. I just wanted feel safe being myself but the fellowship halls of my past were filled with women who didn't get me.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 14, 2008 | Comments (13)
The Mixed-Gender Team
Humility is essential for mixed gender teams because pride is so destructive. Pride leads us to presume and prejudge one another. This in turn leads to issues of stereotyping, transference, and entitlement.
How many men and women feel offended by one another based on an unfair presumption? A man presumes, for instance, that a woman is against him - when really she is trying to help him. Or a woman presumes, for instance, that a man is avoiding her - when really he is busy with a task.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on November 10, 2008 | Comments (2)
An Election-Day Letter from a Post-Church Refugee
Hi.
It's been a while since we've talked, so I thought I'd drop you a line to catch up. Today has been exciting - a big turn out at the polling places and precincts. So much energy in the air, I almost felt as if I was connected to something living and fantastic! Even in my discontent, I think I can join with you to say "thank God for the gift of democracy!"
That leads me to a big part of why I'm writing. I'm a little discouraged these days hearing from others that you may think I'm in a faith crisis because of my politics? That I've fallen away from what is true? Or more painful yet, that I've lost my love for God? Perhaps they're just rumors, so I wanted to clear the air. There's enough that you and I are working through together to let this get in the way.
I guess you've been on my mind a bit lately because this whole election craziness has dredged up some issues that reminded me of our old times together - and also some of what ultimately pulled us apart.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 4, 2008 | Comments (4)
How We Treat the "Missionary Wife"
"Speak," I said, as I picked up the phone. No, I wasn't talking to the dog or being rude. That's just the way you answer the phone in Spanish. "Is your Lord and Master there?" asked the cultured voice on the other end of the wire. I froze.
I recognized the voice. It belonged to one of the elders of our church. I wondered whether he was serious or joking, but given the openly chauvinistic culture, I figured he could actually mean what he said fairly literally. After quite a few years working in that country, I had come to understand that women are primarily valued for their physical and domestic service to men. Oh, and their looks.
This kind of world view can be one of the biggest aspects of culture shock to an educated, gifted woman serving overseas. Shopping on a daily basis, not having a dryer, learning to speak another language: all these challenges we can meet. But dealing with open, blatant chauvinism from the society and the local church can be really draining.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 21, 2008 | Comments (10)
Workaholic Faith
When I became a Christian, I knew I'd found my life purpose. I wanted to serve God with my last ounce of strength. I read Christian biographies voraciously and latched onto any report of modern-day Christians who were giving their all to Christ and his kingdom. I often felt that my life was too easy - that I never suffered for Christ as some people did, which to my way of thinking made me an inferior Christian. What this translated into for my life was that I said yes to everything anyone asked me to do and constantly looked for challenging people and situations to be involved with.
What this eventually led to (it took about 20 years - I'm tough) was burnout. I over-extended myself in almost every area of my life. In my false idea that only doing the hard things would please God, I worked part-time for a Christian organization, volunteered for three different organizations, and mothered three children. I wanted to do all of this perfectly, better than anyone had ever done any of them before. I also looked for practical needs all the time that I could meet. During this time, I remember telling the women in my small group that I always worry that I'm not doing enough to serve God. They looked at me shocked and said, "You worry about not doing enough?" I could tell by their expressions that I'd just put them all under the pile, but I stuck to my conviction (that I truly felt) that I wasn't doing enough.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 10, 2008 | Comments (4)
How Do I Uncover My Spiritual Gifts?
Notice the things that energize you and seem to come naturally. Remember the quote from the movie Chariots of Fire when Eric Liddell explained to his sister why he was postponing his return to the mission field in order to race in the Olympics? "Because when I run, I feel the pleasure of God."
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on October 8, 2008 | Comments (3)
What Loves Got to Do with It
There's a woman across from me on a wooden bench describing her life as a member of a rural agricultural cooperative in northwestern Haiti. It's hot so we're sitting in the shade of an old Brazilian military tarp that has been strung up between two trees. I'm in northwestern Haiti as a photojournalist for Church World Service, to document the stories of men and women who support each other through low interest loans. She's speaking Creole, so I'm not catching everything she's saying, but I'm careful to make eye contact, nod, scribble notes, adjust my tape recorder, and glance at my translator every once in awhile.
The truth is, I'm not fully paying attention. Instead, I'm fully engaged in a daydream about a man that I've recently fallen in love with. As the woman explains the way that her life was changed by a loan of $50 that allowed her to purchase a donkey, I'm recalling the conversation he and I had on a balcony with the sun setting over Port-au-Prince where his vulnerable confessions of affection melted into my relief. She continues to describe the distance she and her donkey travel every day to carry goods to the market. I'm on the back of his motorcycle on our way to buy dinner from our favorite street vendor. And so the interview continues.
My work in Haiti took a drastic turn when I found myself in a relationship that had a sincerity and gravitational force that made any previous interests seem like planks on a bridge I was now crossing.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 7, 2008 | Comments (5)
Leading Like Life is On the Line
One of my favorite recent reads, Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life starts this way: "I have not survived against all odds. I have not lived to tell. ?" What's not to love about a book that starts this way? I have to tell you, my life feels like Amy's. While I may certainly have survived against some odds I never knew of or lived to tell because of some intervention by my guardian angel, in reality I'm no survivor either. My life has been fairly "ordinary," and I think I lead that way.
I mean, the "risks" I take are rarely real risks. Failure or messing up in most of my leadership arenas doesn't put anyone's life on the line or anything. More often than not, dollars and cents are on that line. And it shows in the way I lead.
I never gave this any thought until I started watching the changes in my friend Kim. Last spring, at 36 years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Over the summer, she's endured surgery, daily radiation, and is now on medicine that "promises" to keep cancer at bay.
Now she is a survivor!
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 30, 2008 | Comments (0)
Sexual Misconduct at Church
One day more than a decade ago, the senior pastor of my church stopped by my house unannounced. I had just had a baby, so I presumed his visit was pastorally motivated, although I was a little thrown off by his sudden appearance at my door. I invited him in, and we made small talk for a while. My baby began to fuss and it soon became apparent that he needed to nurse. My pastor didn't take his cue and offer to leave, so after several tense moments of trying to soothe my son without whipping out my breast to feed him, I told my pastor that we'd need to continue our conversation some other time. He finally left.
I didn't think too much of this incident - at least not until he showed up a second time uninvited. Thankfully, I was running out the door, and I told him I couldn't visit right then. As I drove away from my house, I had a sick feeling in my stomach, like something wasn't quite right. Why would my pastor drop by without calling first? And why me? We weren't that closely connected through the church. Why would he stop by my house to pay a visit? Don't people usually call first?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 19, 2008 | Comments (14)
Is She Driving You Crazy?
I know about those "work" friendships.
Jan and I started chatting on the phone several years ago when our sons became good friends. Jan is caring and funny, and I enjoy our time together. But she started popping in several times a week. When she came to visit, she clearly expected me to drop everything and play hostess. Even the days she didn't drop by, she called - sometimes several times. "Just one more thing ? " she'd say. Then an hour later, my errands would still be undone and dinner would be late - again.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on September 8, 2008 | Comments (0)
Sexual Misconduct at Church
A new study of self-described "active Christian women" shows more than a quarter personally experienced sexually inappropriate behavior, and one fourth of those that experienced it said it happened in a church or ministry setting. The survey, based on answers given last fall by 779 American women to NationalChristianPoll.com, was designed to capture the range and extent to which women encounter unwelcome, gender-based behaviors by their male counterparts, either in the workplace or within a church or ministry setting. Commonly reported inappropriate behaviors include sexual advances, touching or sexual contact, suggestive jokes, glances with sexual overtones, and demeaning comments.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on September 3, 2008 | Comments (2)
Bold Forgiveness
The last place we expect to get hurt is within the family of God. We assume church people are safe people. But, hurt comes with church leadership. When it happens, the wounds it brings can quickly become a breeding ground for bitterness.
