Hermenuetics

Comments

Thank you for sharing a bit of your story, Jessica. I'm particularly interested in the fact that all of the women you know who've left the life have issues with food. My usual area of interest is food and faith, but today I wrote a response to Daniel Walker's God in a Brothel (http://eatwithjoy.org/2011/11/02/god-in-a-brothel/) which is about trafficking. I had NO IDEA of the connection between porn and trafficking. Thank you for opening our eyes.

Posted By: Rachel Stone | November 2, 2011 12:18 PM

This is a powerful article. Thank you Jessica for your honesty. Oh, that every single Christian man and woman read this. I think in some places pornography is just not spoken about because it isn't looked at as that bad...but it is. It is horrific. Every person in those pictures is someone's baby. Every person part of it is a person cherished by God.

Jessica, I'm going to pray that God somehow can get the pictures of your past destroyed. God can do this. He's bigger than anything.

Posted By: jane Hinrichs | November 2, 2011 1:05 PM

It is not just sexually abused young women who are exploited in this manner; we need to be aware of this and be ready to protect our daughters, as predator pimps play on weaknesses of young girls, including but certainly not limited to prior sexual experience/abuse.

Posted By: Annie | November 2, 2011 1:07 PM

Jessica, thanks so much for sharing some of your story. Even though I've known about sex trafficking for a long time, I had never made the connection between pornography and trafficking until I recently saw the documentary "Sex + Money" (which I highly recommend for those wanting to understand sex trafficking in the U.S. vs. international). The simple economics of trafficking, supply and demand, are sickening, and because it is such an entrenched and lurid problem it can seem hopeless to fix. I was encouraged by your story, the documentary, and the many nonprofits in my area who are fighting tooth and nail to preserve dignity and respect for women who have been abused or trafficked.

Posted By: Anna Knight | November 2, 2011 1:48 PM

... and more and more, in today's world, boys as well!

Posted By: Regular Reader | November 2, 2011 1:56 PM

Rachel...I had the same response...to pray for the destruction of those internet images. My sins are fairly easy to put behind me...there is little physical evidence. The existence of those images as a continual reminder is a heavy burden for all the women in Jessica's position to bear. It's a miracle that would be welcomed by many. God promises to remove our transgressions as far as the east is from the west. I know this is not a promise there will be no consequences of our sin, but it also shows me that God's heart is for us to experience the freedom of his amazing grace. I'm praying for you Jessica.

Posted By: Christine | November 2, 2011 2:00 PM

Christine, I know you meant well with your post, but we need to be careful how we phrase things. A girl who is abused, forced into slavery and pornography is not sinning in my book. She is a victim of others' sin. The memories and the fact that they are potentially out there forever are bad enough, but if we then start making the victims to blame it compounds those negative feelings. Just a thought.

Posted By: Mark E. | November 2, 2011 3:31 PM

First: Jessica. thank you for your honesty and courage. These are stories the church (and the non-churched) need to hear.

Second: Mark E, thank you for your comment. As a victim of childhood sexual abuse coupled with spiritual abuse in the home and church, it has been a constant struggle to recognize that being abused sexually is not a sin - especially for a child (but also for anyone who is victimized).

When I was ten, an 18 year old neighbor took pictures of me to take with him as he joined the Navy. Although this is nowhere near as bad as what Jessica has to deal with (no one is likely to recognize me from those photos), it still makes my feel sick when I think about those photos still being out there - being used...I would hope no one would say the existence of those photos was due to my 'sin'...

Posted By: Katherine Gunn | November 2, 2011 4:17 PM

thank you for sharing your story.

Posted By: Jenn | November 2, 2011 5:03 PM

This needed to be written; lots of men, and even I think some women now, struggle with issues around pornography. It's portrayed as light-hearted and 'just a bit of a laugh' for lads who are drinking together, but the hidden reality of this world is far more harsh and brutal.

A Christian, if they have such issues, should ask God into that part of their lives, as I myself am doing at this time. It's still an issue for me, but not a big issue anymore; it rears its ugly head from time to time, and I ask God to help me to come to terms with the feelings I have. He made us, He knows what makes us tick, and He knows us better than we know ourselves; so, we need His help.

