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« Kids' Diets: Why We Need Immovable Love, Not ‘Let’s Move’ | Main | Why Dogs Should Be Sent to Court »

August 11, 2011

Watching 'The Help' as an African American Woman

The new movie powerfully demonstrates that racial reconciliation happens not primarily through speeches and "diversity training" but through everyday friendships.

Natasha Robinson, guest blogger

“Write about what disturbs you, particularly if it doesn’t disturb anyone else.”

That’s the writing advice given to Skeeter, the only single white female and college graduate among her well-to-do white girlfriends who are all married with children. In the small town of Jackson, Mississippi, in the early 1960s, Skeeter reaches out to the African American maids of her so-called friends to speak her truth.

The truth is, one of Skeeter’s best friends, Hilly (a professing Christian and wife of a politician), is a high-minded and demoralizing individual who thinks it is perfectly normal to host a fundraiser for the “Poor Starving Children of Africa” and yet draft an initiative to require that all white families build separate bathrooms for their “help”; in Hilly’s words, “They have separate diseases than we do, and I’m just trying to protect our children.”

The help of which Hilly speaks are the African American maids and lead characters Aibileen and Minny, who spend their entire lives cooking food for white families, cleaning their homes, and looking after their white babies. Hilly is the one who spews the venom of lies and hatred that causes racism to persist. Skeeter and the rejected “white trash” Celia Foote are the bridge builders who take the risk to enter into relationships with the maids and get to know them as people.

Like many other African American women, I was a little apprehensive about reading a book and then going to yet another movie where black people are depicted as victims who need rescuing from the good white folk. Hollywood has followed that tag line with movies like The Blind Side, Save the Last Dance, Amistad, and Radio to name a few. Of course, African American women are equally unexcited about Hollywood’s depiction of yet another maid or “mammy” role.

But this story is different. The Help, Kathryn Stockett's bestseller, which just debuted in theaters yesterday, is a story about truth, courage, and forgiveness. This is a story about womanhood, friendship, and love.

The truth is those times were hard. That’s what I understand, not from what I have seen in a movie or read in a book, but from the stories of my own mother, the women in my family, my godmothers, and countless mentors who lived during that time. Racism is ugly. Racism is sinful and still plagues our society. It takes courage to admit and then wrestle with that statement.

You see, many evangelicals desire to reach across the aisle and talk racial reconciliation. I truly want to see racial reconciliation lived more consistently in my lifetime, for I believe that the gospel is the message and ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18–21). True reconciliation means restoring our relationship with God and each other. If 11 o’clock Sunday morning continues to be “the most segregated hour in America,” we are deceiving ourselves that we are living this reality.

Sure, we have come a long way, but in some circumstances, we are still hindered by folks like Hilly who make assumptions, ask questions but don’t listen, and then draw conclusions based on the small bubble in which they live. Instead of following Hilly’s arrogant lead of asking superficial questions like, “Aibileen, you like your separate bathroom in the garage, don’t you?” we can take Skeeter’s lead and go visit Aibileen’s house. It is at the kitchen table in a home when both of you are vulnerable and uncomfortable that the truth is shared.

That’s what I loved about The Help. It sends a powerful message that reconciliation does not happen primarily through speeches, books, diversity initiatives, or training and it should send a clear message to the church that reconciliation cannot happen with programs, goals, “special” services, and activities. Reconciliation is the result of intentionally building intimate relationships, one day at a time, with one person at a time.

I challenge readers to start here: take a look at your phone contact list and e-mail contacts. How many people are from a race or ethnicity different from your own? What kind of people have you invited to your dinner table over the past year?

We have a long turbulent history of racial injustice in this country, but I believe the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who said that “what self-centered men have torn down, men other-centered can build up.” God calls us to be other-centered. The love of Jesus is other-centered, which is why he engaged the Samaritan woman, allowed Mary of Bethany (a woman) to sit and learn at his feet, and ate with the tax collectors and sinners.

The gospel says that we all need help. The help that God provides gives us courage to tell the truth, love our enemies, offer forgiveness, and be the image bearers that he created us to be. That’s what Minny and Celia, Skeeter and Aibileen share with us. That’s a story of hope.

Natasha Robinson is a member of Cornerstone Baptist Church in Greensboro, North Carolina, and a full-time student at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. She enjoyed both the book and the movie. Check out her blog, A Sista's Journey where she featured a post entitled I Go to Church With White People. Also find her on Twitter @asistasjourney. She has written for Her.meneutics about Beyonce’s Wrong Message of Girl Empowerment and Modesty in the Church.

