Leading Men at Work
How to lead men in a professional setting: I’ll admit I don’t have much to say on this topic. It’s not because I haven’t led men, and it’s not because the topic doesn’t matter. It’s because I don’t think a lot needs to be said. When women lead men in their work, gender doesn’t have to be an issue.
In general, women with leadership gifts know how to lead people. And as you practice your skills and receive training, you grow in those abilities and hone your instincts. If you can successfully lead women, you should be able to successfully lead men. Whether gender becomes an issue is largely up to you.
So how can you keep it from becoming an issue? Cover the basics. If you’re charged with leading men in a professional setting, here are five ways you can apply good leadership principles to leading them:
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on September 23, 2008 | Comments (3)
When Women Lead Like Women
The vice-presidential nomination of Sarah Palin has led to all kinds of interesting conversations in the media. And while many of those conversations raise plenty of pertinent questions, I’ve been struck by the underlying assumptions about what makes a person a qualified leader.
Granted, “qualified” takes on a whole new kind of weight when we’re talking about the presidency (or vice-presidency in Palin’s case) but even as these conversations trickle down into bus stop chats and water cooler debates, the operating understanding of leadership has a distinctly male bent to it. We want to know if Palin is decisive. If she’s tough. If she can battle corruption and stand up to our enemies. We assume that these are all givens when it comes to making someone a leader. But are they the only qualities that count?
Those of us who have been in leadership positions for more than a half an hour know that the biggest challenge is often proving that we can lead like men, that we can be decisive and tough and wage battle for the sake of our cause.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 12, 2008 | Comments (6)
The Little-by-Little Principle
Change is a constant in today’s world, impacting our personal and professional lives. Change comes in all shapes and sizes: there are small adjustments that we need to make in what we are doing, then there are the more significant changes where we plot our course, thinking through what we will do and how we will do it.
And then there is transformational change: doing something we have never done before. This is the most challenging type of change because we may not even be able to reach out to others for experienced advice. Here is where I think God’s principle of “little by little” applies. It can be both a comfort and helpful instruction to see us through the difficult process of change.
It was a season of transformational change where God revealed his little-by-little principle to the children of Israel. They had been delivered from slavery in Egypt and were now in the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 1, 2008 | Comments (3)
Workplace War with the Armor of God
Several years ago, the company I worked for was undergoing massive changes. Until then, I’d been on a wonderful team of encouraging leaders and friends. We were building our side of the business and seeing great success. We were thrilled to be a part of it. Then, before we knew what hit us, people were being downsized and company holdings were sold.
In an attempt to take market share, our company purchased another business that targeted a niche market. Within a few months, one of their managers pressed his way into a corporate VP position. We were stunned to find that this person we barely knew would have control over the business we’d built for years.
Not your typical executive, his spiky hair laid in rows set by the overuse of gel. He wore shiny silk shirts that were always left open to expose his gold chains. His favorite expletive broke a commandment—a phrase he favored enough to use in nearly every sentence he spoke. He regularly told me that we needed to have a “Come to Jesus” meeting, meaning I needed to stop opposing him and take on his viewpoint.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 10, 2008 | Comments (5)
Food for Thought
Good parents openly affirm their children: “We appreciate your good behavior.” Or, “You're doing a great job in school.” They also know when to discipline: “If you jump on your bed again, you will be punished.” Thus, children know where they stand and what they need to do.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on May 19, 2008 | Comments (0)
The Cost of Principled Leadership
Nobody likes a party pooper. Worse yet, a naysayer or “doom and gloomer” can get in the way of any one of our best laid plans for the future. But we all have had those moments in our lives when we have been convicted. And sometimes that conviction comes to us gently, nudging us to change gears, redirect our thoughts, or to have a total change of heart—to see things more clearly. Sometimes conviction may not come so easily, perhaps through intense trials, pain, and struggles. But no matter how convictions come to us, they have the strengthen a new resolve in us that spurs us onto new levels of leadership, causing us to have a wider area of influence and impact.
