Hermenuetics

Comments

I think it just proves how phony this couple is. Wasn't it about 6 months ago they took a free trip to Hawaii to renew their vows? It's pretty obvious the relationship has been hurting for longer than that. Unfortunately it seems that greed was the ultimate pitfall for Jon & Kate.

Posted By: Andrew | June 22, 2009 9:27 PM

Its sad and a waste. To me that was the show finale. If we all stop watching, TLC will have to cancel.

Posted By: Kimberly | June 22, 2009 10:07 PM

it is always sad to hear a marriage downfall. i wonder what will happen to the kids. for peace sake i hope the kids grow and look at this positively.

God bless them!

Posted By: niko | June 22, 2009 10:21 PM

If they want the best for their kids then they should stop being so selfish. The best thing Jon can do for his kids is love their mother. The best thing Kate can do for her children is love thier father. That is if they really want the best for their kids, if they really want peace for their kids. I believe they can still work this out. I believe their marriage can be strong. As long as God is on the throne their marriage is still able to be saved. I really hope they work it out and become the family they need to be.

Posted By: bob anderson | June 22, 2009 10:42 PM

I have to agree that it's sad. I've only seen seasons 1 & 2 (we don't have cable and watched them on DVD). Yes, they have their issues but isn't marriage for life? Isn't it possible to try to work it out with some counseling- maybe even quitting the show? I'm sad.

Posted By: Meghan | June 22, 2009 11:01 PM

Its sad and a waste. To me that was the show finale. If we all stop watching, TLC will have to cancel

Posted By: Dr Finance | June 23, 2009 7:15 AM

I've prayed for that family and really hoped that the announcement would be that they were ending the show. They both kept saying that their relationship is between 'them', but yet they continued to talk about eachother and their relationship. Hypocrits. I am a Marriage and Family Therapist, but it doesn't take one to see that if they truley loved their children, they would stop the show. They think by going on with the show they are providing. I can guarantee you that years down the road, the kids will say, "We would've rather lived in squaller and known you two stayed together, than live in a mansion with you two apart." Things of this world will disappear when Christ returns, and what will they have eternally? They both seemed ready to quit and give up. They talk as if this all has happened to them, but it has not. They have made choices, chosen money over the health of themselves and their kids, over the health of their faith...for what? The security of money. Sad sad sad. They could've made it, but they chose the money and fame. I am now praying that the show ends for the sake of the kids. Pray with me.

Posted By: Erin | June 23, 2009 7:30 AM

I think it is time to leave this family alone. A lot of people go through this and hopefully as adults, they will learn from their mistakes. I pray for peace for both parents. I truly believe that the children need BOTH parents in their lives. My ultimate concern are those beautiful children. Jon and Kate you did a good job with them, I hope all of you find joy again one day.

Take care.......

Posted By: tyson | June 23, 2009 7:42 AM

This is probably the first and last time that I will post anything on this site - I'm not the biggest Christian and have suffered a divorce in my past - but I hate to say that I was surprised and disappointed that Kate took the show's needs over her own husband. AND was disappointed that the husband didn't push back in some way to be taken out of the picture of the show (there are ways...)

So while I know that often times - Love and God is not the most immediate and available answer (whatever to all those that will get on their proverbial pedestals about that comment) I do believe that she and he will regret the choice they made and will be disappointed with what the path they've chosen.

Posted By: Leo G. | June 23, 2009 7:53 AM

I've always felt the whole concept of this show, following them around and their kids being on camera constantly, was risky on many levels. Somehow they lost themselves and lost sight of their commitment because of being so consumed with being high paid celebrities on TV. It takes its toll after awhile. You wonder what would happen if the fame went away and they could just be regular people. Unfortunately it looks like being on TV is more important than being true to their commitment. They could use some privacy but I don't think they're going to get it. Much prayer needed for them.

Posted By: sherylsplace | June 23, 2009 9:40 AM

I was really disappointed with TLC's handling of the situation and emailed this morning to tell them so! I felt like it made a showcase and spectacle of the demise of Jon & Kate's marriage, with the incessant promotion and all...to say nothing of the general media coverage of the Gosselin's every move. I worry the network is gleeful over the ratings spike and will encourage more of this sort of drama in the future.

Posted By: Heidi | June 23, 2009 10:14 AM

I never saw ANY joy on Kate's face, and I was shocked to learn that they were Christians. All I saw was Kate being so stressed out that she never, ever smiled. She had EIGHT blessings, nine if you count her husband who stood by her when she had all of these children. I think they were already on the path to destruction before the first show ever aired. I never saw Kate express any love or thankfulness except when they made an appearance on this or that talk show. She was always demanding more from everyone around her. No wonder Jon cracked; he wasn't getting any respect or love from his wife. It should have been retitled "Kate Plus Eight" because Jon could have faded into the background and they never would have missed him.

