Her.meneutics: Liberty U. Students on Interracial Marriage Trends

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« 'It Must Stop' | Main | The Praying Pedestrian: A Lenten Discipline »

April 5, 2011

Liberty U. Students on Interracial Marriage Trends

I asked five female alumni whether their marriages mirrored recent sociological data on mixed-race marriages in the South. Here's what they told me.

Karen Swallow Prior

Some moons ago, my first official “date” was with a black boy. (I am white, by the way.) Technically he was half-black, but in the remote Maine community where I grew up, it didn’t make much difference either way. There was one black family in town; they had only one child around my age, so he was the only black kid in my school. We didn’t think of him as “black” or “half-black” or “mulatto,” though. We thought of him as Jeff. That experience has largely defined race relations for me.

Not so, of course, for much of our nation’s history and many of our nation’s people.

But interesting new trends are emerging from the 2010 U.S. Census, particularly in race dynamics. One finding is that a more general population shift to the southern states now includes an increased number of African Americans who, for the past century, have lived in higher concentrations in the Northeast. Perhaps related to this trend are reports that in the Deep South, inter-racial marriages are gaining wider acceptance.

The New York Times recently reported based on Census data that of all the states, Mississippi saw the greatest increase in mixed-race marriages. The couples profiled in the story, despite minor tensions over their inter-racial status, report smooth sailing in a state once home to some of the country’s most volatile racial conflicts.

We’ve come a long way, and that’s good news.

Liberty University, where I teach, is located in Lynchburg, Virginia, not far from the former Confederate capital, and the school offers a good snapshot of that progress. Its founder, the late Rev. Jerry Falwell, at the same time he was growing a church and becoming a national conservative leader in the 1960s, was also gaining notoriety as a sort of accidental segregationist. In his autobiography, he wrote candidly about his formerly racist attitudes and his later profound remorse for those views, inherited honestly, if uncritically, through his cultural context. Inasmuch as one can make amends for such things, then certainly he achieved that before his death in 2007: there has long been a thriving population of minority students at Liberty, one that reflects national percentages.

I’ve seen these trends being played out among my students, a number of whom are now partnered in mixed-race marriages; I contacted five of them to see if their experiences square with the reports above. As it turns out, the answer is yes — and no.

It is clear from their experiences that great progress has been made for inter-racial couples and families in the South. The women told me that public attitudes are generally “more receptive” and “positive” overall. Rachel, who is white, says the fact that her husband is black is “not an issue at all” where they live in Virginia. They both work at a small liberal arts college where diversity is a core value and attend church with a mixed-race congregation that “appreciates” having her husband as a worship leader. Jessica, whose husband is a native of Nigeria, also lives and works primarily around communities that value diversity. She says, “Our social circles are pretty tolerant and many times, racially diverse, and this may also have something to do with the positive reception we feel.”

But all is not rosy. Each of these women cites the greatest hostility as coming from older black women, some of whom have vocally objected to a black man marrying a white woman. When Jessica and her husband are in social situations dominated by one race or the other, they “downplay” their connection. Chris-Robin says she and her husband “have experienced quite a bit of angst” because their marriage is inter-racial. Living in Virginia, they had enough “confrontations”—from tense stares to nasty comments meant for them and their children to hear — that they have a rule: If they are in a public place and either of them says, “Go, now!” they do just that, no questions asked.

Unlike the couples in the Times article, Chris-Robin, whose family is from Mississippi, and her husband simply won’t go there. “Pamela,” who also lives in Virginia, has one child with her African American husband, whom she met in high school and dated throughout college. She’s not sure if the “negativity” she experienced when they were first dating has diminished or if she simply has stopped noticing it. Some things, however, are impossible not to notice. Recently, she overheard fellow residents of her apartment complex complaining to one another about people who have children with “nasty a** n*****s." The words stung, reminding her that “words can do way more damage than we can possibly imagine.”

All the women mentioned the crucial role their families played in shaping the dynamics of their marriages, having more effect than perhaps anything else. Most experienced some initial resistance, even opposition, from concerned parents, only to have them won over with time. “Pamela,” whose father was initially opposed to her marrying a black man, says, happily, now she thinks her father loves her husband more than her. But things did not turn out so well for “Brittany” and her husband, who are estranged after a couple years of marriage. The inability of her husband’s family to accept his white wife, along with his failure to sufficiently support her, has contributed to the disintegration of the marriage, which seems beyond repair, although “Brittany” is praying for a miracle.