Posted By: Tim Childs | November 2, 2011 5:12 PM

Every time I read an article about pornography and trafficking, my heart aches and my soul cries. This is so, so sad. But praise God for the ways He redeems, and that Jessica is continuing to share her testimony.

Posted By: rachel - even one sparrow | November 2, 2011 5:58 PM

I'm so sick of this pushing sex into every ones face and now they're doing it in our schools. NYCity schools are teaching kids how to do sex, all kinds of sex using the excuse it will teach kids to not do sex because saying no doesn't work. The websites the kids are being sent to for studying are pure porn which tells me these "boys" running the school education system are porn users themselves and want to convince young girls sex is to be given out and to young boys they have the right to take sex. Of course this is all preparing the kids for thinking stuff like porn and trafficking is acceptable. Parents need to start stopping these lovers of porn and trafficking like the major of NYCity because he's approving and promoting this trafficking of any way sex in the schools.

Posted By: original anna | November 2, 2011 9:14 PM

There were two things - one in the interview, one in the comments - I think need some discussion.

In the interview, as part of the answer to the last question.
"We are kidding ourselves if we think that men can just stop."

I strongly disagree. Men can stop looking at pornography; it's no different than any other sin, a matter of willpower, reason and faith. It almost sounds as an excuse for men to act as monsters, and that's absolutely not the case.

Original Anna
NYCity schools are teaching kids how to do sex, all kinds of sex using the excuse it will teach kids to not do sex because saying no doesn't work.

Except that telling kids no doesn't work. In my entire life, I've met one - *one* - person that remained a virgin after college; he has a social anxiety disorder, and hasn't been on a date in close to 15 years.

"True Love Waits" is a great concept, but the fact of the matter is that it's very rare - and when it does happen, it frequently drives people to marry one of the first people they start dating. (Not that's always a bad thing, mind you; I've been happily married to my first for 12 years.. but we also didn't wait until marriage, we waited until engagement.)

Abstinence-only education does not work in this culture, and I suspect it doesn't work in most other cultures. Look at the teen pregnancy rates; the five states with the highest rates of teen pregnancy are also all abstinence-only education states.

Now, this isn't to say that abstinence education isn't important, or that free reign must be given to those that are trying to teach kids how to have safe sex; reasonable rules and guidelines need to be used. But the only thing abstinence only education has achieved is an increase in the number of abortions, malformed children and teen mothers.

(And for the record - since someone's sure to ask - I'm pro-life.)

Posted By: Newly Karen | November 3, 2011 10:30 AM

Newly Karen, thanks for raising some good points. You stated "Men can stop looking at pornography; it's no different than any other sin, a matter of willpower, reason and faith. It almost sounds as an excuse for men to act as monsters ... ."

I think this is sometimes true and sometimes not. The research I've read shows that porn and some related sexual behavior can actually modify the brain's chemistry so that a person ends up truly physically addicted to the porn or other behavior. Of course, if it has not resulted in this brain change then God's help in exercising willpower is the appropriate response to these desires; but once the brain's chemistry is modified it can take a lot more than mere willpower to stop the behavior.

In either case, though, we can both agree that no one should use the circumstance "as an excuse for men to act as monsters." There is never a good reason to engage in sin, addiction or not. It's a matter of how we address the sinful behavior and not try to rationalize it away.

Happily, Jesus offers forgiveness ("neither do I condemn you") as well as an admonishment ("go and sin no more"). What a wonderful Savior!

Tim

Posted By: Tim | November 3, 2011 11:09 AM

Tim
Happily, Jesus offers forgiveness ("neither do I condemn you") as well as an admonishment ("go and sin no more"). What a wonderful Savior!

Amen!

I think this is sometimes true and sometimes not. The research I've read shows that porn and some related sexual behavior can actually modify the brain's chemistry so that a person ends up truly physically addicted to the porn or other behavior. Of course, if it has not resulted in this brain change then God's help in exercising willpower is the appropriate response to these desires; but once the brain's chemistry is modified it can take a lot more than mere willpower to stop the behavior.

And this is true - but people quit smoking all the time, or quit caffeine, or quit drinking, or whatever. It's not just a matter of willpower, it's also a matter of faith and reason - finding a reason to not do it, having the faith to surrender, and the willpower to resist.

In either case, though, we can both agree that no one should use the circumstance "as an excuse for men to act as monsters." There is never a good reason to engage in sin, addiction or not. It's a matter of how we address the sinful behavior and not try to rationalize it away.