Yet another thing that non-Christians will point to and laugh and say that our God is a joke. THANKS JON AND KATE FOR NOTHING!!!!!!

Posted By: MC | June 23, 2009 11:53 AM

Well, finally the real Jon stands up. He should have been a real man a long time ago and been the leader in his family. I watched this show with my family for several years. I've always felt that the marriage, the show, and everything was "ALL ABOUT KATE." What Kate wanted. her comments told the truth behind it all..."I love the Kids more than anything."
No, Kids are a gift from God, they are His, and our to raise in His nuture and admonition. She should have loved her husband more and first, then the marriage would have been good and the kids would be emotionally healthy. Instead they will grow up in yet another DIVORCED, split family home. God bless them all. Please pray they take them and all reruns off the air immediately.
They are an example to no one.

Posted By: Wayne | June 23, 2009 2:25 PM

Wow. I am stunned and saddened to see Christians attack and dissect others like this. Wow. Whether you agree with them or not is your choice, but imagine trying to live your life in front of millions of other people? How would you feel to have your every action scrutinized? People make mistakes. All of us do. We accuse them of not being loving and not showing God in the proper light, yet we sit here ripping them to pieces. And we feel fully justified in doing it. I will never understand it. :`( I am so thankful that God does not approach us the way we approach others.

Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

These commandments are not opposed to each other. They compliment each other and are to be carried out in tandem. Part of loving God in the way He wants is to love your neighbor in the way you want to be loved.

Why is that so difficult for us? :`(

Posted By: R | June 23, 2009 2:45 PM

Honestly, I'm a little disgusted with myself over the fact that I never paid attention to this show until the scandals broke and the pain and heartbreak of this relationship was splashed over every tabloid in my supermarket. What does that say about me? Our culture? I guess we are all peeping Toms at heart.

On an offhand note, I watched a few old episodes and was disgusted by Kate's treatment of Jon. There were so many times where I wished he had defended himself.

Posted By: Tara | June 23, 2009 3:07 PM

how about instead of judging them we instead PRAY for them. God can work in them even now.
They should just quit the show so they can work on their marriage without the media or anyone else poking into their business.
nobody's perfect...and there's still forgiveness.

Posted By: HF | June 23, 2009 3:11 PM

I was surprised to even see this program talked about on this web site. It is a TV show for goodness sake - they chose to have those cameras follow them and they sure accepted all the "perks" - clothes, hair transplants, tummy tucks etc - why not live as God made them?? I can't believe all the people who are so worked up about this. Do you get this excited over Lost or Jeopardy??? Lets get real and turn our attention to things we can do something about - hunger, the poor, the sick etc. Do you really feel they were followers of Jesus? I don't think so. Just my 2 cents

Posted By: Liza | June 23, 2009 3:11 PM

Anybody else see the hype about the "special announcement" about the separation and the tabloid rumors of affairs as nothing more than effective marketing for the show?

I'm guessing the ratings for the "separation show" were higher than for the renewal of vows episode.

It's all about the ratings ...

Posted By: jarrod | June 23, 2009 4:33 PM

How can we best respond to this media frenzy?... And in light of their strong identification with the Christian community?... How about simply uphold this family in our Christian prayers and stop blogging (generating even more gossip) about them.

Posted By: Sue | June 23, 2009 7:24 PM

Wayne wrote:
"Wow. I am stunned and saddened to see Christians attack and dissect others like this. Wow. Whether you agree with them or not is your choice, but imagine trying to live your life in front of millions of other people? How would you feel to have your every action scrutinized?"

Wayne, they CHOSE to have their every action scrutinized. I was appalled about these types of TV shows before I ever knew there were any Christian families doing them. I am not a trained therapist, but I could see the obvious down-sides of this for family dynamics and relationships. And then to see a Christian (I will give them the benefit of a doubt) couple CHOSE to put themselves on display was even more dismaying to me.
This is NOT about judging people. We ARE to judge actions, and there are some pretty sad actions involved here. And- first we are to look and see where the log is in our own eye. How much and in what ways have we succumbed to the celebrity culture? In what ways ae we not loving our spouses well? In what ways are we "using" our children, or becoming financially greedy or status-seeking or self-centered? I agree that we must pray for the family, especially those dear, dear children!