I am praying with “Brittany” for the healing of her marriage, as we in the body of Christ should pray for all marriages. Genesis 1:27 says that God created us as “male and female.” In the next chapter, God exhorts the man and woman to hold fast in the marriage bond. When God designed marriage, he made no mention of race. Why should we?

Comments

I realize your column is short. Your interviews were likely only with white women married to black men...the most common inter-racial dynamic. It is my experience that white women have problems with black women because of their own attitudes. I am a white woman married to a black man for many years. Before I married I had many Black women friends...still have them and have more since marrying. I have attempted to understand the culture of Black women and what they are up against. Whether married to a Black man or not, many Black women know that white women are privileged in this country and have very little awareness of that fact. I find myself frequently the only white (gray haired) person in large gatherings of Black folk...and my husband the opposite. People are not just people. Attempting to understand while not assuming, being "down to earth" goes a long way. I wish all white women could experience the richness of cross racial friendships with other women.

Miscegenation is the new 'in' fashion around the world in churchistic circles, inspired by the cross-racial adoptions of the Qabbalistic-believing Madonna and the Angelina Jolie brigade. While the Old Testament is often violently against miscegenation, the prevailing (but non-biblical) view is that miscegenation has gone from being very evil to being very good. Paul changed Jesus' teachings from being Israel-centered (Matthew 15:24,26) to being universalistic, but Paul was an unreliable witness to the teachings of Jesus. Paul claimed, years after his Damascus road experience: “I am a Pharisee, a son (offspring) of Pharisees” (Acts23:6). Jesus warned against the teaching of the Pharisees, but many churches ignore the warning. Eph2:15 totally contradicts Matt5:17. 1Cor6:12 nullifies Matt19:17 and Matt22:37+. Gal2:16 is contradicted by James2:24. Paul circumcised Timothy (Acts16:3) but rejected this practice Gal5:2+. Paul fathered universalism but showed particular prejudice towards Cretans (Titus1:12+). Acts 9 says Paul fell, and his companions stood. Acts 27 says they all fell. Acts 9 says the companions heard the voice, but Acts 22 says they didn’t hear the voice. Jesus appointed Peter as the foundation of his church, but the churches prefer Paul. Paul boasts that he refrains from boasting (2Cor10,11,12). To prefer Paulianity is to build your house on sand.

I can empathize with the experiences of the women you interviewed, but I think you have to be careful not to assume that the most hostile people are those who yell the loudest.

Interracial and intercultural couples live out Galatians 3:28 every day. They are to be commended.

I have a mixed race daughter in law and she is the joy of my life. she has kept my son in the faith and I loved her before he ever did. People are people, colour is only skin deep. It's the heart that makes the differences between us.

This article is short...so it can't possibly capture all positions on this subject. However, it does show a quick snapshot of the most common interracial relationship make up--that of a white woman with a black man. All types of interracial relationships will have it's own dynamic with it's own individual problems and/or strengths.

Thank God I really, truly am color blind.

Jim Delaney - sorry for my ignorance, but what was your point? I am Caucasian married to an Asian for nearly 20 years.

I do agree with what the article shows, but what it boils down to is that everyone has their own opinion no matter the color. I dated a black man for 2 years in high school through college and was treated with disdain and normalcy from both races. There were black women who HATED me without even knowing me and there were black women I was in great friendships with. The same for whites. I did end the relationship sadly because I couldn't hang with the outcastedness I received from my own parents/grandparents. Although they had great relationships with other blacks in the area or in their work, they were not found of mixed dating. It always seemed funny to me that my abusive white boyfriend was more accepted than my loving black one.? I've always believed God is color blind and to love another in the same way is showing God's love for ALL no matter what race or creed.

"It is my experience that white women have problems with black women because of their own attitudes. "

This isn't always the case. While I do agree that people can sense when you have a chip on your shoulder and that that may attract some negativity, I have been in situations personally where the color of my skin was enough to set off hostile reactions. There's a line here. If you go into a situation expecting trouble, it will probably find you; but sometimes, it finds you when you're not looking for it.