Indeed. Most sin feels fantastic and is very easy to rationalize - otherwise, we wouldn't call it temptation.

Posted By: Newly Karen | November 3, 2011 11:29 AM

Newly Karen, your final sentence made me smirk for a completely irrelevant (and possibly irreverent) reason but my mind immediately jumped to the line, "I couldn't help it. I can resist everything except temptation."

Cheers,
Tim

P.S. Bonus points for citing the source.

P.P.S. Double points for doing so without relying on the web.

Posted By: Anonymous | November 3, 2011 11:57 AM

Tim, this probably isn't the right source since I don't think it has the "I couldn't help it" part, but I believe there is a Rush song that has the line, "I can resist everything except temptation." :-) The only reason I know that is because of my prog rock hubby. He could tell you the name of the song. :-)

Posted By: Jennifer O | November 3, 2011 12:09 PM

Newly Karen,

Thanks for not wanting to excuse men to act like monsters. Great point. But in the majority of your post, you seem to excuse men and women (and boys and girls) to act like nymphomaniacs.

I'm surprised and disappointed that your experience and reporting is so skewed, and that no one else has commented on what you say.

My wife and I resisted temptations and were virgins when we wed. I know a significant number of people in church who have similar experiences. My 4 children are virgins, and are committed to waiting until marriage. None of us have social anxiety disorder.

Rather than making your premarital sex normative for our culture and others, why not confess it as sin and tell those around you of a better way through Jesus?

Posted By: Brian | November 3, 2011 12:43 PM

Newly Karen, I remained a virgin past college and until the age of 29 when I married, as did *all* of my friends. Perhaps it matters a great deal who you hang around with? I know several people in their 50s who are virgins. We don't all just give in to sexual temptation and sin, sorry.

Posted By: Kim | November 3, 2011 12:51 PM

Perhaps my personal experience is skewed. On the other hand, a lot of those that claim to be virgins aren't; my parents only learned I lost my virginity pre-marriage last year.

Note also that I'm not talking about us "all giving in to sexual temptation and sin" - I'm talking about making sure that those that do, know how to handle it properly. Abstinence is the only good way, it's the only (near) 100% foolproof way, but when it fails - it fails utterly.

We have the Catholic Church preaching against the use of condoms in Africa and other 3rd-world nations, allowing the nearly free spread of HIV - frequently by rape, because for some reason people seem to think it's better to rape than to rape with a condom. We have people here in the US standing against the idea of teaching about responsible sex, ignoring the fact that many of the states that use abstinence-only education (Mississippi, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico) have both lower than national average condom usage and the highest pregnancy rates.

We can teach that we should find a better way through Jesus, and that works for some. What about for the non-Christians, those weak in their faith, those weak in their flesh or that otherwise fail to live up to the ideal?

I'm not excusing people to act like nymphomaniacs. It's still wrong to have pre-marital or extra-marital sex. I allowed myself to believe that we were different - and that's my failure. What I'm saying is that ignoring the fact that our children don't know what to do to protect themselves when they *do* fail is counterproductive at best, like telling a kid "here's the key to my motorcycle, here's how you drive it, now don't touch... but if you do, don't wear a helmet".

Posted By: Newly Karen | November 3, 2011 1:30 PM

Newly Karen, thank you for your transparency. I appreciate so much what you've said. All ANY of us have is our personal experience, plus how God's Spirit works within us to conform us to His image. So here's mine: I am a 50+ year-old female, happily married for 28 years, a Christian since age 8. For the past few years I've been leading women in my church in discussions on healthy intimacy. There is such a need for these conversations, and I wish every church had someone bold enough to start them. Most of the women I've talked to -- and these are all strong Christian women -- were not virgins when they married. Neither was I. And the few who held on to their virginity entered marriage with a different sort of baggage -- feeling sex was dirty or shameful since they'd been taught purity means staying away from sex. We are ALL working through our issues and finding wholeness as God redeems our minds.

That's the trap of porn as well... the hold it takes on our minds. Women are vulnerable to it too, especially those exposed to it as children, like me. But I believe and have experienced that God can make all things new. I'm so grateful for the work He's done in me and in my group. Someday that may become a book. For now, I'm writing about it on my blog, http://lifeinabody.wordpress.com/, and using the curriculum in my church.

