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April 6, 2009Deciphering a Religion Journalist's Deconversion
William Lobdell's rejection of faith seems less examined than his own reporting for the Los Angeles Times.
Former Los Angeles Times journalist William Lobdell lost his faith reporting on both the shiny, happy face of American religion and its cancerous underbelly. I became interested in Lobdell's work when I lived in Southern California and was trying to get a grasp on the region's unique religious landscape. After reading his blog for more than a year, recently meeting him, and devouring his memoir — Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America . . and Found Unexpected Peace — I have a great deal of empathy for the man, as I suspect many religion journalists would. And yet, his conclusions don't ultimately convince.
Lobdell writes that he backed out of his imminent conversion from evangelicalism to Catholicism because he "didn't want to join an organization that was run by leaders so out of touch with the modern world that they never picked up the phone to turn in child rapists — something most of us would do automatically, even if the perpetrator were a member of our own family."
This is a truly na?ve assertion. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported in 2006 that 56.3 percent of child-abuse reports were made by mandated professionals — police officers, medical workers, and educators. Of the nonprofessional reporters, only 7.7 percent were family members. Furthermore, a 1992 U.S. Department of Justice report found that in 20 percent of cases when a female child younger than 12 years old was raped, the rapist was her father.
So should we stop believing in family because fathers rape and mothers often fail to report?
Reason disallows me to concede to Lobdell's assertion that religious institutions are inherently more corrupt than others. One hardly needs to mention financial and political institutions, so let's consider journalism. He complains that Christian media are loath to investigate their own, as if these organizations alone acquiesce to advertising and circulation pressures. As a member of the Investigative Reporters and Editors Association, I heard similar complaints from a peer at Ms. Magazine. Over lunch, the idealistic feminist lamented that her magazine shied away from reporting on intra-feminist debates because its editors wanted to present a united feminist front and didn't want to lose readers.
Lobdell rightly notes that Christians should be different, but often aren't. And yet, he finds a few radical disciples worthy of praise. It is this disproportion, the very reality that shipwrecked his faith, that correlates entirely with the biblical account of the faithful throughout history, and with our Messiah's short experience on earth.
Thus, I understand Lobdell's deconversion not as the rational decision for truth in light of experience that he claims it be (for if it was, he'd have to handle his evidence far more carefully), but as tragic post-traumatic shipwreck.
In comparing Lobdell's own actions as a father to that of God, he reveals an immature, if admirable, discipleship: "I felt angry with God for making faith such a guessing game. I didn't treat my sons as God treated me. . . . How to hear God, love Him and best serve Him shouldn't be so open to interpretation. It shouldn't be that hard."
Jesus made God's priorities clear when he said that the Law and the Prophets are summed up in the injunction to love the Lord our God with our whole selves and our neighbors just the same (Matt. 22:37-40). Figuring out how to love is the mystery. Ask any parent.
Lobdell fulfilled the mandate to love in his reporting, and perhaps he unwittingly fulfills it still with this red-flag of warning. May the self-described "reluctant atheist" heed his own counsel and apply skepticism to the godless utopians and utopianisms that now tempt him.
Read more about Lobdell at Exploring Intersections.
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Comments
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful review and perspective on Lobdell's book. I interacted with him on a few stories and I was heartsick when I read an article about his loss of faith a year or so ago—perhaps especially since I recognized that so many of the hypocrisies he saw in the church are so very real. Your compassionate but challenging evaluation of his conclusions from his experiences is very helpful.
Posted By: Nancy Guthrie | April 6, 2009 4:15 PM
I'm confused... Did William deconvert back to evangelicalism from Catholicism? Or did he give up on Christianity altogether?
Posted By: anonymous | April 6, 2009 4:50 PM
Thanks for giving us background, Christine. It seems that Lobdell became too interested in the institutions that were created out of faith, instead of faith itself. Christianity isn't about leaders and how well they live their lives.
Posted By: Sarah | April 6, 2009 4:51 PM
Thanks for the kind words, Nancy. A friend reminded me that some people who are abused by family members do, in fact, find it difficult to believe in family. I knew that when I wrote this. We do what we can to foster healing. I think that's what we need to do with those like Lobdell, who've been exposed to abuse and indifference at the hands of people claiming to represent God.
Anonymous, Sorry for the confusion. Lobdell was a lapsed Episcopalian who converted to Evangelicalism and then was on the verge of following his wife into Catholicism when until he lost his faith reporting on both the pedophilia scandals and televangelists. I say it may be loving for him to offer a warning, not only to those who might be tempted toward atheism, but also to people of faith who might not realize the degree to which both their actions and failure to act impacts others.
Sarah, he comes across as an honest pilgrim, which is why I pray his journey leads him back to God.
