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The Christianity Today women's blog provides news and analysis from the perspective of evangelical women. We cover news stories and books related to international justice and evangelism, pregnancy and sexual ethics, marriage, parenting, and celibacy, pop culture, health and body image, raising girls, and women in the church and parachurch.

Her.meneutics is edited by associate editor Katelyn Beaty and online editor Sarah Pulliam Bailey.

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February 23, 2010

Pregnant Olympians Are Not 'Selfish'

Women like Kristie Moore show that parenting well and taking healthy risks are not mutually exclusive — especially when taking risks means obeying God.

Caryn Rivadeneira, guest blogger

Last Friday a friend forwarded me a link to an article titled “Are Pregnant Athletes Selfish?” She guessed correctly that I might have something to say about it. It took one glance at the big black letters of the headline for my hackles to rise. The subtitle, “Olympic curler Kristie Moore is five months pregnant. Is this okay? Our OB/GYN reacts,” didn’t help calm me down.

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Before I could get to the doctor’s reaction, my mind fumed over the fallout if indeed this doctor deemed curling too dangerous for a pregnant woman. Among other things, I'd have to guess a good chunk of the world’s pregnant women have little if no choice but to haul heavy things while shuffling over ice. It’s called “life” for pregnant women in winter.

As it turned it, I had no reason to fume. The doctor affirmed the same thing my OB told me throughout pregnancy. In considering whether or not in fact is was “okay” for Canadian Kristie Moore, who is 51/2 months pregnant and due May 27, to curl — and possibly become the first pregnant woman to win a gold medal — she wrote, “Olympic athletes are presumably some of the most fit people on the planet, so it's absurd to think that curling when you're five months along would do anything but benefit mother and baby. A happy, fit, endorphin-filled mom is a great place for a baby to grow!”

So, that settles that, right? We can watch Moore and her darling baby bump compete with ease, even excitement? And then we can all move on. Or, am I the only who’s still bugged by the initial question, especially since it headlined at a presumably “pro-woman” site?

I know I may be knee-jerking here, but I’m so tired of the “selfish” dart that gets flung at pregnant women and moms when they are doing the things they love. And no, I do not mean activities like smoking while pregnant or drinking while driving with kids in the back.

I mean the "selfishness" of doing the things we’re called to do that are healthy in body, mind, and spirit, but that may not align with certain cultural ideals. Like competing in the Olympics while some might prefer pregnant women to sit tidy at home, nesting or something.

I have been called selfish as a mom for everything from working for a paycheck to worrying about identity (which I wrote about, in a book, for a paycheck). But the selfish dart-throwing started when I was pregnant with my first son, when I continued to volunteer as a dog walker at the local humane society. Up and down hills. Over snow. Over mud. All the while with a dog tugging at the end of the lead.

Was I selfish? I don’t think so, but I was asked that all the time. I loved walking those animals. I was good at it. I consider homeless animals to be among the “least of these” that Jesus speaks of, and felt called to do it.

Knowing this certainly helped shape my answers to the questions I was bombarded with: “What if a dog jumps on your stomach?” “What if you fall?” “What if a dog bites you?” What if. What if. What if.

Yes, what if — for any of us? I’m not saying we should disregard danger, especially as it pertains to children. Like most other mothers, I not only want to safeguard my kids but also want to safeguard myself for my kids! But we often go to extremes. We become so consumed with safety that we often let it override our callings, or what God would have us do, as mothers or otherwise. And getting to a place where we can venture on, without fear, is the antithesis of selfishness. It’s living in fear, without trusting God, that often leads to a self-consumed life.

The selfish question is one we need to stop asking pregnant athletes or pastors or teachers or dog-walkers. Yes, we are all selfish, because we are all broken. But most of us mothers — with children in our arms or still in utero — love our kids enough to know what might harm them, and we scurry from that. But many of us also love ourselves and our God enough to know that life has risks — that using our gifts and following our callings have risks, too — and that perhaps the most dangerous place to parent from is one of fear.

Caryn Rivadeneira is the author of Mama’s Got a Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Behind All That Mom. She lives in the western suburbs of Chicago with her husband, three kids, and newly adopted pit bull. Visit her at CarynRivadeneira.com.

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Posted by Katelyn Beaty on February 23, 2010 9:11 AM

Comments

The OB doctor for my wife, Jonalyn, said that it is healthy to do the same aerobic activities during pregnancy that you did before pregnancy. But not take up new ones. Reason: the body is fit and ready to continue those activities, from walking dogs to riding horses.

And curling? That's a technical sport, but nothing like running mile on mile like many of our pregnant runner friends do. Jonalyn is an active snowshoer and even in this week of her due date takes her snowshoeing seriously, though pays attention to her body while she does it.

The "selfish" dart is an epidemic in our host culture and our church-culture. I feel it and I'm not even a woman! I am an advocate for women and think that we've taken the baby-cult too far.