For the conversation you've started here, it seems we need a new and honest way to present sex to young people. One that gives them a standard to aim for without loading them down with guilt if they are less than perfect. And groups within every church where we can have honest, open discussions without feeling shame. We have to overcome our fear that talking about it will just feed the desire. The desire's already there, and the risk of it overflowing the banks is even greater if we have no place we can be transparent and receive grace.

Has anyone read "Sex and the Soul?" Or "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God?" I recommend those to every parent, youth leader, and singles minister I know. In them you'll find an honest look at what young people are up against and the choices they're making, on both Christian and secular campuses. It seems clear that a new approach could help validate the amazing gift God intended sex to be. And perhaps give them more reason to wait for True Love. Thanks for continuing the discussion!

Posted By: Leslea | November 3, 2011 3:08 PM

I would argue that guilt is normal and good for some activities - but shouldn't be used to drive people away. I just really don't like the attitude that STDs and pregnancies are, to more politely paraphrase a friend, what you get for what you got.

Posted By: Newly Karen | November 3, 2011 3:35 PM

Tim

I'm guessing Oscar Wilde. And my second choice is Mark Twain.

Posted By: lane | November 3, 2011 5:13 PM

You got it lane! Lacy Windermere's Fan, Act 1. Nice job.

Tim

Posted By: Tim | November 3, 2011 5:21 PM

Thank you, Jessica, for sharing your story. The power of sin is in its secrecy. I pray that God will place His special hand of protection upon you as you bring this horror into the light!

Posted By: Marie | November 4, 2011 9:36 PM

I read this article - which was excellent - and moved on and then had to come back and make this observation which is based on the comments and not the article.

I'm someone who "waited" until I was married at age 30 - and I just experienced the same awful feelings reading through these comments that I battled for my single years in my teens and 20s. Feeling like my lack of sexual experience was abnormal, naive, and something to be smirked at or winked about behind my back. If I had also read (on a Christian blog) that I was going to have sexual issues whether I waited (sex is dirty) or not (guilt), I would have been even more tempted to throw in the towel - or throw off the clothes! Why bother trying to fight this hard battle then?

If a virgin can't find respect in the Christian community, odds are she's not going to find it anywhere...

Isn't there some way that we can find a balance in our approach to sexual experience, without this constant need to declare one way or the other "normal"? Can't the church affirm and encourage those who manage to wait until marriage, without focusing negative attention on those who don't - for whatever reason?

So here's a reality check and hopefully some encouragement for anyone who is still "waiting" (that's an awfully passive verb for something that takes so much effort). It's true that I waited and it's also true that I brought my own sexual baggage into an imperfect marriage. I have often questioned why I put so much energy into waiting if I was just going to end up struggling in this area, anyway. Yes, part of the reason I decided not to have premarital sex was because I thought my marriage might be happier or stronger if I waited. But the other reason was that I was trying my hardest to be faithful to what God had asked me to do. Yes, it was hard - and I believe there was some divine intervention that helped me through some tricky spots. And no, my marriage has not been especially easy, although it has been good. But, looking back, would I choose to fight the "waiting" battle again? Realizing now that there are no guarantees about marriage, I would still choose to wait. But I would make that decision simply because I believe that's what He would want me to do - regardless. And really, isn't that reason enough?

Just needed to put these thoughts out there.

ps and a huge thank-you to Mark for gently pointing out to Christine that when someone has been exploited, they have been taken advantage of - they are the victim, not the sinner.

Posted By: Kristina | November 5, 2011 1:00 AM

Thanks you Jessica for sharing your powerful story. @ Kristina, praise God for your testimony! I can kind of relate to your statement about feeling like even Christians seemed not to support you in you choice to remain pure. I was a virgin at 23 when I married, my husband wasn't. But he waited for me because he wanted to obey God by pursuing purity after he got saved.
On another note, I think it is dangerous to teach young people that keeping their virginity is near impossible and that their hormones are too powerful to overcome. At the same time, as parents we need to assure our children that we will always love them and be there for them if they happen to find themselves in a fix or make bad decisions. Sometimes all the kids get is a threat- lose your virginty/get pregnant and you're OUT of my house... No wonder they abort secretly, or run straight into the arms of someone more accepting/loving/redemptive, someone who 'understands' them. We need to talk more openly with our kids about sex- the good, the bad and the ugly. We need to tell them about the beauty of purity and also the redemption of Christ if they repent after falling. Let's not give up trying to reach out to our kids, praying for them and modelling Christ's love and life.
I wonder about the role that the fathers play in most of the girls/women who find themselves sexually exploited. Not to lay blame, but I think it goes without saying that a close, healthy and loving relationship with a father or father figure has preventative measures against such ills.

