it's hard to believe there was once a time i was actually upset they took the cross down to make room for the screen...

mike t
church name: sunday night
salina, kansas

If a picture is worth a thousand words, why does he still have to talk so much?

"You know, it just seems much more infallible in hi-def."

"Thanks for coming with me to church today...I feel so intimidated by the preachers on tv!"

No one seemed to notice that the sermon on the Jumbotrons at the First Community Church was a recording. The pastor was off playing golf.

When the Senior Pastor went on vacation, the Youth Pastor finally had his chance only to find there were almost as many video screens as attenders.

When pastors phone it in.

Stephen Winters
Evangel Assembly of God
Kutztown, Pennsylvania

As part of our dynamic sermon series on 'Authentic Community', today's videocast describes how I build real relationships without actually having to meet anyone in person

(Swansea, United Kingdom)

"Actually, I think you're the first to notice it. . . ."

"I was going to just listen to the podcast, but I felt like I needed some 'fellowship' this week."

1. "Wow, I can't believe those plants aren't real!"

2. "Now, honey, I know we didn't tell you the truth about Santa Claus, but our pastor is a real person."

3. "Mrs. Jones, don't think just because I'm on simulcast that I can't see you gossiping through the sermon."

Now we're "Hide and Seeker" friendly.

"Liturgy? No, here we believe liturgy is too impersonal."

"This is the overflow room, the screens in the main sanctuary are much bigger...."

Well, at least there's no commercials.

...isn't this GREAT! When we found out his simulcast is free, we spent the pastor's salary on MOVIE screens.

Isn't it amazing what they can do with computer animation these days?

Trinity. Tri-unity. 3 screens, but just one pastorhead. Get it, honey?

This is what Windows Vista can do for a sermon!

We're still working on how to fast forward through the offering.

Ted Harris
Community Alliance
Butler, PA

"And sometimes, he even jazzes up his sermons with video clips!"

Denise Gamble
NewLife Christian Fellowship
St. Paul, MN

Same Nose, No Kidding!

"Pastor Mike has been teaching us about the importance of dying to self."

Pastor Wankel has finally learned the moonwalk.

Pay no attention to the pastor behinid the curtain.

Alan Ward
Lodge Forest UMC, Baltimore, MD

"Strange...he never got stuck up there during the rehersals."

Our Pastor represents God so well: Three-in-One, One-in-Three.

This is the last telecast. Pastor didn't appreciate us sending the tithes and offerings by video.

K Doyle
God's Word In Action IFC
Dayton, Texas

"That's a great sermon on honesty."

"Yeah, we downloaded it from BitTorrent, that way we don't have to pay."

Hang on through the canned lecture guy - the band is A-LIVE!

The fun part of this service is watching people respond to the altar call.

"So that's what church planters look like!"

" If you watch real close, you can see the strings coming from his hands."

It used to be so crowded and uncomfortable when the Pastor could see us.

1. "We'll be right back... but first this message from GEICO"

2. "Welcome to 1st Baptist Church of Holywood, I'm Ed McBacon your host for this mornings service... Now Heeeeeeeere's Pastor Johnny!"

3. "Can you see me now?... Can you see me now?... Can you see me now?"

4. "Lucy, don't you just love our outreach to shut-in Pastor's."

5. Billy Graham-- eat your heart out!

6. Lucy, I cried when I lost my butcher to self service meat... but this is ridiculous.

7. "Who chose THIS DVD!

8. "Hey Lucy, let's go to Starbuck's-- I saw this one last week."

9. "Wow, he's really pulling out the stop's for sweeps week."

I quit.

Jeff Webb
FairHaven Ministries
Hudsonville, MI

Here at the church of "an inch deep and a mile wide", our Pastor's heart appears to be 10 times bigger on TV!

These Tele-conferencing Services are GREAT! We can leave and he'll never know!

This is REALLY COOL getting to have our own private showing of "Spider-man 3", when your pastor is finished! They're showing "Pirates of the Carribean" next week.

" A lot of members have been getting upset about all the reruns lately and are losing interest, but Pastor John assured us in the bulletin that the next new episode should air any week now..."

Justin Mooney
Village Church
Rosholt, WI

1. "Did you know Pastor Bob is preaching via satellite now? Yea, I think I'll attend via satellite next week!"

2. "Just wait til you see the outakes. They're hilarious!"

3. "Yea, this is the first week without the pulpit...it's safer this way."

Sherri Osborne
Titusville Free Methodist Church
Titusville, PA

I'm worried that Pastor Wally's been reading too many "Where's Wally?" books to his children.

Donald Wilson
Beaumont Uniting Church
South Australia

The pastor is showing the good, the bad and the ugly side of human nature.

"Oh, my favorite part of the service is coming up next. The sim-eul-charist!"

I'm so glad the Elder board approved the cost of the new a/v equipment. I used to only see Daddy on taped "Family Dinner" and "My Birthday" movies!! Now he's actually LIVE at home, and on tape here -instead of the other way around!!

Pastor's Kid
Prairie Community Church
Firestone, CO