Wrestling My Inner E-Thug
Earlier this summer, my husband, Rafi, was the target of a series of blog “attacks” (Is there a word for this? Blattack? Blogack?). The raging blogger was a woman who wasn’t thrilled that Rafi had written letters to the editors (yes, he is one of those people) of some local papers offering a version of a presidential candidate’s closed-door event (which they both attended) that differed drastically from the one she had shared with the press.
While I understand that no one likes to be called a liar (although he never used those words), this woman got angry and mean in a hurry. All of a sudden, we were getting emails from friends and acquaintances who had stumbled upon her off-color put-downs, name-calling, and taunts in various blogs across the web.
Rafi was nonplussed, finding it all mildly amusing. But while he was able to laugh it off (like when she misspelled words in the midst of “accusing” him of not being able to read or speak English as the reason he was so clueless), I had a harder time. After all, this was my husband she was trashing. When people go after my family, I get very mama bear.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 29, 2008 | Comments (5)
Really Real Life
Do you do Facebook? Are you LinkedIn? What about a MySpace page, do you have one of those?
I have to admit, I came into the whole social networking scene a little late. I only started a Facebook page this year (gasp!). I honestly just didn’t feel like I had the time or energy for it. But after much peer pressure, I gave in. And of course now that I have one, I enjoy spending time on it—putting up my favorite books and movies, playing Scrabble, posting photos, keeping up with friends, and even finding some old high school friends I’d lost track of.
I often wonder about the draw of social networking. Just what is it that’s made the whole thing so popular? I mean, sure, there’s the “social” part of it—seeing what your friends are up to, communicating easily with them (even over long distances), finding out interesting insights about them. You feel connected and like you’re part of…well, a network of friends.
But I also think part of the appeal is the opportunity to define yourself. These spaces are all about personalizing. You get to choose your friends, your games, your applications. You decide what you want to display and where you want it displayed. On MySpace, you can even choose from hundreds of backgrounds—making your page as colorful, eclectic, or artsy as you want it to be. As you consider yourself to be.
Posted by Roxanne Wieman on July 22, 2008 | Comments (6)
Food for Thought
What a relief to know I no longer need to fight this battle myself, since the Lord stands ready, willing, and able to conquer my sin through the power of his Spirit. "The Lord is sovereign, and we cannot add one inch to our stature, physically or any other way," a good friend recently reminded me. "He guides us every step and his ways are perfect. It has nothing to do with us!"
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on July 21, 2008 | Comments (1)
The Word of the Lord
Eleven women huddled on the paint-chipped picnic benches of a state park about an hour away from their homes. It was a beautiful day, and we all looked with anticipation on the 24 hours that would follow. Once a year I take our Children’s Ministry Staff away on an overnight planning retreat to prepare for the coming ministry year. They were ready to have fun, ready to brainstorm ministry initiatives, probably even prepared for the leadership training they knew I would include as part of the retreat. But were they ready to hear from God?
I could sense their hesitation as I explained how we were going to begin our retreat. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to participate; it’s that they were afraid it wouldn’t work. One told me later, “I just knew I was going to have to come back to the table and make something up because I doubted I’d really hear something from God.”
See for the last few weeks I’d been thinking about the phrase, “The Word of the Lord.” Sure, most times when we come across that phrase in Scripture it refers to the written Word, but I was thinking of the instances when that Word came as some sort of vision or audible voice or recognizable presence.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 18, 2008 | Comments (7)
Jesus in Carhartts
Matthew 5:42 says, “Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.”
That seems easy enough. Most believers are happy to give to those who have the courage to ask. But what should your response be when the need is obvious, yet the request is unspoken? And, how do you follow Jesus’ command to meet the needs of others when you can barely meet your own?
I asked myself those questions while buying diapers at a local grocery store. A few weeks prior, my husband and I had moved with our six-month-old son to center city Philadelphia to begin a new church and “save Philly for Jesus!” Brad and I were young, in love with the ministry, and felt ready to serve God in a radical way.
In short, we were passionately clueless.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on July 11, 2008 | Comments (4)
Go Build Something
Whew! I’m tired.