Bitterness can become a gnarly vine that chokes our souls. It poisons our hearts and actions. Scripture says we and others will pay a great price if it is left unchecked (Hebrews 12:15).
What's a Christian to do? When we are wronged, justice demands that someone pay for the wrong. We know that the Lord wants us to forgive. But how can we handle the tension between justice and forgiveness?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 26, 2008 | Comments (14)
"God, Rock The Summit"
This year's roster at Willow Creek's Leadership Summit conference includes an impressive lineup of leaders from both the ministry and secular business realms. Pastors John Burke and Efrem Smith, and Bill George (current Harvard Business prof and former CEO of Medtronic Inc.) spoke yesterday, as (of course) did Bill Hybels. Today we heard from Craig Groeschel and Chuck Colson, and later from Brad Anderson, vice-chairman and CEO of Best Buy. But for my money, the two most challenging and inspiring presenters were relative unknowns--two women who lead small but incalculably influential organizations.
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on August 12, 2008 | Comments (4)
Ethnic Blends
When a position becomes available in most churches, leaders tend to contact those they know and trust for names of those they'd recommend for the job. The people we contact and those they recommend are, more often than not, people just like us in ethnic, economic, and educational background.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on August 8, 2008 | Comments (1)
Surprised by the 'Old Guard'
As the daughter of academics I was encouraged to be a free-thinker, especially when it came to God. My parents were not afraid of questions because their faith was so strong in the One who gives answers. Yet I lived (and still do) a paradoxical life: A home life of free-thinking and free-discussion amongst a community of "don't rock the boaters" - the Old Guard of evangelical tradition.
Amidst the Old Guard of evangelicalism, when I came out of Wheaton College in 1992, there was a group who left appreciating our evangelical roots, and willing to think bigger. One of my friends became the religious editor for the Chicago Sun Times. Another friend founded a church. It grew to over 10,000 people assembling each Sunday in less than a year - and is still going strong. This friend also started a not-for-profit, making short films with this ?new' take on Christianity. As a woman with leadership skills and a call to ministry this new direction for evangelicalism was very exciting.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 6, 2008 | Comments (17)
Food for Thought
There is a difference between being peaceful and being a peacemaker. A fellow pastor told me about an elected church leader who refuses to become involved with anything controversial. This leader is a no-show on big issues and justifies his behavior as "a desire to be peaceful."
Being peaceful, however, is different from being a peacemaker, which we are all called to be.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on July 28, 2008 | Comments (0)
Service Outside the Pew
I climbed on a bright green trolley and instantly heard calls of "Suz!"
Twenty-seven freshman girls were perched in the seats, waving. The driver put the trolley in gear. And off we went.
We traveled to a refurbished theater from the 1950s and watched an independent film. Then we hopped back on the trolley and traveled to the Music Hall of Fame. The students went wild when they realized their entertainment was area musician Colton Swon, one of the Top 50 in this season's American Idol. Next we traveled to WISH, a safe home for battered woman where we ate lunch and discussed statistics and where to find help if you are a victim of dating abuse. Our last stop was at The Castle, a local Renaissance Fair building complete with history, knights, kings, and queens.
It was a special day as a community mentor with a local high school.
What does this have to do with ministry?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 15, 2008 | Comments (6)
Food for Thought
Even the most dedicated people often shy from being called into "leadership." So instead, when one of our current leaders (we like to call them "servants" or "coaches") sees someone passionate about a ministry, he or she approaches that person with an invitation:
"Beverly, I've watched you get passionate about God's purposes. And I've seen you display gifts of caring and evangelism. I'd like to invite you to serve with me on this missions project."
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on July 14, 2008 | Comments (1)
The Wow Factor
Over the years, I've discovered that the best haircuts aren't a matter of what I think when I stand up from the stylist's chair, but the feedback I get from friends (and even strangers) after I walk out of the salon. Comments like "Great haircut!" and "Love the look!" signify that that the hairstylist knocked it out of the park. Whereas questions like, "Was that the look you were going for?" and "Wow - did you want it that blonde?" leave me wondering what just happened. I want to have the wow factor when it comes to my hair - just not that kind of wow factor.
So what's this got to do with leadership? Bear with me, because just as I've been discovering secrets to increasing a healthy wow factor in my hairstyle, I've realized their application to leadership. Consider these wow factor hair tips:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 8, 2008 | Comments (3)
Drowning in the Fishbowl
I walked up to the red door with trepidation. Please God, don't let anyone recognize me today.
We had just moved, and I needed desperately to meet God on his turf. I needed a church. At the same time, I dreaded the people in a church. Dreaded the moment someone would ask what my name was and what I did. Even worse, I dreaded the people who would approach and tell me who I was and what I did.
I was working for a national ministry at the time, in a semi-public position. My name and picture were on the front pages of their magazines, and my byline showed up regularly. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make me recognizable to a certain subgroup of Christian women. Well-intentioned churchgoers would assume they knew more about me than they did. They'd ask me about my children (which I didn't have). Look around for my husband (he worked weekends while going to school full time, and so he wasn't with me). Make assumptions about my spiritual life, during a season when the holes in my faith resembled Swiss cheese.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 13, 2008 | Comments (12)
Food for Thought
It seems like ministry today has been reduced to strategy and outcomes and production. And, frankly, that is what makes you famous - developing a new ministry strategy. If you can reproduce it and sell it, you can get a book deal.
Ministry to "the least of these" is about people, and it's messy. But there are godly people all over this country who have been loving people in the name of Jesus, and I think that's real ministry.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on June 9, 2008 | Comments (3)
The Title I Didn't Ask For
I married a banker. I like to remind my banker-turned-pastor husband of this when we're having a particularly difficult time in the ministry. Although I wouldn't trade his occupation (some would say "calling"), my husband's career choice bestowed on me a title I never bargained for when we walked down the aisle.
I am a pastor's wife.
While I know plenty of women who are thrilled to bear this title, I've never worn it very well. I was always confused by the girls at the Christian college I attended who said they felt "called to become a pastor's wife." Since I grew up Catholic, I was astonished to learn that pastors were allowed to marry. More shocking to me, however, was the idea that God would call a woman to be a spouse of someone's occupation.
How do we treat the women (and men) who happen to be married to our pastors? Do we balance them precariously on high pedestals? Do we set impossible-to-live-up-to expectations for them to follow? Are we quick to criticize when they fail or act (gasp!) human? Will we take the time to get to know - really know - them?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 20, 2008 | Comments (18)
Setting Ministry Boundaries
The biggest change Christ made in my life is a desire to serve others rather than myself. Before I became a Christian, it was all about me. Afterward, I was drawn to the weak and hurting and constantly looked for opportunities to minister. I took to heart Jesus' instruction that if I wanted to save my life, I had to lose it. This led me to full-time Christian work and helping to plant a church.
What I didn't know then, but am learning now, is that I simply cannot help some people. I'm sure that I understood this intellectually. I was aware of the joke: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, if the light bulb wants to be changed," but I thought I would have a lot more success than most psychiatrists since I had help from the Lord of the Universe. And that's true. I do have help a secularist could never tap into.
I thought those who were wounded would be able to understand God's love if I just loved them enough. In some cases, this happened. Some that I loved did understand God's love and were able to move beyond the hurts of their past. However, others couldn't comprehend the love I offered and only found reasons to blame me for their lack of comprehension. I became the recipient of all their anger.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 6, 2008 | Comments (16)
Is Women- or Men-Only Ever Okay?
A couple weeks back, as I eyeballed the catalog for an upcoming auction held by the Christian school I graduated from, send my kids to, and serve as Alumni Board President of, a chill fell through my body, numbing it along the way. Feeling came back as I reread the chill-inducing words - which this time sparked a rage:
"Are you up to the challenge? [Club] member and [School] parent [Blankety Blank] invites you to go for it! Three gentlemen are invited to be [Blankety's] guests for 18 holes of incomparable golf at this famed all-men's course. After the game, enjoy refreshments in the traditional atmosphere of the clubhouse."