Posted By: Anonymous | November 5, 2011 5:39 AM

We need to talk more openly with our kids about sex- the good, the bad and the ugly. We need to tell them about the beauty of purity and also the redemption of Christ if they repent after falling. Let's not give up trying to reach out to our kids, praying for them and modelling Christ's love and life.

Exactly! This is what I was getting at, I'm just terrible at phrasing it. And for the record, my earlier mention of someone being a virgin and having a social disorder didn't have virgin = social disorder, he has a ton of issues with socialization that makes staying a virgin rather easier for him.

Posted By: Newly Karen | November 6, 2011 9:25 AM

It depends on what age you think "kids" need to be told "everything" about sex. Most homosexuals and transgenders, etc seem to want their homosexual agenda pushed on little 5 year olds, or even younger, who often don't even know the difference between boys and girls, except for maybe hair length. They need to be told to not let anyone touch them in their private parts, to not talk to strangers, and to scream and run away if a stranger tries to take their hand and walk away with them, etc. They don't need to know all the gritty details of life at such a young age, and it's just one of the reasons I'm very against them adopting children. Many don't seem to actually care about the child, but just want to indoctrinate children as soon as they can.

As a typical way of thinking, in the very early 60s, I thought WW2 was about 100 years in the past, even though my father had fought in it, and he was about 35 at the time. Kids just do not think like adults, and there is no need to take away their innocence so that you can feel better about yourself with a whole generation of brainwashed people who don't know the word of God. You don't need to worry, the vast majority of parents tell their children the sexual things they need to know as they grow up, at age appropriate times, which the heterosexual parent is the best to judge.

Posted By: Kim | November 6, 2011 3:36 PM

Great article that helps put a human face to the horrible effects of pornography and the sex industry as a whole, which, I consider to be one of the worse, if not the worst, silent killers of families and relationships, to say the least.

Pornography is an addiction, as it can change a brain chemistry. According to the book Every Man's Battle by Craig Gross and Steven Luff, "every year that a teeneager is kept from his or her first exposure to a drug, like marijuana or alcohol, there is a 5 percent reduction, per year, in the risk of long-term addiction".
As a victim of this addiction, my humble advice for anyone who is struggling is to not fight alone. Jesus does not want you to rely on willpower alone, but on the support of the church and those who love you.

To learn more, support the fight, or find tackle this sin in your life I recommend the following:

Web Source:
http://www.xxxchurch.com/
Provides tools to tackle porn addiction.
http://www.celebraterecovery.com
Helps you locate a faith-based support group
http://www.thepinkcross.org
Is an anti-porn ministry founded by Shelley Lubben, an ex-porn star, and born-again Christian.

Great reads
http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2011/07/my_father_was_a_porn_addict.html
http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0001256.cfm (Part 1)
http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0001265.cfm (Part 2)

Books:
Facing the Shadow by Patrick Carnes Ph.D.
Every Man's Battle by Craig Gross and Steven Luff

But, of course, not of the above matters without surrending our hearts to Christ's Grace and Love.
I pray that more brave women like Jessica Richardson (and men too) rise up to fight against this horrible addiction.

Posted By: Pete | November 9, 2011 10:38 AM

Kim
It depends on what age you think "kids" need to be told "everything" about sex. Most homosexuals and transgenders, etc seem to want their homosexual agenda pushed on little 5 year olds, or even younger, who often don't even know the difference between boys and girls, except for maybe hair length. They need to be told to not let anyone touch them in their private parts, to not talk to strangers, and to scream and run away if a stranger tries to take their hand and walk away with them, etc. They don't need to know all the gritty details of life at such a young age, and it's just one of the reasons I'm very against them adopting children. Many don't seem to actually care about the child, but just want to indoctrinate children as soon as they can.