All day today I helped with the renovation process at an elementary school not far from our house. My husband has been there all week, and today I left my desk and my computer and joined him in the labor.
And I’m tired.
Now, I’m not new to the construction world. My parents own several rental properties, and when I was a kid, I often spent weekends and summers helping my dad paint, build porches, and just generally fix whatever needed fixing. And a few weeks after Mark and I got married, we started our first do-it-yourself project. One that spawned six years of almost non-stop home projects: including the complete renovation of an old home from the studs out.
Of course, as familiar as I might be with a construction site, I am an editor. I did not choose a career as a builder. But I have to admit—as much as I love what I do—sometimes I just want to shut off my computer, slide my chair under the desk, turn out the lights and go build something.
Do you ever feel that way?
Posted by Roxanne Wieman on June 27, 2008 | Comments (2)
How Do You Care for Yourself?
Two nights ago, I set my kitchen timer for five minutes, sat in a lawn chair on my deck, and stared at the stars.
This was my feeble attempt at self-care, something I’m trying to incorporate into my life. Nearly two weeks ago, someone challenged me to engage in some intentional self-care, in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I’m surprised at how difficult it was for me to find a way—and make the time—to do this.
Continue reading...Posted by Amy Simpson on June 24, 2008 | Comments (16)
Food for Thought
You may be in a period of deep questioning right now. A new year is beginning. Perhaps your children are going to be starting school soon. The summer wasn’t near what it could have been, that dream of family closeness never achieved. Perhaps you will be changing jobs or ministry positions. Yet, what should be a time of adventure—of new possibilities—feels oddly leaden and life-less. Maybe you’re in the same old place—in your job, your marriage, as a single parent, or as a single human. The routine has become deafening and stifling, just as God is becoming more distant and unreachable.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on June 23, 2008 | Comments (2)
The Right Timing for Talking
We all know that speaking too quickly isn’t the best idea. “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him,” says Proverbs 29:20. A quick reply is usually a thoughtless one, and often the words we speak are later regretted.
But what about taking a lot of time before replying?
There is such a thing as ‘rehearsal’ for a conversation—I frequently catch my husband in the act. We’ll be tidying the kitchen or driving in the car, and I’ll notice his lips moving as if he were speaking—only he’s silent. “Who are you pretending to talk to?” I’ll ask him, and he’ll cough up the imagined conversation partner and topic.
I do this too, minus the moving lips. For me it goes like this:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 17, 2008 | Comments (6)
Food for Thought
After the divorce, I moved in with my parents for financial reasons. Their yard was dotted with tall trees where birds performed tiny morning symphonies outside my window. Every evening I watched the sinking sun light up their lawn with a golden glow. Somehow, admiring the strength of their huge oak tree gave me incredible comfort. Life did go on—leaves fell, birds sang, squirrels rummaged. And as each day passed, I realized I could go on, too.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on June 16, 2008 | Comments (1)
Christ-Like Answers to Annoying Questions
I have a neighbor who is obsessed with the size of my house. Every time we visit it comes up. At first I thought it was just me observing something weird, maybe imagined, but then she said something to my husband and his head is on straighter than mine, so I knew it really was an obsession. Case in point: Last week we saw her at a local antique shop. “Filling up your big house?” she asked. I didn’t know how to reply, so I told her the boring truth. We were there because some visiting family members had wanted to stop by.
So I started obsessing about the whole thing, making up dialogue and back-stories. I wondered if, perhaps, she grew up in a tiny house like my grandmother—four girls sharing the same double bed, wearing hand-me-downs, working for the Woman in the Big House (like mine). I started thinking, “No matter her history, her present house is no smaller than mine; I’ve seen it. It may be even be larger.”
But this isn’t about square footage, or even personal history. This is about me obsessing about her obsession, me formulating some caustic response, telling her not to identify me with my house. “I have to go now,” I imagined telling her. “I have to spend time thinking about my enormous house.” Or, best yet, “Our big house is full, but our monstrous empty new cottage up north is in great need of expensive antique furniture.” “That’ll get her,” I thought. “That’ll make her shut up about something that’s none of her business.” (My sin nature is very evident in my inner monologue.)
