Her.meneutics: Did You Consider Having an Abortion?

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February 11, 2010

Did You Consider Having an Abortion?

The value of Tim Tebow’s life is not more than that of any other child.

Alicia Cohn

Everybody knows someone who considered having an abortion. It may be a friend, cousin, sister, aunt, or your own mother … and you may not even know about it.

Even if you didn’t watch the Super Bowl last Sunday, you probably heard about the pro-life ad funded by Focus on the Family that featured Pam Tebow talking about the birth of her son, Florida Gators quarterback Tim. In the weeks leading up to the grame, pro-choice groups such the National Organization for Women protested its airing, calling it divisive and the subject inappropriate for a sports event.

But CBS stuck by its decision, and after the ad aired, many wondered why the ad generated so much controversy. The ad never mentions abortion, and Tebow’s choice of life for her son is implicit. The ad offers viewers the chance to hear more of the Tebow story by visiting Focus on the Family's website, and according to the organization, that’s exactly what viewers did. A Focus on the Family spokesman told the Catholic News Agency that by Monday, 760,000 had watched the full-length version of the Tebow story at the website.

USA Today reports that the ad achieved its goal by generating “a torrent of new attention” for Focus on the Family, ranking the ad’s success on its consumer notice, viewership, and social media impact.

So now pro-life voices are beginning to wonder: Other than creating name recognition for Focus on the Family, what was the point of the ad?

According to Focus on the Family President Jim Daly (speaking before the ad aired), “The Super Bowl ad isn't meant as an aggressive attack on abortion. The message we're trying to go for is, Yes, there is a choice right now . . . and I think the better choice is life."

Duke University theologian Amy Laura Hall, speaking to the Chicago Tribune, questioned the idea of celebrating the “miracle baby” who, despite the odds, was born healthy and grew up to be a Heisman Trophy winner. According to Hall, “The basic gist is clear: Save your pregnancy, wager for life, and you too might win the grand prize of proud motherhood.”

Hall’s point is that parents of special-needs children should be encouraged, too. But she’s essentially making the same point as Joy Behar, who said on The View that Tebow could just as easily have turned out to be a racist or pedophile as a football star. Choosing life — the choice Pam Tebow made — is not gambling on the value of the child, it's realizing the child has value at all. For Christians, it’s not wagering for life, it’s believing God has plans to give you hope and a future far better than you could plan out for yourself (Jer. 29:11).

If only there could be a whole line of ads saying "I'm (insert name here), and I was almost aborted." Those children are out there, and whether they grew up to have special needs, a green thumb, an artistic eye, two left feet, or a muscular 6’3” physique, it is wonderful to hear about them. They should be celebrated, as Focus on the Family’s tagline suggests. Certainly, attaching a celebrity name to the celebration garners more media attention, but that is typical of our society, and focusing attention on the good reasons to not get an abortion — like the children who were allowed to grow up — seems like a good thing.

If we don’t talk about that huge percentage of our generation who came “this close” to being aborted, we are neglecting to point out that life is just as much a “choice” as abortion. And it’s a good one. Beyond that, though, it’s possible that we could be failing the women who think considering abortion, for whatever reason, means they’ve already made their choice, and there’s no going back.

How many women feel like they can't talk about the fact that abortion crossed their mind? I think we should hear more stories, more often, and more publically from the women who considered — but didn’t have — abortions, and the children who resulted from that choice.

Alicia Cohn previously interned at Christianity Today magazine. She has written for Her.meneutics about stem-cell research, Christmas, Sarah Palin's Going Rogue, Anne Graham Lotz, parental rights, journalists in North Korea, Juanita Bynum, the Breast Cancer Bible, and The Stoning of Soraya M.

Comments

When I faced an unplanned pregnancy, I considered having an abortion, I considered parenting and I considered adoption. I decided to have an abortion. It was the right decision for me and I am grateful that I was able to do it. I think we need to hear more stories from women who considered having an abortion and DID, and the wonderful lives that resulted from that choice (included the the children a woman already had when she chose abortion, the children she had later when the timing, health circumstances, and family life was better for the woman to choose to parent, or the children she never had because she didn't want to).