The problem pointed out by the author, and also by some commenters, of negative attitudes from black women towards mixed-race couples is entirely natural. All 5 of the couples in the article were black man-white woman couples, as were several mentioned in the comments. The number of white man-black woman couples is much, much smaller which means black women have a much smaller pool of available potential mates. Every black man that marries a white woman decreases that pool by one, so it's easy to see black women would resent that. Of course, most black women overcome that general resentment and are friendly and gracious to all people regardless of race, but you can certainly understand where the resentment comes from.

I do not believe that God is "color blind"; rather that God rejoices in a variety of races, ethnicities and colors, and in various combinations of races, ethnicities and colors, all to reflect the wonders of creation for the glory of Christ (Colossians 1:15-18).

Whether married to a Black man or not, many Black women know that white women are privileged in this country and have very little awareness of that fact.

It's true... and I think we really have to work to try and hear where black women are coming from. It's not any easy road for anyone, but it can get a bit less rocky when we let go of our assumptions.

Growing up in the greater Seattle area, I was exposed to many people of different races. My parents told me they did not care what color my boyfriends were, as long as they were Christians. So,while in high school and college I dated men of many different races and skin colors. My parents welcomed each and everyone of my dates into there homes and never said a word about skin color or race. I have told my kids the same thing. Their dates could be purple for all I care, I just want them to be men and women of God! Skin color a man or women not make, but their heart is who they are.

Every black woman I have encountered whether at work, in Church, doctor's office, stores as clerk and customer, wherever, has been bossy and ruling in whatever they do. I put that to one factor, they had to take care of the kids when they or husbands were sold off. Black men died young even in freedom for various health, hard work, etc. reasons again leaving black women to take care of their families. Black culture slipped into marriages or singleness where men because they were black couldn't get good jobs, but the black woman could. Many black men left their women behind because the women could do a better job of raising the family due to job getting. Haven't you noticed so many black children are raised by women, especially grandmothers. Who wouldn't resent the usually black men capable of getting good jobs picking white women after how the black women struggled to keep their Christian beliefs and families together for generations. Yes, the black woman is responsible for keeping Christianity in the numbers it is today while white women run away or go secular. I have great respect for the tough role in black life they got stuck with and wish them well in rebuilding their families with men who stay. Black men are now seeking that role by leaving the 60's cultural baloney of gangs,drugs, me first, and take the easy road that makes you happy, all behind and seeing families as their future.

I am disappointed anytime I see Christians talking about race as if it actually existed. This gives the notion more traction in a society still recovering from an era of racism and slavery. To set the record straight, "race" is a social construct and NOT a biological reality. It is the classification of humans by phenotype (physical traits) and is a necessary component to the evil ideology of racism. Yet the concept that there are discreet races is entirely unscientific and has no place in modern enlightened discourse, particularly Christian teaching. More importantly, it is an unbiblical concept (no equivalent of the modern notion is taught or referred to in Scripture, though racist Christians have often argued it was taught in Genesis -- an attempt to justify slavery). There is a huge amount of confusion today still over what constitutes race, generally conflating it with ethnicity. Ethnicity denotes one's culture, language, and heritage -- a concept which is valid and clearly Biblical (e.g., Jews versus Greeks and indeed all ethnolinguistic people groups). But race is the separation of mankind based on physical appearance such as skin color.

Race is nevertheless a SOCIAL construct, with very slippery boundaries, but which is used to justify every kind of discrimination, including the holocaust and slavery. Christians should condemn racialized thinking and I personally believe we should strive to avoid discourse which essentially validates it. Of course this is easier said than done in the USA where race is a frequent topic... and indeed even required classification for every schoolchild. Although I am a so-called "white" person married to an "Asian," I honestly never thought of our marriage as "biracial" until an African-American man pointed it out and asked how my church viewed it. (Here is a sensitive question: does the African-American community not want to eschew the concept of race perhaps because they have so much invested in it??). I was shocked to hear our relationship described in those terms. But obviously that is what it is to some people. It is no further leap to refer to our children as "mixed blood" (as if there was an Asian type of blood rather than just A, B, AB & O). Well meaning social critics are lately eager to not how common such children are. The irony is that we are all mixed and blood and DNA analysis do not correlate at all with society's misguided view of what race is supposed to be. Our President cannot be thought of as white, even though he is no less Caucasian than "black", yet raised by his white mother. I suspect his half-brother in China (Mark Obama, who is married to a Chinese woman) will not have to face such misguided labeling. If only America were like China -- a country without racial classifications or conflicts based on them.