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 3, 2008 | Comments (13)
When Men- and Women-Only IS Okay
Last month I posted a blog about my irritation over a fundraising auction item for “gentlemen” to golf at an all-male golf club. I appreciated all the wonderful, thoughtful responses (even the one saying that said God didn’t create men and women “equal.” Did men get more of the image of God? Yes, we’re different—praise the Lord—but how can we not be equal?) But I digress….
Over this past month, I’ve spent time digesting these comments, praying about the issue, and thinking through some possible reasons why an all-male golf club bothers me and yet I’m great with a doctor who only sees women patients delivering my babies. The title of my post asked, “Is Men- and Women-Only Ever Okay?” Of course, it was an over-the-top question, and I absolutely think men- and women-only are often okay—with some stipulations. So I came up with some “guidelines” or rationales for when gender-only events work and when they ought to happen. Feel free to let me know where I’m off-base or what I’ve missed, but here are four benefits of gender-exclusive events that make them “okay”:
1.Privacy. We’re talking bathrooms, locker room, changing rooms, this sort of thing. Though some universities and the like have tried the unisex thing here, I don’t go for that. Come on; that’s just gross.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 30, 2008 | Comments (4)
Armor at the Beach
I don’t play poker, but maybe I should. I’ve got the face for it.
I developed my “poker face” early in life, but my leadership roles have helped me to perfect it. My ability to keep my emotions off my face—and to maintain a steady exterior—has seen me though many sticky situations. Like any skill, this is a tool I can use for good. My emotional control has granted me time to cool off when I otherwise might have blown up at someone. It has kept me from exposing weaknesses to people who might have exploited them to hurt me or my employer. It has helped me inspire in others a sense of confidence they might not otherwise have felt.
But in other ways, exercising this skill is like wearing armor at the beach: it does more harm than good. It protects me from threats that don’t exist. It prevents me from enjoying some of life’s greatest gifts. It makes me feel unknown and unaccepted. It actually becomes a liability. Sure, the poker face protects me from the vulnerability of letting others know when I feel overwhelmed, inadequate, confused, or simply sad. But it also keeps me from the normalizing discovery that others feel the same way. And it keeps me from showing when I’m happy, excited, and grateful.
Posted by Amy Simpson on May 28, 2008 | Comments (6)
Food for Thought
Beware of pride. There is always a great spiritual danger in thinking that if in some area we have satisfied a specific, concrete demand we have done everything that God requires. Ten percent is a lot of money to some folks; to others it's not very much. Isn't that one of the lessons to be learned from Jesus' comments about the widow's mite? To suppose that God demands 10 percent—and nothing more—can itself foster a remarkably independent and idolatrous attitude: “This bit is for God, and the rest is mine by right.” Likewise, if you choose to give more than 10 percent, you may become inebriated from the contemplation of your own generosity.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on May 27, 2008 | Comments (0)
In The Face Of Tragedy
Yesterday in our weekly team meeting we prayed again for three people we know who are dying from cancer.
Later that day I received an email requesting prayer for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they face the tragic death of their youngest daughter.
Today, on my walk home there was a tiny bird squeaking in the grass—its wing broken. I don’t know if it will make it.
Sometimes the world just seems to press in on you; taking your breath away as it confronts you with sorrow upon sorrow. There’s no avoiding it, no looking away and smelling the flowers. It’s just too awful…and your heart can’t take it. You groan for a new heaven and a new earth. This one is just so broken.
130,000 dead in Myanmar. 2 million more homeless.
Over 55,000 dead in China. 25,000 more unaccounted for. 4,000 children orphaned.
Who can stand in the face of such tragedy?
Today I have more questions than answers.
Posted by Roxanne Wieman on May 23, 2008 | Comments (4)
5 (un)Real Role Models
From Hillary to Miley to Condi to Britney, I find most discussion about female role models in popular culture pretty idiotic. There’s always some big “controversy” brewing in the media about women in the limelight: Too emotional or too robotic? Way too sexy or too pear-shaped in a pantsuit? Overly assertive or too demure? Too many dates or too many pounds?