I don't agree that the ad was inappropriate for a sporting event, and I don't agree with censorship. So great, put up your ad. But people know that this is just one story of many, and for women who choose abortion they also have stories full of joy, opportunity, and achievement to tell.

And the children that were aborted? Was it as good for them as it was for you? And when was the last time you thanked your mom for NOT aborting you?

"I think we need to hear more stories from women who considered having an abortion and DID, and the wonderful lives that resulted from that choice (included the the children a woman already had when she chose abortion, the children she had later when the timing, health circumstances, and family life was better for the woman to choose to parent, or the children she never had because she didn't want to)."

Wouldn't those same things, with the exception of the last statement, been achieved through adoption? I was given up for adoption at birth and I am assuming that other than nine months of some really hard work (well, more like four since she didn't realize she was pregnant until late in the pregnancy), her life wasn't affected horribly.

I know I am extremely grateful for the life I have, and I am glad that she either chose life, or didn't have the option to since it was too late in the pregnancy and was forced to deliver me.

Babys are a blessing. Anew cell, a new person! I hate evil. I hate evil men. I dislike fake christians. Anti christ armys keep recruiting in some churches. Anti christ stalks. After some mail too? Thank you. Rev 12:9. col3:11 KJV. gal 3:3. 1 corinth 14:26. Think on righteoussness, not self, not fairness. Duet. Rom 12:2. Help true christians. Be careful!I am KING! Messiah Jesus is. Lord we need you spirit once again!!!! Amen!!

I know people who have considered it and some who have aborted their babies. The only ones who are in a constant state of regret are the ones who don't have the abortion. We must show forgiveness to those who do and support who don't have an abortion.

Sorry I meant those who had the abortion live a constant state of regret.

my best friends son nd wife are expecting they have found out the baby has some syndrome that girls get one side of the body is smaller than the other a hole in the heart brain damage and a horrible prognosis they have a 2 year old and both need their teaching jobs the baby for its whole life will need expensive medical care and round the clock care we are asking God to take the baby to heaven is this wrong

I think the best thing to do is to pray for God's will to be done. That is what Jesus prayed in the garden. And, after all, what can be better than God's will for our lives, or our children's lives?

I have had three abortions during my life. These pregnancies occurred during very inconvenient times. I was in grad school and then in med school.
I have never regretted having the abortions so I could continue on with my life and my choice for a future. The blob of cells were not more important than my career.
Since those events I started my career and it is very successful and lucrative. I have also had a daughter who is now getting ready to enter medical school. So my course was very right for me and this is exactly what everyone should have and that is choice over their life decisions with no laws on ones body that would preclude that choice.

Roberta, I'm so thrilled with you that you could throw away the inconvenient "blob of cells" that may have hurt your lucrative career.

I am a Christian however, and the mother of 3, and also a health professional. The Holy Spirit in me would never allow me to take the life of a child or to refer to the child as a "blob of cells" to somehow make it seem not so hurtful, make it not seem like the murder you committed.

If you were a Christian, you would know that God loves us and as Psalm 139 says, "knits us in the womb." God tells us He knew us before we were even born. Verse 7 and 8 of the Psalm says "Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,you are there.

There is nowhere you can go to hide from God, and someday you will answer to Him.

If you were really in medical school, why were you so ignorant of contraception that you actually became pregnant 3 times? This REALLY makes me doubt your "testimony", and in fact, I don't believe it. If you were a Christian, you would not commit fornication in the first place, and then commit murder to cover it up.

If you were a Christian and you trusted God, you would know that He would work things out for you even though things didn't go the way you had originally planned. He would do it without you committing fornication and murder. God blesses those who love Him and follow Him. Being a Christian changes your heart, something you probably don't understand, and your love for your children that you would have had, could not be replaced by any amount of money!

Psalm 139 v14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

God worked out 3 children and a medical career for me. I did it without fornication and murder. I waited until marriage to have my children and my life has been blessed. You will never know how your life would have been blessed by those children because you killed them.

Pro-choice people protested the airing of this commercial because most expected it to be in the same vein as Focus on the Family's usual judgmentalism. Surprisingly, (maybe because Dobson is finally out), the ad turned out to be warm and fluffy. I think pro-life Christians would do better to use the money it takes to make these feel-good ads for providing meaningful services to women so that hypothetical alternatives to abortion can be seen to be viable alternatives.

