Hermenuetics

Comments

I think this is a big part of what third-wave feminism is about--valuing the work women (usually) do as inherently worthwhile, affirming and celebrating it. Second-wave feminism was flawed in that it saw women's equality being achieved only by mimicking men and valuing what they (often) value. I'm sorry that there are still people--both those who call themselves feminist and those who are part of mainstream culture--who don't value motherhood and the work of homemaking, but I don't think that message is exclusively, inherently, or even typically feminist.

Posted By: Devon | October 25, 2011 12:19 PM

Wonderful post, Micha! I feel the same way. It's even been hard deciding when to start our family because I'm afraid of how I'll feel if I stay at home, even part-time. Am I not so selfish? I was at a dinner meeting last night, and this successful woman and now full-time mother said she fully believes women can have everything, just not all at the same time. That a simple, yet very refreshing thing to hear! Thanks to aspects of the femenist movement, I can reach for anything. But at the end of the day, I hope what I'm reaching for is what will ultimately give God the glory and not myself.

Posted By: Donelle | October 25, 2011 1:00 PM

I really appreciate what you wrote about valuing all women's work, rather than living for the approval of others. As mothers, we make decisions based on what we discern to be best for us and our families, at that time. Be it staying at home versus working, nursing versus formula, co-sleeping versus not: the choices are endless. It's so easy to want to globalize our decisions into universal judgements, and get caught in the cycle of judging and feeling judged. I am (slowly) learning to let go of comparison & live liberated, free to be myself and to embrace others. Thanks for the encouragement, today!

Posted By: Annie | October 25, 2011 1:20 PM

Women have a stereotype either way. Those who work often look at the stay at home mom as a domestic doormat whose life only revolves around their husband and kids. Those who stay at home don't understand the choices working women make (especially if they HAVE kids) and see them as shirking their God given calling and responsibility.

I love that God gives us grace AND the Holy Spirit to help us form our own convictions.

Posted By: kalynbrooke | October 25, 2011 1:33 PM

I have 4 children. I worked from home after my first was born. I loved that flexibility, but hated it at the same time because if I wasn't with my child then I was working. I worked full time after my 2nd was born. That was hard. I didn't want to, but my family was counting on me. I worked part time after my third was born. When we had our fourth, I looked at my husband and said, "I can't work anymore. We can't even afford to pay the babysitter for me to be able to work." He agreed and we decided to bite the bullet and figure out how to pay bills as they came, and I didn't go back to work. That had been my dream since I was a kid--to be a mom and only a mom.
About a year later, I realized that I was stir crazy. I needed something to do.
I discovered that I needed an outlet, but it didn't need to be a job. I agree that money is not something to scoff at. Especially when we are so short. But we are trusting God to take care of our family. It's hard, but that is our choice.
What I needed was something to do besides playing dolls and making supper and lunch and cleaning the mess in the living room and doing the dishes.
I love that I have time to do these things for my family, but I needed to think about the bigger picture. So I attended a conference about Outreach in our community through our church. And now I'm on the leadership team, and that has made me feel useful as a human and not solely as a mom.

Posted By: Gianna | October 25, 2011 2:26 PM

this is a good post. The only way to get past the stereotyping or anything negative about the choices women make in how they spend their days is for women to band together and embrace our fellow sisters who might have wholly different lives than we do. I go to a small church and I think as far as membership goes, I am the only stay-at-home mom. No, wait. There is one more, an older woman who takes care of her grandchildren. I do some work as a writer but my main job is to be a mom, especially the one child who is homeschooled (the other five go to public school).

Every family is different. Every woman is different. There is no right or wrong answer. There are women in the Bible who worked -- Lydia sold purple cloth. Debra was a mother to Israel in the time of the Judges. Don't tell me no one helped her with family obligations while she was sitting down the palm tree helping others.

But, if we are waiting to get approval from others, it is a long wait. Sometimes we might get it but it is fleeting and hollow and doesn't mean much. If we know that know that we know where we are is where God wants us to be, then that should be enough. What an honor it is to spend all day with a child who you are raising to know Jesus.

The mistakes I've made have been when I didn't rest in where God has placed me. I tried to "fix" our financial lack by struggling and striving to "do my part" for our family. Each time I had this attitude, boy, I made it worse. God is the Great Provider.