I myself have a stake in this issue. So-called "biracial" children are on the face of it a blend of two halves (no more or less) of two supposed races. But what does that really leave them with in this racial calculus? And how is it even important? Well, since race is actually a social construct, it should be no surprise that we still have laws to determine these things. According to the State of Texas (and Illinois at least), my half-Asian daugher "must check only one box" and declare her race each year. "Mixed" is not even an option. And yet based on her looks, most people cannot guess that my daughter actually has a Chinese mother. (Her mother herself is actually often mistaken to be a Mexican). The point being that race is always only in the eye (mind) of the beholder and its falsehood is proved by the billions of exceptions... light-skinned "blacks," brown-skinned Hispanics (emphatically claiming to be "white"), and all the many other people groups reduced somehow into the broadest of categories. Race is a damnable slippery slope that serves no purpose other than discrimination. Do we really need to to keep this outdated construct alive? Even we we want to note our "progress"?

Those of you who are shocked to hear it preached that race is not even a physical or biological reality should reflect on the following question: How many races are there exactly and how de we define them? (5? 6? 7? Are Indians Caucasians? Who is IN and who gets labeled as the OTHER?)

Thank you for this article, drawing attention to some of the issues surrounding diversity in marriage and community.

It's sad to me to see how counter-productive we can be sometimes in our actions, i.e. the families who disapprove of mixed marriages or older black women who scorn, at the same time many people are proclaiming equality and oneness.

One of the women you interviewed said she is enriched by friendships with others from another culture. Just today on www.startmarriageright.com, we had Jocelyn Green interview 4 couples in intercultural marriages and they all said the same thing: it opens up a new world to enter into the culture of another, and see with new eyes.

I would be interested in any statistics regarding the divorce rate among Christian inter-racial marriages. Is the divorce rate greater or lesser or about the same as for all evangelical Christians in general?

As for marriage statistics, let's imagine for a moment that my marriage ("white" married to "Asian") ended in divorce and became the statistic you are looking for. It is supposedly a "biracial marriage." But how would anyone know that RACE was a significant variable? Why wouldn't it instead be the cross-cultural (international) differences due to the fact that my wife and I are from two different ethnic groups (I am American, she is Chinese)? We KNOW that international marriages have a higher rate of divorce in all populations. Again, why assume that it is RACE (skin color) that is a factor? We are easily fooled into thinking physical features are significant factors because we conflate race with ethnicity. Of course what people really mean when they say "biracial" is probably what the photo at the top implies -- black married to white. After all, the other so-called races are all too hazy... We are so easily mislead by this black & white (binary) thinking. The truth is that we are all more blended than we realize. It is not the hardware that matters, but the software.

Christians need to eliminate the word "race". We are all one "color" just different tones and hues based on the level of melatonin. "Race" also implies a certain hierarchy as if one 'race' is 'superior' to another.
The admonition about cross marriage in the OT was to keep God's chosen people group (the Jews) free from syncretic theological influences that so often occur. There was no such constraint if the non-Jew converted to Judaism.
Any church that preaches a seperation of "races" or "inter-marriage" has a flawed theology that does not honor God.
http://blogs.answersingenesis.org/blogs/ken-ham/tag/one-blood/

"Are Indians Caucasians?"

A white Christian woman in Lynchburg, VA back in the 1990s did not thinks so and took it out on me when her white Chrisitian daughter got engaged to a Christian guy from South India, who looked close to black...why? earlier she had come to me having nothing but contempt for the relationship he had with her daughter and I told her that I am sure that his family feels the same way and hence the relationship will not last...when I was proved wrong, she took it out on me saying that she woule have been a bit more tough had I not told her that his family will be equally opposed.