Posted By: Christine A. Scheller | April 6, 2009 6:07 PM
I heard Lobdell on NPR and came to the exact same conclusion from hearing that interview as Christine Schiller. The same questions, as well as many others, came to my mind as well when I heard him explain his reasons for rejectiing Christianity. I often wonder why some allow the events of a fallen world and the failure of supposedly professed Christians affect their relationship with God? The Church is after all a place filled with sinners saved by grace. We can't be saved unless we can first admit we are lost. It is how we handle our falleness through confession, repentance and forgiveness that defines us as Christians more so than the perceived perfection or imperfections of our practice of faith. Jesus did say that the most defining attribute of a Christian is how we love one another.
Posted By: Rob Braun | April 6, 2009 7:11 PM
I pray that Lobdell will find a true revelation of the father-heart of God - the One who loves him so much. Even earthly parents don't always explain their actions to their children -- especially if their children are not yet mature enough to receive the explanations.
I feel that if God made everything about faith so totally clear, we'd all be like robots. So much of our walk depends on 'blind' faith -- that's what causes us to grow in our dependence on Him.
I can empathize with Lobdell's feelings about the church. It's not always easy to keep our eyes on Jesus and His holiness, and remember that the Church (Body of Christ)is still a work in progress; children in various stages of maturation. We will be like Him when we see Him (1 John 3:2)!
Posted By: Kaybee | April 7, 2009 12:32 AM
The danger is also there for Christians in law enforcement - it's so disillusioning for them to see so much evil perpetrated by other Christians.
Posted By: alison | April 9, 2009 11:07 AM
I agree that it is misguided to either lose or "gain" one's faith because of the behavior of others. My own "deconversion" was after 27 ADULT years of commitment, joy, service, and deep study (formally and informally). But it came because I kept probing and eventually realized the "higher criticism" is largely (certainly not entirely) right: The Bible is a human construction, reflecting human developments in thinking on who God is and relating to God, many of them wise and helpful, many not. And there are numerous alternatives to the standard "orthodoxies" of Christianity's main branches, including Process Theology, "post-liberal," etc. One needn't jump to atheism.
Posted By: anonymous | April 9, 2009 5:44 PM
Lobdell is no different from so many of us. Faith is not "easy believism." It is a struggle, for if Satan asked for Jesus' permission to devastate Peter, he probably goes ahead with the rest of us! But Peter declared after many left the flock, "Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life and we believe, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God."
I meant the words in the chorus that I sang years ago: "Let's be true to Jesus, though a thousand voices from the world may call." A great acronym for FAITH is "forsaking all, I trust Him."
Posted By: Douglas Stave | April 10, 2009 5:11 PM
Reading your article, provoked strong feelings of empathy for Lobdell. Our institutions, both Christian and State are so full of corruption and compromise for the sake of keeping the 'status quo' But is no different from the position Jesus and His disciples found 2000 years ago and what the prophets and the faithful had to contend with throughout the Bible.
It is so tempting to say 'I give up, it's just too hard' Yet I know from my own experience that once Jesus enters my heart and mind, where else is there to go? And isn't it more about being honest about how I relate to God and my brothers than all the flaws I see in everyone else?
The pharisees and the Pontius Pilate's of today have a lot to answer for, but it was the fickleness of the crowd (us) that allowed such evil to win.
May Mr Lobdell find the truth of Jesus in his rejection of religiosity and become His disciple simply because of God's love and His saving grace, that is all that matters.
Posted By: Clive mclaren | April 11, 2009 4:40 AM
If a person is truly converted, Born Again, redeemed -- then he cannot "deconvert" himself. Calvinists call this "perseverance of the saints" Arminians disagree, holding that one can, indeed, "lose his faith."
The Holy Spirit performs the act of redemption and the Father welcomes a new child into His family. On no condition will God expel His adopted child; Christ's sacrifice is more than sufficient to cover any sin.
Declaring oneself no longer a Christian or no longer interested in Christianity or having adopted a different faith is illusory and one may expect that God will certainly pursue him.
Posted By: Nom de Plume | April 13, 2009 5:18 PM
Thank you for your article. I have been battling with a deep and pervasive sense of disillusionment with the church. For me, that is separate from my faith in Jesus Christ. However, they often get tied together in my heart and mind and I feel lost of forsaken by God in the midst of my pain over church failures.
In the end, I am always loathed to admit that if there are failures in the Church...than I am a part of it.
I do deeply empathize with the sadness and discouragement that compels someone to walk away from their faith. The thing that has always made my heart break is that these poor souls are always the ones who get even more abuse heaped on them. They are broken already and Church people for a myriad of well intentioned and evil purposes kicks the lost soul even further away. These people are the first ones to deserve compassion, grace and kindness. Christ's love can compel where arguments, rebukes and pot shots cannot.
I will pray for Lobdell and for myself.
Posted By: Lisa | May 14, 2009 12:43 PM