It's nice that Mrs. Tebow had appropriate medical care, a good family support system, and the financial wherewithal to care for the child she chose to have, but when what the most vocal in the pro-life community seem to do best is condemn, picket, or merely provide a few diapers, it's hard to take their "pro-life" commitment seriously. Not to mention the majority of the Christian Right's opposition to any health care reform. So, pregnant women have all the health care they need because they can go to the ER if they need to? How "pro-life" is that?

Elizabeth, thank you for your story.

Barbara, twisting the beautiful words of the Psalmist to make God into some sort of Inspector Javert would seem to miss the entire point of the Scriptures. The words of Psalm 139 are clearly meant to be words of comfort and celebration, not words of condemnation:

7Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. 9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

Tonig, Jesus prayed BOTH "Let this cup pass" AND "Thy will be done." I don't think God wants us to lie about what's in our hearts. If all you ever say to God is "Thy will be done," then what's the point? Where's the conversation? God has also said "Come, let us reason together." God can bear to hear what you have to say. My heart goes out to you and your friend's family.

I had an abortion in 1972 whilst still at school. I was seventeen and had never heard of abortion. When I gave my life to the Lord in 1983 the abortion was the first thing I confessed.

Over the years, as the Lord healed me (and it took many years) and as I learned more about the issues I joined pro-life groups. I and my husband have since 2001, between us in our spare time, written three pro-life websites - United for Life, Make Abortion History and May Blossom Ministries. United for Life covers many topics and issues (this needs updating and the Make Abortion History pages removed); Make Abortion History is written from a Human Rights perspective; and May Blossom Ministries is a Christian Healing site encouraging those who turn to the Lord following the killing of children by abortion so that they 'may blossom' into the person the Lord wants them to be.

We now use the term 'killing children by abortion' and not just 'abortion' to ensure that nobody can be in any doubt about what takes place in the procedure. We pray that the Lord will reveal to everyone the denial they are in over these issues and continue to be while in the UK we kill three thousand children a week by abortion and the USA kill three thousand children a day by abortion.

We believe that abortion should not even be an option (as offered by UK 'Christian' pregnancy crisis centres), let alone a choice.

Why would God create the baby just to have Mom kill the baby? That's kind of like "We had to destroy the village to save the village!" (Those of you who are from the Viet Nam war era will remember that line.) My advice to all of you proaborts (since you are alive! and are enjoying! your life!) is this - go to the nearest phone NOW and call your mom and thank her that she did not abort you. Don't quite know how to say it? Well here, let me help: "ring! ring! Hi mom. This is ______________. I'm just calling to thank you that you did not abort me when you had the chance. I love you Mom. But I gotta run so I can enjoy the life you gave me."
Addendum: "What's that you say, Mom? You didn't abort me because you believed God created me for His glory."
"Uh, yeah...I guess I believe that." "And you knew that God would provide for us even though things looked pretty bleak at the time?"
Yeah, you've told us that story many times. But I also believe that each woman has the right to choose to abort her baby.
Huh? Well, yeah, of course, I'm glad I got the chance to live. And, yeah, I know that you and Dad didn't get to do everything that you wanted to do b/c of us kids. But you CHOSE to have me...and I'm sorry you had to give up your dreams just for us kids.
And why would you ask me such a thing like "What happens to the baby during an abortion?" Duh!! It dies - like no one knows that!
And why would you say that abortion is the only medical procedure designed where one of the patients has to die? Everybody knows that!
But, Mom, women have their rights! Mom! WOMEN-HAVE-THEIR-RIGHTS-RIGHTS-RIGhts, Rights, rights, rights, rights, rights, rights....to kill their babies.

It seems like there may have been a time in history when you got pregnant and had kids. There wasn't this huge other side as if EVERY woman "chooses." I remember my pastor thanking me for not having an abortion. I was so offended, I couldn't speak. It had never occured to me. His thanking me made me feel as if he thought it was an actual choice for me. It wasn't a convenient time. It was my first year of college and I have certainly paid a high price for having a child at that time. I love him dearly though. He's Tim Tebow's age and getting ready to graduate from college.