The problem is there are many of us Americans, particularly white southerners who emphasize preserving skin rather than defeating sin...and in the process come short of the glory of Jesus Christ....and that is a crying shame!

http://politics.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474979202244

Interracial statistics aren't what's important. The average income of middle-class whites has been in a continuous decline. Education standards for this demographic are also far lower now than they were 10-30 years ago. We are basically seeing the "dumbing down" of America's famous middle-class. We've gone from #1 in math and sciences 15 years ago to #124.

We should put race aside though and focus on how to keep black boys from dropping out of high school at such staggering rates as 50%! America won't be able to fill white-collar jobs to compete with Asia when our youths are dropping out and/or terrorizing other students. Obama is right to direct our education funds to the South so we can tackle this problem head-on instead of always supporting the best and brightest.

Love is color-blind and class blind. If a girl falls in love with someone from an uneducated and poor family, that's still love and love is what Jesus preached in the Gospel. Other cultures are more strict about who marries their daughter, but not ours, because we are free to love whomever we want.

That's why America is winning, because we have the economic freedom to ignore culture and class differences without having to worry about superficial things like retirement. Jesus said it would be harder for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for him to get to heaven. We also have the freedom to find someone without losing weight, that's a plus for me because I LOVE chocolate and staying indoors.

There is no such thing as race or races, even these terms are non scientific, not even A&P terms however, there is the Genus Homo, and the Species Sapiens. For there is no such thing as a specific race gene nor genome specifying any particular gene for color indicating race or races. Race and or races are based on a myth, a fabrication of lies told long enough for such to be believed and it is disheartening to see church people adhering to such mythology.
Thus there is no such thing as interracial or interracial marriages, or biracial. And the only way one can be biracial either they are greater than 50-100% Neanderthal or another new genus or species.
J Frank

The Paul who led by the Spirit says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male or female,for you are all one in Christ... heirs to the promise" (Gal 3:28-29) is now labelled as unrelaible by Christine. The quotes from Acts 9 and Acts about Paul's experience do not contradict at all for one can hear a sound and not understand the meaning from the sound. Such presumptious conclusions can be avoided if one can heed the words of Paul from Gal 6:1a "Watch yourself or you also may be tempted". Sin is very subtle and violent.

I don't think Jerry Falwell was an "accidental" racist, he was quite deliberately racist as were many other Southern Baptists who put their privileged positions in society above their Christianity. Falwell supported apartheid in South Africa and was against civil rights legislation in the USA. Among many other racist Christian supporters of his University were Senator Jesse Helms and now Falwell's son has publically endorsed the racist and social injustice agenda of Mormon Glen Beck. One suspects that a lot of Liberty's antagonism to President Obama is as much about race as political ideology. Look at the f/b pages of some of Liberty's leaders and see what sort of racist organisations they support.

Colorblindness is dangerous. To be colorblind often leads to the assumption that another person's experience is just like your own.
It is important to pay attention to each others' ethnic background because it will help us to understand each other. I also believe that our differences will help us to see a more full picture of who God is.
While race is a social construct, it still has immense ramifications today. I think it would be near impossible for us to stop using this term because we are all still affected by it (no matter how much we think we aren't) - as a White woman, I benefit from privilege, whether or not I am aware of it.
I appreciated this article but am disappointed at the ignorance surrounding a colorblind mentality. Ethnicity (from the Greek word ethnos, often translated nations or Gentiles) is all over Scripture. Most of us just don't see it because we have been raised to be colorblind.

Again, race and ethnicity are not the same thing at all, but they are conflated all too often, plus often used in the same breath interchangeably, as can already be seen above. References to "color" have no place in discussing ethnicity. Ethnicity is again about SHARED heritage, a sense of SHARED history, and can include a real or even putative homeland, but it is first and foremost based on SHARED LANGUAGE and SHARED CULTURE. Importantly, one can ultimately choose one's own identity... the key word being "shared." A Chinese-American can decide how much if at all she identifies as a "Chinese" person. It is possible to feel Chinese even if one speaks the language poorly... but the values, history, language, and culture are usually learned from one's family. One does not need to be born in a putative homeland to feel part of the ethnic group.