Camerin Courtney reviewed the film version of The Help for sister site CT Movies. Sarah Pulliam Bailey reviewed the book for Her.meneutics last spring.

Comments

"The new movie powerfully demonstrates that racial reconciliation happens not primarily through speeches and "diversity training" but through everyday friendships."

If that is the case the future is very grim indeed! Latest survey indicates that people belonging to the same political party or subset of a political party (tea party) congregate together..Greenville, SC for example, while people belonging to the other congregate in another part of the country, Vermont and Massachussetts and 99% of them are white. In fact whites hold more extreme views and are more divided politically than the division between minority and whites. We also have the issue of white running from minorities. Contrary to what they tell you they are not fleeing blacks and Hispanics. Cerritos, CA used to be 80% white, but when some middle class and rich Asian moved in whites began to flee..now it is over 60% Asian..rich and smart Asians, but segregated from white people nonetheless. Smart rich Asian kids in Cerritos grow up not knowing any whites or blacks until they go to college and in college some segregate themselves into Asian frats and sororities. The whites do the same thing. This does not augur well for the future.

Tasha, you are indeed busy writing, and being courageous. I have lots of friends of different ethnicities from around the world. Not enough here at home. I have to confess I watched this scenario lived out growing up in Dallas. I was deeply moved reading the book. Compassion and caring are good. But they require action. Doing something different. May I, please, Lord.

"You see, many evangelicals desire to reach across the aisle and talk racial reconciliation."

They will lend a hand across the aisle as long as the blacks dont take it to mean that the whites want to date them. Many southern white evangelicals are more bigoted than many of the high caste Brahmins from India! A high caste brahmin will never call a non-brahmin a different species, but a number of southern white evangelicals will call them just that...even today...and they will say that marriage between whites and non-whites are unnatural..inferring that non-whites are less than human. Try reading the Fighting Fundamental Forum and listen to what Emac and Chicagodan, both of whom claim to be pastors from Louisiana, say!

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctpolitics/2011/06/opposition_to_i.html

Oh Raj - you know that of which you speak. I just ran into this issue the other day (and yes, I work and live in the south). A co-worker mentioned a white man who had dated a black woman and another co-worker showed her disgust in a major way. I said something (yes, I was kind of proud of myself :) ) but it made me so sad to see this racism still running rampant.

I do believe that in the appropriate context that it should be ok to have a movie about whites "helping blacks" - not because blacks can't stand up for themselves, not as a means of trying to show we are superior (therefore blacks "need" our help), but because it can be seen as that white person that is trying to help is standing in the gap as an atonement for what all the other whites have done - especially during that time frame when even the law required racism.

I thank you for your review of this movie, it looked good from the moment I first saw a preview for it (I wasn't sure if it was based on a book or not) and I do look forward to watching it.

Great piece, Natasha! I just saw the movie and got a very similar impression.

I think this movies could spark some very interesting dialog about race. My biggest concern is that i am raising children in a world where one race feels that they are the superior race. It breaks my heart to see it in my church, my community in my children's schools. God loves us all and their is not a better race of people. we all have different experiences and cultures; but I think thats what makes us unique.I am proud to be an african american woman,clearly God did not make a mistake. Remember that God is the one who chooses what race we are and the parents we would be born in. well now i am in the family of God and i love my other sisters and brother of all races.

I've begun reading the book, and look forward to the movie. Growing up in Minnesota in the 60's, I saw some of this racist attitude lived out in my schools, and it took some adjusting. My parents had friends who were African-American from my earliest years, and I didn't know this was "odd" until I started public school. The more years pass the more I realize how radical my parents and these friends were, sharing homes and childcare, bathing us together, etc. It grieves me daily that society hasn't really grown in the past 50 years.

Yes, it's been a long day so take that into account before you judge me but.... I am so, very tired of "race".

Anonymous, If it's been that "long of a day" go take a nap. Don't comment that you are "Tired of race" and then not have the courage to type your name. My suggestion, and this is for the sake of accountability, is that you go to your Bible and read the scriptures highlighted in the article. Look up the stories of how Jesus lived & who he associated with & realize that "race" ain't new. Jesus dealt with it. So should we. Our previous generations didn't get it right. We must, because God is watching & will hold us accountable. Love God, Love others. Don't be a stumbling block for the next generation.