Despite all the controversy and chit-chat about prominent women in the media, there’s one arena in which pop culture has gotten it right: fiction. In recent years, movies, books, and TV shows have presented us with some amazing female characters deserving of our admiration. In their honest depictions of the complexity of what it means to be flawed and human, these fictional women are as real as it gets. So here’s my personal toast to 5 great female characters and the traits that make them work emulating:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 13, 2008 | Comments (17)
Food for Thought
There are a lot of myths concerning modesty. One of them is that modesty is Victorian. But, in fact, it dates back way before the Victorian era. It’s in the Bible. As long as we’ve been human we’ve needed modesty, because as humans we don’t just have sex; we also have emotions and vulnerability. Modesty prevented us from being vulnerable with the wrong people. It also protected deep, erotic connections between the right people. When you’re young, modesty protects innocence, but when you’re older it protects profound connections.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on May 12, 2008 | Comments (3)
Food for Thought
When you forgive someone, you slice away the wrong from the person who did it. You disengage that person from his hurtful act. You recreate him. At one moment you identify him inerradicably as the person who did you wrong. The next moment you change that identity. He is remade in your memory.
You think of him now not as the person who hurt you, but as a person who needs you. You feel him now not as the person who alienated you, but as the person who belongs to you. Once you branded him as a person powerful in evil, but now you see him as a person weak in his needs. You recreated your past by recreating the person whose wrong made your past painful.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on May 5, 2008 | Comments (2)
The Peaceful Life
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the topic of “organization”—living an orderly, well-managed life in every respect. Organization is something that’s never been easy for me. I should say, it’s something that’s never been for me. I go from day to day “reinventing the wheel” so to speak—always trying to discover the best way to keep up with myself and the things I have to accomplish as a busy mom, housewife, ministry leader, freelancer, homeschooler, cook, laundry maid, and whatever else I’m sure I’ve forgotten.
While I constantly deal with my “management-challenged” lifestyle, I also combat the desire for complete perfection in all aspects of my life at all times. So that makes me a disorganized perfectionist. I suppose this could explain a lot of my troubles.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 2, 2008 | Comments (3)
Food for Thought
Holiness calls me to live by faith, not by sight. Because God gives us principles rather than specific rules for living a holy life, his kingdom can be lived in some measure here on earth in all generations, in all cultures, in all times. How these eternal principles are applied will look different in each circumstance, but God's principles never change. One person may be a vegetarian, for example, while another eats meat, yet both honor God (Romans 14:2-3). To live a holy life means I must constantly go back to God for direction on how to live out these principles.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on April 28, 2008 | Comments (1)
Please Don't Interrupt Me
Did you know that April is National Poetry Month?
I love poetry: to read it, to write it, to get lost in the language and the pictures. To savor the fragment that doesn’t seem big enough or long enough, and yet it captures everything.
I love poetry, and in honor of National Poetry Month – and in keeping with the spirit of poetry, a shared, often oral tradition – I want to share with you a poem that has recently captured me. A poem that startled me with its haunting picture of simple generosity. Here it is:
Continue reading...Posted by Roxanne Wieman on April 22, 2008 | Comments (16)
Food for Thought
Jesus and his 12 stinky fisherman friends spent more time at the beach than at a synagogue. Their hillside picnics probably felt more like church than most days at the temple. Every social gathering was a feast of friendship and faith. Even today, a circle of friends—with Christ at the center—is one of God's desires for his church. He continually sows seeds of community, whether we're scheduling play dates or coffee breaks, joining book clubs or Bible studies. Yet too often we rely more on our frenetic pace than on faith-inspiring friendships to serve our souls.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on April 7, 2008 | Comments (0)
How Harsh Environments Hurt Women and Men
The snow whipped around my home in the Rocky Mountains. The night wind howled and woke me. My husband, Dale, heard it too but in our sturdy home, reliable furnace, and warm comforter we just snuggled closer.
