Hermenuetics

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My sister-in-law, visiting this week, commented that my neighborhood looked like the one in "The Truman Show". I, too, have alternately enjoyed and laughed at its manicured perfection. It's the suburban mom's ideal: safe, friendly, and asthetically pleasing. But if we fit too nicely into this picture, it's probably not a bold enough witness that our neighbors see us pile our frilly-skirted kids into the car on Sundays at 9am.
When my concern is as focused on my throw pillows and whether my kids' hairbows are organic as it is on the needs of my community (and my world), I'm not fulfilling my purpose. I think one of the new temptations for Christian moms is, in fact, to feel that their entire purpose is in raising two or three kids with the right values, the right number of healthy involvements, and the SLR candid photos for the mommy blog. It's then tempting to reward myself after a day of feeding and grooming and getting them to bed with a piece of cheesecake and the next episode of NCIS. Is that all I'm here for? Or will I fulfill even my role as a mom much better if my kids see me investing more heavily in the world, in a nursing home, in homeless shelter, or what have you?

www.thewifeofleisure.com

Posted By: Elizabeth Vaughn Do | February 23, 2011 12:13 PM

Is that all I'm here for? NO.

Or will I fulfill even my role as a mom much better if my kids see me investing more heavily in the world, in a nursing home, in homeless shelter, or what have you? YES.

I firmly believe that we moms have been misdirected if we believe the entirety of our lives is to be focused inwardly, at our homes and families, to the exclusion of God's mission for each and every one of us. Motherhood is critically important, but it is a secondary calling that must be viewed in the larger context of God's intent for us to love him, love others, be his witnesses, and make disciples.

When children see their parents in a missional way, it makes a huge impact in their lives. And I do believe part of what our purpose is as parents is for our children to see the larger picture for why we exist on this earth. Not for our own purposes or glory, but for God's. I think it is so fulfilling when our kids see that in us, then embrace that truth in their own lives.

Posted By: Helen | February 23, 2011 1:36 PM

Thank you! I've often felt that moms lose sight of the bigger picture (existing for God's glory, not our own) because we're too focused on our children. That's where we tend to find our identity, unfortunately.

Recently, I told my daughters that I'm a better mom when I write. My writing (which focuses on giving hope in the midst of pain) is directed at both those "inside" and "outside" the church (both of which are mission fields!), and I believe that if I didn't have my writing to connect me with those who need hope, I would be just another burnt-out, stressed-out mom, living aimlessly and unintentionally. And that would be a huge waste of my life!

Posted By: Laura Droege | February 23, 2011 1:59 PM

Laura, as a fellow mom-writer, I can unequivocally tell you that when I have taken time to use the gifts and abilities God has given me to serve him through my writing, I have experienced so much peace and fulfillment. It has absolutely helped bring sanity to the stresses of motherhood--I love my kids, but God has designed me to be a presence in the world and when I concurrently live out that calling, my kids learn that they are not the center of my world, nor should they be. Your kids are learning valuable lessons about how we are all God's ambassadors and missionaries, in whatever way he calls, first and foremost--both in our homes and in the world around us. Thanks for posting!

Posted By: Helen Lee | February 23, 2011 2:11 PM

Laura, as a fellow mom-writer, I can unequivocally tell you that when I have taken time to use the gifts and abilities God has given me to serve him through my writing, I have experienced so much peace and fulfillment. It has absolutely helped bring sanity to the stresses of motherhood--I love my kids, but God has designed me to be a presence in the world and when I concurrently live out that calling, my kids learn that they are not the center of my world, nor should they be. Your kids are learning valuable lessons about how we are all God's ambassadors and missionaries, in whatever way he calls, first and foremost--both in our homes and in the world around us. Thanks for posting!

Posted By: Helen Lee | February 23, 2011 2:49 PM

Helen, your work is so encouraging! God gives us time to be used in such diverse ways. Women are so often told that the only thing that matters is getting that Mrs. and the kids. But the years spent chasing small children is just a small fraction of the bigger picture of our lives. Of the talent, gifts and abilities he gives us. He grows us up and puts passions in our hearts. And sure, we can live out some of those at home but we do such an injustice to God and to this world when we take all the gifts we have and sequester them at home. So blessed to know that your words are out there encouraging us all on to think bigger and focus outward. THanks Helen and Jen!

Posted By: Tracey | February 23, 2011 4:03 PM

Balance is important, too. We can go the other way and spend too much time ministering in the church and community, while our kids are not getting the time they need. I actually see more of that in the church than the other way around.

Good post, though, to remind us that everyone we meet and all situations are part of the mission field, not just the ones in far off lands!

Posted By: Suzy | February 23, 2011 4:58 PM

I have read Helen's book & enjoyed the challenge behind it. I hope I can say what I want to say properly (I have been known to throw a thought out that was very poorly worded & even less understood)...What everyone is terming "missional" is what I consider "normal service in the life of a believer". So-what am I not getting?

Posted By: Krissi | February 23, 2011 10:48 PM

Krissi-
I think I understand what you're saying. Being "missional" should be normal for a Christian; we should be engaged in the culture (ie, influencing it) and be willing to serve within the church body as well.

However, a lot of people seem to think that "normal service in the life of a believer" means working ONLY within the boundaries of the church setting (think teaching Sunday school or visiting shut-ins or serving as a deacon/elder).

Personally, I think the term "missional" is meant to convey that we need to broaden our outlook on what it means to "serve God." Does this mean working within the church (if one is called to do so?) (I mean things like teaching Sunday school, etc.) Or does it also mean working outside of "churchy" places, working within the arts, social justice areas, etc.? I think it does.

Posted By: Laura Droege | February 24, 2011 8:14 AM

"Motherhood is critically important, but even the role of being a mother cannot come before our commitment to God and the particular mission he has designed for each and every one of us,” Lee said.

Amen and amen.

I've wondered why churches are so often okay with promoting motherhood above following Jesus. I love being a mom and love my kids but I just feel so uncomfortable when I hear messages that make it seem like motherhood should come before all else.

Posted By: Karen | February 24, 2011 2:59 PM

I found this article very interesting, along with the comments below it. I am a missionary serving in Latin America and have been addressing issues faced by moms on the mission field, such as finding our identity: mom or a missionary?
Is it right for us to sacrifice our kids on the altar of "ministry" because that is what both our supporting churches and the national church expect of us? Many have done that in the past...and regret it. We've "saved the world", but "lost our kids".
For us, the pendulum swings far to the other side from where this post does. Definitely a thought provoking read. Thanks.

Posted By: IK Hadinger | March 7, 2011 11:26 AM