That's actually directly against my personal experience - most of the other LGBT people I know want to live and let live. As a transgendered woman, I wouldn't explain everything to a young child that asked; I would simply say something along the lines of "I'm a girl God made a little different than most".

As a child got older, I might give a better explanation; I wouldn't give a mostly-complete explanation until they were teenagers. I don't even give complete explanations to most adults when they ask; a lot of them turn a bit green when I start explaining how the surgeries work.

As for the "gritty details of life" in regards to sexuality, I'd leave it with "Sometimes girls love other girls", or something along those lines. There's no reason to explain anything more than that - which, in a way, explains how simple the concept really is.

If these are what you mean by pushing the "homosexual agenda", than yes, I suppose I would be pushing it. I would disagree with that phrase; my "homosexual agenda" is that I don't want to risk being insulted, beaten, or killed, and I want the same rights to be granted by the government to me that are granted to others. (I will say I don't entirely agree with "hate crime" legislation, regardless of source.)

But when a child is raised to hate or distrust that which is different than them - not a natural instinct - it becomes a terrible thing. You speak of pushing the homosexual agenda on 5 year olds; what agenda has a five year old that keeps yelling "are you a man or a woman" at a transwoman been taught?

All of that is mostly irrelevant, though. Children should be loved by parents; the sexuality of the parents should not matter in the adoption.

Posted By: Newly Karen | November 9, 2011 12:50 PM

Newly Karen, I'm really glad to hear that, you do truly seem to understand that children are ready for certain information at different times in their development. I have talked to, and seen others post here that insist that the little ones, like 4 years old, should be told absolutely everything, and I'm just really against that. Thankfully, if someone does that, it will go in one ear and out the other most of the time. But I don't see a reason to take their innocence away, they grow fast as it is, and will know the right things at the right times, if their parents have their best interest at heart. There are books on the market that give advice to parents about what to say and talk about at various ages, and many of them are pretty good. But every parent knows their own child best, and hopefully will tell the child age appropriate facts as they mature.

Posted By: Kim | November 9, 2011 3:04 PM

I live in NYS and it should not be the gov'ts business to teach sex, any sex to children. It should be the parents' job. As for Church, please, school has the kids all day long all week long. Church has the kids 45 minutes on Sunday with the parents waiting at the doors. None of my friends had sex until marriage and in college the kids are actually adults at that point. What they do is their business. People I met after high school and during college fell into the new sex teaching at that time and those I still know have had many marriages but at least they didn't get pregnant until they wanted to. However, my nieces and nephews in two families had sexual teaching in school, didn't get graduated because of pregnancy, been in and out of jail due to drugs, fighting, etc. None are married and barely supporting themselves and their kids. The boys don't respect the girls and the girls just want sex figuring the guy will finally marry them. In one generation, our "future" has been destroyed by making sex the no. 1 priority and not school. I can't help them any more. They are on their own. I try to counteract the school through teaching religion to children and judging by the parents flying into afterschool classes, they are looking for the same thing for their kids. The public schools don't listen, the teachers are in power and you get laughed at the board meetings when you bring up the sex education problem. And, yes, I worry about the kids growing up under my wayward nieces and nephews but they'll probably follow their footsteps due to what is being pushed on them even more in school than when their parents were in school because my nieces and nephews were taught to not listen to their parents only to the teachers teaching them crap. I just leave them to their own deviations to stay out of any disagreements. They have to hit bottom first to change and gov't financial support makes sure they never hit bottom, just exist. I'm lucky and thankful that I have one family where the kids were in a great school for educating for a future job, not sex, and those nieces and nephews are doing great and keep in contact with me no matter where their jobs take them all over the world where they help kids learn about Jesus.

Posted By: Original Anna | November 9, 2011 7:49 PM

Regarding Sin, Jesus had the following words to say:
“They will die in their sins.” Jesus
“They are slaves to sin.” Jesus
“Their guilt remains in them.” Jesus
“Their own words will condemn them at the last day.”
“There is no excuse for their sin.” Jesus
John 8:21, 34; 9:39-41; 14:47, 48; 15:22

Regarding Our Own Ability To Gain Victory, Jesus Had This To Say:
“The Son can do NOTHING by Himself.” John 5:19; 6:28
“The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for NOTHING.” 6:63
“Apart from me you can do NOTHING.” John 15:5

Regarding Our Sin, Shame, Guilt, Regret, Jesus:
“Was made to BE all our sin,” and all the shame and guilt. 2 Cor. 5:21

So why do we, along with Jessica, continue to struggle with shame after we have confessed our sins?
After we’ve turned to Jesus and we are serving Him in ministry?