Yet, this “principled” leadership is costly. And it’s different than being a naysayer or party pooper, whose motive may be a bad attitude or disagreeable spirit and typically has the effect of just producing guilt or anger in us—versus true conviction. Principled leadership requires, well, principles. Not thoughts, opinions, preferences, or tastes. And principles, if properly grounded in truth, become the foundation of our convictions, which allow us to stand firm, address unpopular opinions, cut through the emotional and murky waters and Lord willing, do the right thing and lead others to follow in doing the right thing.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 18, 2008 | Comments (6)
March Madness: 5 Life Lessons From Basketball
Basketball. It’s on everyone’s mind right now. Whether you like to play it, watch it, or just endlessly fill in and refill in brackets; basketball is the sport of the moment.
It’s also my favorite sport…I’ve played since I was old enough (and far enough away from the ground) to start dribbling. I can still hear my dad: “Take the ball with you to the post office and dribble the whole way. You’ll never get better if you don’t practice, practice, practice…and don’t just use your right hand either!” So I would put my right hand behind my back and make myself dribble with only my left hand all the way to the post office and back (using my right hand to carry the mail on the way home).
Challenging myself to grow in weak areas wasn’t the only life lesson I took away from my years of basketball…here are four more – random, unrelated, and in no particular order:
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on March 28, 2008 | Comments (1)
The Women Out There
Quick confession: I google myself fairly frequently. I didn’t really do this—much—until last summer, when a friend emailed to let me know she had googled me and found that I popped up as an acrostic on some random man’s website. That got me wondering what else was out there.
In addition to all the usual suspects—links to the articles I’ve written, my blog, this blog, to other work I’ve done—my name occasionally pops up in a couple of less-than-pleasing places: There’s a “Christian” site that attacks both me and the company behind Gifted For Leadership for a post I wrote last summer about Harry Potter (though I have to admit, I got a smile out of their calling Christianity Today, “Christianity Astray.” While I disagree with the assessment, I thought the word play was pretty good. I digress…) A search of my name sometimes brings up some rather troubling “spanking” sites—all because I once wrote an article called, “To Spank or Not To Spank” about disciplining your child. Never in my life did I think my name could be linked to some freaky fetish or porn sites, but alas, it is.
Finding these reminded me of something I heard a politician say at a charity fundraiser last fall. He said he thinks people hesitate to step up to the leadership plate for two reasons: One, they don’t want to bear responsibility. And two, they don’t want to put themselves “out there”—for criticism, mocking, skanky fetish site, what-have-you.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 26, 2008 | Comments (19)
Confrontational Compassion
Donald P. McNeill in Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life offers a profound perspective: “Honest, direct confrontation is a true expression of compassion... The illusion of power must be unmasked, idolatry must be undone, oppression and exploitation must be fought, and all who participate in these evils must be confronted. This is compassion.” Not quite the way we usually define the word, is it? But so very compelling.
As a woman in leadership I am almost daily aware of and impacted by the realities of power, idolatry, oppression and exploitation. Unfortunately, more times than not, when I’m confronted by such darkness, compassion (at least as I’ve understood it previously) has not been my intuitive, spontaneous response.
What if it were, but as defined anew by McNeill?
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 8, 2008 | Comments (10)
Create a Culture of Mentorship
“Mentoring,” says the late Fred Smith Sr. in his book Leading with Integrity, “is back in favor again, like a wonderful old story that hasn’t been told for so long it sounds new.”
Then he succinctly explains the danger of that dynamic.
“In some ways it has taken on the characteristics of a fad; if too much is expected too soon, it will fail.”
