A Walk to Beautiful: A Must-See Film

When a woman endures prolonged labor while giving birth, her bladder or rectal tissue rips or tears, forming a fistula, a hole between her birth passage and internal organs. A simple surgery costing $300 can fix the problem, but without access to care — 90 percent of fistula sufferers live in the developing world — the woman is left incontinent, unable to have children, and stigmatized in her family and community. Christian physician L. Lewis Wall wrote about fistulas — faced by 2-3 million women worldwide — in this month’s issue of Christianity Today, connecting their plight to that of the unclean woman in Mark’s gospel (5:25–34).

Thankfully, two Christian doctors, Reginald and Catherine Hamlin, have been at the fore in the effort to make fistula repair surgeries available to more women, founding Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital in Ethiopia in 1974. A Walk to Beautiful, a 2007 Emmy-winning documentary, highlights their work, capturing day-to-day life for Ethiopian women with obstetric fistulas. (The DVD is 85 minutes; about 50 minutes of it is available online.)

The documentary follows five women on their journeys to have their fistulas repaired and their dignity restored. Their stories are somewhat similar — how they got fistulas, their hurt and shame, their thoughts of suicide — but each of the women is unique. Ayehu, a 25-year-old mother, lives in a makeshift hut because her husband kicked her out and her mother will not allow her to stay in the home. Fikre, a friend, suffered from a fistula for ten years before going to Addis Ababa for surgery, and convinces Ayehu to do likewise. Ayehu marvels, “How can they bring you back to life?”

Alone, Ayehu walks six hours to the bus station. She spends another 17 hours traveling to the hospital. While on the bus, she bites her lips and looks around. The camera shows urine running down her legs and on to the bus floor.

But at the hospital, the mood is drastically different. Women lounge and talk on green grass, or quietly lie in hospital beds while doctors and nurses attend to them. Ayehu smiles as she lies in bed before surgery. “I am very surprised. I never expected there to be a lot of people like this. Everybody is sick. I thought it was only me.”

Catherine Hamlin, a Nobel Peace Prize nominee and winner of the 2009 Right Livelihood Award, continues to serve at the hospital (Reginald died in 1993). Throughout much of the documentary, her calm, even voice explains her life’s work. If you read interviews with her and read her autobiography, The Hospital by the River, it’s hard not to be in awe of this Christian woman.

The surgeons, doctors, and nurses dealing with fistula are heroes, yet they humbly go about their business. Sometimes the film feels cold because of their professionalism. Wubete, age 17, has gone to Addis Ababa twice for surgery, but continues to leak urine. One doctor explains that most of her bladder is destroyed because of the fistula, which is why she continues to have problems. When Wubete cries, the doctor gently tells her to leave the room. They still have work to do, as the hospital performs 30 operations a week, and there are 100,000 women in Ethiopia alone who need fistula repair.

For such a large but obscure problem as fistula, the little time it takes to watch A Walk to Beautiful is well spent. And who knows? It might inspire you to make a difference.

Elissa Cooper wrote about the campaign to defeat fistula in the January issue of CT.

Shaunti Feldhahn: What Hinders Women at Work

According to Catalyst, women hold just 15.2 percent of corporate officer positions at Fortune 500 companies, despite all the professional development and mentoring available to them. Could this in part be because many women are unintentionally undermining themselves in the workplace? Shaunti Feldhahn, a former Wall Street analyst, thinks so, and has written The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace to prove it, based on seven years of research and interviews with more than 3,000 men.

Feldhahn, best known for her book on Christian dating relationships, For Women Only, also holds a master’s degree in public policy from Harvard University. “The vast majority of men I spoke with said they could never raise these issues [in the office],” she says. “That was one reason they were so willing to help me. They sensed that women, for the sake of our careers’ effectiveness, needed to hear them.” Feldhahn recently spoke with Kathryn Whitbourne about her new book, which came out in an expanded Christian edition earlier this month.

What surprised you most while doing your research?
Seriously, if I didn’t say, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” it did not make it into the book. From my surveys of men, I realized there was a lot that we as women had misunderstood. One example: There is the work world and the personal world, and they are completely separate. You don’t bring personal feelings into the workplace. Women aren’t like that. The problem is that when men see anybody not following these laws of gravity, they see them as un-businesslike, and that’s a damaging perception.

One of the things that surprised me was that men said women were too direct. Hasn’t the conventional wisdom been that women are not direct enough?
[One of the issues I raised] in For Women Only, which was all about our home life, is that men can hear you speaking disrespect without you ever intending it. So sometimes at work, when a woman approaches something in a very direct way, it hits that “you’re saying I’m inadequate” nerve and that’s the most personally painful feeling. A man is much more likely than a woman to be overly sensitive to whether he is perceived as adequate or inadequate. So rather than charging in, it would be better for the woman to take a respectful, direct approach, like saying, “I’m not sure I agree with you.”

You also put out an expanded Christian edition of this book. What is an example of something that is unique to those who work in faith-based settings?
There is a temptation for women to think that the rule about men mentally compartmentalizing the personal and work world does not apply because it is a very family-oriented environment. People will ask for prayers for family members and so on. The reality is, it still does. The difference is that in a ministry environment, men might be more willing to listen and expect that will be part of the discussion, but they really would prefer to stick with the business of the ministry because it feels more efficient and effective to them.

Are the gender dynamics in a Christian workplace different from those in a secular setting?
I would hope that those in leadership positions would make sure that everyone has the same opportunities. We talk about the fact that everyone is equal at the foot of the Cross, and that is an important principle. In some faith-based environments, women sometimes don’t feel they get as many opportunities, but some of that is because women don’t recognize that they are handling things in a way that makes it difficult for their male colleagues.

What about encountering men who think it is not women’s role to lead?
I know that is the mindset of some Christian men, but . . . the vast majority of the Christian men I surveyed seemed very motivated to help women advance and be as effective as they can possibly be. And that was very encouraging and heartening to find out. We know that we are made with just the same skills and abilities and gifts in the eyes of God.

What advice do you give to the Christian woman in the secular workplace?
There is a principle that shouldn’t be controversial at all, that you love your neighbor as yourself. In marriage, there is a biblical command for husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands regardless of whether they have earned it that day. It works the same way in the corporate environment. We may think our boss doesn’t know what he is doing but it will be most honoring to God if we can treat him with the same respect we would want to be treated with. That will give us favor in his eyes and you’ll be even more effective in changing things once you have that favor.

Kathryn Whitbourne is a writer and editor based in Atlanta. She has written for the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, The Miami Herald, and PINK magazine.

In Iran, a Covert Mission to Bring Women to Jesus

When Michele heard Naseem speak at a luncheon about her work in Iran, she knew immediately that this was a woman we needed to meet. Naseem had the stories we longed to hear. Naseem was gracious to us, but from the beginning she had a difficult time with our interview. She confessed as much: “You must not speak against anyone’s religion. It is not that I don’t want to tell you the stories. But how can I be certain you will not put anyone at risk?”

Naseem has good reason to fear. A quick Internet survey on Iran finds extremism and conditions that raise concerns for women and girls — actually, for everyone who lives there. Police sweep through Tehran, looking for anyone who appears “too Western.” Women must wear dark layers of loose-fitting clothes, and their hair must be entirely covered. Those who question or resist are arrested on the spot.

A peaceful gathering of women on International Women’s Day was met with the brutal arrests of 30 women in a park. After 17 years in operation, Zanan, a popular women’s magazine, was closed down because it was “corrupting the culture.” And just a month before this writing, a 22-year-old woman was sentenced to five years in prison for participating in an event called “One Million Signatures,” which supports greater rights for women. A female student who complained of sexual harassment by a senior male lecturer was also charged, despite the fact that YouTube postings show the woman’s fellow students with an audio recording of the lecturer sexually propositioning her. “Publicizing certain crimes is worse than the crimes themselves,” the local prosecutor claimed.