OK, sorry -- tangent there. Just be at peace Women. Be where you know God has called you to be. All the work we do is important -- every dish washed, every meeting attended, every diaper changed, every cupcake made for school parties; everything we do wherever we do it should be done for the glory of God.

Posted By: Jane Hinrichs | October 25, 2011 2:43 PM

I never thought I would be a SAHM. In fact, when my husband and I started dating, I was seriously career-driven, and we both thought I would be the bread-winner.

Now here I am. At home. And, like you, I have mixed feelings about it. For the most part, I love it. And I can find many things (creative and practical) to fill the time. On the other hand, I guess a part of me knows it won't be able to last forever. We are not a wealthy family by any means -- probably not even middle class -- and there have just been a few miracles to allow me to be home this year. But someday, I will probably have to return to work. And that really scares me.

Yet I feel like I have a split personality within my own split personality, because when I DO get to work -- at an after school theatre education program for 4 hours each week -- I love it! I love being out of the house doing something I am wired to do. I start to get exciting at the prospect of teaching and working outside the home.

So. As you can tell, I'm split completely on this issue.

I think it's interesting though that the negative stereotypes really depend on what type of group you are around. I have some friends that would look down on me for staying home, and some that would look down on me for working. It's as if a woman just can't win either way.

Good thing we're living and breathing for an audience of One. :)

Posted By: even one sparrow | October 25, 2011 2:54 PM

As Devon said. Third wave feminism rejects some of Friedan's assertions and claims that women should be free to do WHATEVER fulfills them without censure. I suppose as a child of the late 70s I am more of a product of third wave feminism, and it is sometimes difficult for me to understand WHY there is so much angst around the work/don't work issue nor why people attack one another over it.

Being a SAHM is certainly a valid choice, and sometimes an economically wise one. Having a job is also a valid choice, and often an economically wise one (especially with so many people having lost their jobs these days!).

I am a 30-something mom with 2 children that I love with all my heart and a part-time job that I enjoy.

I know that some women still struggle with their choices, with doing what is best for their families and themselves--which encompasses a WIDE range of situations and circumstances. I just so wish that women could come to the place where they are confident and working toward the glory of God regardless of what their situations are.

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." ~Jill Churchill

Posted By: Robyn | October 25, 2011 2:54 PM

The very progression of the name from mother, to homemaker to stay-at-home mom says a lot. The last one is pretty clunky. It implies you simply "stay" somewhere rather than actively raising children. Let's come up with a better label! I support "full-time mom" although that can be a little disheartening for women who have no choice but to work, because they are still mothers even though they have to divide their time.

Also, I know "The Feminine Mystique" get some flak, particularly from people who haven't read it or only hear it as the literature that pushed the women's liberation movement forward. The book is not radical. But it says a lot for the time it was written. Women were EXPECTED in a certain role, and the options were limited. What unfortunately has come of this is the reverse, that women are fortunate enough financially to CHOOSE to raise kids rather than go to a day job may be doing this out of desire to be with their children. There's room enough for more than one option, but the key to The Feminine Mystique is that society should allow women to have those options.

The book points out some interesting things about literature from the 1920s and '30s about women flying airplanes and involved in adventures, commonly found in women's magazines. By the 1950s, the magazines barely had much fiction, most focused on how to articles about the household, raising children, choosing china patterns. The fiction that continued was more about love stories and getting married. The culture shifted so that women were barely supported in DREAMING of another life other than child rearing and having a pot roast ready for Mr. Jones when came home from the office.

There's definitely a shift back toward full time child rearing by college educated women. I know a lot of women in my age range (late 20s- 30s) who are quitting their jobs to raise kids at home. It's great to have the option.

Posted By: Stephanie Scott | October 25, 2011 4:46 PM

Micha, great post. The idea that any of us are "just" anything grates on me, whether it's "just a stay at home mom" or "just a kid" or "just an amateur" or "just human" or whatever. We are children of God, and you don't get any better than that for crying out loud!

[Now smoothing my hair down, unclenching my fists, taking deep breaths]

C.S. Lewis once pointed out that none of us have ever met a mere mortal. We are eternal creatures, every single one of us. For those of us who will spend eternity in God's presence, whatever he has us doing here and now in preparation for eternity is of eternal significance, eternally important. The psalmist put it well in Psalm 84:10 - "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

Mom is as lofty a job title as any in God's kingdom.