Much like Smith, I have listened in recent years to the growing chorus of voices insisting younger people like me need a mentor, an individual who can listen and provide sage wisdom to me in my faith, my marriage, my parenting, my career, and my leadership. Almost all of those messages have come at me as I sit in the pews of the churches I’ve attended. Unfortunately, none of these churches effectively found ways to orchestrate meaningful mentoring relationships between older and younger congregants.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 1, 2008 | Comments (1)
Leading Your Leaders
For more discussion about this blog entry, check out the conversation on our sister site for church leaders, Off the Agenda.
As a leader, it's easy to understand and embrace your responsibility for those entrusted to your leadership. But how often do you think about your responsibility to lead your leaders? Try these 10 strategies for exercising your leadership skills in relationship to those who lead you.
1. Pray for them. This is pretty self-explanatory. Everyone needs prayer, and people in leadership often need extra doses of God’s wisdom.
2. Care about them. Sometimes we’re so intimidated by our leaders, or eager to get their feedback, that we forget they’re real people with real lives and challenges. Think about ways to encourage your leaders. Ask them how they’re doing and how you can serve them.
3. Make them look good. Servant leadership means supporting others in their efforts. Instead of giving in to the temptation to undermine leaders when their weaknesses show, find ways to compensate for their shortcomings.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on December 14, 2007 | Comments (4)
Madam President?
We’ve never been so close to the possibility of electing a female president of the United States. We’ll soon see early indicators of whether Hillary Clinton will be among the candidates voters will consider at this time next year. But while this would be a first for the U.S., women certainly have been charged with such influence before.
“Women & Power” are the words on the cover of the October 15 issue of Newsweek. Much of the magazine is devoted to stories of women in powerful positions and how they got there. One particularly intriguing article, “In All Their Glory,” briefly recalls the lives of Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Margaret Thatcher, and other women who have led nations. The article suggests that as we head into an election year with a female candidate as the arguable frontrunner, we may look to the past for models of how women wield power.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on November 27, 2007 | Comments (8)
Leading Anxious People through Change
When my daughter was getting ready to enter second grade, she was really anxious. Every time we asked her how she felt about it, she said she was scared and nervous and she didn’t want to go to second grade—ever.
We talked about her feelings and tried to figure out why she felt so anxious. She couldn’t really explain it. Then one day, after I asked her to tell me what she thought would be the worst thing about second grade, I realized that she had no idea what second grade would be like. Between kindergarten and first grade, we had moved across the country and settled in a whole new community and (obviously) a whole new school. Everything had started over for her. She didn’t realize that going to second grade wouldn’t involve so much transition. In fact, it would look a whole lot like first grade.
Posted by Amy Simpson on October 30, 2007 | Comments (5)
Talking to Men
Men love to be respected, and they hate to be disrespected, especially by a woman. Though women in the church already know this, they don’t always realize what showing respect to men entails. From a woman’s perspective, it isn’t necessarily disrespectful, for instance, to interrupt a man mid-sentence. Though to him it may appear that she simply cut him off—which is obviously disrespectful—to her she just got excited and overlapped his speech—which is perfectly acceptable, even affirming.
According to Deborah Tannen in You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, women typically talk simultaneously to each other. To them, doing so is natural, not rude. Women, therefore, may be less sensitive than men to how offensive interrupting can be.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 22, 2007 | Comments (18)
Working to Serve or Serving the Work?
We recently had a “worst or weirdest job ever” conversation among the adults in our Sunday school class at church. One friend had spent two years collecting umbilical cords for research (i.e. personally picking them up, packaging them, and taking them back to the lab in her car); another had worked the graveyard shift at a cherry-packing factory, quickly grabbing rotten cherries off the line…all night long.
My contribution to the discussion was one of my first jobs ever—a regular babysitting gig as a young teen. After several afternoons with the three kids and their “adorable” shih tzu named Buddy, I reported to my dad how cute it was that Buddy kept hugging my leg all the time. Needless to say, I nearly puked when my dad explained to me what all the “hugging” really was!