This is hard to understand from a Western viewpoint. But Iran is a theocratic republic, 98 percent Muslim, with a strict legal system based on sharia law. Sharia brings together elements from the Qur’an and the Hadith, a collection of the deeds and words of Muhammad, plus judges’ rulings from Islam’s first centuries. It also establishes such things as the inferior status of women. What Westerners are most familiar with is its penal code: the prescribed punishments for sexual offenses that include stoning; for theft that include amputation; for apostasy against Islam, for which the punishment is death.

It would seem that the sexual abuse and exploitation of girls is a huge contradiction in a culture that stones and hangs people for any hint of sexual impurity. “Not really,” Naseem said. “Girls are considered second-class citizens. Exploitation and repression actually fit right together.”

But things are changing in Iran, Naseem told us. Many educated women are pushing for change — carefully, but pushing nevertheless. Then she told us of a far more amazing change: “Many are also turning to Christ.”

///

The mother of Dorri [one of the women Naseem told us about] died when Dorri was quite young. Her father remarried, and her new stepmother . . . constantly hurled insults at her, beat her and generally made her life miserable. “At one point, her stepmother started a fire in the house intending to burn Dorri alive,” Naseem said. “Dorri barely escaped.” As she grew, Dorri knew for certain she could never be loved. . . . As soon as she reached adolescence, her family arranged a marriage for her, but that drove her only into deeper despair.

There was a nice park not far from her house, and for long hours Dorri sat there alone. One older woman who came often was Nahid, a widow who lived with her son. He greatly admired his mother for her kind ways. “Most women go out of the house with an empty basket, hoping to fill it with fruits and vegetables. But you, my mother, go out with a basket full of good things and are only happy when you share everything and the basket is empty.”

Nahid’s desire was to somehow share God’s love with one person each day. She often fasted and prayed, asking God to show her creative ways to accomplish this. Some days she would ride several buses and leave literature in seat compartments. Other days she would walk through the park, praying that God would allow someone to cross her path who was willing to receive what she had to share.

One day Nahid had a great abundance of Christian literature in her basket, all carefully hidden under a layer of apples. How could she find a way to get these “messages of hope” to the most receptive people? When she arrived at the park, Nahid was amazed to see an extremely large gathering of women. Could it be that God had sent them all in answer to her prayer?

After an entire day of visiting with the women and handing out literature, Nahid was tired, so she sat down with her basket of apples. Suddenly the police started to arrest the women, who had actually gathered in the park to demonstrate for women’s rights. When the police got to Nahid, they were especially aggressive.

“I am only sitting here eating apples,” Nahid said calmly, despite her growing fear. They grabbed her basket and roughly dug down to the bottom. Panic rose in Nahid. Had she given away all the literature, or was there some still buried under the apples? She couldn’t be certain. The police grabbed her basket and turned it upside down, then they grabbed her and shook out the flowing clothing that covered her from head to foot. Only when the police turned to walk away did Nahid dare to breathe.

Another woman was alone in the park that day too. It was Dorri. In her safe place on the outskirts of the park, she picked up a wrinkled piece of literature and tucked it into the fold of her chador, then she went home.

In the safety of her house, Dorri took out the paper, smoothed it and read the words, “God is love.” What a strange concept, Dorri thought. God is creator. God is judge. But God is love? Could that be true?

Could God love her? Dorri had to find out.

Not too long after, Dorri went with her husband on a business trip outside the country. They were invited to a gathering of Iranians who turned out to be Christians, and there she heard the amazing message again: “God is love. He loves every person he created. He sent his son to die for your sins.” The pastor who spoke invited people to talk to him after his message.

Reluctantly Dorri and her husband made their way up to him. “We don’t want to receive this message,” Dorri’s husband insisted. “But would you pray with us anyway?” In that moment, Dorri’s life changed forever. As the couple prayed, she gladly received God’s love in Christ. In time, her husband did the same.

“You would not believe the change in Dorri,” Naseem told us. “Only God could change someone the way she was changed. She is confident and joyful, truly a bold minister of God’s love in one of the largest churches, though I dare not tell you where.”

It is no surprise to hear that the underground church in Iran endures many pressures. But we rejoice to hear about the many miracles it is experiencing too.

“Jesus is so attractive, especially to women,” Naseem told us. “The way he received women, showing them respect and kindness, is something women here deeply desire. His treatment of the woman caught in adultery touches them. This is like no other religious teacher they’ve heard.”

A growing number of Iranian Christian women are amazingly bold despite the repression. One talkative Christian woman, Sima, placed a telephone call to her friend Maria. Hardly taking a breath, she said, “I just wanted to tell you I was praying for your daughter who is so ill. God encouraged my heart, and I am certain she will be well! . . . Please don’t cry. . . . Maria, why are you sobbing?”

A man’s voice broke into the conversation on the other end of the telephone line. “My wife cannot talk anymore. You have reached the wrong number. Goodbye.”

Did I dial the wrong number? Sima thought in confusion. The person answered to Maria, and that certainly is not a common name in Iran.

The next day Sima received a call from the same man. “I had to call you back today,” the man said. “We have never heard of anyone in our country with the same name as my wife. But your words gave her great comfort. Our teenage daughter is a drug addict. My wife had the best night of sleep she’s had in years. We want to talk to you about some of the things you said. Could you and your husband meet us for tea?”

Taken from Forgotten Girls: Stories of Hope and Courage by Kay Marshall Strom and Michele Rickett. Copyright©2009 by Kay Marshall Strom and Michele Rickett. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press PO Box 1400 Downers Grove, IL 60515. www.ivpress.com.

Women at Halftime: Where to Go Next?

Recently I was dining with a friend who, like me, works in the media. She is in her mid-40s and realizes that her days on the air are numbered. Putting aside the issue of why it’s acceptable for men in their 70s to be on the air but women over 50 are considered too old, she was grasping for ideas on how to reinvent herself so as to stay employed for another two decades.

She has reached success, but it’s ephemeral. She no sooner reached the top of her game than the game she was playing shut down. Nearly every week now she and I hear of someone in our field who’s moving on, retiring, or being forced to take a buyout.

My friend is in what author and Texas entrepreneur Bob Buford calls "halftime" — that period in your life when you switch from what you’ve done for the past 20 years to what you will do for the rest of your life. Call it self-renewal or the next big thing or refocusing. You begin asking what you want to be remembered for and what your epitaph would be. You think of all the things about your life that dissatisfy you and that, if you’re going to change them, you must do it now.

When I decided I wanted a child and that I would do whatever I had to do to get one, I spent my 47th birthday talking with a local adoption agency. Jobs don’t last, I figured, but people do. Three years later, I became a mom — one of the better decisions I’ve ever made.

A friend of mine decided to take a chance on a thrice-divorced — and repentant — man, and got married for the first time at age 54. She is as happy as a clam.

Famed rescuer Corrie Ten Boom was age 50 in 1942, the year her family became involved in the Dutch resistance and began hiding Jews in their Haarlem home. She spent most of her 54th year in the Ravensbruck concentration camp, and in the years after that became known for her helpful advice on forgiveness. She was 79 when her most famous book, The Hiding Place, was published in 1971.

So, good things do happen in one’s second half, especially since 70 has become the new 50.

Buford’s Halftime and Beyond Halftime are aimed mostly at men who have made their fortunes in the first half of their lives, done the wife-and-kids bit, and are ready to lead lives that are about meaning more than money. Some are only in their 40s when they realize they are nearing burnout. Others are forced into retirement by their 60s, he says, with at least 20 good years ahead of them. That’s the time to mentor, advise, and train like-minded acolytes among the young.

Many women do not have the luxury of dialing up life’s second half while living off the proceeds of the first. They have long since hit the glass ceiling, never getting to the point where they can retire on their savings. Others have spent a lifetime invested in their families and are in no shape to compete in today’s shrunken workplace.