Tim

Posted By: Tim | October 25, 2011 4:48 PM

EVERY mom is a "full time mom." There is no point during the day at which one ceases to be a mother.

How about just getting rid of the labels altogether?

Posted By: Robyn | October 25, 2011 5:56 PM

Thoughtful post, Micha. Labels are confining and unfortunate and choices about working outside the home (or not) should be left to the individuals involved. As some of your commenters have noted, those choices can shift from year to year, from child to child.

As someone who was raising children during the rise of second wave feminism, I can testify to this: I was a college graduate with a mind in relatively good working order. I chose to stay at home rather than work outside it. We had 3 kids in 4 years and I frequently felt overwhelmed and inadequate during the years they were in our home. I also felt blessed and grateful. Then I went to seminary at midlife and had the privilege of becoming a working woman after my children were raised and married. So I've worked both inside and outside the home - but never attempted both at the same time. I have nothing but admiration for those who do.

Both of my daughters and my daughter-in-law currently work outside their homes. One was a full-time SAHM until she was widowed 3 years ago, one was a part time worker until her youngest went to kindergarten, the other has always been part-time. They all work so hard to keep life in balance - and sometimes it is and sometimes it ain't. That's the way of things. A fairly large part of their decision making process has been economics - something I never had to face.

But the dis-ease with the choice is so very familiar to me! I felt constantly torn in the 70's by every single magazine article that told me I was 'wasting myself' hanging out with little people and being a room mom or a community/church volunteer. It wasn't easy then - and it isn't easy now. BUT I do believe the pendulum is beginning its swing back to center and that there is a bit more tolerance for those who choose to work in their home rather than outside it. I hope to goodness we can get to the place where we trust one another to make the choices that we believe God is asking of us, in our very particular situations, and that we can resist the temptation to judge another whose choice is different than ours.

Posted By: Diana Trautwein | October 25, 2011 9:33 PM

I agree with Robyn. We are all full-time mothers, inside and outside of the home. Whether it's a first tooth, first concussion or a first kiss, we ALL have to be mothers, regardless of "status." I am supportive of all mothers, regardless because we ALL need prayer, support and encouragement while raising children. I reject the "Mommy Wars" rhetoric because it is completely unhelpful to moms, dads and kids. I have worked inside and outside the home at various stages of my children's lives and seen the whole picture. I think we should pledge to love and support each other. We are all in the Mommy thing together! God Bless you all!

Posted By: Anonymous | October 26, 2011 9:02 AM

Great post. I enjoyed reading and I agree that we need to value women's work, whatever it's nature.

I can't help but feel gratitude toward the women's movement in my privileged position where I can move in and out of the domestic and working spheres as I please. What I mean is, I am working now, but when my first is born next year, I can stay at home. If I wanted to, I could find childcare and go back to work. Or I could wait until the child goes to school and then work. I feel I have the best of both worlds - I absolutely love my job and I know it is what I was wired to do, but I look forward to spending time with a little one as well and teaching her/him all I know.

In my life I am able to perform both roles, and that is not something women in every generation - or in every class or country, for that matter - is or has been able to do. This ability to transition back and forth makes staying at home easier to "accept." Not to devalue full-time homemakers (my mom was one), but when you love your job you feel like you are "giving it up."

Posted By: Nadine | October 26, 2011 10:26 AM

I appreciate the "full time mom" comments. You know the same thing goes for dads, right?

Tim

Posted By: Tim | October 26, 2011 11:00 AM

All true, and yet... This genre of the professional woman choosing to raise her kids at home over-represents a minority.

I realize lots of believers struggle with the perceptions of society, their own ambitions and the mixed legacy of feminism, yet how many others always wanted to stay at home to raise their children? They may be educated and hard working, but they also never agonized over the career/family choice. The voice of such women - perhaps a silent majority - are lost because a more select but more articulate set of mothers have access to professional outlets like this one.

Feminism did a lot of good and raised a lot of tensions, but it also silenced the many women whose aspiration was never to "have it all." Unfortunately, taught to cultivate their personal voices and experiences only, too many Christian writers replicate this clear bias.

Posted By: RedWell | October 26, 2011 12:13 PM

I get the desire to feel vindicated and celebrated. But everyone wants that, and more than what they have if they are getting it. The stay at home want to be celebrated for their sacrifice, the working want to be celebrated for their balance and super-momness. Most Dad's just want to be acknowledged that they aren't complete imbeciles and actually participate in child rearing, even if they have different priorities than the mom.