Yet, put me back before electricity, fuel, and birth control and a storm like that could shake me up. I’d be more dependent on Dale for food and warmth, possibly pregnant, definitely cold. And I sincerely doubt I would be a writer/speaker working alongside my husband. This world without our modern inventions affects how men and women interact. Without protection a harsher environment actually segregates women from men.
Let me explain. As David Gilmore of the State University of New York has observed (Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity), in most cultures men must earn and maintain their masculinity through stressful testing. Women are granted safer jobs that allow for the bearing and nursing of children. Therefore, in case of danger, the men may be sacrificed first and are easily replaced. So our biological distributions predispose women for safety and men for risk. Women are essential; men are expendable, as practices in the animal kingdom (one male with a harem) and polygamy indicate. But, Gilmore is quick to assert, men are not naturally noble, nor more eager for the job. Men must be pushed into risk. Boys are coerced, and when required, shamed, into manhood making obstacles and male rites of passage, to prove they are real men.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 4, 2008 | Comments (4)
Prophets, Like Us
Susannah Heschel is the daughter of Abraham J. Heschel, an esteemed Jewish scholar, professor, and author. She wrote the introduction to her father’s 1962 tome, The Prophets, and begins with these words:
“What manner of man is the prophet?” asks my father in the opening pages…A person of agony, whose “life and soul are at stake in what he says,” yet who is also able to perceive “the silent sigh” of human anguish…For my father, the importance of prophecy lies not only in the message, but in the role of the prophet as a witness, someone who is able to make God audible…The prophet hears God’s voice and looks at the world from God’s perspective.
To make God audible. A message. A witness. Speaking, weeping, wailing, and often raging. All are part and parcel with the prophet’s call to utter words on God’s behalf—to reveal God’s heart to the people.
Heschel continues by saying, “[the prophet] said No to his society, condemning its habits and assumptions, its complacency, waywardness, and syncretism. He was often compelled to proclaim the very opposite of what his heart expected.”
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on April 1, 2008 | Comments (6)
Food for Thought
I decided to fast. Instead of giving up food, I eliminated my time stealers for 30 days. I checked my e-mail only twice a day. Computer games were gone. I set limits on the number of programs I watched and refused to turn the television on at all during the day. This forced me to choose a couple of favorite shows, which I watched in the evening with my husband. During the day I popped in a CD and filled my home with my favorite worship music.
As the fast concluded, I looked at what I'd gained. My life hadn't changed, just the management of my time. I still had the same 24 hours available to me each day. I still was busy. I still had deadlines. But I'd uncovered pockets of precious moments that I chose to fill carefully. I spent a portion of my morning reading my Bible and talking with God. I took long walks with my husband in the evening or worked outside with our horses. Because my writing and tasks for the day were complete, I could enjoy these things with a clear focus and without guilt. Several of these “luxuries” I'd often neglected in the past because I had “too much to do” and “not enough time.”
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 24, 2008 | Comments (1)
A Woman's Worship Journey
Easter is one of my favorite holidays of the year. It’s one of those great days that is ripe with nostalgia, with family, and with deepening meaning as I grow older and the clamoring voices grow quieter. I was recently reflecting that it’s funny how you can hear a story so many times as a child and yet it can take on a new life and a new voice as the hearer becomes a woman.
This was my experience of Luke’s narrative of Mary Magdalene’s encounter with the risen Jesus on that first Easter dawn. Perhaps most of us have sat in a Holy Week service or leaned in to some familial storyteller and heard about that Easter morning when Mary arrived at the tomb, her eyes damp with tears, and mistook the Christ for a common gardener in her grief. More often than not, this narrative was mixed in with the many other accounts of eyewitness testimony—some of them charming, some of them fantastical.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on March 18, 2008 | Comments (0)
Food for Thought
Somewhere in the demanding schedule there must be a place for becoming refreshed in spirit. As important as it is to be recognized for what we do, there must be a time—regularly—for the sweeter experience of being loved just for who we are.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on March 10, 2008 | Comments (3)
Overwhelmed
Imagine you’re Jesus on the ministry circuit, age 32. Where will you sleep tonight? What will you eat? Where along the way can you replace your threadbare tunic? What town should you and your crew hit next week, once you’re ready to move on from your current locale? And beyond that, since you know your time is coming soon… What is the end going to look like? Will you make it to the cross? How will you make your point clear to your followers and be sure they get it?