- Donated by Blankety and Blankette Blank
Anyone else see a problem here? Well, I did. An abomination, actually. I couldn't believe that this school - which I loved, which shaped me, made me think I could do anything God called me to do, and which now shaped my children - would accept money from this source that screams: "Women are a nuisance! Women aren't as good! Women don't belong!" I couldn't believe that this passed as something that supports the school's mission to develop academically prepared disciples to transform the world for Christ.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 29, 2008 | Comments (25)
When Good Gifts Turn Bad
In my observation, some of the worst "troublemakers" in organizations of all kinds are women with frustrated leadership gifts.
Like all gifts, leadership can be used in positive or negative ways. Someone with the gift of hospitality may use it to build up the body of Christ--or to foster a clique. A gifted teacher may help others learn--or sit back and ridicule those who do teach. And women with leadership gifts can choose to embrace their gifts and the responsibility God has given them to exercise their gifts for his glory. Or they can reject their gifts, try to be someone else, and end up leading others in destructive ways.
Because they can't squelch God's gift, they can't help but lead. They lead others astray, seek (and often find) followers, lead rebellions, and champion pet causes that are at odds with the goals of the organization as a whole. They criticize and find fault with their leaders. They manipulate others into doing what they want them to do.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on April 25, 2008 | Comments (13)
Food for Thought
Women process pain differently than men. Women need to talk about it, to get it out in an affirming environment before receiving direction. Empathetic listening skills are critical. Understanding is essential. In some ways, women desperately need the comfort only other women can give.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on April 21, 2008 | Comments (1)
Finding My Voice
A couple months ago in the Presidential campaign, we all saw Hillary Clinton become a little emotional when a reporter asked her a question. I was stunned by all the buzz generated by the press and subsequently chatted about beside water coolers and in coffee shops all over the country. A couple days after the event, Clinton remarked that perhaps she had "found her voice." I fully understood what she was driving at. Every leader needs to find his or her voice over time. But as a woman leader in the church, the challenge for me has been to discern what truly is my authentic voice, and what is an attempt to mimic the voices of male leaders I respect. In all kinds of settings, we have to discover what voice is the one that most accurately reflects our God-given instincts, personality, perspective, and story.
By nature I am a fairly emotional and expressive person. I don't believe this is unique to female leaders and communicators, though sometimes people assume that males will be more "in control" of their emotions and speak from the head more than the heart. Certainly there have been times both in meetings and in the pulpit when I have attempted to at least put a lid on becoming too emotional, avoiding the kind of blubbering that thwarts the ability to even choke out words. But to hide all my passion and deep feelings simply isn't me.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 15, 2008 | Comments (10)
Food for Thought
Stephen Ong, pastor and founder of Victory Baptist Church in Greeley, Colorado, chose to build the church on an intergenerational model. "Too many families were living Christianity only at church," Ong says. "It wasn't being applied at home. I figured if we could bring families together in their walk of faith on Sundays, it would create a mutual accountability that would stay with them throughout the week."
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on April 14, 2008 | Comments (2)
Crossing ChasmsWith Courage
Growing up, my all-time favorite action hero was Indiana Jones, an audacious archaeologist who traveled the world looking for treasures and lost artifacts, including the Ark of the Covenant and sacred stones. On his last crusade, Jones is searching for the Holy Grail, the cup Christ reputably used at the Last Supper. To aid him in his journey, Jones uses an ancient book to help him navigate through a maze of tunnels and various obstacles that impede the way to the Holy Grail.
At the very end of the maze, Jones reaches a chasm that is deeper than the visible eye can see. He stands precariously on the edge of the rocky cliff, his face contorted with bewilderment. Had he gone the wrong way? Had he made a mistake? There was no visible way to cross the chasm; the other side was utterly beyond his reach. Gripped with fear, he anxiously thumbs through the pages of the ancient book until he understands the obstacle: it's a leap of faith, an invisible bridge. Jones scatters sand over the invisible bridge, closes his eyes, and steps out over the chasm with both feet. Once he realizes his footing is secure, he rushes across the invisible bridge to retrieve the Holy Grail.
Inevitably, every Christian leader, even those among us who appear to be the most fearless, must face their own chasm, the chasm between our calling as Christian leaders and our own personal resources.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 11, 2008 | Comments (0)
Listening To God's Word
This month Gifted for Leadership, Leadership Journal, and some of our sister sites are joining to think seriously about Scripture. An exciting foray into this topic begins with an interactive assessment: The Hermeneutics Quiz, by Scot McKnight. This free quiz will give you an insightful perspective into the way in which you interpret Scripture.
For other considerations, read Scot's article on the Leadership website, or dive into Christopher Blumhofer's insightful post below.
A church's ability to minister to people hinges on its confidence in the Word of God. A low-confidence church can't teach or preach or serve with any real sense of expectation. It can't profess assurance that God speaks or that listening for his voice is worthwhile. A high-confidence church lives in another reality: a realm in which God speaks and acts, calls and sends.
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on March 20, 2008 | Comments (3)
Food for Thought
While I don't understand everything, there is one thing I am solidly convinced of: a call is not a career. The pivotal distinction between the two may be the most important thing we ever understand about the call of God, especially in these times.
The words themselves immediately suggest one difference. Our English word career comes from the French carriere, meaning "a road," or "a highway." The image suggests a course one sets out on, road map in hand, goal in sight, stops marked along the way for food, lodging, and fuel.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on March 17, 2008 | Comments (5)
Deferring to God
It's four o'clock and Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston has just begun visiting hours as Alice Rouse, a 31-year-old outreach worker for Starlight Ministries of the Emmanuel Gospel Center is buzzed through the doors of the ICU. Today her friend Adam began his 17th birthday by shooting China White, the purest form of heroin, and then stringing himself up in the shower with a bed sheet.
Adam is paralyzed with sedatives after a recent attempt to pull out his tubes and IV, but as Alice approaches his bed, he smiles and whispers, "finally." She has brought her guitar and will play "It is Well with My Soul," same as last year when she and Adam were here for the same reason. As she leaves the hospital, she weeps for him, for the familiarity of that stark scene, for the long road of recovery they have in front of them. A week later he's discharged and calls Alice in a rage, "I've been locked up in the hospital for days and will forever hate you for not visiting!" Alice explains that he must not remember, that there were sedatives, but she's making little progress because Adam is already hurt. She hangs up the phone and shrugs.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 4, 2008 | Comments (12)
Food for Thought
[Deborah] also sang the praises of those who served her well - "My heart is with Israel's princes, with the willing volunteers among the people" (Judges 5:9) - and she commended Jael at length, calling her "most blessed of tent-dwelling women" (Judges 5:24). A final leadership lesson from Deborah: Acknowledge the efforts of others, rather than pat yourself on the back.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on March 3, 2008 | Comments (1)
Should Churches Differentiate?
As a show of solidarity with my seven-year-old daughter, I recently reread the classic Little House on the Prairie books and Anne of Green Gables. One phenomenon I noticed this time around (probably because I'm in the habit of thinking about church leadership) was that the books' good, churchgoing characters didn't have to choose between churches of various sizes and stripes. They simply attended the church in town and enjoyed (or put up with) the teachings of Reverend So-and-So every Sunday.
My, how things have changed. Along with the constant and dizzying array of choices we face every day, we have the luxury of choosing the church we like best. I know some small towns and villages in our country still have only one church. But in most of those cases, people live within driving distance of other communities and might choose to drive to one of them to attend another church. And the situation is very different where I live - in some areas I can find a church on every block. And on a recent trip to the area around Fort Worth, Texas, I thought I saw at least two churches on every block.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on February 22, 2008 | Comments (10)
A Deeper Spiritual Issue
My name's Marshall, and I'm a male and I enjoy reading the "GFL" e-newsletter. (I feel like everybody in the room just said in unison, "Hi Marshall.")
No, this isn't an AA meeting. But yes, it's sort of a check-in. Sort of a confession. Sort of just who I am - a voracious reader, a colleague of the people who write GFL, and the husband of a staff pastor that GFL describes really well.