All joking aside, we all know from experience that sometimes work can feel frustrating, monotonous, exhausting, and unsatisfying. Whether you’re leading meetings in a board room or are at home washing dishes, your “work” consumes at least a third of your life.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 18, 2007 | Comments (11)
The Age of the Quiet Influencer
I was recently part of a think-tank discussion for a company launching a new product. One of the most compelling voices around the table was Doug: creative, master-mind in the resort industry. Manages scores of hotels and ski operations in the US and Canada.
From the get-go, Doug stood out. He seemed to occupy so little space (read: had one very intact ego.) He spoke in sound-bites, questions, and “what ifs.” But most of the time, he was listening. Intently. With eye-contact, slight nodding, open body posture. Whoever was speaking received Doug’s undivided attention. But it was the kind of attention that was comforting and scary at the same time. Because Doug had this way of keying into both ideas and the person behind the ideas: in a nano-second, he seemed to be able to size up what made you tick.
As the discussion progressed, there were disagreements, ranging from mild to heated. At a couple of points, the disagreements escalated to shouting matches across the table. I was curious to see what Doug saw—how he had translated those moments. After dinner on the second day, I was able to ask Doug his impressions of the skirmishes. He was characteristically laser-like but, more importantly, compassionate in his description of the individuals involved:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on September 7, 2007 | Comments (4)
Apologies That Work
One thing we as women leaders need to ask ourselves is, Are we to follow traditional models or seek to break new ground? If we’re interested in breaking new ground, I think one of the best ways to integrate our instinctive feminine strengths into our leadership is by setting a positive example with by the transparency of our apologies.
Isn’t it sad that apologies are often seen as a sign of weakness and associated with the “weaker” sex? Yet, it takes great strength to humble yourself and offer the gift of a meaningful apology.
Scripture instructs that whether we are the offender or the offended, the onus is on us to seek restoration in our relationships.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 31, 2007 | Comments (8)
Edit Your Schedule, Practice Self-Control
I had a couple of ruthless high school English teachers who routinely “bled” across my and my classmates’ papers with their red pens—fabulous teachers who taught us to write. One point they eventually got across is how much harder it is to write a short paper than a long one. This is counterintuitive but true. Today this point re-emerges when a client is relieved to learn that a permitted proposal length is only 25 pages instead of 100... And I have to explain that the short proposal will actually be a lot more work than the longer one would have been.
Why is producing a short document—a quality one, I mean—usually harder than producing a long one? Because each word in a short document must be well chosen, providing a comprehensive picture in a limited space. This takes planning, editing, and painstaking revising. And the writer can’t indulge in any luxuries a longer text affords—lengthy explanations, sidebars, a little redundancy.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 7, 2007 | Comments (13)
Leading toward a Higher Purpose
It is a simple proposition: In a culture of abundance, the greatest luxury is meaning. What does my life mean? What am I doing here? Do I matter? Is there more to existence than consumption? Are we called to improve the lives of our fellow human beings? Are we called to take care of the earth? Is it really possible for one person to make a difference?
If the above proposition is true and people in Western culture are looking for significance, then those who lead will understand this shift and will act accordingly. They will engage their staff and their organizations in higher purposes than simply making a bigger profit this year than last or beating out their competition. They will inspire people at every level of their companies and institutions to live into their potential. Not just because they want to be at the top of their game, but because how they do their job affects the quality of life in their community, nation, and just possibly, the rest of the world.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 5, 2007 | Comments (2)
Leading with Low Expectations
A few weeks ago, I caught a segment on one of the morning news shows in which they featured the happiest country in the world, according to some new study. The country? Denmark. The reason? It is a country of low expectations. No lie. That was the reason given. Happy-enough looking Danes were interviewed and offered their support for this claim. They didn’t really dream big and thus were never disappointed, most said. Voila! Happy!