As my friend and I talked, she admitted that she has little interest for anything else besides journalism. She is having to dig deep within herself to find wellsprings of other dreams — buried for decades but now worth examining — of what else she loves to do. She has to listen to what her heart wants.

And while she’s still employed, she must develop a parallel career so that when she does make the jump, the foundation is laid. People ask me how I find the time to write books while working full-time as a journalist, serving seven years on the board of a journalists group, and in recent years, mothering a small child. I find the time because I have to; in these uncertain times, we all need alternate options and revenue streams: whether we are cleaning homes, baking cupcakes, or otherwise freelancing our wares.

I would be interested in hearing from other women who have taken action to change their lives at the mid-point. What did you do and how did you afford it?

It's quite clear that the current economic downturn means major decisions for most of us somewhere down the line. Lent, the season of introspection, fasting, and repentance, begins in less than a month (Feb. 17); it's an ideal time to ask God whether to take that less-traveled path. Setting some time apart has, in the past, helped me to gauge what may be coming my way not only in the immediate future, but also in the next 10 years. It's very difficult to make major life changes without at least some time alone to ponder and pray. For this, the silence of mid-winter is ideal.

Iris Robinson, Jesus Loves You More Than You Will Know

Sex. Money. Power. Words that call to mind the recent debacles of Tiger Woods and David Letterman and a host of other celebrities before them. And now Iris Robinson — a self-described evangelical Christian and the wife of Northern Ireland’s First Minister (featured in the video below) — has made the news.

First, Robinson admitted to an affair with a 19-year-old boy. Then financial improprieties came to light. Robinson had secured political favors to benefit her lover’s business. The financial deals included kickbacks to line her own wallet. In the midst of it all, Robinson attempted suicide. And the fact that she has called homosexuals “an abomination” on public radio has not garnered her any public support or sympathy.

Robinson certainly does not stand alone as a prominent Christian caught in adultery. And the recent public events speak to a series of personal decisions that most likely started many years ago. It’s a story that recalls that of King David, deciding to stay home instead of going to war with his men. Power had allowed him to neglect his responsibilities as king. He became lazy. He surrounded himself with “yes men” who approved of whatever decisions he made, who were willing to summon the beautiful married woman from across the way and turn a blind eye as he invited her into his bedroom. That first decision to stay home from battle led to adultery led to pregnancy led to murder.

But finally, the prophet Nathan spoke up. And David repented. And the Lord forgave him. This story is recorded for us in both 2 Samuel and Psalm 51; it’s as if the Holy Spirit wanted to say, “Pay attention. This could happen to you. And here’s what you need to do if it does.”

Was there a Nathan in Iris Robinson’s life? Who was asking her about her marriage? Who was asking about her friendship with a much younger man? It may be that someone spoke up and Iris Robinson didn’t listen. But it also may be that no one spoke up at all.

In the Prologue to John’s gospel, John writes that Jesus is “full of grace and truth” (1:14). It is easy to state the truth: An adulterous affair is wrong. And it is easy to state the gracious response: Peter Robinson said that his wife has asked for, and received, his forgiveness. It is harder to approach one another with grace and truth before the disastrous decision is made. Christian leaders who have avoided scandals have done so not by having stronger moral fiber, but by admitting their own propensity to weakness. Billy Graham, for instance, always traveled with a friend in order to protect himself against the temptations that inevitably come while alone in a hotel room, the temptations that inevitably come with success and power. Any one of us could be Iris Robinson. None of us is immune to temptation. But God has given us one another to guard against the devastation that the misuse of sex, money, and power can bring.

Forty-three years ago, Simon and Garfunkel wrote a song for The Graduate that featured another Mrs. Robinson in an affair with a teenage boy.

Well here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know, whoa whoa whoa . . .
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray, hey hey hey . . .

The tune is catchy and inviting, but for those who listen to it and know the film’s story, it holds a somber undercurrent. The last person whom Mrs. Robinson wants to acknowledge is Jesus. The last place she wants to go is to a house of prayer.

Yet amid the just charges of hypocrisy, amid the righteous indignation leveled against Peter and Iris Robinson for their participation in the sordid stuff of adulterous affairs and kickbacks and mental illness, Simon and Garfunkel’s words ring true. Iris Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know.

Amy Julia Becker is a writer, a student at Princeton Theological Seminary, wife to Peter, and mother to Penny and William. She blogs at Thin Places.

Top 10 Posts of the Past 30 Days

(10) "Disney Croaks with Newest Princess Film," by Elrena Evans // Comments: 13
The voodoo and black magic in The Princess and the Frog made for a disturbing movie-viewing experience.

(9) "Consider the Vampire," by Laura Leonard // Comments: 10
Why the Twilight novels deserve our attention — and why they should raise concern.

(8) "When Stem Cell Research Isn't Embryonic," by Alicia Cohn // Comments: 12
Christians have reason to celebrate miracles of adult stem cell research.

(7) "Facebook and the Amazing Technicolor Bra Update," by Ruth Moon // Comments: 11
Does the bra-color meme — meant to raise cancer awareness — end up hurting women more than it helps them?

(6) "The Top 10 Her.meneutics Posts of the Year," compiled by Katelyn Beaty // Comments: 2
2009 was the year of viral dance videos, Christians mired in pageant scandals, reality TV marriages, and church burnout thrown in for good measure.

(5) "Resolving to Fail in 2010," by Lynn Roush, guest blogger // Comments: 2
New Year's resolutions are great, if they point us to our absolute dependence on God's grace to change.

(4) "LaVonne's Top 40 Books of the Decade," by LaVonne Neff // Comments: 4
A good list to take the next time you go to the library.

(3) "Confession: I Stopped Giving to the Church," by Sarah Pulliam Bailey // Comments: 18
There's something psychologically important about writing a check and putting it in the plate.

(2) "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, I Don't Want a Match," by Stephanie Krzywonos, guest blogger // Comments: 48
Most yentas mean well, but their meddling only adds unnecessary pressure to a single's life.

(1) "Where Was God in the Earthquake?" by Fleming Rutledge, guest blogger // Comments: 22
A theological response to the Haitian calamity.

'I Lived Next Door to a Brothel'

Last week President Obama launched a nationwide human trafficking awareness campaign, proclaiming this month National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month.

Leading up to this month, my sister, Marissa, and I began e-mailing back and forth about the injustice of slavery and human trafficking. “I can’t help feel guilty — guilty of ignorance, lack of action, or the privilege and freedom into which we were born,” she wrote.

I understood her sentiments. The summer after my sophomore year of college, I was volunteering at a school for slum children in Bangalore, India.

Shortly after my arrival, I discovered that I was living next door to a brothel.

My housemate and I decided to invite some of the girls over for dinner, hoping to hear their stories, but our invitation was turned down. We soon learned that the girls were not allowed to leave the premises for more than five minutes. Any errands lasting longer could result in a severe beating, or worse.

It seemed that all I could do was report the brothel to uninterested authorities.

Like Marissa, I felt guilty and defeated in the face of injustice.

Reports suggest that globally, there are more people living as slaves today than at any other time in history.

Unlike willful prostitution, modern-day slavery means having no control over your body. Your life is at someone else’s command. You cannot control where you are taken or how many men will rape you per day. You cannot control whether or not you get free time, food or sleep, and whether you get to live or die. And there’s often no escape.

India, the world’s largest democracy, has the largest number of bonded slaves. At least 100 million people are involved in human trafficking in India, according to Home Secretary Madhukar Gupta (May 2009).

That’s roughly a third of the population of the United States.

But India is not the only place where human trafficking is a problem. Modern-day slavery is a multi-billion dollar enterprise, and the underground slave trade has flourished in one of the richest nations of the world: the United States.

Annually, between 14,500 and 17,500 slaves are trafficked into the U.S. alone, according to the Department of Justice. “These numbers do not reflect the estimated 100,000 minors that are trafficked within U.S. borders into prostitution, or the uncounted individuals that never receive services or law enforcement intervention,” the Dalit Freedom Network reports.