Last week's piece by Caryn got to me when she talked about how women don't feel like they fit in at church.
For what it's worth, most times I talk with men at church (even some pastors), the very same feeling is expressed, "I just don't feel like I fit in." Men are more relationally-challenged, perhaps, and find most social gatherings hard to "fit in." Lots of men these days tend to say the church is too "feminized," whatever that means. Often I suspect that's just another way of saying, "The women around here seem to have closer friends than I do. I wish it were as good for the men here as it appears to be for the women."
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on February 11, 2008 | Comments (11)
Food for Thought
A look at current social trends bears out the experience of churches: today's women are complex. Studying these trends also provides information that can help churches design effective women's ministries.
Consider just two trends that affect most church ministries:
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on February 11, 2008 | Comments (0)
Engaging in 'Sustained Dialogue'
You don't have to strain your eyes to see them - the cracks that run down racial, gender and doctrinal lines, splintering the Church into a multitude of factions. We're good at conflict. Too good. We build our self-assured walls, oblivious to the tragedy we create by our divisions. At the root of our disunity is closed ears; we aren't hearing each other. In his book Reconciliation Blues: A Black Evangelical's Inside View of White Christianity, Edward Gilbreath exhorts, "As members of the body of Christ, we should be determined to hear and understand the concerns of our brothers and sisters." That means we need to engage in conversation, and not just any conversation. We need Sustained Dialogue.
I first encountered Sustained Dialogue while serving as a moderator for a small group of Palestinian and Jewish students at the university where I work. Sustained Dialogue "focuses on transforming the relationships that cause problems, create conflict, and block change." It is promoted by The International Institute for Sustained Dialogue (IISD), an organization founded by former U.S. diplomat Dr. Harold Saunders to bring peace to war-torn regions. The goal of Sustained Dialogue is not agreement. Unlike mediation or negotiation, the point is not consensus, but rather improved relationships. It is about developing mutual respect, shared interests and a greater appreciation of our need for one another.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 18, 2008 | Comments (1)
Is the Church Ready for Iron Ladies?
I have a confession to make, one that I often sheepishly keep to myself: I have very rarely felt discriminated against for being a woman, but often because I am not a certain type of woman.
I stand on the shoulders of giants who labored to make inroads for women's rights, for equal opportunity in our culture, our workforce, our political system, and our churches. As a child and a teenager, my father taught me that I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. I believed him. My generation - the people I grew up with and the people I interact with even today - take it for granted that women deserve the same opportunities as men. My church assumes that leadership in the church should be based on God-given ability and vocational calling rather than gender. At both seminaries I have attended, I have been encouraged by God-honoring, conservative male professors who regularly tell me, "The church needs women leaders. One reason the church today has so many problems is because we have so few women leaders."
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 15, 2008 | Comments (22)
RetroWomen: The Rise of Gender Fundamentalism
Earlier this year, I provided a link to a video of a fundamentalist teacher in the UK. His comments about women and what he saw as their God-created role (little more than animals, created to serve and please men) were understandably shocking to many readers. Quite a few of those who responded wondered why I had bothered to draw attention to the perspectives of an isolated extremist. No one could possibly take him seriously. This kind of primitive thinking had been "dealt with" since the ?60s, and there was no reason to spend time and energy on it now. We're well into the new millennium. Now, Christian women believe that if they've been given gifts, they have a divine call to use them, wherever God leads. End of story.
I've mused about those responses the rest of this year. Were they right? Has the perspective that women are made solely for men's pleasure and use truly been relegated to the annals of history?
This fall, The Los Angeles Times ran an article entitled, "Stubborn Stains, Cookie Baking on Syllabus." Its opening lines:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 4, 2008 | Comments (27)
New Conversions or Changed Lives?
This article is Part II. Part I of this article appears here.
Someone once said of William Penn's conversion: "Conversion must not be considered simply as a change of opinion. It penetrated his moral nature: it made him a new man. He was raised into another sphere and consciousness."
I've been thinking about the way that some of us evangelicals report so easily on "conversions." "So many accepted Christ," we say. "There were hundreds of conversions." Or, "We went on a short-term missions trip and planted dozens of churches." (I actually received a letter to that effect.)
But what do we mean? Is there evidence of life following that these people have been reached and moved? Have they been internally sorrowed for the sin that nailed Jesus securely in place till he accomplished our saving? Has the Spirit done his convicting and convincing work?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 28, 2007 | Comments (5)
The Gift of Worship
Early in our marriage I gave my wife a terrific anniversary gift: a rain gauge. At least I thought it was a great gift. Susan, after all, is a farmer's daughter and keeps close watch on the weather. I envisioned her delight and nostalgia while tracking our backyard precipitation. I congratulated myself on my creativity.
Guess what? Susan was not impressed: "A rain gauge - for our anniversary?!" The rain gauge is now a family joke, a classic example of a gift enjoyed by the giver but not the receiver.
One word I hear a lot these days is authentic, as in "we seek authentic worship." Usually this means we're trying to create an experience that helps worshipers feel something. Nothing wrong with that, but if our focus is only on our experience, we may be giving God a rain gauge.
Are we offering in worship a gift we enjoy and figure God will like it?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 21, 2007 | Comments (3)
Disappointed Women, Angry Men
After our church council made the recent decision not to hold the door open for the women to become elders and deacons (see "Let Men Get the Door" for my first post on this topic), my friend Anne suggested the main reason was because "it is easier to deal with disappointed women than angry men."
While this may seem harsh to say about the decision-making process of godly men, I think she's right (and could be right about most decisions made throughout history!). Because when I've asked about the reasons for the decision, here's a bit of what I've been told: "It's not the right time because too many people would leave" (and we're building a new church), "Where will men serve in the church if they don't have this?" and "We can't follow culture downhill."
Of the 17 out of 30 who voted against allowing women, surely one of them based his decision on Scripture (and feels comfortable defending why some verses are culturally applicable and others irrelevant), but I'll be darned if I've heard it! Instead, in this mix of offensive and ridiculous reasons, I hear echoes of some very angry male congregants who voiced their opposition to women in office during "town hall" meetings. In their rants against women in office and women in general, they made it clear, there would be hell to pay (literally) if the measure passed. (Quick note: I realize many of you reading this agree with the angry men. Great. I respect your opinion. Now, deep breath. In, out. Read on.)
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 11, 2007 | Comments (35)
Working Like Unbelievers
In a recent interview with Rebecca Guillory Gilmer, vice president of The Impact Movement and Gifted For Leadership editorial advisor, the editors asked her what she considered the biggest pitfall to leaders in launching a new ministry. Here's what she had to say.
Whenever we launch something - in ministry particular - we tend to say we can do it because "God is leading. God is in it. This is something God is doing." At least, that's what we say. And then we go and fall in what I call "the pit" and completely ignore the contradiction between what we say and what we do.
Because you see, while we may say this - that it's up to God - we work like it's all on us, and that if we don't do it, it won't get done! And we work like unbelievers, although we talk like believers.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 30, 2007 | Comments (5)
Leading After Failed Change
It was Saturday and I was at home. So I was a little puzzled when I answered the doorbell to find the church's office manager dropping by. It was near Easter, and she had used the excuse of bringing some homemade treats over for my family as her reason to make the half-hour drive to my house. But there was more.
She also came by to let me know that she had found a job at another church and would be leaving her position in two weeks. We were good friends, and she wanted to be able to tell me in person, not over the phone or email. I thanked her for that, wished her well, closed the door, and sat down on the steps in shock. This was the sixth resignation from our small church's staff in five months. We were down to just two - myself and our youth director.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 13, 2007 | Comments (7)
Rest from the Race
Limp with exhaustion, I leaned into my husband's arms and buried my face against his shoulder. "I don't want to wait ?til heaven to not be tired." This was a pattern for me as I zealously strove to minister across the continent to women.
