What Is Her.meneutics?

The Christianity Today women's blog provides news and analysis from the perspective of evangelical women. We cover news stories and books related to international justice and evangelism, pregnancy and sexual ethics, marriage, parenting, and celibacy, pop culture, health and body image, raising girls, and women in the church and parachurch.

Her.meneutics is edited by associate editor Katelyn Beaty and online editor Sarah Pulliam Bailey.

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January 25, 2010

Women at Halftime: Where to Go Next?

For many women, turning 50 means the best is yet to come.

Julia Duin

Recently I was dining with a friend who, like me, works in the media. She is in her mid-40s and realizes that her days on the air are numbered. Putting aside the issue of why it’s acceptable for men in their 70s to be on the air but women over 50 are considered too old, she was grasping for ideas on how to reinvent herself so as to stay employed for another two decades.

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She has reached success, but it’s ephemeral. She no sooner reached the top of her game than the game she was playing shut down. Nearly every week now she and I hear of someone in our field who’s moving on, retiring, or being forced to take a buyout.

My friend is in what author and Texas entrepreneur Bob Buford calls "halftime" — that period in your life when you switch from what you’ve done for the past 20 years to what you will do for the rest of your life. Call it self-renewal or the next big thing or refocusing. You begin asking what you want to be remembered for and what your epitaph would be. You think of all the things about your life that dissatisfy you and that, if you’re going to change them, you must do it now.

When I decided I wanted a child and that I would do whatever I had to do to get one, I spent my 47th birthday talking with a local adoption agency. Jobs don’t last, I figured, but people do. Three years later, I became a mom — one of the better decisions I’ve ever made.

A friend of mine decided to take a chance on a thrice-divorced — and repentant — man, and got married for the first time at age 54. She is as happy as a clam.

Famed rescuer Corrie Ten Boom was age 50 in 1942, the year her family became involved in the Dutch resistance and began hiding Jews in their Haarlem home. She spent most of her 54th year in the Ravensbruck concentration camp, and in the years after that became known for her helpful advice on forgiveness. She was 79 when her most famous book, The Hiding Place, was published in 1971.

So, good things do happen in one’s second half, especially since 70 has become the new 50.

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Buford’s Halftime and Beyond Halftime are aimed mostly at men who have made their fortunes in the first half of their lives, done the wife-and-kids bit, and are ready to lead lives that are about meaning more than money. Some are only in their 40s when they realize they are nearing burnout. Others are forced into retirement by their 60s, he says, with at least 20 good years ahead of them. That’s the time to mentor, advise, and train like-minded acolytes among the young.

Many women do not have the luxury of dialing up life’s second half while living off the proceeds of the first. They have long since hit the glass ceiling, never getting to the point where they can retire on their savings. Others have spent a lifetime invested in their families and are in no shape to compete in today’s shrunken workplace.

As my friend and I talked, she admitted that she has little interest for anything else besides journalism. She is having to dig deep within herself to find wellsprings of other dreams — buried for decades but now worth examining — of what else she loves to do. She has to listen to what her heart wants.

And while she’s still employed, she must develop a parallel career so that when she does make the jump, the foundation is laid. People ask me how I find the time to write books while working full-time as a journalist, serving seven years on the board of a journalists group, and in recent years, mothering a small child. I find the time because I have to; in these uncertain times, we all need alternate options and revenue streams: whether we are cleaning homes, baking cupcakes, or otherwise freelancing our wares.

I would be interested in hearing from other women who have taken action to change their lives at the mid-point. What did you do and how did you afford it?

It's quite clear that the current economic downturn means major decisions for most of us somewhere down the line. Lent, the season of introspection, fasting, and repentance, begins in less than a month (Feb. 17); it's an ideal time to ask God whether to take that less-traveled path. Setting some time apart has, in the past, helped me to gauge what may be coming my way not only in the immediate future, but also in the next 10 years. It's very difficult to make major life changes without at least some time alone to ponder and pray. For this, the silence of mid-winter is ideal.

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Posted by Katelyn Beaty on January 25, 2010 9:59 AM

Comments

At 41, after running a successful piano studio, in order to be home with my children after school, we moved to another state because my husband lost his job. My heart was no longer in the thought of rebuilding a new studio clientele, so I applied to turn a music degree into a sociology degree, going on later to do graduate study. This change took me to nearly 20 years of inspiring (for me!) work in human services, especially when I found a position at a local university running a community research lab. The education was paid mostly by scholarships (college is a lot more meaningful and fun when you're not a young adult!).

Unfortunately, my career was cut short at 58 when a chronic disease I'd been dealing with for years ramped up and began to make changes in my brain (especially language problems and memory loss) and emotions. I am now, at 59 1/2 yrs, on disability. Do I regret the change? Not for one minute. I feel that I made a major contribution to the quality of life for families in my state, and I learned SO much along the way that has helped me to counsel my own children as they deal with parenthood and life (but only when they ask for advice!).

My point - don't be afraid to try new pathways. And have faith that a way will be opened to you. I had NO idea how I would finance my return to university when I began, but it was definitely a change "resourced" by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Posted By: KateinIowa | January 25, 2010 3:32 PM

Thank you for what have shared here, Julia. Bob Buford's books have been very helpful to many of my friends in Indianapolis, and hearing your perspective from another angle makes me appreciate them all the more.

Posted By: Russ Pulliam | January 25, 2010 7:14 PM

Thanks for the great article, and for the book recommendation!

Posted By: Andrew | January 25, 2010 8:27 PM

It makes me so sad that your friend would be forced out of the work she loves simply because of her age. And 50 is so far from "old"! I think THAT is a problem to be pondered.