I am just sick and tired of this assumption that every woman goes through this time of choosing. Most of us don't. Most of us recognize that the choice came when we chose to have sex.

a few brave women have dared to say that they had an abortion and what it meant to them. THE REST of the posters have SLAMMED these few women to the wall with what I assume is your version of "loving the sinner and hating the sin." but it's kind of hard to see ANY love expressed here.

Barbara - Thank you for your eloquent testimony and the way you wove the truths from within Ps. 139 of God's immutablness and His omniscience and His personalized and individualized love and care for us into it.
Jesus said in Matt. 12:37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Now if God will hold us accountable for every idle word we speak, how much more so our actions?

II Cor. 5:10 - For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

Sorry I meant those who had the abortion live a constant state of regret.

The only thing I ever regreted was getting pregnant in the first place. Being able to obtain a safe, legal abortion was a profound relief.

The fundamental difference between pro-lifers and pro-choicers is a very different belief about when life begins. Personally, I don't see how anyone can equate a zygote to a baby and view as abortion any type of birth control that prevents implantation. Only about half of all zygotes implant in the uterus in the normal course of such things!

I had an abortion in my early 20's. It was a difficult and painful decision that I knew I would live with for the rest of my life. I was alone and afraid, and struggling to support myself with no family to help. I felt I had no choice.

The decision weighed heavily on my heart, and I sought therapy and God's forgiveness to help me. I have gone on to live a reflective and productive life.

Abortion is a private decision. The government has no place to interfere with it. A woman's choice is between God and herself. The true focus should be on supporting the woman who has the child. There would be many more women who would make the choice to keep their children with help from their community. They need childcare, loving guidance and monetary support. We need more programs to help these women.

It's fine to be adamantly pro choice if you alone are the one who is willing to be there for the woman in every way when the baby is crying and hungry at 3 a.m., the mother is alone and scared, and her rent is due.

Let us all have less judgment and more Christian charity in our hearts.

Many of God's attributes (and Scripture verses) can bring peace and have a comforting effect to His children. The very same attributes however, will not have that effect on the nonbeliever.

Those who think they can hide things from God are only fooling themselves. Those who think that murdering is between them and the fetus are wrong, God knows what is happening. The heart starts beating at 19 days, that is before most women even know they are pregnant.

Funny, how all of those talking about abortion had it in the first few days according to their claims. The truth is, many abortions are performed much later in the pregnancy. The first thing Obama did was to bring back partial-birth abortion. He voted twice, while in the Illinois legislature, to kill a living baby if it survived an abortion.

God's wrath is mentioned in the Bible more frequently than His love. He is a holy God who will bring final judgment. God's word says that His wrath will be to those who are not His children, and I used the biblical definition for "God's children" in an earlier post, not my definition CL. The Bible defines "His children" as those who believe, that was not my definition, but you knew that CL.

"Personally, I don't see how anyone can equate a zygote to a baby..." Perhaps then you will grant us as a manifestation of your superior intellect and enlighten us mere mortals when those non-person zygotes become persons.

I ask this with all honesty what would you do if you were told you were going to have a brain damaged maybe deaf and deformed baby with heart problems? You have a 2 year old you will have to quit your job and sell your house and move to an apt. The father does not favor going through with the pregnancy. These are wonderful young people,the wifes reason for continuing is she does not want God to be angry with her Please answer with honest hearts I am going to imformation that you blog about thankyou much

"...what would you do if you were told you were going to have a brain damaged maybe deaf and deformed baby with heart problems?" What do you do when that same child is alive and outside the womb?

The fact that NOW protested such a benign ad shows how out of touch that organization is and how the modern "rights" movement continues to try and pull the culture further into the moral cesspool that they helped create. The apologists for abortion-as-birth-control have firmly implanted themselves in the moral low-ground. And there is nothing remotely Christian about such a position. The tagline for this article reads "The value of Tim Tebow’s life is not more than that of any other child," as if someone has suggested otherwise. They haven't. Someone else suggested that the Tebow family was in a better financial position to raise a child. But maybe not. They were missionaries. I have yet to meet a rich missionary. There was another suggestion that conservative Christians only give lip service to adoption while decrying abortion. Another myth. Statistics show that conservative Christians work much harder to provide adoption services than most other sectors of society. Yes, they can always do more, but let's stop spreading misinformation.