As women in ministry, the demand will always exceed the supply. There will always be far more ministry than we can accomplish personally. But even more importantly, we model the faith life, the trust life, for other women. When I read Jeremiah 50:6, addressed to the Israelites in captivity in Babylon, my heart sank to realize my own responsibility.
"My people have been lost sheep;
Their shepherds have led them astray
And caused them to roam on the mountains.
They wandered over mountain and hill
And forgot their resting place."
Who leads them astray, away from their Resting Place? Their shepherds.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 9, 2007 | Comments (6)
A New Conversation about Gender
This is Part III in a series of posts. Click here for Part I and here for Part II.
As questions of Christianity and gender are placed within the deeper context of ecclesiology (what is the Church and what is it supposed to accomplish) and "missiology" (what is the church's present context), the conversation will change substantively. Where the former dialogue has centered on equal gender influence within the top-down, institutional systems of modern Christendom, the new conversation reframes questions of gender outside of those systems. In the flattened, post-institutional realm shaped by the equalizing forces of digital communication and globalization, the focus must move to the people of God dispersed, a displacement more absolute than that of the first century. And in this new landscape of radical dispersion - beyond buildings, beyond programs, beyond pedestal personalities - what leadership qualities are most needed? What are the practices and gifts of those who minister well within such a context of deconstruction, chaos, and uncertainty?
To be certain, this reframed conversation is not for the faint of heart or closed of mind. The new frame of reference most needed may indeed be skewed toward the feminine. And if that skew is accurate, traditional gender conversations in the Church, i.e., the inclusion of women in essentially male systems, will seem like preschool banter compared to what it means to shift out of those systems altogether.
The encouraging news is, this new conversation is happening - perhaps at decibels audible only over quiet coffee tables, but it is happening.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on November 2, 2007 | Comments (18)
Food for Thought
The Church's response to homosexuality is often ambivalent. On the one hand, we talk about it all the time - pick up a Christian newsletter or magazine, and it is likely to reference current trends on the issue. On the other hand, we don't talk about it at all. The contradiction exposes our tendency to discuss the topic as an abstraction. We are comfortable talking about homosexuality as a moral or political concern, but uneasy talking to gays and lesbians. Thus, Christians will rally to fight gay marriage, but are slow to attend a conference on how to minister to homosexuals. Gay people are perceived, not as individuals with thoughts and feelings, but as a nameless, faceless group that marches in parades and has an "agenda."
The stereotype of gays as an anonymous subgroup outside the church made it difficult for me to come to terms with my own same-sex attractions. I never imagined I would end up gay. I was the good Christian girl who sang in the church choir, went on mission trips, and served as a leader in my youth group. I went to Bible college with dreams of being a missionary. Discovering my same-sex attractions, after falling in love with my best friend, shattered my world and challenged everything I believed about God and Christianity.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 21, 2007 | Comments (9)
Rise of the Postmodern Feminine: Part II
In her earlier post, "Rise of the Postmodern Feminine: Part I," Sally told the story of her friend Laurel's heartbreaking trauma and her life-changing ministries. This post continues her thoughts. - The Editors
Echoing the small-company, turn-on-a-dime world of Thomas Friedman's, The World is Flat: A Brief History of the 21st Century, Laurel is finding out just how well wired she is for the de-hierarchied, interactive landscape of the new millennium. She may have spent 30 long years burying huge chunks of her connective, collaborative self just to survive in a top-down model of religion, but no more. Here, in this incarnational space of ordinary life (i.e. stocking shelves at Target and blessing the masses with her e-devotional), Laurel is free to live and lead magnanimously, to function out of her authentic self: savvy, whole-brained, and refreshingly tuned to the now.
Laurel's field of choices and her effectiveness as a result of those choices are conspicuously off the radar in current discussions about women and leadership in the Church. Could it be that women have spent so long trying to climb the ladder inside old church and leadership systems that the very questions they're asking about gender equality, opportunity, and power are stuck?
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 19, 2007 | Comments (12)
Answering a "Real Simple" Question
One of my favorite luxuries is my magazines. I love to lounge, engulfed in my over-sized chair, sip a cup of tea, and page through my latest delivery. This time it was Real Simple. As I combed through the pages looking for the best way to simplify my life, I landed in the section called "Real Life." This section is dedicated to a Real Simple reader who shares part of her story.
When I came to the final paragraph, she was discussing the decision with which she was currently wrestling. Here was her dilemma: "My husband and I would like our daughter to have a strong sense of spirituality, but we prefer not to raise them with the traditional church background that we both had. How do we teach them to have a strong faith in God without a special congregation or place of worship that would guide them with formal religious customs?"
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 16, 2007 | Comments (20)
Food for Thought
Compare modern Christianity's quest for the perfect belief system to medieval church architecture. Christians in the emerging culture may look back on our doctrinal structures (statements of faith, systematic theologies) as we look back on medieval cathedrals: possessing a real beauty that should be preserved, but now largely vacant, not inhabited or used much anymore, more tourist attraction than holy place.
Many of us can't imagine this.
If Christianity isn't the quest for (or defense of) the perfect belief system ("the church of the last detail"), then what's left? In the emerging culture, I believe it will be "Christianity as a way of life," or "Christianity as a path of spiritual formation."
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 11, 2007 | Comments (5)
Church Builder Challenge
Im excited to tell you about it because we recently redesigned and upgraded the entire website to make it even more helpful to you in your ministry. If you havent seen Building Church Leaders, youll be amazed to see how many cutting-edge tools and training resources weve created to support you in your ministry.
In celebration of the launch of our new and improved site, Building Church Leaders has created Church Builder Challenge, a fun game where everyone wins free resources for ministry. You can try it here: Church Builder Challenge.
Posted by Amy Simpson on October 11, 2007 | Comments (0)
The Rise of the Postmodern Feminine: Part I
At five feet one, Laurel has never escaped the petite section at the local department store. But one thing is certain: Her faith does not match her dress size. Here is a woman who immerses herself in the Scriptures daily and who prays regularly for acquaintances, loved ones, unloved ones, and imperfect strangers. Laurel's faith is plus size and growing.
At face value, Laurel would seem like the poster child for one of those large evangelical women's conferences. The necessary trappings of conservative femininity are all there. At church, she wears over-the knee skirts that gather at the waist with bright but shapeless linen jackets. She's devoted to her family. Most of all, she acts the part. At least on the outside, she evidences a quiet, diligent spirit and a comfort with "working behind the scenes." In short, Laurel doesn't seem to have anything, do anything, or say anything that calls attention to herself.
That trait alone would be enough to elevate her to sainthood in some religious circles. Feminine invisibility and inaudibility may have been the battleground on which millions of women fought over the last century, but those qualities remain prerequisites to acceptability in more churches than we would imagine.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 5, 2007 | Comments (17)
Ideas for Women's Ministry
Last month, I wrote an article about Why I Don't Do Women's Ministry. It sparked quite a conversation. Obviously, women have some strong feelings and opinions on how to do women's ministry - and about their experiences in women's ministry programs.
This conversation was so lively and challenging, I knew I had to write a follow-up post in the hope that it will generate some ideas for how we might make women's ministries more effective.
Mostly, I'd like to hear your ideas. But in order to get this conversation started, let me share a few of my own:
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on September 28, 2007 | Comments (46)
Food for Thought
When we are alone, it's easy to think, incorrectly, that we are spiritually advanced. I can watch a Hallmark commercial alone and find myself moved to tears. I tell myself that I am a very compassionate person. But when I spend time in community with a person who annoys me, it's amazing how quickly I experience "compassion fatigue."
In community we discover who we really are and how much transformation we still require. This is why I am irrevocably committed to small groups. Through them we can accomplish our God-entrusted work to transform human beings.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 27, 2007 | Comments (2)
Why Women Pastors Make More
1. If you want to earn more, change denominations.
Briefly, if you want to earn more as a senior pastor, become a Presbyterian. If you want to earn more as a youth pastor, become a Baptist.