I get celebrated a bit because I am a stay at home uncle. I am the nanny for the last four years for my nieces. I really do get the fact that I am making a choice to do this and to do it both for my sister-in-law and her husband and for my nieces. I have a choice and others do not always have the choices I have.

But at some point I feel like we all just need to get over ourselves and acknowledge that children do not celebrate us for being good parents. That is not what they do, they are children, self centered and needy. That is why they need parents. So if you need some validation go get it in some healthy way. Just dont' look for it from your kids, probably not from your spouse and probably not from others that are just like you.

Posted By: ADam Shields | October 26, 2011 1:26 PM

Thank you for your insight. Hopefully each married Christian couple makes the best decision for their family after seeking God's direction.

We must however, stress the importance of our girls getting a good college degree whether they decide to marry/have children or not. I know several Chrstian women that invested their lives in their family only to have their Christian husbands leave them. They did not have a formal education & the financial burden was great.

Posted By: chickadee94 | October 26, 2011 2:12 PM

Love this post! I would go one step further: let's stop calling the homemaking, kid-raising, staying-at-home business "women's work". My husband is a stay-at-home dad by choice, and he does a fantastic job at it, but he definitely gets the brunt of the sexist view that only women can do a good job at home or raising kids. Let's choose to value ALL those who do the hard and glorious job of being stay-at-home parents, whether they're men or women.

Posted By: jan | October 26, 2011 3:24 PM

One thing to consider about the SAHM vs working mom: IF we are fortunate to have a choice here (and I know many are not and no guilt if that's your situation), the choice isn't about us moms. It's about our kids and what will serve them best. It's about our kids and what will make them the most balanced, thoughtful and godly adults they can become. IF we have the luxury of choice, it's important to remember that life is long. There is time for a career for the last twenty-thirty years of our lives if we choose to stay home with our kids. Life is seasonal. And there are many ways to stay vital and involved in life even when wiping noses and fixing dinners.

Posted By: Gayle Roper | October 26, 2011 3:56 PM

Jane Hinrichs' comment hit the nail on the head: there is no right answer, every family and every woman is different, so go do what God calls you to do whether it's in the home or not. We're all called to obey God above the opinions of others.

Posted By: P. | October 26, 2011 7:06 PM

This article nails the angst so many women face. As a SAHM of the second wave, I received pressure, internally and externally, to work outside the home while I had very small children, and so experienced the same inner struggles this author articulates. It was so unnecessary. I hope young SAHMs can shed the pressure and enjoy their meaningful positions.

Posted By: Marianne | October 26, 2011 7:18 PM

Everyone has to make their own decision about how they will manage motherhood. Some people have more choices than others.

I feel blessed to have been able to focus most of my time on raising our children while they were growing up. In addition to the joy of getting to spend so much time with them, I have no regrets that I could have done more or made them more of a priority.

It never mattered to me that our culture did not validate what I was doing. Even my family thought I was making a mistake to give up focus on a promising career to raise my boys.

Now that they are grown up, I am able to pursue other interests, including a career, as well as enjoy having adult children whose lives enrich mine but no longer dominate it.

Posted By: Suzy | October 27, 2011 7:33 AM

As others have said, the only "right" answer is what is best for your family, what God has called your family to do. I gave up a professional career (I am an RN) when my second (of five) was born. Now that they are grown, I have had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot return to the career I left behind. I've also realized that I have made a career out of child-rearing! In addition to raising our own children we took in foster children, international refugees (the "Lost Boys of Sudan"), exchange students, and some of "our own" children are adopted. Today, as I get closer to retirement, we are in our 30th year of foster care, I have the privilege of babysitting my grandchilren two days a week (ironically so their mothers can go to work), I am the guardian of my severely disabled brother, and I am raising our last child who is still at home, an adopted son with special needs. It doesn't bring in much money, but the rewards are huge! I also have seen this as my ministry because I hope we have impacted the lives of the many children who have passed through our home. Do I get any respect from the community or the church? Not really. I'm afraid they see me as lazy because I "just sit home all day". (I really work hard, I really do!!) But this is where God has placed me and while I do miss my profession, I am quite happy where I am. By the way, my husband and other nurses tell me there isn't much respect out in the workplace these days either.