Hi Natasha,

I appreciate this post and your taking a stance. I completely agree that we have to build reconciliation one step at a time--through life on life relationships. But (and forgive me if I am reading you wrong here, I am open to correction) but you seem to indicate that reconciliation doesn't happen through goals or initiatives--or too casually dismiss these. It seems to me that such goals and initiatives knock down institutional racism many times (although obviously never perfectly) and in many cases allows the one on one relationships to happen. It has been reported that white evangelicals' attitudes towards African-Americans are even worse than non-believers' attitudes. Most white evangelicals don't even acknowledge or want to acknowledge institutional racism. When that phrase "institutional racism" is used false alarms about "liberal" ding, ding, ding, go off and shut down conversation. Nonetheless institutional racism exists and I think certain goals and initiatives--action can pave the way so that one-on-one relationships can be formed. The Civil Rights Movement acted to break down institutional walls and barriers. Because of it, we have a black president (regardless of what you think of his politics) those diversity laws and initiatives allow him and other minorities to have the chance to run--when they would've been forbidden 50 years ago.

Leslie:

Same thing here in Singapore. White American women, some of them who attend church regularly tell me that they can never date a white man who has dated a local woman(Chinese, Indian or any other Asian). What makes their skin crawl is the fact that many white men marry Filipina maids...this is almost a daily gossip among white wives and daughters of expats who get together at the local starbucks at 3:00 PM every day. When my friend married a Filipina maid, all hell broke loose among this group. An Asian CEO of a corporation where a white American woman from AZ works, told her that she is dating a white director from California of a multinational corporations and the disgust on her face was very telling...she would have thrown up if she could...and this was not a case of a CEO dating a maid. Actually this Asian CEO comes from one of the Singapore's millionaire families while the AZ woman is from Mesa and is of modest means. The white sense of entitlement was telling.

So, no I am not surprised anymore. If white American women have a sense of entitlement here in Singapore and are equally racist, I dont expect anything better in the US South where they are a majority and have the power. Yet, we have missionaries from AZ, and the deep south coming here condemning the Indian caste system and everything else they perceive as wrong with Asian society. They make a big issue of idolatory, but in my opinion the biggest idolators are white evangelicals. They essentially behave like pagans worshipping their white skin color and masquerade as Christians. That is one reason they are not able to get converts to Christianity. Recognizing this problem christian churches including evangelicals are now sending Asian American missionaries to countries such as Thailand and Vietnam..but that has not fooled the people. Internet goes everywhere. And this movie...it gets to Singapore by the end of the year...and this reinforces the image of white American women as racist and bigot and everything else that I have described above. This is the view of many Chinese women in Singapore, unfortunately.

I think this is a great post! I haven't read the book or seen the movie but I am intrigued. Racial reconciliation does start one person at a time. Laws in place that say segregation is legal are good too, necessary. But what really changes the heart is meeting people, loving people who are different than we are. It opens up our whole world when we invite others into our lives who don't think like us, don't look like us, who live different lifestyles. We can learn so much and become much better humans, better Believers. I don't think we can fathom how revolutionary Jesus was when He walked on this earth. He talked to everyone. He loved everyone.

Oh, that we would all be like Jesus! Thank you Lord!

@Leslie Point well taken

@Mandy Watson: Go Mandy! Love the fire in your belly. So glad that God has connected us and honored to call you my true friend. Love, Natasah

@Desiring Reconciliation and Shalom Your point is also well taken. Please allow me to put this response into prospective. I worked as a Diversity Admissions Officer in the Naval Academy Office of Admissions for three years. At the end of my tenure we admitted the most diverse freshmen class in Naval Academy history (at the time). While many considered it a victory, there was a lot of negative backlash from others who thought that we were "taking admission slots from qualified white kids." It never occurred to them that there are actually qualified minority students in America. Furthermore, they did not see all of the work we did behind the scenes to gain trust and a commitment from those minority students (who all had full scholarships elsewhere that didn't require them to go off to fight a war). We spent many nights and weekends on the phones with these students, their parents, community leaders, etc (anyone that we needed to gain trust). The foundation of our success was due to the relationships built. That's why the students and their families sometimes maintain contact with us throughout their Naval careers and beyond.

My opinion is that goals and initiatives (while important) may provide temporary solutions but they do not in and of themselves change the culture of an institution.

@Raj Thanks so much for your insightful response and sharing your experience. We all need to hear this. You also raise an important point concerning "imaging" which I may elaborate on in the coming weeks on my blog. Will let you know.

AMEN AMEN!!