Reminds me of the "Mom Jeans" sketch by SNL. "I'm not a person, I'm a mom!"

I think your book, Caryn, is much needed and I hope it gets a wide reading to unfetter many women bound by stereotypes and expectations that are nowhere in Scripture.

Posted By: Dale Fincher | February 23, 2010 2:18 PM

Caryn, this made me think of what happened to my daughter Debbie, recently. Nothing to do with curling, except it curled my hair when she told me. Debbie was at the check-out counter with all three of my darling grandsons (4, 2 1/2, 1) when the lady behind her said, "You should be ashamed having all those children and destroying the planet." Debbie stared at her in unbelief, somehow keeping from making some inappropriate retort.

Posted By: judy | February 23, 2010 2:27 PM

Wow, Judy. I hope she left her goods unpurchased at the check-out counter and left the store, perhaps after talking to the manager.

Posted By: Henry | February 23, 2010 2:52 PM

I assume that the physician in charge of the athlete approved her activity, and we are assuming then, that the athlete did not have a high risk pregnancy and a history of muliple miscarriages and premature births. This was, afterall, curling, not the luge, which, as we saw, can be dangerous to even non-pregnant highly fit males. I like seeing how women are proud of and fashionable with their pregnancies, and how they want to stay fit and healthy. I had my first of three babies when maternity clothes were ugly tents. My mother's generation whispered about being "P-G", as if "pregnant" were a dirty word, and my grandmother's generation called it being "that way." Now women are "that way" in the Olympics, and everybody knows it, and it actually works. Cheers for us! And God bless our moms and babies.

Posted By: Maryann | February 23, 2010 4:27 PM

Don't you just love how God designed our bodies ... to be fit, strong, active! Only He could know just what our babies need so that they're protected as we carry them for those first 9 months.

Let's encourage each other to celebrate who and how He's shaped us. And be wise in the choices we make as we pursue our goals, dreams ... and paychecks.

Posted By: Linda Stoll | February 24, 2010 8:36 AM

Actually, she would not be the first pregnant woman to win an olympic gold medel. Lisa Brown Miller was pregnant when she won a gold medel as a member of the 1998 US Women's Hockey Team

Posted By: snowbunny | February 24, 2010 1:35 PM

Thank you so much for this article! It hits home for me as my husband and I are trying to get pregnant, and I am a very active person. So many friends around me have given up the running, biking, swimming, etc..., that they love, simply because they're pregnant or a mom of young kids. This is so disheartening for someone like myself, who relieves stress and keeps my energy up by working out. As I look forward to motherhood, I often feel like it takes all my resolve to affirm that I will stay active during and after pregnancy. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in this, and that there are others who know how I feel!

Posted By: Jenny | February 24, 2010 8:34 PM

@Snowbunny: Thanks! That's a point I should've made. As far as I could find, Krisie Moore would be the first KNOWN pregnant woman to win gold. I imagine that far more athletes are or have been pregnant. Did Lisa Brown Miller make it public? I hadn't seen that.

Posted By: Caryn Rivadeneira | February 25, 2010 8:27 AM

Linda writes: "Only He could know just what our babies need so that they're protected as we carry them for those first 9 months."

Um, if God knows what babies need to stay safe, how do you explain stillbirths, birth defects, and the 55% of conceptions that naturally end in miscarriage?

Posted By: kathleen | February 26, 2010 1:29 AM

Talk about selfishness! What about the pregnant woman who is hurtling down the highway in the passing lane going 75 mph and talking on her cellphone?

Posted By: David Ballou | February 27, 2010 6:55 AM

I'm pretty passionate about horseback riding...and I have 2 toddlers. Although I totally believe in pursuing my passions and the God-given talents and dreams in my heart, I still didn't feel quite right about riding sport horses while pregnant. Riding is a 'high risk' activity, one that was worth taking a short (in terms of a lifetime) break from in order to prevent taking any spills or getting a hoof in the chest or belly! (I don't think I would have made the same choice about dog walking or curling) I suppose some women do selfishly put their unborn babies at risk, but this is something for their doctor,spouses, friends, and family to confront them on, and ultimately a personal choice.

Posted By: Beth | May 9, 2010 5:38 PM

One of my dance teachers, a professional dancer, continued dancing, performing and teaching up until her 7th month of pregnancy. She cut back toward the 7th month but she was still dancing and staying active. Everyone asked if it was safe for the baby and her response was always "My doctor says it's fine, I feel comfortable so I'll keep doing it until I feel uncomfortable or my doctor tells me not to." Why can't that be enough? Why can't people leave decisions up to a woman and whom ever she would like to consult with? If you feel comfortable and your doctor says go ahead shouldn't that be enough?

Posted By: Maria | February 11, 2011 10:00 PM

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