Presbyterian senior pastors earned the most in our survey - their average salary plus housing/parsonage was $78,000 - while Baptist senior pastors earned next to last--$67,000. But virtually the opposite was true for youth pastors. Baptist youth pastors earned near the top--$44,000 in salary plus housing - while Presbyterian youth pastors earned near the bottom--$36,000. Why?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 21, 2007 | Comments (20)
Making Ugly Beautiful
I just read a great news story: A woman raised over $7,000 for a local humane society by putting Michael Vick football cards, which had been chewed, slobbered, and generally destroyed by her dogs, for sale on eBay. I love this story for several reasons: 1.) I love dogs - particularly the "mean breeds" like pit bull terriers and Rottweilers (one of whom sits "purring" in his sleep at my feet); 2.) I hate dog-fighting and the "people" (monsters seems better) who participate in it even more than I hate puppy mills and the "people" who run them (as well pet stores who peddle the pups); 3.) I love anybody who supports her local animal shelter; and 4.) This woman is my kind of leader.
You know what I mean? The kind of woman who hears a story, sees an injustice, feels a pain, or gets dealt a blow, and instead of sitting back whining about it, says, "Huh. I can DO something about this." And she does. She sees the ugly and tries to make it beautiful.
My friend Betty is this kind of woman.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 31, 2007 | Comments (4)
Why I Dont Do Womens Ministry
I really hate those "home parties." You know, the ones where you go to someone's house and hear about the latest gadgets, skin care products, or overpriced home d?cor. The hostess serves brownies and everyone talks about their kids and how busy they are. Then the sales representative stands up and gives a hyper-peppy presentation punctuated by polite gasps of delight from the women packed in the living room.
A few of the women get really giddy about the whole thing and start ordering everything that catches their eye. Some of them find just a couple of things they like, grab another brownie, and head home. I twitch uncomfortably and look for the least expensive item on the order form. I feel obligated to order something. After all, the hostess cleaned her house and made snacks for us, and if I don't order she might not get her free "hostess gift."
Posted by Amy Simpson on August 28, 2007 | Comments (77)
What Women Wish Pastors Knew
The purpose of my new book, What Women Wish Pastors Knew, is simple: "To help today's pastor better understand women in the congregation so the pastor can better minister to them."
My research included survey responses from women ages 18 to 92, working both at home and outside the home in numerous occupations, high school to Ph.D.-educated, married and single, with and without children/grandchildren, and from more than 30 denominations. My mailbox, and email box, were overwhelmed with an unexpected avalanche of responses! (I'm onto a new project: What Pastors Wish Church Members Knew. If you'd like to help your pastor share - confidentially - hopes, hurts, needs, and dreams with church members, email me at cdwg@aol.com and request a "Pastor's Survey.")
When I reported the survey responses to groups at the National Pastor's Convention this past February, they listened eagerly, stated some shock at the findings, and pelted me with hard-hitting questions.
I knew I had hit a nerve.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on August 24, 2007 | Comments (23)
Food For Thought
Susan Perlman, associate executive director of Jews for Jesus and president of the board of the Interdenominational Foreign Mission Association of North America (IFMA), once asked Billy Graham, "If a woman feels the call to mission, is gifted for ministry and leadership, and comes up against a solid wall of resistance, what advice would you give her?" He said, "If God is leading her, she shouldn't take no for an answer."
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 20, 2007 | Comments (11)
On the Outside Looking In
I have often pondered these two sets of verses - positioned almost as brackets at the beginning and end of Proverbs, a book that understands and describes wisdom as she:
"Wisdom cries out in the street; in the squares she raises her voice. At the busiest corner she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks?" (Proverbs 1:20-21)
"Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land...Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates." (Proverbs 31: 23, 31)
Given that there aren't many places in Scripture where that pronoun is used, particularly as reflective of God and God's character, it's worth paying attention to - and finding comfort in. Even so, I have been wont to discover it in these particular passages.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on August 14, 2007 | Comments (28)
Full-Brained Leadership
The kick-off presenter at Willow Creek's 2007 Arts Conference was a renowned photographer. Twenty-some years with National Geographic, Dewitt Jones wowed the audience with his photos ? people and nature in rare and breathtaking candor. As the photos scrolled, he spoke of falling in love with life. Finding the extraordinary in the ordinary. Immersing oneself in the moment at hand and being fully, unabashedly aware.
To a few leaders looking for "the download," Dewitt's message may have seemed like a disconnect. They may have come for the latest trends in worship music. Tips to tweak their worship sets. Lessons in smooth segues. Places to get good drama scripts. New video and audio technologies.
But Dewitt wasn't speaking to any of this.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 20, 2007 | Comments (5)
Food for Thought
"I've had no control over so much of what's happened in the last five to six years. When Eva was 17, she ended up in an abusive relationship with a man seven years older than she. When she was 18, she was driving and had an accident with tragic consequences for her and for others. Then, after her accident, Eva got pregnant. Our son, Ethan, struggled with substance abuse, for which he received counseling. I actually remember walking down the hall at MOPS at one point thinking, If I quit, will Satan leave my kids alone? As if that would have changed all that had happened!"
--Elisa Morgan, CEO of MOPS International/Fulfill
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 19, 2007 | Comments (10)
The Genderless Gifts
GFL: What do women need to know about preaching or communicating gifts?
Jill Briscoe: I think they need to know everything men need to know. And I think thats something that needs to be said because there seems to be a growing awareness that women need equipping for the speaking. They need equipping for the speaking skills to use in church and mission, but there are a lot of programs beginning to be crafted for them that dont start with the communication basics that both men and women need.
And I think what we need to realize is that speaking, teaching, preaching are not gendered gifts. I dont believe gifts are gendered. Therefore, women need all the training you get in a seminary or other teaching institute.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 17, 2007 | Comments (10)
Whos Holding Up Your Arms?
Several years ago, when I was just beginning in ministry, I conducted a workshop at a women's retreat on the doctrine of vocation - and I was petrified. It was the first time I put together a comprehensive teaching session, the first time I delivered more than a 15 minute speech, and the first time I realized the value of having solid people to surround me when in a leadership position.
Before the workshop began, I shared my concerns with two special women: Ardath and Nancy. Ardath, ever the prayer warrior, prayed with me during the hour-long drive to the retreat center and Nancy, a longtime friend, offered me the support of her presence by sitting in on the workshop. Through them, I was able to find the strength and encouragement I needed to move forward through a moment of trepidation to do what God had called me to do.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 13, 2007 | Comments (6)
Impasse to Action
One of the great foilers of good intentions is "overwhelm-paralysis." The engulfing wave of global suffering can immobilize the most ardent leader. Gary Haugen, in Good News About Injustice, writes, "We feel like deer frozen by headlights . . . Instead of energizing us for action, the overwhelming injustice in our world actually makes us feel numb."
All of us, at one time or other, find ourselves here. When we do, it helps to learn from trailblazers who are forging ahead. One guiding light is Dr. Viji Cammauf - founder of Little Flock Children's Homes, an organization aspiring to reach orphans and widows worldwide.
Viji's overwhelm-paralysis hit after watching Bandit Queen. The film depicts the true story of a child-bride who endured savage abuse. For three days, Viji wept in despair. Until finally, she got up and asked herself, "What am I going to do about it?" At the time, she was minister of missions at First Covenant Church in Oakland, California. Her position provided a platform to rally like-minded supporters, and in 2005, Little Flock Children's Homes broke ground in Kondamangalam, India. To date, 10 cottages to house 100 children have been built. A dining hall, guest facility, and community center with library and computer lab are on the horizon. From impasse to action, Viji shares her insights:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 26, 2007 | Comments (7)
Tailor-Making Spiritual Formation
If I were to think of myself as the model godly woman, I'd picture myself sitting at the table in my breakfast nook, steam rising from the fresh cup of coffee in my hand, reading my study Bible and Beth Moore book by the rays of the early morning sunlight that stream through my windows, the faint sound of birds chirping in my flower-filled yard.