Reconciliation not beginning at a conference but in personal relationships is so very true!
I want to see the movie. Could it open anyone's eyes?
I am saddened that much of my family is racist. I can't stand racism, and it sickens me very time their attitudes show in their nasty speech. Thankfully my mom is not racist and put me in a school that really took care to teach about every human's intrinsic worth and equality. Some of my best friends have been African American and African, and it has hurt my heart to think that my family hates these men and women very dear to me.
Just yesterday I made great strides in family genealogy research, and I found out that it is very likely that I verifiably have an African ancestor--a woman who lived in the 1700's. Of course, I always knew this is possible, but now that I've seen it in print, I am overjoyed. Of course, this means that my family hates itself. I called my great aunt immediately to let her know (a search about her parents got this going). I hope her heart will change. I hope she will choose to change her heart.
If the new movie can start discussion and inspire new awareness, I will be happy.

No movie will change people's racist attitudes. The only time racism will be wipe out is when our good Lord Jesus comes back . Jesus said to love your neighbor. Not love your neighbor who are of the same race.

I grew up in Dallas,TX in the 60's and 70's. My parents were both raised by "share cropper" tenant farmers on cotton farms throughout north/central Texas. They grew up picking cotton alongside black families who were trying to survive as well. I never heard a word of resentment for their hard upbringing, or a racist view of black people. My parents viewed anyone who was willing to work hard and care for their family with respect, and I thank God that they shared that view with me. My father expressed resentment toward what he called "sorry" people. There was no racial requirement for "sorriness". This was a person who was lazy, irresponsible and didn't do what was right.
During my childhood, Daddy rode the bus downtown every day to work. I was a young girl when I asked him, after hearing of Rosa Parks, and the stand she had made, "Daddy, would you give your seat on the bus to a black lady?" He looked at me for a few seconds while he processed all that my question involved and said, "Nancy, I would NEVER sit in a seat on a bus if ANY lady was having to stand. I am a gentleman." Gentlemen aren't racists. Thank God I was raised by a gentleman.
Natasha, you are my friend, and family member as my sister in Christ! NB

I enjoyed your review and thoughtful insights. Now I wanna see the movie!

I grew up in central Louisiana in a racist household and segregated neighborhood. We had "help" a few times while my mom worked and my dad was in the Viet Nam war. I have great memories of the beautiful Black women who cared for me and my sister while my parents were unavailable. It was at the kitchen table with my babysitters that helped keep the root of racial fear from anchoring in my young heart.

I now live in one of the most diverse zip codes in the state of Oregon. My kids bring friends home of all color, for color is not the point. And at our kitchen table they eat and laugh freely without much regard for who is from what country or what socioeconomic profile. They just enjoy one another.

Now I gotta see this movie. Maybe I'll take my daughter and her friends!

I just saw The Help last night, having read the book a year or so ago with my book group. It was super, followed the book nicely. The non profit I serve on is actually doing something to move towards reconciliation, not only of African Americans with whites, but also with Latinos with whites, Latinos with African Americans, all of whom live in south central Los Angeles, Compton and Inglewood. To learn more, go to www.newcityparish.org. Help us promote ways for faith and race to share our commonality instead of fearing it.

"How many [of your friends] are from a race or ethnicity different from your own?"

Great question, Natasha. I am embarrassed to say that I only have one black friend--a woman I worked with many years ago.
My question is, how do I build deep relationships with people of other races when my neighborhood, my daughter's school, and the churches in my area are mostly white? Friendships grow when people work together or share a common interest--what do I do if everyone who shows up at activities that interest me is white? I'd like to hear how others have dealt with this dilemma.

Thanks for reviewing this, Natasha! I loved the movie, too, and went into it sharing some of your concerns--that it would be, like Spike Lee says, a story where the white people are still the heroes! (And, less ethically charged, I was afraid it would botch the book I liked so much.) But I wasn't disappointed. I thought there were some amazing Christian themes in there, too. Here's my review: http://eatwithjoy.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/film-review-the-help-and-the-supper-of-the-lamb/

@Agape Powerful story! Thank you for being honest and sharing with us. I, too, hope that this movie can start insightful conversations and inspire new awareness about who we really are and who God wants us to be as a united people

@Pam Hogeweide Powerful statement about how your 'help' kept "the root of racial fear from anchoring in my young heart." That is clearly one of Aibileen's hopes and messages from the book and movie. Fear is not of God.