Because satan, the “father of lies” has placed lies or negative beliefs in Jessica’s heart about herself, because of those photo’s....and praise the Lord, HE has power to change those thoughts, revealing, releasing and replacing all that shame with HIS peace that passes understanding...

Posted By: Paul Coneff | November 11, 2011 6:38 PM

I praise God that Jessica is sharing so openly and impacting so many…

In our discipleship ministry, we focus on “Prayer and Ministry of the Word,” (Acts 6:4), ministering to wonderful people like Jessica, (www.straight2theheart.com). If we had the privilege of praying with Jessica and/or someone like her, we would begin by sharing how Jesus intentionally connected His story of abuse with hers, as He was:
1. stripped naked,
2. physically violated, (Isaiah 52:14)
3. after being sold for the PRICE OF A SLAVE,
4. mentally and verbally abused by those in authority
over Him,
5. suffering in His soul, (Isaiah 53:11),
6. so He could earn the right to “rise with HEALING in
His wings,” for her heart, her mind, her soul,
(Malachi 4:2)..fulfilling prophecy at every step of
the way (Luke 24:24-26; 44-49)

Then we would begin praying a scripture like Psalms 139:23-24, “Dear Lord, Please search Jessica’s heart, revealing to her the negative thoughts she has received from the ‘father of lies’ about herself, because of those pictures she can’t get back….

Those negative beliefs creating the negative feelings of shame.” In YOUR name, JESUS, Amen.

And we would pray another prayer after the beliefs came up… “Dear Jesus, thank YOU for fulfilling prophecy, as YOU were stripped naked, physically violated, shamed and humiliated, verbally and mentally abused by those in power over YOU, so YOU could suffer as Jessica, embracing all her pain, all the abuse, all the being sold and betrayed, and all the lies from the ‘father of lies’ (I’m worthless, my identity is in my pictures that others see, pictures I cannot get rid of…. ie. I am my mistakes, or whatever those thoughts are)… so YOU could rise again to heal her wounded heart, setting her free from the pain and shame, the struggles with food and control…walking her out of her mental prison (Luke 4:18) of believing her identity is based on those pictures, so she can receive her truest, deepest identity as YOUR daughter, receiving YOUR PURITY in this area of her heart, mind and soul.

In YOUR name, JESUS, Amen.

The power for healing is NOT in the words… it is in applying the scriptures to our minds and hearts, trusting the Holy Spirit to heal our hearts as we trust in Jesus words, “If I am lifted up, I will draw all men (hearts) unto ME.” (John 12:32).

And we would continue praying, asking God to reveal all the lies, along with all the ways Jesus has “become like her in EVERY way,” (Hebrews 4:17-18), taking “EVERY THOUGHT captive to the obedience of Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).

We do this ALL the time, week in and week out with people, continuing to pray until they have the “peace that passed understanding,” because Christ is actually living inside that area of their heart, their life….

So every time someone like Jessica would think about her abuse or the pictures, she would not have any shame…

She would be thinking about what JESUS has done for her in her mind and heart, not what someone has done to her..

She will not forget what was done to her…but the dominant focus will be on what Christ has done for her….empowering her into more and more ministry to others in this critical area of life for so many who have fallen...

Especially girls who are lonely and insecure and so, so, so vulnerable to abuse and the sex slave industry.

Posted By: Paul Coneff | November 11, 2011 6:45 PM

Well, the biggest factor is still ethic background, a state like Texas has more teen births since it has a high Hispanic population while New Hampshire is pretty middle class and heavily non-Hispanic white. This is a factor ignore on teen births. In California one of the lowest is Irvine a lot of upper middle class whites and Asians more Chinese. Granted, they may not abstain from sex more but they may use birth control more than lower income individuals or ethnic minorities. Not that I saying its great to have sex before 18 years old. This explains differnces between the states, white middle class states have the lowest birthrates before 18 and the South which is heavily black and Texas heavily Hispanic are high in teen births.

Posted By: cynthia curran | November 21, 2011 10:09 PM