As I've struggled for years to reach this spiritual "ideal," I've finally realized there are a number of problems with it: 1. I don't like coffee; 2. I am not a morning person; 3. I have two young boys who fill the house with noise the minute they awaken; 4. I don't do flowers, just ask my husband; 5. I don't have any of Beth Moore's books.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to spiritual formation.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 19, 2007 | Comments (13)
The Audacity of Dreams
Dreams are powerful things. They help propel us forward in life. They are the aspirations of our hearts, and we hope, the framework of the extraordinary. For better or worse, what we think and what we dream tends to materialize. "As a person thinks in the heart, so a person becomes" (Proverbs 23:7).
The best dreams call us to our higher selves, participating creatively in the things and plans of God. Good dreams reflect a Philippians 4:8 orientation: "Brothers and sisters, think about things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected."
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 15, 2007 | Comments (8)
In Memory of Ruth Bell Graham
The following article was first published in June 2000 in CHRISTIANITY TODAY. Wendy Murray Zoba painted a beautiful picture of what Ruth Bell Graham called her "martyrdom of a long life." All of us at Gifted For Leadership extend our sympathy and prayers to the Graham family. Ruth was a leader we would all do well to follow - especially as her life pointed so clearly to Christ.--The Editors
I told my husband the other day that I didn't want to live to be old. I told him I thought the Lord would honor that prayer, and he said, "What makes you think he'd make an exception for you?"
Ruth Bell Graham once prayed the same prayer, more or less, when as a young girl she asked the Lord to let her die a martyr's death, preferably as an old-maid missionary in Tibet. Her life has been a testimony to that unanswered prayer.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 14, 2007 | Comments (38)
Off the Agenda Rocks
If you haven't read Off the Agenda lately, you are missing out. Take a minute and peruse the post this week by Sam O'Neal about the dangers of unintended curriculum. Also, this.
Posted by Rachel Willoughby on June 3, 2007 | Comments (0)
Loving Those We Lead
If you stay in ministry long enough, you will get hurt. In our small groups and church serving teams we can easily become close friends with those we lead. When hurt and disappointment inevitably comes, it's tempting to throw in the towel and quit, or at least to withdraw from the ones we are called to shepherd. Toxic cynicism can easily seep into our souls.
After one heart-crushing experience I was faced with a dilemma: As their leader, how was I to deal emotionally with hurtful people?
I searched through and earnestly prayed for guidance. John 13 caught my attention.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 1, 2007 | Comments (23)
Famished for God
Elizabeth Gilbert, a regular columnist for GQ magazine, has written a new book -
Eat, Play, Love - that traces the spiritual quest of a modern, educated, well-employed American. When I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. As a woman, a Christian, and an anthropologist, I recommend it.
Like Liz, a lot of our friends and colleagues want a richer spiritual experience, but they aren't looking for it in the church. It's in the ashram that Liz feels that she grows spiritually. By the end of her stay (1) she forgives her ex-husband (and herself), (2) she learns to enjoy her own company, and (3) she experiences spiritual power and a brief blissful "union" with all that exists.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 28, 2007 | Comments (4)
The Heart of a Servant Leader
"Don't just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ's servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you're really serving God."--Ephesians 6:6 (The Message)
The heart is the very seat of our soul, our emotions, and our passions. It is the very essence of our being and that which drives our thoughts and our motives. No wonder God tells us to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23).
The heart of a leader is the foundation of her life. It is what drives her passion for the Lord and her passion for service in the kingdom. No doubt most of us feel called to lead in a deep way from the bottom of our hearts.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 11, 2007 | Comments (14)
3 Temptations of Leadership, Part 3
In previous posts, I mentioned Henri Nouwen's book In the Name of Jesus, in which Nouwen used the story of Jesus' temptation in the desert (Matthew 4:1-11) to show how we as leaders are tempted, and how we must embrace Christ's attitude of humility and service to others.
I've already written about Nouwen's descriptions of Jesus' first second temptations: the temptation to be relevant and the temptation to be spectacular. The third temptation is this: to be powerful. Satan took Jesus to a mountaintop and tempted him to bow down and worship Satan. And in return, he promised to give Jesus power over all the kingdoms of the world.
Posted by Amy Simpson on May 8, 2007 | Comments (19)
Redeeming the Passion Within
My soul felt trapped. Trapped in a life that should have brought peace and contentment, but instead brought anguish, depression, and unfulfillment. There was a passion burning inside me that I could not contain, but neither could I release. God kept stoking my internal fire by fueling two deep convictions: 1) our just God abhors the injustices of poverty and racial/cultural discrimination, and 2) as a follower of Christ, I am called, commanded, and expected to do something about those injustices.
Today, my soul knows freedom, and I am blessed to have a career at Community Christian Church that allows me to unleash my passion every day. But that journey of redemption was not a quick or easy one.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 1, 2007 | Comments (12)
Effective Mentoring
Last week, we released a new downloadable resource from GiftedForLeadership.com called "Effective Mentoring." For the many of you who purchased this, we wanted to make sure you had a forum to discuss your thoughts on it. We'll be doing this after each new downloadable resource is made available. Here's a snippet from one of the download's featured articles, "Time to Mentor" by Lesa Engelthaler. Let us know what you think! --The Editors
Much of my formative spiritual growth resulted from older Christian women saying yes to my cries for help. I was clueless about the sacrifice they made to add me to their schedules. They were busy pastors' wives, college professors, or women with careers, all deeply involved in ministry. Even so, these women took time to invest in me. Because of their modeling, I felt compelled to do unto others what they had done unto me.
Yet, as I grew older and "did the math," mentoring one woman a year didn't seem enough. In 1996, I prayed for God to show me other women in our church with the same passion. The answer to that prayer was for me to begin a program to partner women one-on-one for a one-year commitment.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 30, 2007 | Comments (14)
Leading Volunteers
Since many of us who serve in ministry end up leading volunteers, the editors at Gifted for Leadership wanted to find out how leading volunteers differed from leading paid staff. So I went to Nancy Beach, a teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church as well as a GFL editorial advisor, who has vast experience in leading staff, volunteers, and the staff who lead volunteers. Below is an excerpt from our conversation:
What is the difference between leading a group of volunteers and leading paid staff?
My very first reaction is there aren't a lot of differences. I think many times we think because people aren't getting paid then they're automatically motivated differently or that they need to be led differently. But what I've observed over the last several years is that in church work, the staff isn't in it for the money anyway - they are motivated by someone who is leading them toward a cause. And I think the vision of what you're trying to do and why has to be really clear for both volunteers and staff.
So it's about getting people excited about your vision, whether they're paid or unpaid.
Yes. But then the other thing that's so clear to me is that both volunteers and staff people, if they're really going to make it - go the distance and hang with you for a long time - it's going to be because of another need being fulfilled, which I think is community.
I think it's so important for both volunteers and staff to feel somebody knows them, knows their life outside of the church, cares about their personal struggles and their family and health and things like that. So I've just been very intentional about that.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 24, 2007 | Comments (11)
Announcing Gifted for Leadership Resources!
I have exciting news! Gifted for Leadership is now more than just a blog and an e-mail newsletter. As if we didn't have enough excitement around here?This week, we're launching our very first downloadable resource created specifically for women leaders. These short booklets offer collections of expert advice, biblical perspective, stories, practical ideas, and leadership tools to inspire and challenge you.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on April 11, 2007 | Comments (2)
A Woman's Role
In my last post, I directed you to a YouTube clip of Lucas Labrador discussing the emerging church. As a follow-up, you might want to watch another clip of Lucas Labrador, addressing a different topic: A Christian Woman's Role.
As with the last clip, the views presented are extreme and controversial. So why bring them up for discussion? Because they are part of our context. To be faithful to God means to consider our whole context - the time, place, and philsophical/theological milieu in which we are born. (God always places his people in context...we can't avoid being tied to a particular time and place. See Philippians 2:5-11 for the context chosen for Jesus). Jesus paid divine attention to what was going on in the culture of his day. And this attention included the scriptural bents and interpretations of those considered on the extreme of religiosity (zealots, Pharisees, Sadducees). Why did he engage them, if they were just "lunatics" - on the edge?