@Pat Digre Thanks for sharing the ministry information

@Susan Nikaido Great question! I'm actually dialoging with a white evangelical friend who is in the same situation as you. We will discuss racial reconciliation under the backdrop of 'The Help.' Discussion starts tomorrow and will resume on Thursday. We will close out on Tuesday and Thursday of next week. Please join us: www.asistasjourney.com

@Rachel Stone Thanks for sharing your review

All, there has recently been a racially charged murder of an African-American man by white teens in Jackson, Mississippi. Keeping you in the loop with video: http://goo.gl/Ys59w

Blessings, Natasha

Dear Raj, your world seems very small.
I live in Tennesse! Am caucasian & married to one. We are Evangelicals & attend such a church. My lovely daughter who just graduated from a highly respected local university is seriously dating a young man she met in her freshman class. They are graduated. They will most likely marry. He happens to be a black man. All our friends at church cared to know about him when they 1st met him (and 1st realized he was black...we never thought to mention it,) was if he loves the Lord & lives for Him. Just as they do any new "date" who comes to our Church. We know this is all that matters & so we live in the blessings of being a diverse congregation. Our kids only know that everyone is special in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. African-American,Phillipino,Malay,Japanese,Chinese,Brazillian,Mexican and sometimes Russian mixed families blend in with all the rest. It took me a few minutes to think of them all. May you someday meet folks who can worship in Spirit & Truth like this. You will be blessed.

There are several comments on this board mentioning the South. Yes, the South has had a terrible history in race relations, but we've had to acknowledge our past and deal with it while other areas can pretend that they're not racist. So, my point is that racism exists in all areas and all over the world, unfortunately.

Dear Mom of Many Daughters
--------------------------------------------
I commend your family for being able to see pass ethincity. However, believe me when I say your family and Church are a rarity. I'm from the South and I have to concur with Raj. Race relations have improved but not to the extent that it should. With the election of the 1st African American President; what was lying dormant have risen to the surface and spilled over into the ugliness you see played out in the mainstream media on a daily basis.

@K -- the South has had and STILL have a TERRIBLE history in race relations. Yes, racism exists in all areas, but by far "THE SOUTH" leads the pack by a wide margin!

I was raised by fundamentalists (evangelicals) in the south in the 70's and 80's. I recognize that the realities many of you have encountered are true, but they are nowhere near all pervasive. I was raised in a large, prominent church community with many mixed race families, and dating between whites and blacks and asians and hispanics was never an issue (beyond the questions of different family cultures that every couple must be prepared to address to some degree, and the desire to prepare mixed-race couples for the difficulties they would encounter in the broader culture, but that was more about not having rose-colored glasses). There was never disgust or superiority expressed.

I wish all white evangelicals had been formed in such contexts, and I'm grateful for the many who were (and are).

"There are several comments on this board mentioning the South. Yes, the South has had a terrible history in race relations, but we've had to acknowledge our past and deal with it while other areas can pretend that they're not racist. So, my point is that racism exists in all areas and all over the world, unfortunately."

When a bunch of white teens kick in the head of an African American man and then run him over with a truck (all caught in a videocam) in places like Seattle and Minneapolis or for that matter Boston, Denver, Honolulu or Vermont you will be right. Until then I will agree that racism exists everywhere, even here in Singapore, but the US South along with South Africa is the leader in that type of virulent racism! The white folks in Seattle and other places I have mentioned have still a lot to learn from southern racism and they never may learn....

http://www.theroot.com/buzz/mississippi-hate-crime-caught-video

And by the way, everyone here in Singapore and wherever the Singapore news is seen around Asia (Taiwan, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, India, etc.) this video has been seen by thousands of millions of people!

As far as the mom with many daughters is concerned, I am glad there is such a church in TN. I have been to all fifty states in the US, spent quite a bit of time down south, in Georgia (Forsythe County), Alabama (Mountain Brook...hardly any non-white face there, upper middle clas and pretty racist to the core), Tennessee (Nashville, Memphis), and yes MS (Southhaven, Jackson, Vicksburg), etc. There are racist areas in other states, Littleton, CO, Hayden, ID, Bergen Park, CO, Evergreen, CO, Huntington Beach, CA, Mesa, AZ, Kingman, AZ...country club racists mostly, but they resent the Asians and Hispanics more than they resent the blacks...all Hispanics are illegals and all Asians are foreigners according to them. Their beef against Asian Americans...they steal all the places in Universities and their women date and marry "our men." Yes, you get a lot of those feelings in churches too...spent some time in Colorado as well. However, they are not violent racists, they are country club racists who want to shut the borders, stop Americans from marrying foreigners, etc....not the same as the vicious killing in MS.