We tend to assume that Jesus, as God, was immune from this line of thinking. But I don’t think so. Since Jesus is fully human, he “has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Heb. 4:15) This means that Jesus must have felt overwhelmed sometimes by his life circumstances. He must have wrestled with the temptation to worry. He must have faced moments when he wondered if he could accomplish the work he had to do—in the big ways, and maybe also the small ones.
Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a sin, but it is a case of distorted perspective. When we feel overwhelmed, we look into the future and believe that it contains more than we can handle. More demands, more decisions, more stress. As we look past today and live out tomorrow’s challenges in our minds, we become fearful.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 29, 2008 | Comments (15)
Food for Thought
Should crusaders strive to “stay angry”? It's a bad idea. Someone once said that staying angry is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. If your cause is just, you would still find the energy to fight for it even without anger. You just wouldn't be self-righteous about it. The worst effect of self-righteous anger is the inner damage. It distorts your clarity about your own sinfulness and undermines your humility. Jesus told us to love our enemies and demonstrated it by asking his Father to forgive his murderers. Christians' failure to emulate such forgiveness is one of the clearest examples of G. K. Chesterton's line that Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on February 25, 2008 | Comments (4)
Food for Thought
When I tell people I’m a recovering alcoholic, I get a variety of responses. Some say, “Good for you!” Others say, “I always knew there was something weird about you.” Some Christians say, “Isn’t God capable of curing you? Why do you have to label yourself so negatively?”
My answers are simple. I’m neither hero nor victim. I don’t deserve a badge of honor for remaining sober. It’s merely part of my daily Christian walk. I wish I’d been smart enough to avoid the problem altogether. I pray my children will be.
Posted by Bonnie McMaken on February 18, 2008 | Comments (4)
Too Busy to Wave?
There is a person in our neighborhood that defies and therefore defines our hustle-bustle culture. He is seen during my normal driving route that takes my son to and from school.
I call him Waving Man.
He is a tall man in his late 30s. Judging by the expression that is always on his face, he was born with an IQ that falls short of society’s acceptable standards. His behavior also reveals that he is different. He stands on the street and waves. He waves at the cars that go by. He stands in the same place, next to the mailbox just outside the house in which he lives, usually wearing a shirt with evidence of spilled food just under his chin. He stands there in the fall and when it snows. I have even seen him standing in the rain. Always waving. The first few times I saw him I thought he was selling firewood. Then after seeing him a hundred times I decided he just likes to wave.
Typically, traffic would whiz right by him but today the traffic was bogged down and going slow enough for passing drivers to see him. About three cars ahead of me I noticed something. I saw the driver wave back at the man. Two cars ahead of me, same thing. One car ahead of mine, the woman waved.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 15, 2008 | Comments (7)
Group Solitude
Macrina Weidekehr, in her book The Song of the Seed, tells of when she was young how she used to enjoy sending coded messages to her friends by typing letters without using the space bar. Without the spaces the words were hard to decipher. The spaces were needed to make sense of the message. She makes the comparison that the same is true in our lives, “It’s the spaces in between that help us understand life.”
I have found that one of the most powerful tools God has used to sculpt me in my spiritual life has been solitude, extended times set aside to be just with God. It was nearly 15 years ago that an older woman at the church I attended invited me to join her and others going to a park to spend a half day in prayer. I remember thinking I was pretty sure I couldn’t pray for that long, but still, something about it drew me. Perhaps it was the compelling, gentle spirit of the woman who invited me.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 12, 2008 | Comments (3)
What We Deserve
As a parent, it seems I spend the vast majority of my day telling my children “no.” After consistently receiving this response, they mope and moan until eventually my four-year old reminds me that he deserves certain perks because he “has been a good boy.” As a preschooler he already has a sense of entitlement that will carry over into adulthood, as did most of us.