Posted By: Mariel | June 23, 2009 10:05 PM

Marriage is a permanent agreement to have and to raise kids together, and these two are reckless and are now throwing their kids under the bus. They liked the romance early on, and now that the work of being a family is upon them, they ditch out. They should be like that Bachelorette, Jillian, who as noted at MarriageNewsNow.com, constantly asks her dates about kids and family. See: http://tinyurl.com/nc67sq

That's the way it should be right up front at the start of the marriage, and it's criminal that people can enter that agreement and then jump ship, to the long-term peril of the kids and the dependent spouse. No-fault divorce laws radically altered the definition of marriage, and no one today even thinks of marriage as a permanent thing focused on raising families. Time to repeal no-fault divorce laws now.

Posted By: Neda Forever | June 25, 2009 7:53 AM

There's no single issue that one could point his finger at and say, "This is why they failed at marriage." Clearly all of the following played a part:

- Greed
- Exploitation
- Selfishness
- Self-centeredness
- Unrighteous anger
- Failed communication

But are we really surprised given a complete lack of accountability and community with other Christ-followers? We aren't made to do this life and especially this walk alone. Primarily we have the Holy Spirit to guide us as we follow Jesus. His work in that regard is second to none. But close on the heels of God's gift of the Helper is the work of other Christians in speaking wisdom and exhortation into our lives. It made for a great Simon and Garfunkel song, but being "a rock" and "an island" is an un-biblical way to live.

So what is the right reaction?
1. Set apart Christ as Lord in our hearts. Remembering the unique God for who he has revealed himself to be through his word is where we start. All else is man-centered and self-driven. It is through his word that we see not only who he is, but who we are (James 1:22-24) and can remove the planks that are inevitably sticking out of our eye (Matthew 7:3-5).
2. We condemn the sins of Jon and Kate for the outright rejection of Christ and his love that they are.
3. We put aside our anger and hurt and we forgive Jon and Kate for their sins as we have been forgiven.
4. We pray that they would come under conviction of the Holy Spirit for their sin and turn and repent.
5. We pray that the Father would bring into their lives a speaker of Truth who loves them and cares for them.

Quite frankly, we lie to ourselves and are in danger of soul-killing hypocrisy if we claim to be any different from Jon and Kate. And to that end may we ever be vigilant against sin and it's indwelling power (Rom 8:13).

Posted By: b-lew | June 25, 2009 12:52 PM

What I don't understand is why most people seem to be laying all or most of the blame on Kate. As I see it, both are equally responsible for the problems they had in their relationship. Marriage takes two, and so does divorce. Except in the case of abuse or infidelity, most marital problems are a result of both members of the couple. I see no difference here.

Posted By: Anna | June 25, 2009 2:15 PM

Jon and Kate need to read this Crosswalk article: http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11605202/

This is not going to be good for the futures of their children. If their children are what matters most to them, they should consider this.

Posted By: Pristy | June 25, 2009 3:22 PM

i think ideally we should stop talking about them and speculating and lamenting and what not, and rather, if anything, simply pray for them that the lord will lead them and draw them nearer to him day by day.

Posted By: anon | June 25, 2009 5:37 PM

I agree with a couple of posts here, that I wondered if the marriage could last from the first time I saw the show, when I saw John's passivity (that is extremely hard for a wife to live with) and Kate's harshness. They certainly are both equally to blame, and yes, as Christians, we should judge sin. Divorce is a sin, and they have made a sinful choice, and we have a right to feel badly or be upset about that, whether or not we also have sin in our life. Certainly God is upset about it. I feel most bothered that it appears they never tried couples counseling to try and save their marriage. So sad.

Posted By: Cheery | June 26, 2009 11:43 AM

Where was the outcry of hypocrisy from the Christian community the last 3 yrs.
while Jon & Kate were claiming to be strong Christians but acting anything but?
I personally would never identify myself as a "strong Christian" (lapsed, yes)
but those 2 were doing speaking engagements to the tune of $20K at churches
proclaiming their faith; showing the country weekly that the only God they worship is the Almighty Dollar. Ironic, isn't it, that Kate's dad is a minister? He
must be horrified by her behavior. Yes, it takes BOTH people to make a marriage work, but I watched the show from the beginning and it was obvious in the last year that she changed dramatically. The sad thing is, so have the children=they rarely laugh or smile anymore. Therein lies the tragedy. Jon & Kate probably made the mistake so many others do: they simply got married too young & while they were too immature and then became parents too soon afterwards which was too overwhelming. Add to that their "grand scheme" to support their family with a reality tv show with no thought to the down side of that, Kate's inability to compromise where the show & all its perks are involved, add a huge dose of selfishness and the fact that apparently they are unwilling to attend marriage counseling and another family breaks up. My personal opinion is that it is too easy to divorce in this country. The long term ramifications on the children-regardless of the ages of the children-should make counseling MANDATORY (especially when so many children are involved). TLC holds a huge amount of responsibility in this situation, however, as do all of us who have recently tuned in to watch this train wreck. I completely agree with all the other writers who have said that we all need to give this family our prayers and we need to stop watching so the show will be canceled. Just because they have filed for divorce doesn't mean that they can't still work things out. There is still hope IF the cameras go away and they can have some normalcy and get help and lots of prayers. My husband and I were divorced for 2 yrs. and we
got back together, remarried and Monday we will celebrate out 24th anniversary! Marriage is always hard work, especially when you have kids. You can't just give up.