Second, the significance of the Jew/Greek formulations in Scripture, as well as the problems of missionary expansion to the Gentiles (culminating in the debates at the Jerusalem Council over culture detailed in Acts), and Paul's discourses on unity and diversity in the Body of Christ all have the problem of ethnolinguistic "others" ("Greeks" representing all ethnic nations) in view. Skin color is irrelevant wherever Biblical discourse has ethnic groups in mind, because the modern racial concept was not even constructed until 15th century Spain (the word "race" comes from Spanish and Latin cognates). It is not really found elaborated before then. But the ideology of racism in the West was developed to justify the enslavement of Africans and other colonized peoples.

To put it more pointedly, unlike "race", ethnicity (like culture in general) is LEARNED, an internal identity based on upbringing. A person from one ethnic family can be raised elsewhere and adopt the ethnicity of the new home. It is in some ways like software, versus hardware. Race is all about EXTERNAL appearance (or in rare instances, other phenotypes such as "blood" -- but always PHYSICAL thus more like hardware), and although phenotypes like skin color have no real significance, or scientific validity, racism posits that they do... so that inherent traits or status can be judged as somehow inferior. Unfortunately, racism is also learned behavior. Once one learns that race matters, that it is something inherent, then race mixing is seen as a form of polluting the pure races. Ultimately this leads to banning intermarriage out of fear in an effort to stop "mixed" (or often worse pejoratives like "mongrel") offspring. Such dehumanizing arguments generally gain traction in nationalistic discourses, seen most awfully in Nazi Germany when Jews were labeled as the racially inferior sub-humans. But more often it is more subtle. Let's not think all racist nationalists are as obvious and odious as Nazis. They exist everywhere race has traction as a valid construct.

Unlike "race," there is no problem discussing differences in culture and heritage in terms of "ethnicity" (using standard social science definitions), because each ethnic group constructs its own shared identity (generally based on language, but not always). Ethnicity is NOT something you are inherently born with. Will an Asian child who is adopted and raised by a white (or black) American family think and act Asian (e.g., Chinese)? Not likely. Because ethnicity is learned and is not connected inherently to any physical features, such as eye shape. Furthermore, even though most Chinese happen to look what we stereotype as "Asian," do not make the mistake of thinking something like eyelid shape form an inherent part of Chinese ethnicity. (My own daughter has blond hair, but she grew up as an MK overseas, attended Asian national schools and learning an Asian language as her own. Although she looks "white" to Americans, she has actually only lived a small part of her life in the US and her internal "software" is arguably more of an Asian ethnicity. Then again, is there a "white" ethnicity? It is conflating skin color with culture). The Church should be especially aware of the existence of multi-ethnic and Third Culture Kids (TCKs) since they are the common result of missionary work! Examples like this help us realize where the real boundaries between humans are and that ethnicity (like language) is something that is more flexible, acquired, and negotiated. One can be a hyphenated person with mixed cultures and the acquisition can occur anytime.

So let us not confuse race with ethnicity. Let me put it another way. It almost seems like a heresy in the USA, but one can indeed be "black" and not share the culture, language, and other learned values of the African-American community. There is obviously a black subculture and because of shared heritage and origins, if not language, it is probably correct to speak of African-American ethnicity. (How much President Obama has adopted it as his own is perhaps a matter of political debate, though it is really only for him to say and his biological father was not even American but Kenyan. Perhaps a better example here might be to consider blacks in France or black Cubans). Labeling people as "black" because of skin color doesn't really tell us ANYTHING about their internal identity, culture, or language, much less their intelligence or morality. What they were born with and what they learned and developed as their identity depends mostly on where they were raised. Let us hope society will not discriminate against them using race as an excuse. Armed with Biblical insight, the Church should be at the forefront of the deconstruction of race wherever it is claimed.

"Other cultures are more strict about who marries their daughter, but not ours, because we are free to love whomever we want."

News to me! If we did, we wont have Bob Jones Univesity or for that matter, Liberty University! Talk to a lot of students at Liberty...many wont even sit next to someone of a different race!

1. The most common form of "interracial" marriage is not black/white but white/asian.

2. Many Whites are stuck in a racial time warp because the church never challenged them on their hatred.

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