Who answers for these minors? Who answers for the 1.2 million (approximately 40 percent) of India’s prostitutes who are children? Each of them is fearfully and wonderfully made and was knit together in his or her mother’s womb.

“While guilt is a strong motivator, hope is more powerful. Active hope sets justice and love in motion because it contains a vision for something greater than the present,” my sister Marissa wrote.

Active hope. One way that I fight human trafficking today is by sponsoring a girl in India through World Vision. By helping to provide Megana with an education, I’m ensuring that there’s one less girl joining the line in the red-light district.

National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month is not important to me just because I once lived near a brothel. And it’s not just my issue because I'm a woman. Human trafficking is everyone’s issue. If you believe in the equal dignity and respect of all people, it’s your issue, too.

No one needs to feel defeated in the face of injustice. As more organizations and individuals choose to get involved, hope is spreading.

The Dalit Freedom Network works to set up programs, schools, and child sponsorships for India’s poorest; they represent Indian slaves internationally in Washington, D.C. and at the United Nations. International Justice Mission (IJM) provides the victims of slavery and sex trafficking with rescue and aftercare, prosecutes perpetrators, and promotes functioning public justice systems.

A recent surge of Christian recording artists voicing passion for the human rights include Phillip LaRue, who is working on a compilation CD on human trafficking in India. He writes on his MySpace page, “I believe fighting child prostitution has become my life long cause and passion . . . Whether I am on stage singing or just living life I want to devote my talents into growing awareness. . .” Heather Clark has spent the last three years recording an album on human trafficking and other human rights issues, with a traveling dance production to raise funds and awareness.

And five years ago, Natalie Grant, the 2006 Female Vocalist of the Year for the Gospel Music Association, founded the Home Foundation, which provides after-care homes and medicine for children and women coming out of prostitution. (For the estimated 100,000 trafficked victims identified in the United States per year, there are currently only 100 beds.) The Home Foundation’s college internship program sets up opportunities to spend summers fighting human trafficking while based in Mumbai, Moldova, or Nashville.

Whether you are a college student, a stay-at-home mom, a working professional, a recording artist, or somewhere in between, you can respond with “active hope” to make a difference this month:

• Pray for both the victims and the perpetrators of trafficking and slavery.
• Read IJM President Gary Haugen’s book Good News about Injustice.
• Donate money to a charity that fights human trafficking and slavery.
• Resist spending habits that inadvertently fuel slavery or trafficking.
• Write to U.S. government officials in support of the Child Protection Compact Act.
• Sponsor a child to help keep him or her in school instead of being trafficked/enslaved.

How else do you suggest we work to fight trafficking and slavery this month? Do you know of any artists, nonprofit organizations, churches, or other efforts dedicated to fighting human trafficking and slavery? I would love to hear.

Davita Maharaj is a Fellow at the Trinity Forum Academy in Royal Oak, Maryland, and is pursuing a master's degree in international human rights law at Oxford University. The top photo is of a Nepalese mother searching for her daughter, a victim of human trafficking, in Mumbai, India (U.S. State Department). The bottom photo is of a Bangladeshi 16-year-old holding a picture of herself before she was sold into sex trafficking.

Saved by Spanking

I was spanked. Not often, because I was a good kid. But still, I have one clear memory of getting a solid swat across my butt: I was probably 5 and had thrown a doozy of a tantrum in the grocery store. My mom told me that if I didn’t calm down, she would spank me when we got home. I didn’t calm down. So when we got home, she unloaded the car, put away the groceries while I sat, brooding and panicking. When she finished, she called me over with a pat of her lap and gave me a couple whacks.

I don’t remember crying. I’m sure it didn’t hurt (my mom’s pretty wimpy). So of course it hurt my mom more than it hurt me, as she assured me when she hugged me afterward. And in fact, according to a study by Marjorie Gunnoe, a professor of psychology/child development at Calvin College (full disclosure: my beloved alma mater), those whacks made me the well-adjusted adult that I am today (*cough, cough*).

While other research (the ones that have kept my husband and me from spanking our children — well, except that once) has shown that spanking ramps up aggression and other not-so-great attributes in kids, Gunnoe’s study says that “children who remember being spanked on the backside with an open hand do better in school, perform more volunteer work and are more optimistic than others who were not physically disciplined,” according to The Grand Rapids Press.

Of course, aside from loving and following Jesus, the qualities that Gunnoe mentions — doing better in school, being uber-volunteers, and being hopeful — just about sum up what I want for my kids. So now I’m wondering if I ought to get cranking with the spanking.

Gunnoe’s study certainly isn’t the only time I’ve wondered if we have made the right — or the most godly — choice regarding discipline. I mean, I’ve read Proverbs. I know the verses, the ones that say that kids who get the rod turn out better. I’ve also read the one that says that kids who don’t get the rod shame their mothers. But, yikes! I’m pretty positive God doesn’t want me beating my kids with a shepherd’s rod.

That said, Scripture is pretty clear that God expects us to use some form of correction — and that God himself punishes those he loves. Hebrews 12:6 says that “. . . the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

This can be hard to read, too. We don’t like to imagine our loving, gracious Father doling out punishments, especially physical ones. Yet we see it in Scripture: from Jacob’s zap on the hip to Zechariah’s loss of speech. When God sets out to discipline those whom he loves, he seems to make it memorable — which brings me back to Gunnoe’s study.

What interests me is this comment from the Grand Rapids Press article: “Marjorie Gunnoe says the study finds children who remember being spanked [not beat] on the backside [not the head or ribs] with an open hand [not a fist or a switch]” are the ones who do better. Those who remember.

God wanted Jacob to remember his wrestling match. The Jews continued to remember it by not eating the meat from the tendon. God wanted Zechariah to remember his doubt and gave him nine long muted months to think about it. Apparently God knows that when we remember a punishment, we are more likely to change.

I’m probably not going to become a spanking mom — even Gunnoe cautions that her study shouldn’t be read as a “green light” for spanking — but this has given me pause about the ways I do discipline my kids. Instead of focusing on whether to spank or not to spank, maybe we should be looking at memorable forms of discipline. This sounds Draconian, I realize. I don’t mean it to be.

For what it’s worth, that one spanking isn’t the only punishment I remember. I can still taste the Dial soap in my mouth from when I told a taunting neighbor boy that I would see him in hell. (Really, I was being witty. But it’s a long story.) I also remember various droop-eyed looks of disappointment from my mom, my dad, and one high-school teacher. Now that I think about it, there are plenty of punishments I remember — and they are all the ones that “adjusted” me.

So, that’s where I am in grappling with this study. I wonder if it’s less about spanking itself and more about parents being parents, kids being kids, boundaries being boundaries, actions having consequences. These are the things that echo the heart of our loving, gracious God — who disciplines us because of who and how he is. Because he wants us to remember that he is God. And that he is good. All the time.

Caryn Rivadeneira is the author of Mama’s Got a Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Behind All That Mom (WaterBrook, 2009). Visit her at CarynRivadeneira.com or the Mommy Revolution blog.

For more CT coverage on parenting, see our January 2010 cover story by Leslie Leyland Fields, “The Myth of the Perfect Parent.”

China's Own Marriage Crisis

Family planning has become a controversial phrase in China, due to the government’s One Child Policy, a vast social experiment launched in 1979 to cap population growth and speed up economic development. State media reported recently that more than 24 million men in China are expected to be without spouses by year 2020. This is the latest consequence of a policy that has led to utility-based, sex-specific abortions (when faced with only one choice, boys have greater economic potential for parents) and created a critical gender imbalance.

The report, from the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, raises critical questions about what the Chinese nuclear family will look like in 10 years, or whether it will even exist. Along with the impending marriage crisis and already endangered family unit, subsequent problems will likely include increased underage marriage and forced prostitution.