As a red-blooded American raised firmly on the Puritan Work Ethic and the notion of having great expectations, this jolted my sensibilities. And it still does, except for one small thing: I’ve put this notion to work a couple times, and it’s paid off nicely. While I’m not a big happiness-seeker in that I don’t generally chase whatever I fancy might make me happy (I know better than that), once I learned the Danes are the happiest and Americans tend to be among the most unhappy people on earth, I thought a little experiment couldn’t hurt.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 14, 2007 | Comments (15)
Antidote to Overachievement
I succumb to a number of leadership pitfalls. One of those is the neglect of presence, translated: I’m so busy doing the work of leadership that I sacrifice being for doing, and worse, believe the lie that success rests entirely on my shoulders. It is the Elijah syndrome—the overachievement complex—and I have it.
One of the sure antidotes to an unhealthy focus on self-determination is prayer and meditation. But that’s hard for a Type A to do. When I finally carve out the time to be quiet, how can I shut off my overdeveloped left brain? I’m either trying to unravel what happened yesterday (making a list of the problems) or engineering the future, making an equally long list of solutions. Yep, that’s me…analyzer and a fixer. And enough of a loner that my mantra tends to be “Unless I do it, it’s not going to get done.” Sound familiar? As if us trees really move the wind.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on April 20, 2007 | Comments (16)
Announcing Gifted for Leadership Resources!
I have exciting news! Gifted for Leadership is now more than just a blog and an e-mail newsletter. As if we didn’t have enough excitement around here…This week, we’re launching our very first downloadable resource created specifically for women leaders. These short booklets offer collections of expert advice, biblical perspective, stories, practical ideas, and leadership tools to inspire and challenge you.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on April 11, 2007 | Comments (2)
Leaders Take Responsibility
Would you would like to be rising to a higher level of leadership in your organization or ministry, but aren’t? Have you ever considered what might be holding you back? To rise to a higher level of leadership, it is imperative that you hold yourself accountable for your actions so that you are ready for the responsibility that comes with new positions.
Take Janet: She’s been the high school girls youth leader at the church for three years. During those years, several troubled teens have been positively impacted: remaining in school, changing their attitudes, and becoming more responsible. Because of these successes, Janet thought things were going well. However, many of the parents are upset about how the youth ministry is being handled. Most of the events on the youth calendar are posted “just in time” rather than being posted in advance, so parents don’t know what to expect and can’t plan for their youths’ activities. Recently, Janet planned a ministry trip; however, when parents asked practical questions about what time the vans would leave and how much money to bring along, Janet didn’t have the answers. This has caused much frustration.
When Janet talked with her pastor about this, he told her that she needs to focus on details and on providing information for the parents, not just on relationships with the girls. He has also asked her to work with a coach.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 9, 2007 | Comments (4)
Work Is a Sacred Trust
The summer I was 15, I locked myself in the bathroom. Not for the typical reasons. There was no fight with my parents or disappointing love interest. I wasn’t trying to hide tears or cool down a temper. I had just received my first paycheck.
It wasn’t just the paycheck I loved. That was just symbolic. It was work I loved. I loved the feeling of doing something that mattered, something that helped other people, something that I could accomplish.
Growing up, I awoke each morning to the smell of coffee and the sight of my dad in his crisp white shirt and tie, sitting at the breakfast table reading the newspaper. His aftershave gently filled the room and there was a sense of anticipation in him as he readied to start the work day. My dad loved what he did, and he was good at it. That was a dynamic combination.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 22, 2007 | Comments (20)
3 Temptations of Leadership, Part 1
About 12 years ago, when my husband was in seminary, he read Henri Nouwen’s book In the Name of Jesus for one of his classes. This book dramatically affected my husband, and he encouraged me to read it. So I did, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
This little book (one of Nouwen’s many) presents a powerful summary of what it means to be servant leaders. Nouwen used the story of Jesus’ temptation in the desert (Matthew 4:1-11) as a framework to show how we as leaders are tempted—and how we must embrace Christ’s attitude of humility and service to others.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on March 6, 2007 | Comments (25)
Witnessing from Weakness at Work
One of the greatest shames of my life is that never once during my first job out of college did I share the Gospel with any of the people I worked with. While my friends there certainly knew I graduated from a Christian college, went to church, and believed in God, in several years of working together that was all they knew about faith in my life. At the time, my focus was so much on learning the ins and outs of magazine publishing and meeting my earthly achievement goals (after all, this was my dream!), that I failed to see the people around me as lost souls in need of a Savior and instead saw them as people to laugh with and learn from.