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on April 9, 2007 | Comments (3)
The Emerging Church
The church is changing. It is changing globally and it is changing exponentially. And wherever there is change, there is inevitably reaction to change. That's what this post is about. As leaders, what do change and the reaction to change mean for us? We can talk all we want about what it means to be female and a leader inside old wineskins?old systems of operating, old ways of working in God's kingdom. But we must remember: We cannot separate how we lead from the systems within which we are all embedded. Much as we would like to, we cannot ignore our own calling as leaders to help re-form the organizations in which we work. For leadership is inextricably tied to the forms we make. To accept those forms without question is to deny calling: the creative force of God at work within us and through us.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on April 6, 2007 | Comments (3)
Following a Tough Call
Do you have a passion that burns deep in your core? A drive like a pile of red, hot, fiery coals that you just can't contain? I don't mean a strong desire to go shopping or an intense craving for chocolate. I'm talking about a passion to make a difference, to change the world, to impact a life, to fight for a cause. Do you feel that kind of drive?
If so, what are you doing to set it free? Or do you feel you have you waited too long - stifling your passion to raise kids or climb a career ladder?
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 31, 2007 | Comments (8)
Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary (Part 2)
In my previous post, I listed three ways to develop a vision when you're not a visionary. Here are three more:
4. Listen to the people you want to help. You don't have to be great at coming up with vision, if you're willing to listen to the people you want to help. If you listen well, people will tell you what they really need. In other words, the people you want to serve help set your vision.
Continue reading...Posted by Kevin Miller on March 28, 2007 | Comments (4)
Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary (Part 1)
My wife, Karen, and I are both in leadership at our church. So dinner-table discussions often come back to how to help other Christians step into leadership. Volunteers tell us, "I might be willing to facilitate, but I'm not sure I'm a leader." People don't consider themselves leaders, because when they say leader, they think of only one type: a strong, visionary leader. And they know they're not that.
But you don't have to be a visionary to lead well. We've found we can help people move forward as leaders when we say to them, "You can develop a vision even if you're not a visionary." Here are six ways that mortals like us can see where a group needs to go:
Continue reading...Posted by Kevin Miller on March 20, 2007 | Comments (9)
Leading with One Voice
Back in 2004, I found myself in a remarkable place: sitting with a group of doctors in the government offices of Tegucigalpa, Honduras, on an AIDS fact-finding trip. As a stay-at-home mom of three, this was not my usual stomping ground.
But several years ago Bono, the lead singer of the rock band U2, came through the Midwest on his Heart of America Tour. While it was Bono's star power that drew me that night, it was the presentation on the ravishing effects of extreme poverty and the spread of HIV/AIDS that changed my life.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 12, 2007 | Comments (6)
Womens Ministry that Works
Several years ago, my close friend "Sally" began her journey toward knowing Jesus - on that same well-worn path where so many of us have met God. When she became a Christian, I was thrilled that my brave, sassy friend understood what it meant to be loved by God.
But as Sally began to know Jesus and get more deeply involved at church, I noticed something happening. To make time for all the appropriate Bible studies, small groups, and other ministries she dutifully joined, she had to drop that step class at the gym that she really loved. People from the church kept calling and asking, so she kept joining and volunteering. To make time for these commitments, she quit her extra job - the one she did for "fun money," the one at the trendy bar and grill where so many people knew and loved her.
One day I called her to see if we could meet for coffee and catch up. Nope. Sally was too busy, and it would be another week before her church schedule opened up for me. I was hurt. I felt robbed, as if the church came and snatched Sally right out of my living room and locked her in the fellowship hall.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on February 23, 2007 | Comments (11)
Fulfilling God-Sized Dreams
I remember my husband saying to me one day, "It must be tiring to be you!" He was observing my intensity, and just watching me in action made him tired. Over the years, God has taught me that even though he wants us to make our moments count, what he doesn't want is for us to think that we can make life happen. The fact is, fallen humanity could not possibly accomplish anything of spiritual eternal value on its own. God's Word reminds us in Isaiah 64:6: "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away" (NIV). Jesus tells us in John 15:5-6: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" (NIV).
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on February 20, 2007 | Comments (7)
Designed for Diversity
"I thought planning women's programs would be easier," sighs the leader of women's ministries as she sits down in the pastor's office.
"What seems to be the problem?" he asks.
"Well, the women in our church are so different. There's Barb, who runs her own company. We designed an evening Bible study for her and some others, but since she is away from her family all day, she'd be more interested in attending a couples' Bible study with her husband.
"Then there's Mary, who's home with kids all day, every day. She wants to get together with other mothers - anytime, anywhere, as long as she can get a break from her kids.
"Beth has a part-time, home-based business and doesn't know if she fits better with the career women's breakfast or the Mothers of Preschoolers.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 22, 2007 | Comments (4)
Do We Need a Space to Serve?
This week, I spoke to a woman who has been given a large degree of influence in an evangelical megachurch. Lately, this influence is increasing. Terry spends most of her time in hands-on direction of eight of the most visible, crucial ministry teams in the congregation. And you guessed it. She's so good at what she does, her "superiors" can give her the toughest jobs and she'll accomplish the tasks. In spades. And if anything's going awry, she's the one who is asked to step in to fix it.
In addition to the hands-on work she does with the eight teams, Terry has also been spending a great deal of time lately in high-level visioning sessions with the head pastors of the church. Evidently, there is some serious "re-think" going on regarding the church's identity and how to do God's work in 2007, given the massive cultural shifts since the church's inception in the 1980s.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 19, 2007 | Comments (31)
Gifts, not Guilt
Having spent the majority of my working life in professional ministry, I can testify heartily to its rewards. Of course, the benefits of working in ministry don't come in the form of the hefty pay packages my friends in the "secular" world enjoy. The true payoff - at least for me - in ministry work has been the opportunity to use and sharpen my God-given passions, talents, and gifts for something - excuse the clich?- - I believe in. I hope that this is true for those of you who use your gifts in ministry.
But I've also seen many of my friends not so pleased with their ministry experiences - be it in church or in some other type of ministry. This surprised me most with a couple of my friends who are natural leaders in other spheres of life, but who flounder when it comes to finding their niche serving at church. That is, until I realized something: They were trying to use their leadership skills in ways that didn't match their other gifts at all.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 16, 2007 | Comments (16)
Welcome to Gifted for Leadership!
Welcome to Gifted for Leadership! This blog is designed specifically for Christian women who are capable, called, and gifted leaders. Unfortunately, many Christian women in leadership feel alone in their calling. They need a place where they can converse about the issues they face, encourage one another, and challenge each other. They want something different from the women's ministry resources and events that discuss issues unique to women. They want tools that visit topics that are not unique to women, but that approach them from a woman's perspective.
That's why we're producing a free monthly e-mail newsletter (have you signed up?), this blog, and - coming soon - a collection of downloadable booklets. These tools will equip, encourage, challenge, and unite women who exercise leadership gifts in church and parachurch ministry, in business, and at home. They'll also build a community of women with leadership gifts who can challenge and support one another and grow together.
This site is a resource of Christianity Today International, produced in partnership with the editors of LEADERSHIP JOURNAL. I'm very excited to launch this blog and to tell you about our Gifted for Leadership philosophy:
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 10, 2007 | Comments (69)
Does the Bible Really Say I Cant Teach Men?
I grew up in England with a queen on the throne and was educated at an all-girls' school and women's college in Cambridge by gifted females (and led to Christ by a female medical professional). So after becoming a Christian, imagine my dismay when I first joined a church where women weren't allowed to do any of the things in which I knew they excelled!
Later as a budding Bible teacher, I was asked by male church leaders to speak to young women and men in an outreach our congregation hosted. But others challenged my participation. I became hurt and confused. It wasn't that these challengers thought I shouldn't be exercising my gifts - that they believed "God thought" I shouldn't! This went against the very root of my identity and calling.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 6, 2007 | Comments (32)
