What Is Her.meneutics?

The Christianity Today women's blog provides news and analysis from the perspective of evangelical women. We cover news stories and books related to international justice and evangelism, pregnancy and sexual ethics, marriage, parenting, and celibacy, pop culture, health and body image, raising girls, and women in the church and parachurch.

Her.meneutics is edited by associate editor Katelyn Beaty and online editor Sarah Pulliam Bailey.

Free Newsletters

books we're reading



« When Childbirth Means Risking Your Life | Main | Introducing Julia Duin »

May 27, 2009

What to Do with Smoking Moms

New research makes me reexamine smoking as a women's issue, and question when it's time to speak up.

Elrena Evans

The other day, a friend of mine was telling me about a recent trip she took to the park with her preschoolers.

800px-Cig_disposal_manila.jpg

"Two women were sitting on the bench by the slide, chain-smoking," she complained. "They must've gone through an entire pack in the time we were there."

"I would have said something," I told my friend. A park may be a public, outdoor place, but I still don't want people blowing smoke all over my children. Neither does my friend.

"But they had their own kids," she added.

Oh. That complicates things. While I might have the guts to ask a stranger not to smoke near my children, especially given that my youngest is only two months old, what if the stranger is also a parent? Suddenly my request smacks of one-upmanship - or should I say, one-upmomship, that smug, I'm-a-better-mother-than-you attitude that turns my stomach. Is there a way to ask another mother not to smoke near your children, without implicitly accusing her of being a bad mom?

I'm not sure that there is. "I probably wouldn't have said anything," I finally concluded.

Coincidentally, that afternoon I read a Chicago Sun-Times article about a study that found that smoking is more harmful to women than it is to men: "A study presented Monday at the American Thoracic Society's annual meeting in San Diego found that women developed chronic obstructive pulmonary disease at an earlier age and after fewer years of smoking than men." The article reports that women smokers have a greater loss of lung function, again even after fewer years of smoking, than their male counterparts. Researchers are looking both at lung size - women have smaller lungs - and at hormones, specifically estrogen, to try and understand why.

Despite recent strides to curb the harmful effects of secondhand smoke, it's still pervasive - in our cities, in our parks, and in our churches. True, I don't know that I've ever seen someone smoking inside a church building, but I've seen plenty of smokers just outside, and the smell of cigarette smoke in the sanctuary isn't unfamiliar.

People who smoke know it's bad for them, just like people who overeat, or who ride their bikes without helmets (a habit I'm currently working to break). But it brings me back to my friend and the chain-smoking mothers at the park: When your bad habit affects others, affects my children, do I have a right to say something? What if the consequences of your actions differ based on gender? If smoking is worse for women, does that matter?

I don't have firsthand knowledge of the addictive pull of nicotine. But I've watched friends struggle, and quit and quit and quit again, and I've prayed with them for God's mercy and intervention. When cigarette smoke is polluting not only our bodies but our parks and our churches as well, how should we as a Body respond?

And if I may be so bold as to ask those of you who smoke: what do you think? Is there anything we can to do help, as nonsmoking friends or even strangers? Or would any overture smack of accusation?

Share |

Posted by Katelyn Beaty on May 27, 2009 9:09 AM

Comments

I'm a new nonsmoker. Indoors, absolutely, no question it's appropriate to speak up, kindly--always kindly.

Outdoors, I think it's appropriate if people are standing in line or elsewise obligated to stay put (reserved seats in a stadium, say).

When it veers beyond those confines, it begins to seem quite selective, as other habits may impact us all but folks generally don't feel compelled (nor even within their rights) to speak up about them.

Posted By: Sheila | May 27, 2009 2:48 PM

When someone else's well-being, especially kids', is at stake, we should speak up on their behalf, even if it means being offensive. But more than that, we need to band together to create a public abhorrence of secondhand smoke. Smoking around one's children is just as neglectful as malnourishing them. It ought to be illegal, and we should lobby to make it so... if we care about children, that is.

Posted By: M | May 27, 2009 3:30 PM

Smoking is probably one of the most addictive vices out there and I should know since I've been smoking longer than I care to remember. I have tried quitting countless times over the years to no avail and I suppose this is why I feel some "compassion" for the smoker who just can't seem to stop. Yes, I do mean compassion. Having said this I agree with Shelia's sentiments that indoors it would be advisable to speak up if your children are around. Outside is something else altogether ~ I mean, where are smokers to go? ~ and so is making this habit illegal. Non-smokers don't need to band together either to create a public abhorrence of second hand smoke because this has already happened and I feel like I'm purchasing "street drugs" anymore when I do buy cigarettes because of the hard and frankly, self-righteous stares and comments I've received. I'm not sure how this dilemma is to be solved but using good common sense along with a dose of "compassion" for the smoker who probably, as I do, already feels helpless to quit, may be in order.