Though I know I’m forgiven for this sin, to this day I can’t think of certain colleagues without wincing—and praying that they are surrounded by Christians, who, unlike me, dare share their faith at work.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 5, 2007 | Comments (12)
Climbing the Corporate Web
Sally Helgeson wrote The Female Advantage in the 1990s. This was a classic, paradigm-changing book about how women’s leadership styles and gifts are changing the face of organizations. Her subsequent work, The Web of Inclusion, continued the conversation, exploring how women leaders prefer to work in flattened, inter-woven organizational structures—literally, webs of relationships. And through these webs of connection, women maximize productivity and innovation.
In The Web of Inclusion, Helgeson describes some of the common leadership practices of the successful women she researched:
“The women I studied built profoundly integrated and organic organizations in which the focus was on nurturing good relationships; in which the niceties of hierarchical rank and distinction played little part; and in which lines of communication were multiple, open, and diffuse. I noted that the women tended to put themselves at the center of their organizations rather than at the top, emphasizing both accessibility and equality, and that they labored constantly to include people in their decision-making. This had the effect of undermining the boundaries so characteristic of mainstream organizations, with their strict job descriptions, categorization of people according to rank, and restrictions on the flow of information.”
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 1, 2007 | Comments (7)
Welcome to Gifted for Leadership!
Welcome to Gifted for Leadership! This blog is designed specifically for Christian women who are capable, called, and gifted leaders. Unfortunately, many Christian women in leadership feel alone in their calling. They need a place where they can converse about the issues they face, encourage one another, and challenge each other. They want something different from the women’s ministry resources and events that discuss issues unique to women. They want tools that visit topics that are not unique to women, but that approach them from a woman’s perspective.
That’s why we’re producing a free monthly e-mail newsletter (have you signed up?), this blog, and—coming soon—a collection of downloadable booklets. These tools will equip, encourage, challenge, and unite women who exercise leadership gifts in church and parachurch ministry, in business, and at home. They’ll also build a community of women with leadership gifts who can challenge and support one another and grow together.
This site is a resource of Christianity Today International, produced in partnership with the editors of LEADERSHIP JOURNAL. I’m very excited to launch this blog and to tell you about our Gifted for Leadership philosophy:
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 10, 2007 | Comments (68)
Character Leading
Almost all of us agree that good character is the centerpiece of authentic first-rate leadership. Good character is the key to good leadership because people tend to follow whatever standard the leader sets. Recent studies in moral intelligence show that the level of morality exercised by a company’s character consistently affects the bottom line. It takes good character to grapple with reality. It takes good character to treat people right. It takes good character to build unity among networks of people and causes. Thus every situation that a leader might face calls for the same three attributes: humility, courage, and honesty.
Most leaders have the willingness to improve their character, but so often they are not told how to do so. How do leaders learn to lead “above the line,” so to speak? How can leaders grow in self-awareness? How can leaders learn to look inwardly? How can they keep themselves from becoming too defensive to accept the kind of feedback that they need?
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 9, 2007 | Comments (3)
Working Well with Men
It’s almost impossible to talk about gender issues without crashing into all the stereotypes about work-obsessed men, overly sensitive women, and the nasty label that gets attached to assertive women in the workplace. So let me say this from the get go: Each sex has its strengths and weak spots, and the issues we face when we work together are the result of these strengths and weaknesses. The more we understand about the relational dynamics between men and women, the more effectively we can work together.
Here’s what every woman needs to know about working with men:
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on January 6, 2007 | Comments (42)