Posted By: Robyn | January 28, 2010 3:03 PM

Thank you for an interesting and thought-provoking article. My parents lived on my property in a cottage in their old age and after my father passed away and eventually my mother had to go into frail care, I decided to use the cottage and a spare room in my home and set up a Bed & Breakfast. I was planning to leave the corporate world so got the B&B sorted out in the year before I planned to leave the corporate world so that any expenses could be met by the salary I was still receiving.

Posted By: Denise Alexander | January 29, 2010 1:58 AM

The first time I was ever told that I was too old for a job, I was only 32.


Posted By: Ann | January 29, 2010 11:27 AM

However the fact about women in the workforce is the best prove that America is now fully an economc system called: Socialism/Communism and of course one must also point out where America wastes trillions and taxes have to pay for it and the result being that fathers are no longer the bread winners where now mothers cannot even care for their young ones, now even more and more from before birth! Yes, that is the way it was forced upon its citizens in the former Socviet Union, whereas here in America in reality in lesser forceful way but taxes, plus taxes take away much of what should sustain families and most certainly grandpa, grandpa etc., etc., etc. This nation that was born for a grander purpose than what America is now at home and abroad. Fasten your seatbelts it will only get worse no matter what party reigns. The American traditional Biblical home in America is gone forever, with Christianity getting more and more a bad name all over the world. Yes, yearly this nation murders thousands upon thousand of unborn children, and adding them daily to the mass grave America has also installed on its soil. So, I pray: God please have patience a little longer with America per chance there is to be change coming down the pipe?

Posted By: H. D. Schmidt | January 29, 2010 10:40 PM

Your website caught my attention with the word play on "her"meneutics. I love it! I was even more fascinated when I saw the dialogue on this particular topic as it is near and dear to my heart. I apologize up front, for the long commentary.

Until recently, I had a senior management position in the corporate world with a 30 year track record of promotions with ever-increasing levels of responsibility; however, in the last several years, my passion was waning for what I was doing. It was not a coincidence that, around the same time, a management change took place on the team I was on creating a tenuous work situation for me. Over a two year time period, this tenuous environment began to significantly impact my health leading me to the decision, at age 53, to resign my position.

In HINDSIGHT, I can see God’s hand in this. Several years ago, I started volunteering my time in the poor and homeless community, a passion which has been steadily growing in me. I also decided to enroll in a two-year biblical studies program with an emphasis on urban ministry to prepare me for full-time work with the inner city community when I “officially retire”. I graduate from this program in May 2010.

BUT God….I was making plans and setting timelines, but I believe God had a different plan for me…not to wait until I “officially retired” to move into that plan. Since my resignation, my journey over the last several months has been one of leaning into the Lord to “renew my strength”, seeking mature Christian counsel, and reading books that are challenging and inspiring me.

I’ll ADMIT, it has been a real adjustment to go from a place of frenetic activity with many demands and responsibilities to a place of “being still” knowing that He is God. But, it has been fruitful as the Lord is pointing out areas in my life that need to be “de-cluttered” as well as re-orienting my thinking. I’m reminded of Isaiah 54:10, “though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”

You ask about how I can afford to make the shift? I’m thankful that I have saved some funds “for a rainy day…or days in this case!” I KNOW that some real lifestyle changes will need to be made to accommodate this shift. Yet, the dissatisfaction I experienced over the last several years stirred up an appetite in me for new beginnings. I’m starting to see the fruit of this change as I catch glimpses of how God is using my organizational skills to help those in need. This seems to be leading to an opportunity to move into a staff position within the urban ministry where I’m volunteering. It’s not a paid position…yet…but if God is calling me there, He will also provide for my needs.

Be encouraged, my sisters! Pray for God to show you the desires and passions He has wired in you and, then, ask Him to open up the doors for you to fully express them!

Posted By: Gwen Brady | January 30, 2010 7:16 PM

Julia, thank you for this insightful post. I am researching this very topic, as Director of WomenLeading, a women's leadership initiative at Leadership Network. I've been interviewing women in the age range of 45-65, asking them what questions they are asking themselves during this season that seems to filled with many tranistions. I've determined a distinct difference in answers from women who have worked outside the home vs women who have been stay at home moms. Women who have stayed connected to careers throughout child-rearing seem to reach a point when they ask themselves, what will I now Do?, whereas moms who have stepped away from their career during the child-at-home years tend to ask who will I now Be? An interesting difference.
The introduction of the empty nest seems to be an impetus to these questions, but for some it seems to also be that 'halfway point' in their 40's that tickles the question 'is this what God is calling me to do for the next 40 years? So it was with me. I felt God calling me to work with women leaders across the country, and while it was a big move, it has been incredibly fulfilling.
I'd also love to hear from women about their 'what's next' journy, whether driven by economics or otherwise.

Posted By: sherry surratt | February 5, 2010 2:41 PM

I will be 45 in June. I stayed home with my daughters as long as I could; a divorce brought sudden and unwanted changes. I have been a single-parent for 7 years- so not what I had envisioned for my life!! I went back to college and got my associate's degree in community counseling, and will soon be finished with a bachelor's in social work. One daughter has graduated and moved down the road into her own apartment, and the other one will be going to college in three years.
Due to a sudden injury, I have spent the last couple of months unable to do much but think, read, and write. I have no idea what God has next for me, but I am excited and happy for the first time in a long time. I feel like the whole world is opening up and opportunities for ministry, and writing, and travel, not to mention new friends, are just around the corner.
If anyone has any advice, recommended reading, or encouragement, I would appreciate it! I am also interested in learning more about the network referenced in the above post.

Posted By: Stacey Lacik | March 16, 2010 1:49 AM

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