Posted By: jean | October 27, 2011 9:02 AM

This is such a tired subject. With teen daughters now, all I can say is take your vitamins and do your best, mom. It doesn't have to do with working or not working, because life can put you in situations that take you out of the workplace or put you right back in it.

Posted By: Cindy | October 27, 2011 5:35 PM

@Jean, Wow! I know of a few people who have lived the way you have, and all of you are some of my biggest heroes! I'm so thankful that God has gifted you and others for this very special ministry of foster care and adoption and caregiving. And yes, I agree wholeheartedly that this is a very real- and very needed- ministry.

Posted By: Janet | October 27, 2011 9:50 PM

As a working woman with no children, I probably don't have a "right" to comment on this, but I will anyway. :)

I think being a SAHM or whatever you want to call it is great. I have a lot of respect for women who choose (if they have the option) to do so.

However...

I see an underlying bad attitude in my generation (late 20s) of SAHMs. Many I know complain incessantly about their children - but will not tolerate anything other than high praise from outsiders. Moan about how messy their homes are - but spend all day on the computer. Hate the hours their husbands work - but spend money wildly. Get frustrated when their children won't go to sleep at a decent time - but sleep in quite late. Talk constantly about needing "girl time" - but cry when their husbands want to go to a Bible study for men.

Before anyone gets upset and accuses me of making things up, please, trust me. I'm not.

I see a huge lack of self-discipline and a desire to be applauded just for getting their kids dressed. I, of course, can't comment on that because I don't know how "hard" it is. I'm sure it is hard to be around toddlers all day long and find ways to entertain and teach them. I'm sure that there are moments when you want to scream and you long for adult conversation.

But...

My boss won't pat me on the hand if I don't meet deadlines. If my work space is a disaster. If I take the company credit card and go buy a car. I don't get a trophy for getting my tasks done.

I don't know if I'm making any sense, and I'm sure I'm offending somebody. My mom stayed at home with us, and I'm glad she did. I just can't remember her ever acting in such a way. The house was tidy and we had as much of a routine as is possible with children. What's the difference between generations?

Posted By: Marie | October 28, 2011 7:24 PM

I like your input, María, about 20-something mothers who complain about their kids and mothering tasks. I'm guessing they were quite spoiled as children, within a build-self-esteem-don't-deprive-your-child parenting mentality.

I got to mother 4 children during a time when it was still NORMAL to not work away from home. Our children could count on us to be there and to focus on them when they needed attention. In my European neighborhood, the majority of the mothers enjoyed freedom from job task-masters without being looked-down-on. We managed our own time, made our own purchasing decisions, had hobbies, and, if we WANTED to, became involved in community projects. I was plenty busy with ministry opportunities. We answered to no bosses. Our "coffee breaks" could last an hour if we wanted. We could visit friends, go see our parents, take our kids on outings...

I watched the "women's lib" effect occur, observing as women became liberated to work, while "homemaking" was being devalued. I'm all for equal pay & equal job opportunities, but over all it seems that women and families have been disadvantaged rather than improved.

So I'm glad that the "pendulum is swinging" back. I want to honor mothers who have full-time jobs when it's necessary. And I want to honor women who dedicate their time to their home and family and to others. And may God give grace and strength to my sisters who need to handle both.

Posted By: Sharon | October 29, 2011 5:35 AM

I think that often, Christian women are the hardest on one another. Just look at the extremity of literature on this very subject amongst Christian circles.

I've found myself struggling in the opposite direction. As a SAHM my entire parenting 'career'(12 years) homeschooling for the majority of it (8 years), I find myself feeling guilty over pursuing personal endeavors. I long to express myself outside the confines of family and earn money myself rather than burden my husband every time I want something for the house, my wardrobe, etc. I'm still at home, still homeschooling. But, even just rearranging our school schedule or telling my kids, "No, I'm not doing X,Y,Z. I have to work on such and such writing project," causes me inner ranking and heartburn.

Somehow, I don't think this should be. Especially, when I know my efforts are supported and encouraged by my husband and approved by God.

Thanks, Micha, for bringing continued dialogue to this topic.