Zhao Baige, vice-minister of the National Population and Family Planning Commission of China, maintains that the widespread use of contraceptives (85 percent of reproduction-age Chinese women use them) is a sign of success. “I’m not saying what we have done is 100 percent right, but I’m sure we are going in the right direction and now 1.3 billion people have benefited,” she told China Daily.

Her perspective seems short-term. Workers ages 50 to 64 make up over half of China’s work force today, a result of the 1950 population swell. “[O]ver the coming generation, China’s prospective manpower growth rate is zero,” reports the Far Eastern Economic Review. In comparison, think of America’s baby-boomer generation, which is slowly leaving the work force and becoming dependent on the next, smaller generation.

Government interference into the family unit is scary and often has unintended consequences. Perhaps just as alarming, though, is that, according to the CIA’s World Factbook, America’s estimated total fertility rate is 2.05 (children per woman). China’s is 1.79. That means the U.S. hovers just above the replacement birth rate of an average two children per women, while the U.S. abortion policy (one of many factors influencing the numbers) is purely voluntary.

I have reason to be thankful that my parents were not forced to choose whether I was a sound enough investment to let me live and be their one source of care in old age. But to me (unmarried, without children), all of these statistics and related serious economic forecast also shed new light on the topic of marriage. Recently, The Wall Street Journal reported on the seeming effect the economic recession was having on marriages in the U.S.:

. . . the Great Recession is leading some spouses to develop a renewed appreciation for the social and economic solidarity engendered by marriage and family life. While it is true that the recession has been a source of harmful stress for many couples and families, a recent Pew Research survey found that about four in 10 Americans report that the recession has brought their “family closer together.” Thus, today’s “tough times” seem to be reminding a large minority of couples that marriage is not only about an intense, continuing emotional connection.

In other words, America might be rediscovering that marriage is about more than a legal status. The institution of marriage brings social stability, and I’ve always understood that biblically, God intended us to relate to society through family. The practical aspects of marriage must be part of the divine plan, and it might be wise for us Christians to consider the idea that God has an economic plan too: one that accounted for men and women, and multiplying generations. A country like China that intentionally threatens the family structure — or even one that usually downplays its importance, such as America — is bound to face the consequences of replacing that system with something man-made.

Dr. Grace Augustine: Avatar's Christian Character?

James Cameron, writer and director of Avatar and winner last night of the Golden Globe for Best Director, does not score points for subtlety. The guns are big and loud. The love story is predictable. And the names? There’s unobtanium, the element pursued by corporate bigwigs on earth. There’s Pandora, the name of the planet where the story unfolds, and an obvious sign that this story will not end well. There’s also Dr. Grace Augustine.

Grace, played by Sigourney Weaver, is the lead scientific researcher on Pandora. Her name suggests connections to the Christian faith, and yet the film doesn’t make them clearly. The first words we hear from Grace’s mouth are, “Where’s my cigarette?” She is brash and assertive, dismissive of Jake Sully, a paraplegic ex-Marine who will soon become the film’s hero. Jake and Grace both have avatars, which means they can enter a pod, fall asleep, and wake up inhabiting the body of one of the Na'vi, the natives of Pandora.

Grace is more “herself,” or at least more likable and free-spirited, in her Pandoran body. She smiles more. She revels in the foliage, in learning about the foreign ecosystem. In the past, she started a school for Na'vi children, who still flock to her side. And along the way, we get a glimpse of Grace’s understanding of Pandora’s spiritual dimension.

Much has been made of Avatar's pantheistic spirituality. But pantheism — defined as the belief that "God is everything and everything is God" — isn’t quite the right word for it. The people of Pandora believe that all life is interconnected, trees and plants and animals and humans (or whatever we’re supposed to call the tall, lanky blue creatures). But the Na'vi also believe in a personal deity, Eywa, who listens and responds to them.

As a scientist, Grace believes that the spiritual beliefs of the Na'vi have a biological basis. Every living thing on Pandora really is connected, biologically speaking, and pulses with an energy that fuels the planet. She is not dismissive of the Na'vi's spirituality, yet she does equate it with biological fact.

But then Grace gets wounded by gunshot, and Sully asks the Na'vi to use the power of Eywa to heal Grace. Surrounded by chanting Na'vi, Grace lies before the “throne” of Eywa (the center of a huge tree). The tendrils of Eywa encircle Grace in both her human and avatar body. Apparently, the hope is that Grace’s consciousness can move from her dying human body to her healthy avatar body. The transition, however, fails. As Grace is dying, she says, with joy, “Eywa. I see her.”

These final words become Grace's statement of faith. She uses the language of the Na'vi to acknowledge Eywa as more than a biological reality. For this tribe (as for followers of Jesus), seeing involves more than the physical use of eyesight. It involves understanding, knowing, giving and receiving from one to another. So when Grace says that she “sees” Eywa, she is acknowledging the spiritual reality behind the biological truth. She is acknowledging a personal deity. And perhaps, in her death, there is grace at work.

Amy Julia Becker is a writer, a student at Princeton Theological Seminary, wife to Peter and mother to Penny and William. She blogs at Thin Places.

Where Was God in the Earthquake?

At the time of the tsunami in the Indian Ocean, David Bentley Hart, the Eastern Orthodox theologian, wrote a column in The Wall Street Journal that attracted wide attention. Bill Eerdmans, of Eerdmans Publishing, contacted Hart and asked him to expand the column into a book. Hart did so, and the resulting The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami? is the most useful short treatment of the problem of evil and suffering that we have.

A tweet I saw this morning reminded me of Hart's book. The tweet said, "Why don't we have earthquakes on Park Avenue? The people of Haiti are so poor."

Why, indeed?

A frequent response heard from Christians is, "God has some purpose in this." "Something good will come out of this." "Haiti will become stronger as a result of this."

In one sense, all these things are true; however, these are deeply wrong responses, both theologically and pastorally. In a long chapter on the problem of evil that I wrote last year for my forthcoming book on the Crucifixion, I reflected long and hard on these matters. Glib, monochromatic responses to catastrophe should have no place in our faith.

It is important to maintain two contradictory attitudes at once in many areas of Christian theology, and this is one of those areas. These are the two clashing points of view in this case:

Point of view #1: The Creation does declare the glory of God, and the "Thunderstorm Psalm" (Ps. 29: "The Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon . . .") proclaims that message magnificently. God is not only the Creator but also the One who rules over the cosmos. The theophany (a manifestation of the power of God) in the Book of Job (chs. 38-41) is the preeminent biblical passage treating of this subject, and the phrase "the doors of the sea" is derived from 38:8.

Many people have experienced a sort of theophany even in the midst of destruction; people have testified to this even when they have had to face the dire consequences of a natural catastrophe (there are examples of this in Isaac's Storm, the book about the hurricane that destroyed Galveston, and in David McCullough's account of the Johnstown Flood). So the wild, untamed aspect of nature can be either comforting or exhilarating or both, depending on one's point of view.

Point of view #2: At the same time, nature is not benign. Nature is "red in tooth and claw." Nature, like the human race, is fallen and is subject to the powers of the Evil One who continues to occupy this sphere. Flannery O'Connor wrote that her work was about the action of grace in territory held largely by the Devil; we should not fail to realize that "nature" is part of that occupied territory. Nature is often hostile, as Annie Dillard has so powerfully shown us, and the nature-worshipers among us fail to acknowledge this hostility in their pantheistic enthusiasm. Only by action of the Creator will the peaceable kingdom arrive, where the lion lies down with the lamb. (Isn't it suggestive that "Lion of Judah" and "Lamb of God" are both titles of our Lord?)

The conflict between these two realities cannot be resolved in this life. Does the Creator of all that is have the power to say to those tectonic plates, "Be still!" Of course. Then why doesn't he? Why does he permit earthquakes in the poorest country in the hemisphere?