Posted By: Jules | June 26, 2009 12:03 PM

Yes, Katie was too controlling and greedy. At the same time, John was too willing to give in and ignore what he knew was right. Both equally were at fault. A marriage is a partnership, and when any partner takes complete control while the other caves on everything, something is wrong. Even in marriages where they believe the wife should submit to the husband in everything without reciprocating submission, if it is done right, the husband does not make decisions without consulting his wife and hearing her desires. The partner who gives in is just as much at fault as the controlling partner.

Posted By: Anna | June 26, 2009 9:16 PM

I see there's another Anna posting. Welcome. I never watched the show but I have seen the entertainment "news" programs and these two didn't seem like they should have even gotten married. I didn't know the man even spoke and the female seems more like the demanding younger generation of today. Spoiled and "I want all the attention.". Yes the Bible says leave your family and cling to your mate but where does this attitude about just us involved and push everybody else away come from. Learning how to put others first before you is hard to learn and I don't get the concept that these two have learned to put others first, like their mate who should always be first, and than yourself. People who are deep in love just seem to systematically put the mate first. These two lost this if they ever had it. And instead of hating the mates relatives like so many of today's young girls seem to do, use them to help you out. A rest period from any child let alone eight can do miracles. Todays young girls need to learn this very basic getting through life lesson. Use the relatives, forget that separating your mate from his Mother and family so you can have him to yourself, keep the relatives close so they love your kids enough to be willing to take them off your hands when you need that done. You don't need to keep the kiddies to your breasts unless for your own selfish immature reasons. Just an observance from the "news" shows but I could be wrong in this case.

Posted By: Anna | June 26, 2009 11:16 PM

Refreshing to see reality come to reality TV. What is most distasteful is the freak show lineup TLC bills as reality. People with 18 kids, sextuplets, midget couples and families. They may be making more money than their circus freak predecessors but that's all any of these shows are and we all watch out of warped curiosity.

Posted By: Jennifer | June 28, 2009 4:53 AM

It just makes me so sad. So, so sad.

Posted By: Robyn | June 29, 2009 10:35 AM

Reading all of these comments, I can say I agree with most. I am a 32 year old mother of eight beautiful children, and can proudly say, that my husband and I have been married 11 years now. This may sound crazy, but that was the first and last episode I have ever watched. We don't have a TV in our home, because we think of it as an open sewer into the living room. Our marriage like Jon and Kate's have gone through trials, hasn't everyones? It comes down to what you are willing to weather. Can you forgive anything? Is the Lord the center of your lives? Marriage is work and parenting is more work, but living in a God instituted marriage with loving little ones is the greatest blessing anyone could ask for!! I pray that one day Jon & Kate can come to this conclusion as well, through the power of our Lord Jesus Christ!!

Posted By: Heather Martin | June 30, 2009 10:13 AM

God called us to judgement and self-righteous condemnation of others. Jesus did say, "And when you see the speck in your brother's eye, take the plank out of your own and whack your brother with it multiple times!"

"He who is without sin, let him be the one to cast the first stone!"

Wow, there sure are a lot of commentators who have never sinned! Way to go! God loves you.

Posted By: Scott | July 1, 2009 12:44 PM

For all those who so proudly proclaim we have a right to judge and condemn their sin, why not consider having a "sin inspector" come and spend a few days in your home filming.
Then let them broadcast your sins to the community on TV. Then let's all get together and condemn in your sins to your face and heap the shame upon you that you so richly deserve, especially the fact that you have "rejected Christ" through your sins.
The pride people have in their Christian morality and righteousness and religion is repellant and, imo, contrary to Christ's Gospel. Well did He speak of you when calling the Pharisees "vipers."

Posted By: Scott | July 1, 2009 12:56 PM

I think it's time Dr. Phil and TD Jakes step in and challenge this couple! Where are you Dr. Phil?

Posted By: Annie | July 3, 2009 7:06 AM

Just wondering how people out ther are feeling that might be going through similar trials? Maybe not the media stuff or sextuplets - but experiencing temptation, experiencing difficulties in marriage and comtemplating the future - are you worried about how your "loving Christain brothers and sisters" are going to treat you? No wonder people leave the church when things go wrong - too much condemnation - they have to find their support elsewhere.

Posted By: Charlotte | July 3, 2009 1:46 PM