Posted By: Shari Dragovich | October 29, 2011 4:34 PM

Sharon and Maria - I am one of those SAHMs you are judging so thoroughly. I was not raised spoiled but very literally neglected. I'm talking being left home alone on sick days, with a fever and a list of chores, at the age of 8. Having to watch my 4 years younger sister in the chaotic mess of our home after school every day and once a week starting at the age of 10. This might have worked ok, maybe, if I had been allowed any responsibility, instead of literally begging (and being denied) to wash the dishes in 4th grade, or if I had any community support, but we were taught to fear our neighbors as people who would potentially report us to CPS. I wasn't allowed outside, let alone to walk the half-mile to the library or park.
I was within a half-point of being valedictorian of my 300+ graduating class, my parents sat in the front row at church. By every standard church metric, I was a good kid with a bright future. I've been so well loved at every job I've had that people have offered to keep me on somehow across two cross country moves.
If I were in a full time career none of my weaknesses would be exposed. I know this from experience. Instead, as a SAHM *every* one of them is, on a daily basis.
It's a hard thing to learn everything from scratch alone, and the superiority complex like the one you're demonstrating makes it very difficult to ask.

Posted By: Anonymous | October 30, 2011 1:41 PM

Edit for above: should say watching sister till well after dark once a week and to clarify the chore lists I would get while sick were always finishing off something my parents had left undone, like laundry in the dryer to be folded. My parents couldn't be bothered to teach us a useful set of chores that would actually help run the family because we didn't do it to their standards on the first try.

Posted By: Anonymous, with edit | October 30, 2011 1:48 PM

Obviously, Micha's post has touched on a challenge that many Christian mothers struggle with. Thank you for initiating this conversation, and for all those who have responded.

Beginning in the Fall of 2010, I began teaching full-time at a nearby community college where I had taught part-time for many years. My children were 9 and 10 at that time, and when I applied, I wasn't expecting to actually be offered the position. But, after much prayer, I sensed that
God had opened this door and accepted the invitation. And so began a season of my life that's been both fulfilling and challenging in ways I did not anticipate. Although my sense is that my jobs both in and out of the home are my calling, the responsibilities I've been given often cause
me to feel I'm doing everything poorly.

What's different about my situation than what I see in others' comments is that nearly all my friends are SAHMs. I certainly don't feel pressure from them to follow in their footsteps. They have been nothing but gracious and encouraging, despite the differences in how we feel called.

However, I do have a constant feeling of being alone in this venture, and I long for a mentor--someone who also feels called to work outside as well as in the home. Someone who would be willing to provide guidance and to pray alongside me as I try to navigate what feels like completely uncharted territory.

I'd like to say that my relationship with God or my husband provides exactly what I need, but (unfortunately), that has not been the case yet.

So, I'd love to know what resources have been helpful to mothers and wives who also feel called to step outside the realm of the home. Where do you find encouragement, support, guidance, friendship?

Posted By: Anne | October 31, 2011 9:47 AM

Anonymous (with and without edit!), thank you for adding another perspective on where some stay-at-home-moms may be coming from. Everyone is different, and this is true from generation to generation stretching back as long as anyone cares to look. The idea that the present cohort of SAHMs is whiny and selfish and spoiled to a degree exceeding previous generations is something I have never seen myself, and I've seen a lot of SAHM families.

In fact, my wife has a ministry of sorts with SAHMs; they see her and the fact that our kids are now in college and they want to learn from her experience. I guess it helps that many of these women have been in Bible studies my wife has taught or facilitated. This menotoring has been going on for years now, with new moms reaching out for help as other families grow older. There is nothing whiny, selfish or spoiled about their desire to get help in learning how to be better moms, or just to find some encouragement in the daunting task of being a parent.

So I guess what I'm saying is please keep asking. It's hard to try to do everything from scratch, as you said, but there are people who want to help you. Seriously, there are people who want to help you, anonymous! I'm praying God will bring you and one (or more!) of those people together.

Tim

Posted By: Tim | October 31, 2011 12:53 PM

I greatly appreciated this. I have felt this struggle so many times and I have never even been a SAHM, yet. I say yet, because as we have more children and they get older things seem to get even MORE complicated with me working. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it, but also wonder how I would be able to manage being at home. I don't feel I'm wired that way at all.

Posted By: Joy | November 2, 2011 8:20 AM

I am "just" a volunteer librarian and sometimes humiliated by not getting paid for it. But then I remember that divorce lawyers are one of the higher paid professions...

There is nothing dishonorable about being a stay-at-home mom, and occupational snobbery is not only snobbish, it is irrational.

Posted By: jason taylor | December 31, 2011 1:39 PM