We do not know.

Saying "there is a reason for everything" may be true, but that is a cruel and heartless response at the point of great suffering. The most pastoral response, as well as the most truthful theological response, is to live in the contradiction.

Several years ago, in Piedmont, Alabama, a tornado came through the town on Palm Sunday and crushed a United Methodist church, killing the pastor's daughter. The pastor said, "I don't think this is a time for asking 'why?' We just have to help each other through this."

There are many ways to give money for relief in Haiti. (We are sending ours to Episcopal Relief and Development.) All Christians need to pray and be mindful of the terrible sorrow and need. And we can read accounts of the disaster and take the details of the suffering to heart. Here is one such account, from a statement posted online at The New York Times:

Words cannot begin to describe the devastation that has taken place in Port au Prince, Haiti.

I am the Director of Disaster Services for The Salvation Army in Haiti, and I am from the United States. My wife and I have been in [Port-au-Prince] since April, and have fallen deeply in love with the country and its people.

When the earthquake struck, I was driving down the mountain from Petionville. Our truck was being tossed to and fro like a toy, and when it stopped, I looked out the windows to see buildings “pancaking” down, like I have never witnessed before. Traffic, of course, came to a stand-still, while thousands of people poured out into the streets, crying, carrying bloody bodies, looking for anyone who could help them. We piled as many bodies into the back of our truck, and took them down the hill with us, hoping to find medical attention. All of them were older, scared, bleeding, and terrified. It took about 2 hours to go less than 1 mile. Traffic was horrible, devastation was everywhere, and suffering humanity was front and center.

When we could drive no further, we left the truck parked on the side of the street, and walked the remaining 2 miles to get back to the Army compound. What I found was very sad! All of the security walls were down. The Children’s Home itself seems pretty intact, but our quarters, which is attached, are destroyed. Unlivable. The walls and ceiling are still standing — but so badly compromised that I wouldn’t even think of trying to stay there. All of the children, and hundreds of neighbors, are sleeping in our playground area tonight. Occasionally, there is another tremor — another reminder that we are not yet finished with this calamity. And when it comes, all of the people cry out and the children are terrified.

As I am sitting outside now, with most people trying to get a little sleep, I can hear the moans and cries of the neighbors. One of our staff went to a home in the neighborhood, to try to be of assistance to the woman who lived there. But she was too late.

The scene will be repeated over and over again.

Fleming Rutledge, having spent 22 years in parish ministry, now has an international preaching vocation. Her most recent book is Not Ashamed of the Gospel: Sermons from Paul's Letters to the Romans. This post originally appeared on Rutledge's blog.

Would I Have Hid Jews During the Holocaust?

This Monday marked the passing of Miep Gies, the last surviving member of the group that hid Anne Frank and her family during the Holocaust. Gies, the Christian Dutch woman who died at age 100 after a fall, is credited with preserving Anne's diary and giving it to Anne's father, Otto (the only member of Anne's family to survive the death camps), after the Holocaust.

Reading about Gies's death reminded me of falling in love as a teenager with The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom's story of hiding Jews in Holland during World War II. Despite the horror within its pages, I read the book over and over, moved by ten Boom's incredible faith. "I would do that," I told myself as I read the book. "If I had lived then, I would have done exactly what her family did. I would not have stood silently by."

In college I cried my way through the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., and attended a lecture by a woman who had been active in the movement to shelter Jews in Poland. I had impassioned conversations with friends about what we would have done, had we lived then. "We would have helped," we said. But what if such helping endangered our parents, our loved ones? Well, then we didn't know. We weren't quite sure. We hoped we would have found it within ourselves to do the right thing.

In graduate school I attended a screening of Into the Arms of Strangers and listened as one of the Kindertransport (refugees, mostly Jewish children, who were transported to the U.K. and taken in by families during the Holocaust) recounted her story. "I would have taken in those children," I said to my then-new husband. "But would you do that now?" he asked. "What if it meant the life of someone you loved? What if it meant me?"

Now, I read about Gies, quoted as saying about her involvement during the war, "I simply did what I could to help." And I wonder what I would have done, had I lived then. Endanger the lives of my three small children to rescue a stranger? I don't know.

I want to think that I would do as ten Boom and Miep Gies and countless other believers did, and refuse to do nothing. I want to think that I am brave enough, my faith strong enough, to be God's hands and feet on the earth, as Teresa of Avila said. Even in the most horrific of horrors.

What do you think? What would you do?

Facebook and the Amazing Technicolor Bra Update

If you logged on to Facebook last weekend, you might have noticed a barrage of updates naming colors: Blue. Black. Leopard print. None. (Cue sound effects: “Eww, gross!”)

The barrage of colors was part of an effort to “spread the wings of cancer awareness” and “see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status,” according to the chain message passed around Facebook.

The color posts also elicited a blogosphere debate about whether the campaign is appropriate or even raises breast cancer awareness in the first place.

Mary Carmichael at Newsweek’s Human Condition blog wrote, “In the age of exposed bra straps and outerwear as underwear, this campaign doesn't strike me as very risqué — typing in the word "beige" is a far cry from dirty talk. But ultimately, what's the point of it? Almost all the people who are updating their status boxes with bra colors are doing only that. They're not saying a word about cancer. This isn't awareness or education; it's titillation.”

“Sall” over at Feministing.com went a step further, saying the trend “created a new platform to objectify millions of women and reduced them to their body parts.”

One of my own (male) friends’ updates on Friday read: “weirdest day ever on FB — beige, purple, leopard, polka dots, blue, black. TMI [too much information].” While I tend to agree with Carmichael that “typing in the word ‘beige’ is a far cry from dirty talk,” the recent Facebook campaign has made some a little squeamish (including my friend, who mentioned his concern upon knowing his aunt was decked out in lavender).

The bra-color phenomenon reminds me of an annual event my school hosts, “Be My Bra.” Student groups sign up to decorate bras in various designs and themes, ostensibly to raise breast-cancer awareness. And many of the students certainly have that goal in mind; several designers participated because their mothers had died of or struggled with breast cancer, and they wanted to do something to change the futures of those facing the disease.

But also in attendance were some fraternity members who seemed to have entered just so they could glue sequins and ribbon all over women’s underwear and hold the finished products up in front of a crowd. Not to be unnecessarily prudish, but that seemed like an inappropriately sexualized way to “raise awareness” about a disease that took an estimated 40,170 lives in 2009, according to this study from the American Cancer Society.

But for now, the pressing question is, To post or not to post?

On the one hand is the argument that women are objectifying their bodies by drawing attention to breasts while ostensibly drawing attention to breast cancer. Drawing attention to myself in a junior-high-style game is surely not the most effective way to alert others to cancer’s realities. And, of course, there are the men to think of.

On the other hand, it’s good to be reminded that, because we are created in God’s image, we are beautiful, and that every part of our bodies — including the parts ravaged by cancer — is worth celebrating. And if posting my bra color does draw some attention to breast cancer (and if the Susan G. Komen Facebook group membership grew by several thousand over the weekend), maybe it’s not such a terrible thing to cut loose a little and post a color.

Disney Croaks with Newest Princess Film

When CT editor Sarah Pulliam Bailey e-mailed Her.meneutics bloggers to ask if anyone would be interested in reviewing The Princess and the Frog, Disney's newest princess film and the first to feature an African American lead, I wrote back right away with a "yes!" I don't see many movies in the theater (or anywhere else, for that matter), but I really wanted to see this one, about Tiana, a girl growing up in the French Quarter of New Orleans who turns into a frog upon kissing Prince Naveen, also a frog.

I started my movie-going planning the way I always do, by asking my husband if he wanted to see the movie with me, or stay home to watch our three small children. "I think this looks more like a girl movie," my husband said, volunteering for parenting duty. So I sent out a few e-mails to see if anyone else wanted to go, and before I knew it, my mom, my aunt, my godmother and her daughter, and four friends were all trying to coordinate their after-Christmas schedules so we could go. We didn't all end up being free at the same time, but it was nevertheless a good-size group of women that poured out of their cars in the freezing rain and convened in the theater.