Blame it on our parents, history, or that good old Protestant Work Ethic we inherited, but ours is a culture that believes if you work hard you will be rewarded. We participate in a system built upon incentives, praises, and bonuses. According to the UN International Labor Organization, on average Americans work 1,978 hours per year. This is 100 hours more than our Canadian and Japanese counterparts, 250 more than most Brazilians, and 500 more than Germans. Americans average two weeks of vacation per year compared with Europeans who receive four to six. At the end of this extravagant workload is the expectation that our efforts will pay off; we would be naïve to miss the reality that our obsession with reward transfers into our spiritual lives.
So how do we lead when despite our best efforts God says “no” to the reward?
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 5, 2008 | Comments (4)
When A Woman Finds Her Voice
I can’t recall an election year that has generated more interest and excitement than the current one. One of the “moments” that captured a lot of attention (as well as considerable flack) was when Hillary Clinton, campaigning in New Hampshire, dropped her professionalism and her stump speech to speak simply and transparently from her heart. You can see what happened here.
Looking back on that moment, the senator in her primary victory speech reflected, “Over the last week I listened to you; in the process, I found my own voice.”
Whatever the pundits may be saying about Hillary finding her voice in New Hampshire (and many believe it turned the election in her favor), I am personally fascinated by what happened to her and troubled by the notion that it is actually possible for us, like Hillary, to do a lot of speaking, teaching, writing, communicating, not of politics, but of the gospel without finding and employing our own voices.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on February 1, 2008 | Comments (29)
Battling a Negative Self-Image
When I read through our new download for this week, I thought: Great, my first week contributing to Gifted For Leadership and we’re discussing one of my nemesis: Self-image. Of course, I suppose I also could have thought: Wow! This must be a God-thing…I’ve learned a lot about this issue over the past year. Yes, that probably would have been the better way to approach it. So, here we go…
It started last year about this time when I was challenged at a conference to fast from something for forty days. I wasn’t taking the whole thing very seriously, until God decided I needed to. And it really was one of those moments when his voice was crystal clear and completely undeniable. Make-up. Yup, it settled like a dead-weight on my chest. I was going to fast from make-up for forty days: no foundation, no blush, no mascara. Nothing.
Posted by Roxanne Wieman on January 22, 2008 | Comments (9)
Food For Thought
The downside to our personal pietistic tradition in the Western church is that devotionally minded people can become lost in themselves. My spiritual development should not be just for my own sake, but for the sake of the church as well. It is the church that calls me into ministry, that confirms my ordination. It is the church that Jesus is coming for someday.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 21, 2008 | Comments (0)
Food for Thought
The New Testament writers adopted agape as the standard word for love. We think this means that agape must also have some softer meanings besides sacrifice, death on a cross, giving away our possessions, and giving our body to be burned. But agape didn't make the Cross; the Cross made agape. The Cross isn't a subset of agape; agape is a subset of the Cross. The fact that the writers chose agape as the primary, defining word for love in the New Testament, and thus for life in the Christian community, shows how radically the New Testament redefines love from the perspective of the Cross.
It also shows how radically the New Testament defines our concepts of friendship. For Jesus tells his disciples: “This is my commandment, that you love [agape] one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends [philos] (John 15:12–13).
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 14, 2008 | Comments (0)
Reproducing What We Are
"We will reproduce what we are." That statement, made by Wayne Cordiero at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit 2006, proved to be a turning point for me as a leader. Like most leaders, my type-A, high-capacity leadership gifting has me traveling pretty fast most of the time. If I'm honest with myself, I tend to like it that way. After listening to Wayne's message, however, I'm not so sure God likes it that way.
Hearts at Home started out as a small church event for moms 15 years ago. Now this international ministry that I lead reaches thousands of moms all over the world. The demands for speaking and writing feel overwhelming at times. And if that wasn't enough, I'm a pastor's wife and mother of five. There's a lot to do and a lot of responsibility to manage.
As leade