Posted By: Sue | May 27, 2009 4:30 PM

Seriously? How much second hand smoke can you inhale while playing 30 ft from a smoker for a half an hour? We need to think of actual impact. You know what is dangerous to your kids? Getting in your car and talking on your cell phone. That is far more dangerous than someone smoking for a few minutes in the same general area. We really need to get an understanding of risk in this world. This is so far from actual risk it is laughable, except for the fact that it isn't. Because there are actual people that think that it would be OK to confront people over something like this.

Posted By: Adam S | May 27, 2009 10:25 PM

Typical...if you don't care to change, blame it on somebody else... or rationalize your behaviour away!

Posted By: Stan | May 28, 2009 10:33 AM

Amen Adam S.!!!!

Posted By: Liza | May 28, 2009 2:36 PM

I'm with Adam. I'm not a smoker and I'm as annoyed by the bad habits of "other people" as anyone. But if these women are that worried about second-hand smoke and their kids, they should take their kids somewhere else. We all have things about us that we want to change. Being confronted about them only makes the guilt (and usually the bad habit as well) worse.

Posted By: alison | May 30, 2009 1:14 AM

Maybe the moms were smoking so much on the bench far away from their playing children because they had a policy of not smoking indoors or near them and wanted such an opportunity to smoke.

The author should save her anger against strangers to better defined cases such as someone smoking in a closed car full of children.

Posted By: MonkeyBoy | May 30, 2009 5:48 PM

I'm not sure where people get the idea it's okay to regulate others' habits and "band together" against them but its not very christian-like. As a Christian I would rather be known for what I am for rather for what I am against - its more attractive to a non-believing world. I used to be a smoker. I smoked for almost16 years and struggled to quit. I can sympathize with M (?). The self righteous attitudes turn people away. Self righteousness is a stumbling block - compassion and prayer are catalyst for change. What to do with smoking moms? How about pray for them?

Posted By: Kris10 | May 30, 2009 9:40 PM

Hello Everyone,

My wife was finally able to kick the habit before she got pregnant with our now first born beautiful baby girl, so I thought I'll share the resource that she has used to help her quit the smoking habit with as many people as I can.
She was a heavy smoker for about ten years and just a couple of weeks after finding out about the program that I have researched online, she was able to quit smoking permanently and now can't stop telling people about how she had kicked the habit for good.
Anyway if you want to check it out, here is the site that my wife has used to help her quit smoking; www.invisismoke.com

Posted By: Robert | June 1, 2009 8:29 AM

Yeah, um, I doubt anyone was inhaling a whole lot of second-hand smoke from these two women... outdoors, at a park, where you could easily choose to sit somewhere not in proximity to them. Sounds awfully thoughtful and considerate, if you ask me.

I actually think that they were being GOOD moms by smoking outside where their children weren't directly inhaling their smoke rather than in their homes or cars where their children would be forced to breath those toxins. Not to mention the "third-hand" chemicals that can affect children by seeping into fabric, carpeting, even the walls of your home. So, yeah. Kudos to those women.

Posted By: Robyn | June 1, 2009 9:41 AM

Mmmm...yeah, I confronted a slightly overweight person eating at McDonalds the other day. I explained not only is it bad for their health, it raises the cost for all of us in health care. Heart disease, high cholesterol, obesity, I just worry for that person. I didn't want my children to be exposed to this as a life choice. But there he was, eating that cheeseburger. He siad it was an addiction. I understood, but I explained that the implications of over eating and eating McDonalds food affects us all.

Posted By: John | June 2, 2009 9:09 PM

This must be one of those new fancy parks that's the size of my bathroom and has only two benches, because that's the only reason I would see this even being an issue in the first place.

Posted By: Marie | June 2, 2009 11:48 PM

Mmmm...yeah, I confronted a slightly overweight person eating at McDonalds the other day. I explained not only is it bad for their health, it raises the cost for all of us in health care. Heart disease, high cholesterol, obesity, I just worry for that person. I didn't want my children to be exposed to this as a life choice. But there he was, eating that cheeseburger. He siad it was an addiction. I understood, but I explained that the implications of over eating and eating McDonalds food affects us all.

Yes, but the cheeseburger wasn't putting saturated fats into the air for everyone around to eat...

But seriously, the author didn't strike me as being angry here, simply asking:

If smoking is bad for the smoker (more so for women given the article) and those around them, how can we, as Christians, help the smoker and her family without condemnation. None of us are qualified to cast the first stone, but then again the issue of second-hand smoke makes smoking a harmful behavior to others.

Posted By: Bill | June 4, 2009 7:20 AM

I'm still astonished by the unabashed arrogance demonstrated by the author and some of the posters. I mean, really, who do we think we are?

Posted By: alison | June 5, 2009 4:28 PM

Sorry, I shouldn't have been so snarky above.

Posted By: alison | June 8, 2009 9:33 AM

Women who quit smoking will realize immediate health benefits. Women who quit smoking before they reach the age of 50 reduce their risk of dying of smoking by as much as one-half. Smoking cessation also reduces the risk of heart disease in people exposed to second hand smok

Posted By: r4 dsi | December 4, 2009 12:51 AM

Post a comment:





Verification (needed to reduce spam):

tags

February 2012
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29