Laden with concessions, we tromped into the theater to find seats. As the lights fell and the movie began, I reflected on how much of my movie-going experience has nothing to do with the movie itself. I go to the movies to fellowship, swap Christmas stories, gasp at the snack prices, and drink from the short straw on a shared soda.

From the first minute of the film, I was charmed. I knew this New Orleans fairytale was going to be Disney's so-called "triumphant" return to hand-drawn animation, and the result did not disappoint. As Tiana, the heroine, works double shifts to save enough money to fulfill her late father's dream of opening a restaurant, the images were beautiful, the story engaging, and the frilly princess dresses in the opening scenes reminiscent of Cinderella. The vocal talent of Elizabeth M. Dampier, who plays the young Tiana, was so adorable that I found myself momentarily disappointed when the movie fast-forwarded and Tiana, then voiced by Anika Noni Rose, was all grown up — and ready to get tangled up with a playboy of a prince, and wind up turning into a frog.

Thrilled to finally see an African American playing the lead in a Disney princess film, I was happily sipping my shared soda and following Tiana's ambitions to open her restaurant, when the movie suddenly took a darker turn. The film's villain, Dr. Facilier, is a voodoo practitioner called the Shadowman, who has friends, as he says, "on the other side." As empty-eyed voodoo masks came to life and sang about that other side, whispers started popping up in my row at the speed of buttered popcorn. By the time the movie showed a slithering horde of demons crawling through a Mardi Gras parade, almost Frank Peretti–style, I could barely keep my comments to a whisper. As the Shadowman was eventually dragged off to the "other side," I couldn't turn my head fast enough to keep up with all the commentary in my row.

"Wow," I said when the movie was over. "That was just — wow. I don't even know where to start."

We talked about the movie through the closing credits, on the way to the women's room, and out to our cars. Those of us who had carpooled talked about the movie all the way home, and when I got home I had two movie-related e-mails in my inbox, with more to come. And the next Sunday in church we picked up right where we left off.

I'm disappointed in Disney's first African American princess movie. I wanted it to be good; I wanted it to be great. But the voodoo elements and the trafficking in spiritually dark themes crossed this film right off my list (as they did the lists of many other evangelicals, as Mark Pinsky noted in The Wall Street Journal last week). The good that I took away from this movie was nothing about the film itself, but rather, the community in which I viewed it. Surrounded by thoughtful, intelligent women who were willing and eager to discuss all the film's various aspects, I couldn't help thinking that in some ways, we were a real-life (though smaller) version of the CT women's blog — where two or more can gather to read, to discuss, and to prayerfully try and make sense of the world in which we live.

Confession: I Stopped Giving to the Church

I stopped tithing a few months ago. Okay, no scandal here. I got married in September, and my husband and I moved to a new area and wanted to find a church. As we slowly combined our finances, it became painful. (He’s a cheapskate, and I didn’t want him to see every pair of earrings I splurged on.)

Within a few months we found a church that we really liked for various reasons. As the new year approached, we resolved to streamline our finances. Eager to get in our giving before 2009 ended for tax purposes, we talked about back-tithing. We decided to tithe the four months we had been married, which felt like a lot of money. It was daunting to put the check in the offering plate and watch the money pulled from our bank account. I then vowed to talk with someone about having our tithing automatically deducted from our account so we wouldn’t think twice about it.

On one hand, you could argue, “It’s not your money to begin with, so pretend like you never had it.” On the other hand, there’s something psychological about physically writing a check and putting it in the brass plate. If we all paid our taxes once a year instead of having them automatically deducted from our paychecks each pay period, we would probably feel the pinch much more. I often wonder whether I should stop the deduction so I could invest the money during the year and then pay up later. (But that, of course, requires some self-control.)

The authors of Freakonomics, economist Steven Levitt and journalist Stephen J. Dubner, report that economist Milton Friedman came up with automatic tax withholding from employees’ paychecks. Americans weren’t paying their income taxes, as I would imagine it’s hard to remember to save up a huge chunk every year. Levitt and Dubner also write a lot about the importance of incentives: We need a really good reason to eat our vegetables (think Vitamin C) and to resist the temptation to speed (think a $100 ticket).

In college, I was amazed at the lengths to which ministry groups would go for fundraisers. Sure, I’ll give $20 to a ministry for the Dalits if it comes with a free dinner. But doesn’t that eat up a lot of the money that would have gone to the people we’re helping? After the Southeast Asia tsunami in December 2004, we were allowed to forgo our cafeteria meal so we could fast and give. That’s called killing two birds with one stone, my friends.

Mixing up spiritual disciplines aside, why do we feel like we must get the most bang for our buck? Why do we tend to only give if we get something in return? When was the last time we gave just to give? Eric Felten writes in The Wall Street Journal today about the quandary that stores put people in when they ask customers who are checking out to give a few bucks to local charities:

[P]utting the touch on people in semi-captive situations such as the grocery-store checkout line isn't necessarily a good thing for charity. Perhaps I'm wrong, and quotidian solicitations will make us more mindful of the plight of others and more open to helping the sick and the needy. But I suspect that the growing number of stores asking customers to chip in may end up creating a backlash. There was a time when telephone solicitations for charity worked — and so they proliferated. But after a while, people became ever more practiced at saying no.

Going back to tithing, I think there’s something to be said for physically putting in that check, even though it’s probably more convenient to have it electronically deducted. In some ways, writing that check solidified my commitment to the church. People like Douglas LeBlanc have done a lot of thinking in this area. His book Tithing: Test Me in This comes out next month. Here’s an excerpt:

For [John and Sylvia] Ronsvalle [founders of financial ministry empty tomb, inc.], tithing is not only a matter of obeying God. It is also a conscious way to resist the self-worship that accompanies greed and stinginess. In one essay they have published online, the Ronsvalles quote a fellow Christian as asking them, "If I'm not trusting God with my money, am I really trusting him with my eternal salvation?"

Perhaps it’s time to reexamine our incentives, whether it’s in tithing or giving just to give.

Police Arrest Woman Praying at Western Wall

Last November, Israeli authorities arrested medical student and Women of the Wall (WOW) member Nofrat Frenkel for wearing a prayer shawl and holding a Torah at the Western Wall (Kotel), Judaism's most holy site. The first time a female worshiper has been arrested there, the event has prompted protests from many sides in an already tense debate in the Jewish community.

Founded in 1988, WOW believes devout Jewish women have the right to gather at the Kotel to pray, read the Torah, and wear religious clothing such as prayer shawls. Torah requires certain practices for men but does not prohibit women from those practices. Despite WOW's appeals to the Israeli government over the past two decades, its laws call for fining or jailing women who partake in these activities at the Kotel, which is segregated by sex.

WOW meets every month for Rosh Hodesh at the Kotel, as well as for other select holidays. Rosh Hodesh is a celebration of the new moon and is traditionally viewed as a women’s holiday. At WOW's December meeting, leader Anat Hoffman said the women wore scarf-like prayer shawls under their coats rather than traditional prayer shawls so that the garments wouldn’t upset other worshipers. The New York Times, meanwhile, reported that the women went wearing prayer shawls and carrying scrolls in protest of Frenkel’s arrest, but that rain caused them to cover both items.

According to Ynet News and Forward, this Tuesday police interrogated Hoffman, who may face felony charges for “violating the rules of conduct."

WOW members have met strong opposition, particularly from Orthodox Jews, for their activities. Ultra-Orthodox Jews, also known as Haredi, which means “those who fear God," believe the women are trying to disrupt Jewish traditions and meddle in rituals meant for men, and that they disturb others’ worship when they meet as a group.