"And they will know we are Christians by our love" goes a hymn...unfortunately they will also know that she is a white American woman by her racism and bigoted remarks...

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2011/08/16/2011-08-16_us_diplomat_enrages_indians_after_calling_ethnic_group_dark_and_dirty_in_speech.html

""I was on a 24-hour trip from Delhi to Orissa. But, after 72 hours, the train still did not reach the destination...and my skin became dirty and dark like the Tamilians," Chao told students,"

And this white woman is married to a Chinese. Tamils are asking that if this is the attitude of a white woman married to a minority, what do you expect of a white Amercian woman who never interacted with a minority!

Continuing the conversation:

Racial Stereotypes and 'The Help':

http://asistasjourney.com/2011/08/16/racial-stereotypes-the-help/

Blessings, Natasha

I plan to see the movie, "The Help" this week, I read the book & as I told everyone it was excellent! Living in the Midwest or the north, like the writer of the article, I too experienced my mother and aunts being "housekeepers" (called instead of maids) " back in the day". I watched from a distance this work. I didn't like it, but it was honest work, to help support their families ( and off their backs me, my sisters, cousins, & other sista friends) were able to further our education, to be school teachers, social workers, CEO's, principles, etc. I saw this in the book! As Christians,we should pray more as Jesus commanded, also, He said love everyone, even our enemies. From more than 2000 years ago til now, we are still dealing with "racism". It's a sin & a shame!

Continuing the Conversation:

'The Help' Get Real! What do your friends look like?

http://asistasjourney.com/2011/08/18/the-help-get-real-what-do-your-friends-look-like/#more-1173

Blessings, Natasha

Hi. I have neither read the book or seen the movie...yet. Thanks for the review. I agree that reconciliation, of all kinds, is desperately needed and only happen as we break down our stereotypes and see the people underneath. I would make one comment that I find unfortunate in this thread. The Bible says we are all the same race...the human race. We have different amounts of melanin in our skin but our race is all the same. We are buying into the whole "racial differences" paradigm before we even begin. Yes, the cultures are different and that makes a difference, but we need to be aware and individually fight to change the status quo. And we fight by not buying in, making friends in any group, regardless of color of skin or culture or any other distinctive. This, as Natasha, has written, is what Jesus did. And we are to be imitators of God, therefore. Blessing to all who are living their lives humbly and transparently to the Glory of God.

'The Help' and "Are the Doors of Your Church Open?"

http://asistasjourney.com/2011/08/23/the-help-and-are-the-doors-of-your-church-open/

Blessings, Natasha Robinson

'The Help' Discussion Reflections: We Are Living Proof

http://asistasjourney.com/2011/08/25/the-help-discussion-reflections-we-are-living-proof/

Blessings, Natasha

I feel a little odd posting here, as I'm not religious (raised Catholic), and I'm an older white male. But a review of the movie of "The Help" on Salon's website, and several web links landed me here. And I read your comments regarding the book\movie and felt the need to comment. I thought they were very well put and I agree wholeheartedly. Real change comes out of the bonds forged between people. Yes, we need the laws and we need the court decisions, but the true cultural change comes through people reaching out to others and making the changes in their own lives

"Reconciliation is the result of intentionally building intimate relationships, one day at a time, with one person at a time."

I couldn't agree more. My mother was religious, and she raised my brothers and sister by herself. She taught us to judge people by one thing - how they treat other people. Period. Not what they said - or what race or religion they were - but how they treated others. And doing what you could for others who needed help, because you could. That was how to live your life. We all try to honor her and live that way.

Not to be too cliche, but we really are the change we've been waiting for. We really do have impact in our own efforts. It seems so much worse than it seemed in the 1970s (like I said, I'm an older white guy - did I mention I'm also gay?) when it seemed that the culture had changed for the better, but it seems to have reversed and we're struggling to get back to that positive, inclusive mind-set of that time.

I'm optomistic when I look at my sister's children (ages 35 to 29) in as much as they seem much more inclusive and these thoughts are even more fundamental to them. Any other "way to be" seems crazy to them. It's encouraging..

Now, we just need to keep all these "young" people voting.

@Kevin thanks for reading and sharing, Kevin.

I just read an excellent blog post concerning the book and racial concerns: "Why 'The Help' Isn't Helpful"

http://www.ranchedonjesus.com/2011/08/why-help-isnt-helpful.html

Blessings, Natasha

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Watching 'The Help' as an African American Woman

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