Everyone: May God's peace be with you. This topic is one to handle with truth and love. God's word is filled with truth - on this subject of abortion, and most others. His word is also filled with hope and forgiveness because God is loving. Everything God asks of us, such as the 10 commandments and ways to live, are given because God wants his best for us; His ways protect us from harming ourselves and others, and they provide for us lives of blessing, peace, truth, love, forgiveness, joy, purpose. God wants all of us to have abundant life, so he shows us the way to do just that - by his example. God loves everyone who reads this. You can be saved by believing in your heart what Christ, God's only son, did for you in taking your place on the cross. Don't let worldly fear (like Goliath frightened all of Israel) dictate your choices. Choose God's plan. He's in control. He's got your back. He loves you. May God's peace be with you all.

The ad was edited you know, the original version supposedly had more substance, but the second version linked here was shown: EW.com The main reason NOW said they protested it was because other "controversial" ads were pulled (a gay dating site), but this was not. In the end, the FoF ad was not controversial at all, so it makes NOW look a little foolish, and of course, more fodder for the people who already dislike them. And we keep attacking each other and not actually addressing any of the real issues, like underfunded programs to help women raise their children out of poverty and keep families together. Look at your state's programs for women, public and private and make a donation to an organization or church that is directly helping women raise their children.

To those who have shared abortion stories, please know that some of us believers reading this understand where you are coming from even if we are against abortion. I wish the option to keep your pregnancies had been more realistic and viable for you. I'm sorry for the sarcasm and hate being directed at you by those who are passionate about the pro-life cause. There is no reconcilliation to be had when we just blame people for their past. We need to put our money where are mouths are and help those who are struggling now to choose life. We need to be the ones to help them raise and pay for those children if we truly want to stop abortion. Just saying "you should have made better choices, shame on you!" does absolutely nothing.

We've been trying to fund women and children's programs through federal and state conduits for years. Something is not working here. Just throwing more money at the problem is not necessarily the answer. We need to back up and re-think our premises. Just doing more of the same is questionable at best. I'm not interested in shaming people who have had abortions (we're all sinners), but if we continue to lose a sense of shame our culture will continue to degenerate. We need to expect more of ourselves and other people for a very simple reason: our faith urges us to do so.

No one knows what its like till you are actually in the situation, everyone has their opinions and wants to put their two cents in. But before we slam on someone else, lets not forget that the only one that can judge is God. He is the ultimate forgiver and that's all that matters. Christians slamming on other people just makes Christianity seem so fake and sound like crazies. You can give advice but you cant shove it down someone's throat. We are supposed to love one another like the Lord loves us unconditionally.

I do not believe the so-caled prochoice people are truly interested in actual choice or the welfare of mothers. That they are not interested in the welfare of unborn babies is a given.
Whether we are dealing with life or potential life is a valid argument, although personally if I am going to make a mistake, I prefer to err on the side of assuming life too soon rather than too late. But if pro-choice people were honest, however they view early abortions, they would have to admit aborting a viable fetus is killing. But over and over you see them fighting any kind of restrictions on late-term abortions.
Also, when the life of the mother, or a serious health defect for the child are involved, this is a different argument than abortion for convenience or abortion used as birth control. But you see them using extreme situations to defend all abortions, even though most abortions are for convenience.
I hear criticisms that prolife people want to force women to go through unwanted pregnancies and don't help them, yet throughout the US there are crisis pregnancy centers that help these women with medical care, counseling, and other support. They provide support systems for women who choose to keep their babies and for those who choose adoption. Many even provide counseling for the women who decided on abortions and now are suffering emotionally from that decision.
I also know a number of families that have not only had their own biological children, but have adopted as well. Plus there are the couples who would otherwise be childless who adopt. Yet, I hear from pro-choice people that prolife people should adopt if they don't want babies aborted. They are. In fact there is a shortage of babies to adopt, so the waiting time is typically very long.
How have we gone in our culture from viewing children as a blessing and gift to seeing them as a burden and inconvenience?

I am just 21 yrs n i had an abortion i feel regret n just this morning i was thinking of what i did n realized my big brothers first born would be the same age as my aborted baby when his girlfriend gives birth,and that would be my constant reminder of my baby.I feel so sorry and i dunt know if i can ever forgive myself

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