WOW has faced verbal and physical attacks from men and women who are offended. Hoffman has filed complaints following such assaults, but she claims that police do not press charges.

The Women's Rabbinic Network held a solidarity day last month in the U.S. where Jewish women met to pray and read the Torah. The Central Conference of American Rabbis, a North American group of 1,800 Reform Jewish leaders, released a statement December 30 condemning Frenkel's arrest and vowed to take a stand against the injustice facing WOW, as well as other groups facing what they perceive as a lack of religious freedom due to Orthodox control.

But others resent Americans' involvement in the matter. Rabbi Avi Shafran, spokesman for Agudath Israel of America, a U.S.-based Haredi organization, told JTA, Israel "is a country that has functioned with a certain understanding among its religious and not religious Jews. If the activists don't want to alienate Jews, they shouldn't thumb their noses at the traditional Jews in Israel."

Other debates center on the intentions of Frenkel and other WOW members. Are the women wearing prayer shawls in order to grow in their faith? As females are exempt from following certain holy laws, does their willingness to obey encourage men to be more faithful in what they are required to do?

Or, instead of an issue of faith, is it one of gender? In Christianity, we’ve seen challenges and divisions stem from the question of scriptural authority and gender equality. It is understandable why Orthodox Jews are unwavering, even fearful, about making certain allowances. Consenting to one change, though it may seem harmless, could open up other more central challenges to the faith. Are the issues of faith and gender equality separable? What implications does this have for us Christians?

N.C. Court Upholds Sex Offenders' Right to Worship

For evangelicals who uphold both the boundlessness of redemption and the care and protection of “little ones” (Matt. 19:14), having sex offenders in church makes it hard to apply both beliefs at the same time.

In mid-December a Superior Court in North Carolina upheld the case of two registered sex offenders who had been attending Moncure Baptist Church, which offers childcare for Sunday worshipers and other children's programs. James Nichols and Frank DeMaio were indicted in March under a year-old state law that orders offenders to stay 300 feet away from facilities primarily intended for use by or care of children. Nichols’s story was highlighted in “Modern-Day Lepers,” a reported piece in the December issue of Christianity Today.

Judge Allen Baddour determined that the state law was too vague to enforce, and violated the men’s First Amendment rights to worship. “There are less drastic means for achieving the same purpose,” Baddour ruled, noting that to meet constitutional requirements, the law should specify whether or not an offender has the intent to be in the presence of minors.

But, as State Rep. Julia Howard (who sponsored the state law) told the Charlotte News & Observer, discerning someone’s intent for attending church or any other facility can be tricky. “The word intent is the most precarious word in the world. Who knows what my intent is? Anytime you see ‘knowingly’ or ‘intent,’ there’s something mysterious there.”

Nichols, 31, has been convicted twice of indecent liberties with a teenager and of attempted second-degree rape in 2003. According to the News & Observer, Nichols had told authorities that DeMaio, convicted twice of indecent liberties with children, had “manhandled” a teenage girl in Moncure Baptist’s parking lot. The Chatham County Sheriff’s Office eventually charged both for being on church property, and Nichols for staying with a church member who was hosting teenage girls in her home.

Nichols expressed frustration that the law left offenders no room to seek church-based help. “The law gives you no room to better yourself,” he told the Associated Press. “I just started asking the question, ‘Why? Why am I being treated this way after trying to better myself?’ ”

“I have heard it said that sex offenders are modern-day lepers,” Prison Fellowship vice president Pat Nolan told CT in December. “That is probably pretty accurate. And we know that Jesus didn’t shun lepers. He loved them and healed them. He expects us to do the same.”

But the sex offender/leper comparison doesn’t always hold up, especially when the modern-day leper comes to the house of God not for healing but to infect others, often the vulnerable. “Pedophiles are scary people because they are highly manipulative, controlling, patient, and coercive,” said Ron Clark, a Portland-based Church of Christ minister who works with sex abuse agencies, in a letter to CT. “While forgiveness is an important virtue among us, what about repentance? . . . [The church’s] best role is to train leaders to protect and let the authorities rehabilitate them."

What do you think? In order to protect potential victims, should churches leave the restoration of sex offenders up to federal agencies? Or would that only leave offenders lacking knowledge of the true restoration found in Christ? How should churches model a belief in the redemption of the unredeemable alongside Jesus' charge to care for children at great cost?

Resolving to Fail in 2010

Goal-setting has never been one of my strong points. I consider myself a classic Type B personality, and have been content with a mantra that has served me well each New Year’s: “I resolve to not make any New Year’s resolutions." This year, however, I felt stirred to push myself out of my comfort zone and make some resolutions. But the three I came up with exist in thought only. Although they are manageable, I sense that as obstacles arise, I will mentally retract them.

Not keeping my resolutions would put me in good company; one bit of research shows that about 80 percent of all New Year’s resolutions are broken by January 31st. So what’s behind the inevitable failure that comes with resolving to change? Is success even an option?

A biblical look at change for the Christian is encouraging. Scripture teaches that not only is change possible, it is fundamental to the gospel message. Christ’s ministry was a call to move us from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. In him we are transferred from death to life (Eph. 2:4-5), our heart of stone becomes a heart of flesh (Ezek. 36:26), we become friends of God instead of his enemies (John 15:15), and we are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness (Rom. 6:19). Given such radical changes on a spiritual level, why are changes on a smaller scale so seemingly impossible?

Jonathan Edwards, a Puritan pastor and theologian in the 1700s, wrote 70 life resolutions that show his desire to pursue holiness in every thought and deed. Not only did he lay out the highest standard of personal conduct, but he was willing to pen these maxims in painstaking detail. His passion for purity and obedience to God still rings loud and clear, causing me to re-examine my own half-hearted resolutions.

I have to admit, though, reading Edwards's list leaves me feeling both motivated and paralyzed. On the one hand, I am inspired to vigorously practice righteousness; on the other, I feel weighed down by the thought of committing to resolves that I know I will fall short of by breakfast tomorrow.

I’ve been a Christian long enough to know that desiring God’s law is for my good. Purging my heart of sin and walking in obedience to God is (usually) a daily resolve. I have grown to love his Word and relish its wisdom and understanding of the human heart. I have personal experience of the law of God being like a light to my path (Ps. 119:105), the sweetest tasting honey (Ps. 19:10), and the most precious earthly treasure (119:72). So why do resolutions to “do better, be better, love better” scare me so much that I usually don’t make them?

Perhaps some of my wariness comes from stern warnings in Scripture that our outward holiness is not pleasing to God if our inner person has not first been clothed with the holiness of Christ (Gal. 3:27). Jesus' interactions with the Pharisees shows us that we can look good in our behavior (Matt. 23:27-28) while our hearts have no love for God. Even Christians can become slaves to rules they believe will secure God’s favor and their own happiness. This is a serious hazard for the believer. Paul is clear that the law cannot save (Gal. 3:11); it can only reveal how sinful and helpless we are by highlighting the holiness of God and the infinite chasm between us. Instead of producing righteousness, the law reveals the depth of our unrighteousness and our desperate need for a Savior (Rom. 7:5).

So, is it worth making resolutions this year that will likely only serve to expose our inability to keep them? My answer is yes. Setting goals for change will not produce change, as any law is powerless in and of itself to do so. But they can be beneficial, if we approach them from a position of weakness, recognizing our helplessness apart from the grace of God. Ultimately, as Christians we should desire and pursue the kind of holiness that Edwards espouses in his resolutions, but only with total reliance on God’s grace to see growth in our lives. So go ahead and make some resolves for 2010. But allow the inevitable failures to press you even further to Christ and to the boundless mercy of God, who has already accomplished the greatest transformation you could hope for.

Lynn Roush is a counselor at The Crossing Church, an Evangelical Presbyterian congregation in Columbia, Missouri. She received her master's degree in counseling psychology from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. She wrote about Jon and Kate Plus 8 for Her.meneutics this spring.